Feedback and suggestions, please

[lilminx]

I just submitted a story that I wrote about 6 months ago for other reasons (don't ask-lol). It's not the greatest, but please check it out and let me know what you think. I'm thinking of writing other stories in a different vein- I didn't find the one I submitted to be erotic, to be honest with you, and I'd like to know what was good and what needs improvement. Here's the link:
http://www.allextremesex.com/storyxs_200109/forcedtoputout.html

The strange thing is, it was put in the extreme category, and I've read some stories that are much more violent than this one in non-extreme categories. Oh well.....