Favorite quotes related to sex.

[AchtungNight]

“Authorities will often warn you of the dangers and sinfulness of sex. There is a lesson to be learned from this- do not have sex with the authorities.” - Matt Groening.

“Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. The answer is yes.” - Anonymous.

Post your favorite quotes on the subject here.

 

[EmilyMiller]

“Yes of course I had my dress laundered, Mr President.”

 

[gunhilltrain]

I got in early with this thread,

Alfred Kinsey was referring to sexual orientation here.

“Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeonholes.” What he meant was that there are no discreet categories, but rather a spectrum of desires that are not easily defined. I'm not an expert on Kinsey, but I could find find more specific details about what he believed.

 

[TheRedChamber]

"You make love like a Japanese meal, Mr Rimmer. Small portions, but (oh!) so many courses."

- Red Dwarf

 

[StillStunned]

"You make love like a Japanese meal, Mr Rimmer. Small portions, but (oh!) so many courses."

- Red Dwarf

That was the first episode that Rimmer did anything likeable. Wasn't it called Holoship, or something? Series 5 or so?

 

[TheRedChamber]

That was the first episode that Rimmer did anything likeable. Wasn't it called Holoship, or something? Series 5 or so?

That's the one. I was about to say it was the Red Dwarf episode easiest to convert to a Literotica story (advanced civilization where refusing an offer of sexual congress is the ultimate in bad manners) but actually quite a few of them could fit as well.

 

[StillStunned]

That's the one. I was about to say it was the Red Dwarf episode easiest to convert to a Literotica story (advanced civilization where refusing an offer of sexual congress is the ultimate in bad manners) but actually quite a few of them could fit as well.

Anything with Ace Rimmer,* for a start. "Sorry Bongo, lunch is... on Millie."

* What a guy!

 

[gunhilltrain]

I'm not an expert on Carl Jung either, but if I was going to have a drink with somebody it would be him rather than Freud. I think this quote refer to sexuality among other things. To explain it as best I can, by "shadow" and "darkness" he is referring to sexuality and aggression, and how those are repressed for social acceptability. Yet he believed that they have to be acknowledged and addressed honestly. I know I'm oversimplifying this.

“How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also If I am to be whole.”

He wouldn't be surprised by the Loving Wives commentators.

“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.”

 

[AchtungNight]

“Edward’s our most eligible bachelor. Every one of us has tried to land him.”

“Well, I’m not trying to land him. I’m just using him for sex.”

- Pretty Woman.

 

[StillStunned]

"Who knew that these hands could give such powerful orgasms?"
"Everyone. We just didn't know they could do it to other people."

- Two And A Half Men

 

[AchtungNight]

“Citizens of Utah, stimulation of the C.L.I.T. is not recommended.”

“It is in _this_ house!”

- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (director’s cut).

 

[Trionyx]

“I need a cocktail…Hold the tail.”

 

[12oclocktales]

Sex is like money; only too much is enough. -- John Updike

 

[intim8]

"Just put your lips together and blow" --Lauren Bacall (in character)

 

[12oclocktales]

He who enjoys a good neighbor, said the Greeks, has a precious possession. Same goes for the neighbor's wife.
-- Anon

 

[Trionyx]

I hear they are naming a new paint after you. It is called Whore Red. It is not very bright, but it is cheap and spreads easily.

 

[Trionyx]

He: Hi, there. I miss you.
She: I can’t talk right now. I’m at a funeral.
He: OMG, who died?
She: My feelings for you.


Ok. I’ll go to my room now….

 

[Kumquatqueen]

All they that love not Tobacco and Boys were Fools.
(attributed to Christopher Marlowe, possibly made up to slander him by Richard Barnes)

 

[intim8]

"I got peanut butter pussy: brown, creamy, and easy to spread."

Free golf clap for whoever remembers what mainstream movie it's from.

 

[MadeleineSinha]

Anything with Ace Rimmer,* for a start. "Sorry Bongo, lunch is... on Millie."

* What a guy!

Smoke me a kipper..

 

[StillStunned]

Smoke me a kipper..

I'll be back for breakfast.

What a guy!

 

[AchtungNight]

From Dear Abby, original source unknown-

A dog named SEX​

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call my dog "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said "I don't care what she is." Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said "You must have been quite a kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said- "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married." The judge said "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex..."

My court date has been set for Friday...

 

[gunhilltrain]

I hear they are naming a new paint after you. It is called Whore Red. It is not very bright, but it is cheap and spreads easily.

So where is that from?

 

[Britva415]

“Citizens of Utah, stimulation of the C.L.I.T. is not recommended.”

“It is in _this_ house!”

- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (director’s cut).

"I make that shit WORK."

 

[Smuttyandfun]

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."