Favorite Character Desciptions.

[FifthEstate]

Do you have a favorite short (or long) passage that best describes one of your protagonists? Physical, personality or other attributes welcome.

Here is one from my story “Warden’s Wife Pays Debt”: The warden reveled in this sort of flirtatious interaction with his young wife, knowing the rest of the world observed her as an attractive, gifted pediatrician and conservative hospital administrator. Only he was aware that when she allowed her outward, caring professional persona to be unmasked, a sexual, sometimes kinky tigress resided beneath the cloaked image. He was the very thankful beneficiary of that side of his hot wife's divergent personality.

 

[MrPixel]

From Off Campus 03 Pt. 02:

=====

Ally is waiting at our favorite table for six. Across from her...

Ohmyfuckinggawd.

Rising from her seat across from Ally to greet us is this absolutely spectacular slender longhaired blonde with tight, subtle curves and legs that go to infinity. Gorgeous smiling and welcoming face. I am breathless, as Ally was right, nearly the spitting image of Cyan when we married, twenty-some years ago.

She steps towards me, I reach to shake her hand, but she not only goes for a friendly hug, she goes for a passionate embrace with a completely, totally lascivious kiss for the exclamation point. I returned the favor. I couldn't help it. And did I just feel her grab my junk?

 

[AlexBailey]

From part 1 of A T-girl and a Tomboy:

———

I'm dying inside. Raven herself is a work of art, she's multi-ethnic Pacific Islander, with brown skin and dozens of long black braids. With strong, lithe limbs, she's a gymnast and a dancer who moves with grace and has eyelashes like the girls on magazine covers. It's easy to daydream while watching her. I've seen that lots of other people have that problem too. She often wears wet-look items to the beach and surfs in exotic bikinis. A thong under a silky sundress always makes the sweetest lines on her perfect ass. This is the first time I've heard her say my name.

————

 

[SimonDoom]

This is over the top, but it was meant to be since it's from my Mickey Spillane/Loving Wives spoof, BTB Incorporated:

There are some damn fine women in this town, but not a lot of them as fine as Svetlana. She looked like she'd just walked off the pages of a pinup magazine. A thick mane of wild blonde hair. Eyes of blue flame. Full cherry lips. A figure that made hourglasses blush, and legs that made dancers weep. And she was showing a lot of her figure, too, because at that very moment Mrs. Myron Hansfield was wearing an ice-blue satin chemise and four-inch heels, and she had an opened champagne bottle in one hand and two champagne flutes in the other. It was obvious she'd been expecting something, or someone, but we were not it, or him.

 

[Lifestyle66]

From the opening of my latest story "The Real Gift: Her Fantasy":

"Happy New Year," I said to my gorgeous wife, Jan, as she came into the kitchen from the bedroom. She was dressed in her usual workout shorts and the sports bra barely containing her ample chest, her long auburn-hair tied back in a ponytail, ready for her morning workout.

"Happy New Year to you, too," she said a little tired after the late-night celebration. But hers was still a cheerful tone, not indicating any sign of a hangover. She walked to the cupboard to retrieve a coffee mug for her first cup of the morning. "What do you have planned today?" she asked over her shoulder as I admired her tight ass and long legs when she raised up on her toes to reach into the cupboard.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

"She had hair the colour of gold in old paintings. She had a full set of curves. And the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day."

- Frank Drebin ('The Naked Gun')

I dunno if anyone will ever manage to pull off a description that epic ever again...

 

[NoTalentHack]

From an upcoming story, Meat Market:

Six year old Sarah expected to be a Disney princess. Hell, I looked like one, Snow White to be specific: black hair, pale complexion, rosy cheeks, ruby lips. My eyes are green, but outside of that? We could have been twins. Unfortunately, my Prince Charming turned out to be moonlighting in a whole library of other women’s stories.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Do you have a favorite short (or long) passage that best describes one of your protagonists? Physical, personality or other attributes welcome.

Not a protagonist per se, but a central part of You Spin Me Round.

The overall impression was of a large cable reel, or rather two different sized ones that had been joined together. Indeed maybe that was just what they had been in an earlier life. The lower section had a wide disk, maybe eight foot across, which was bolted securely to the floor. From this a central cylinder rose to meet an upper disk, which was smaller, about four foot in diameter. Somehow things had been arranged so that the top disk could spin on the lower section. When Rian gave it a tug, it moved smoothly round with a low swish of ball bearings. It took a second or so to stop rotating when he let it go. Based on how much effort Rian had used, I judged it to be quite heavy.

But it was not the general mechanics that I noticed, rather the finer details. The upper disk was padded in some black material; my nostrils alerted me to it being leather. On one side, shiny metal lithotomy stirrups, with padded leg rests, had been fixed, conveying a gynecological impression. However, I noted that gynecologists seldom used padlocks. Also the distance between the two foot rests seemed wider than usual. Between the stirrups, a curved section had been removed from the upper disk, making it look like the start of an eclipse. Antipodal to this, another section had also been cut out and housed something akin to the headrest from an airline seat; but one that was tilted back below the plane of the upper disk. Once again, I doubted that many airlines used black leather and I was yet to see what appeared to be a neck belt on a plane. If the stirrups were south and the headrest north, then a bit above the equator and to the east and west were two short chains, ending in leather wrist cuffs; they were identical to the well-used ones David had instructed me to buy in the adjacent room almost a year ago. Finally, spanning the center, was another buckled leather belt, rather wider and longer than the one near the headrest.

[…]

The machine was not subtle. Even the most innocent of minds would probably have dimly glimpsed its purpose. Falling somewhat short of innocence myself, the intent was crystal-clear. I began to detect the familiar presence of two countervailing feelings: trepidation and anticipation. I say countervailing, but in truth, each feeling intensified the other one. They were two sides of the same coin.

 

[HeyAll]

Off the top of my head, I like this one from "Career Mothers" because it's simple and gets straight to the point:

https://www.literotica.com/s/career-mothers-hotel-secrets

The woman's name is Nicole, and after she gets dressed, she puts the final touches on her makeup and fixes her hair in a slick ponytail. She is the ideal employee for a tech company's sales team. Attractive. Sharp. Mannered.

 

[SimonDoom]

Another one from my story The Bullfighter and The Woman:

He undressed the woman and she lay pale and naked in his bed. Her skin shone like snow and her body curved like the tan hills outside the town. The road rose and fell on those hills and a man taking the road enjoyed the curve of the road so much he forgot where he was going.

 

[MillieDynamite]

She is not exactly a hot character (well she is, but these don't do her justice but rather show the changes). From my novella “Written in Bood,” a description early on in the book:

“My first impression of the Countess, this woman is venerable, imposing, and quite severe, natheless, a happy person, her face creased with deep laugh lines. She smiles easily and has sparkling, bright eyes. I place her age somewhere older than Cornelius. Perhaps 65 or 70 years, even so, for her achievements, this is not enough. However, she appears much younger than she is.

A natural intelligence shined through her eyes, and they carried the wrinkles of wisdom, in fine weblike lines, about them. Still, she has lovely hair, streaked with much gray, beautiful, and quite thick. Her nose is aquiline, like the beak of a grand bird, and she has a noble bearing about her.”

And later in the story:

“Looking at her, I realized how much she had changed. She appeared younger than me, decades younger than when my eyes first set eyes on her. Her eyes were brighter than before, her body tightened and toned. Her hair, once streaked with gray, shined jet black and smooth as silk. The furrowed lines in her face were gone. In only a few short days of feeding on sips of my blood and the carnality of my flesh, she had grown a lustrum younger than I.”

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I was going to put up something from my vampire story. I won't do it now that 'you-know-who' stole my thunder.

 

[ElectricBlue]

From an upcoming story, Meat Market:

Six year old Sarah expected to be a Disney princess. Hell, I looked like one, Snow White to be specific: black hair, pale complexion, rosy cheeks, ruby lips. My eyes are green, but outside of that? We could have been twins. Unfortunately, my Prince Charming turned out to be moonlighting in a whole library of other women’s stories.

I suspect that will get a double rejection, age and Disney. I'd change that, to be on the safe side.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I was going to put up something from my vampire story. I won't do it now that 'you-know-who' stole my thunder.

Whoa, bitch .

 

[ElectricBlue]

From my Mickey Spillane yarn:

I heard the drag of the visitor's chair pulled across the floor and the soft swish of stockings as she sat, crossing her legs. I heard the snap of a lighter and smelled the tang of cigarette smoke. Lucky Strikes, menthol. Pushing the ashtray across the desk, I looked up.

To find myself looked over. The dame was a beauty, her lips scarlet, her eyes dark under the tilted brim of a pill-box hat. She dragged on her cigarette.

"You takin' visitors, or just takin' your time?"

Her voice was low and rough; a two pack a day gal, I guessed. Or too much whiskey on a southbound train. Whatever the cause, she sounded fine. Looked fine, too.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I don't know the history of @NoTalentHack, and I don't know the context of this section, but just considering the text as it is written here, I strongly doubt it would/should be an issue. I've had children watching Disney movies (titles included) in my stories; no biggie.

And describing a character's childhood in backstory before they grow into an adult and do sex stuff seems to be fine, as long as the under-age parts aren't sexualising.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I don't know the history of @NoTalentHack, and I don't know the context of this section, but just considering the text as it is written here, I strongly doubt it would/should be an issue. I've had children watching Disney movies (titles included) in my stories; no biggie.

I was thinking more of a word bot bounce, as something very easy to avoid.

 

[NoTalentHack]

I suspect that will get a double rejection, age and Disney. I'd change that, to be on the safe side.

It’s a 30 year old woman describing herself, and how she ended up as a barfly instead of a princess. If the mods kick, I’ll switch it out.

 

[ElectricBlue]

If people want this in their story, and if this gets rejected due to a bot (something far from certain) I think the rejection could easily be challenged. Stop telling people to change perfectly fine text.

Well okay, but we've all seen stories reported bounced for exactly this kind of thing; but sure, it's up to the author if he wants a go-around. It's his time, not mine. Shrug.

You did notice my choice of words, "I'd change that, to be on the safe side"? That's me, suggesting something, not telling the guy what to do, unlike your direct instruction to me.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It’s a 30 year old woman describing herself, and how she ended up as a barfly instead of a princess. If the mods kick, I’ll switch it out.

I'd expect that would be fine, but to avoid accidental skim-rejection, might not hurt to mention it in the notes section of the submission.

The story of Snow White, "skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as ebony", was published by the Brothers Grimm back in 1812, so she's very much in the public domain. Only the aspects of her specific to the Disney version would be protected.

 

[Bramblethorn]

re. the original question: I tend to go light on physical description, but I'm fairly happy with this one [NB the character is well over 18 before the story takes a sexual turn]:

Anjali was sixteen when I met her, a slightly-built girl who wore great big glasses that made her look like an owl. She was in her second-last year of high school, attending a private ladies' college that her parents had most likely chosen for the height of its perimeter wall and the cast-iron spikes at the top.

She loved to spend her lunchtimes alone in the school library, reading anything she could lay her hands on. As a result, she could reel off facts about anything from the history of watchmaking to the moons of Jupiter, and she'd do so at the slightest opportunity.

For all that, though, she could be deeply clueless on some matters. She had an impressive vocabulary but found literature classes immensely frustrating because she always missed subtext; she could recite the "Friends, Romans, countrymen" speech from memory, but never noticed how Antony uses that speech to manipulate the crowd.

Once we had a very confusing conversation where Anjali insisted that Australians used to eat mammoth meat. It turned out she'd been reading an old novel where somebody had a "mammoth sandwich", and hadn't understood that the author just meant a big sandwich.

 

[yukonnights]

It's kinda hard to find something concise, but from the story The Legend of Bo Keap I kinda like this;
The copied part below is a scene early in the story of Bo Keap taking revenge on a wealthy rancher in central Texas for using his power & influence to steal his family's small ranch. His parents died of broken hearts and hopelessness in Austin. After putting his younger sister on a train to a distant aunt — Bo only had one thing on his mind … revenge.
____

Right on time the old man walked off his front porch and sauntered toward the horse barn. In his head Bo heard the silent voice say, 'in about five seconds he'll open the gate and walk into the paddock -- he'll fasten the gate, turn and'... the roar of the rifle reverberated through the still morning air -- a terrified covey of quail took flight nearby. Bo calmly rose to his feet and mounted his horse. He had seen the blood explode from the old bastard's chest, that was all he had to do today.
____

In the story, after that Bo made his way up into the Cripple Creek Colorado county. He became a highwayman/outlaw with a Robin Hood life of stealing from the rich who oppress the "little guys" in the gold-diggings, etc.