Feed back wanted please

[MsLinnet]

Started to work on this Idea but have got stuck any one wants to have a go at helping me out.

The Game.

It was supposed to be the holiday of a life time but we messed up and now we have to pay the consequences of our stupidity.

We arrived at the casino at 3 in the afternoon we had four good days and we were $5,000.00 up it seamed that we couldn’t loose and we started this afternoon in the same way in one hour our pot had risen by another $1,000.00 then we decided to change our game how stupid could we be up to now we had been playing for $100.00 per hand but by upping the stake to $500.00 we lost the lot and more within two hours and we didn’t even realise that we had run up debts of $4,000.00 at the hotel we left the tables owing the house $10,000.00 this was when we had the opportunity of writing off all the debt if we were to play one more session of poker but the stakes were very high. The debt was divided equal and we were to play on our own any collaboration and we would be dismissed from the game and we would lose our home and we would have to work of the debt. I was so naive that I asked what I would have to do if I lost I didn’t like the reply but my husbands fate was just as bad. Our body’s were on the line and we were under no illusion on the consequences should we loose.

At 9pm the door to our room was opened a tall stocky man entered the room. “Strip,”
He instructed we did as we were told then he began to grope me Lenny (My husband) protested but the man told him to shut up and when he had finished with me he turned to him and started to run his hands over him after he was done he told us to have a shower and put 5 items of clothing on he then left the room and we carried out our instructions asking ourselves what have we got ourselves into. He came back about thirty minutes later just as I put my jacket over my shoulders.

I need Ideas on how the game plays out and the other couples

 

[Tatewaki]

MsLinnet;

I've never been to Vegas or Atlantic City, but in our small town casino it would be impossible to get into the debt situation you describe. Oh, you could go into debt, but the house doesn't as a rule extend credit. They'll gladly max out your credit cards, though! I've no idea if they'd charge gambling debts to your room, but I have the feeling if they did, it would be levied against the same credit card that secured the suite. They would not let a credit card of, let's say $1,000, leverage a $10,000 debtload.

In other words, the house wouldn't be forced to take such Draconian measures, because they'd already have their loot.

Another point is that sex is cheap and easy to find in the Vegas outskirts. One certainly wouldn't need to potentially spend $10,000 of company money to get sex out of a couple. Why would the casino offer to write off that kind of debt just for sex?

I think that all that is missing is characterization. Make the casino owner/operator a real gambler, a Sky Masterson type who'd bet on raindrops racing down a windowpane. Also show his penchant for high risk games and mental cruelty early on, and such a thing becomes believable. He combines his love of breaking people with his love of gambing.

Also, a slutty couple would probably consent to such a bargain without any qualms. Fuck for 10 large? No problem! No stress = no drama. Play up how faithful the couple is to each other, or on their religious devotion. Perhaps make their home an estate that has been in the family for generations, one the couple cannot part with under any circumstances. Increase the risk factor somehow so that their choice to gamble becomes pivotal and not just another plot point. Also , give them CHOICE. The moment carries more impact if this is something they could have escaped, but brough upon themselves. After the choice, things spiral out of control.

You may want to increase the debt load, as well. I am by no means a rich man, but I can put $10,000 on my credit cards easily, or can call up the bank and secure a line of credit for over twice that amount. If you own your own home you are sure to have some equity in it and can use that to get a loan with little trouble. Perhaps that is the Pounds Sterling / Dollar thing at play? I'd be screwed if I lost $25,000 Cdn, about the amount £10,000 converts to.

It is not my intention to puncture your premise, Linnet, just that I found myself thinking "Why the hell would they consent to this? What am I missing here?"

Perhaps Axeltheswede could help you out. I'm sure not everyone who lives in Las Vegas gambles, but he certainly would've run across more than his share of busted losers in his work as a cabbie in Sin City. He might have some valuable insights about gambling addiction, how gamblers react to losing, what they'd do to recoup, and also how various games of chance are played out.

Good luck. Your story premise has promise!

Regards,

-T

 

[Couture]

Lenny came back to get us. "Have you ever wondered about what goes on in the private rooms?" He smiled mirthlessly. "Well, nows your chance to find out."

He took us to a leather door and entered a code on the keypad. "This room is for some of our special elephants, people who have more money than you would ever dream of. Now, they have plenty of money to hire a whore or two, if they wanted to. But, they like playing with someone a little less jaded . . . a little more innocent. You are free to play against anyone in the room. If you win a game, you get the chips on the table. If you lose, you have to carry out the order of the person you are playing against. The order must be carried out before you can play again and every bet is double or nothing."

"We could never do that," my husband said. "We have jobs . . . lives."

"Please honey," I begged. "Let's just go in and see what it's like. We'll leave if we have to."

He opened the door and smacked me on the ass, as I passed. "Good luck," he laughed.

 

[MsLinnet]

more info wanted

Thank you both for your help on this Please any one else out there has a way to push this idea forward please let me know
Especially if you know how a casino work or maybe a bit more on the seedy side of gambling.