Feedback desired for "Massage from heaven" series

[HypnoHarpy]

Hi guys, the Massage from Heaven series were my first attempt at writing erotic stories. If you've got any feedback I'd appreciate it!

 

[Debbie]

A link to your stories

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=34799

 

[Guest]

Entertaining........but.

I was enjoying the story until you got to the part where "You're eyes are getting sleepy......"

Having been involved in a study in College, it is basically impossible to hypnotize anyone and get them to have sex with you. No matter how attractive or good looking you may or may not be. The "act" though hypnotisim may induce someone into being interested, that's about as far as it will go. They still have to want to be in a "conscious" state, it may dig out a burried desire, but its not going to automatically make someone to suddenly do something (especially of a sexual nature) that they weren't already planning on doing anyway.

Perhaps that was where you were headed with your first story, that she was planning on being with him before hand. But to actually be seduced while hypnotized just didn't fly.

However....the beauty about writing is, we can make happen whatever we want to happen. So I'll give you points for that one.

To sleep - perchance to dream. William Shakespear

 

[cyndiesweet]

Doesn't the nature of the catagory allow for artistic licence here? I mean what is the point of writing an erotic story involving hypnotism if you can't get someone to do something they might not otherwise do? Granted in real life hypnotism takes on a much different role. I used it to have a pain free birth with my second daughter (not very erotic). How many of the stories here could even possibly be true. We all use artistic licence some more than others to create a fantasy of sorts.

 

[Guest]

lol...I'm sorry don't get me wrong

I really did enjoy the story...and I am sure that MOST people wouldn't give it a second thought either....

I took the class because I "was" curiously interested to see if a person "could" suggest someone do something they might not otherwise EVER do...and learned from that it was basically impossible...

But yes....the purpose of MOST of these stories is fantasy...heavens sakes...I've certainly written several that could be torn apart easily because of the improbability.

So forgive me...it was an observation...nothing more, and certainly nothing against your writing and talents..

To sleep.......perchance to dream - William Shakespear

I remain..............

 

[cyndiesweet]

True enough. Fabulous picture by the way.

 

[Guest]

LOL...thank you.

I'm glad you think so.......

Seems to fit. Feels good on me anyway. But appreciate the comment, I think it will work.

By the way........what dreams would you like me to visit upon you?










I am...............

 

[Guest]

Cheers for your replies guys. I was worried that my story wouldn't flow to well. Writing is never something I've considered to be a talent of mine, certainly having struggled to pass English back at secondary school. Just shows how wrong teachers can be, eh?

 

[cyndiesweet]

Thesandman

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