Favorite dialogue heavy stories?

[trained23]

I cringe when I reread my dialogue. It’s like so dry. Like I can’t be sexy for the life of me lol I wish I could. Any pointers are welcomed too

 

[HordHolm]

I cringe when I reread my dialogue. It’s like so dry. Like I can’t be sexy for the life of me lol I wish I could. Any pointers are welcomed too

I'm not particularly good, but when it comes to dialogue some things to remember can help. Firstly, most of the time people talk in short sentences, so keeping your own sentences short adds to the reality. Of course, there are moments when dialogue can get longer, but most people aren't speechifying much, so long chunks of dialogue can seem heavy or unrealistic.

Secondly, think about the kind of conversations (if any) you have during sex. Then chop out most of the 'turn over', 'yeah, like that', 'no, I'm sore' kind of stuff. It's fine to keep a little of the mundane, but a lot of that kind of dialogue is probably better left as action. For a lot of people, quite a lot of the time, sex is rather an internal thing (despite the other person, or even people, who are there) - I have had partners who hardly ever said a word. My wife OTOH is quite vocal, but even then only sometimes. At other times she is getting lost in it, and attempts at conversation would not be welcome. And sometimes I feel the same too.

Lastly, add body language in with the dialogue. We communicate much of what we say non-verbally, but often at the same time as we actually say words. But... be careful not to overdo it.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I cringe when I reread my dialogue. It’s like so dry. Like I can’t be sexy for the life of me lol I wish I could. Any pointers are welcomed too

Find writers who write dialogue you like, that feels natural. Study what they're doing, figure it out. Not sure I can give you any pointers though.

 

[StillStunned]

I have a few. Particularly voyeur stories where discussing what the characters see is a key part of the tension. In While She Watches Them, for example, Allie watches a couple across the street and describes what they're doing to the narrator, who's in the same room. The Walled Garden is about phone calls between two women as they watch the gardener from opposite sites of the garden.

To me, the dialogue in both stories sounds natural. Then again, I wrote it. Like @HordHolm mentions, keep sentences short. The more excited people are, the less likely they'll be to monologue. And break the dialogue up with action. Get rid of as many dialogue tags as you can, and instead describe what the speaker is doing, or what their voice sounds like, or what they might be thinking.

As always, Read Aloud as the final check before publishing will help not just with typos, but also with spotting anything that feels stilted or unnatural.

 

[Original_Blue]

Regular dialogue is easy. When it comes to the steamy parts, I struggle a bit. What helps a lot is reading my dialogue loud. As soon as it sounds unrealistic, corny or straight from the script of a gonzo porn movie I rewrite it.
Pro tip: You might wanna use an AI or other digital tool or a friend to read your dialogue for you.

In general I try to find words which I would find hot if I were in an arousing situation. Finding the right "dirtiness" of words can be a bit challenging though.

"Oooohhh yesss, fuck my ass/anus/asshole/bunghole/ass pussy/shitter/....."

See what I mean? It can be hard to find words that are dirty enough, not too clinical, but still would be realistic. I mean would a regular woman who's not a particular "dirty" character beg someone to fuck her shitter or would she beg to fuck her ass? Would she even demand an ass fuck or would she probably say something more tame like put it in my back door? That's where I need to imagine a bit more of my characters.

It doesn't get better since I write in german ^^

 

[AlinaX]

People struggle with dialogue, often because they're afraid of it.

My advice: Imagine you're reading the story aloud to someone you're trying to seduce.

Here's a fun 750 with lots of dialogue: A Lively Tale Indeed

 

[Trionyx]

Just between you and I, dialogue is like, you know, where poor grammar is used.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

When I write dialogue, I do my best to put myself in the shoes of the characters and I respond to them the way I would respond to someone talking to me IRL.

“You talk to people, right?” she asked me.

“I mean, sure. I guess. Sometimes. Who doesn’t?” I told her.

“Then just write it like you’d say it. Keep shit natural.”

“What about when we’re fucking?’

“You spend most of that time grunting, dude.” She scoffed.

“Eh? Good point. So just write ‘grunting’ a lot?’ I asked, raising an eyebrow. “isn’t that going to get, you know, tedious?’

“You’ve got google. There’s a thesaurus somewhere on the internet. Use it.”

Etc.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

See what I mean? It can be hard to find words that are dirty enough, not too clinical, but still would be realistic. I mean would a regular woman who's not a particular "dirty" character beg someone to fuck her shitter or would she beg to fuck her ass? Would she even demand an ass fuck or would she probably say something more tame like put it in my back door? That's where I need to imagine a bit more of my characters.

You imply this, but one thing to make this even harder: different characters would say things differently. A 50-year-old woman who has a high school education and no interest in reading might say "pussy". A 50-year-old woman who is a professional, I don't know, art historian, might actually say "vulva" without thinking. A 50-year-old woman who was raised in a very sex-negative environment might not know any words dirtier than "private parts".

--Rocco

 

[Original_Blue]

Yes, that's what I mean. Imho this forces me as a writer to spend more time thinking about my characters - even if I don't give them a comprehensive written background.