Feedback and critique please.

[LaRascasse]

Hi there,

I am thinking of a sequel to the story Lucid Ending. Before that I would like to hear what you guys have to say about this story, the style, the plot, the characters, the sex... anything.

Feedback and constructive critique is welcome. I look forward to it.

Thanks in advance.

Carpe diem
-LaRascasse

 

[belizelarry]

Just finished reading this story. Unbelievably fantastic. Very emotional on many levels. I hope this story is from your mind and not a real life experience. The posts at the end of the story show you have a faithful following that want more.

 

[sun_sea_sky]

Hi there,
I would like to hear what you guys have to say about this story, the style, the plot, the characters, the sex... anything.

I commented under the story. It's kinda hard to see where you can go after this I must say.

The characters were very good, the sex was a bit distracting. My only criticism would be that too much was happening.

Let's see:

• Incest (sort of)
• Terminal illness
• Fucked-up parents
• Parents died (how, exactly? -- was it really an accident?)
• Control of the company
• Power of attorney over the dying man
• Euthanasia
• Love story
• Blackmail
• Corrupt cops
• The will

You could probably develop some of those plot lines, like Karen fighting to get control of the company, fighting Kurt. Then there would be the charge of murder, etc. How does she get off that?

... the characters ...

Maybe they were too perfect. Like, unbelievably so. But hey, great story, you asked for suggestions.

 

[estragon]

LaRascasse, I liked the story very much, and have said so publicly before now. But I don't see a sequel, despite the clamor of your many fans. I know it's your highest-scoring story, and the fans are yelling for more, but where can you go from the top?

 

[torpedad]

Hi , If your wanting fantasy, for me Maglie Juventus color is much less important then sensitivity and yes size. But, I also like tiny titties to go with the larger nips. The nipples don't have to be giant, but a little bigger is nice. Maybe it's just fond memories of my first love; wow those nipples were as large AC millan as my thumb. I'll never forget the night I reached in her shirt. First no bra, then those nipples!