Father's Day (some thoughts)

[Extreme Bohunk]

This is something I posted on another site. There's a lot of new and/or soon to be parents on there, so I thought I'd pass on some tidbits I've gleaned over the years. I figured, 'what the hey, my Lit friends might enjoy this', so here ya go.

Parenting is the goofiest, best and worst job on God's green earth. First, there's like 9 months of unanswered questions and the joy of your soon to be Mother turning into a raging and ever growing water balloon of hormonal imbalances and mood swings. Plus the fun of getting to pull her hair out of her face (and not in the good way) when morning sickness comes to call. Then, she starts to eat. And eat. And eat some more. You find yourself guarding your plate like some convict in one of those old prison movies. Pretty soon she starts craving combinations of food no normal person would dream of, and you better get out of bed to run out and get them with a smile on your face at any time of day or night or you can book another ride on the scariest ride ever, 'the Hormonally Imbalanced Roller Coaster'. Oh yeah, and watch out for the surprise haircut. For some reason, women get this idea that with all the extra baby pounds they're packing, and the adorable 'my back is killing me' waddle, that a haircut right out of boot camp will cure all the self-image concerns she has while her body goes through things that would drive any male insane. (Trust me guys, we really, really got the better end on this part of the deal) So you see her new 'waiting for the Governer to call' neatly coiffed 'do and as your mind is going 'So, how's the Chemotherapy working out?' she asks "Do you like it? Do you think I'm pretty?"

This is a true test of a man. Whatever you do, don't tell her the truth. Lie, Brother lie. Lie your ass off like OJ at a family reunion. Look her dead in the eye, grit your teeth and choke out how much you like it. Then take her for some ice cream. It will grow back, eventually. If you tell her the truth on this one, she will either dissolve into a pool of tears, or possibly wait until you're asleep and cut off something of yours that won't grow back...And believe it or not, the 2nd option is less painful in the long run.

So about the time you've given up the concept of 'your side' of the bed, which in the last trimester decreases almost hourly, due to her expanding horizons, and the need to snuggle up to you for comfort, even though she's turned into a heat machine with legs. (Side note: Low Back rubs. Give them. Just do it.) And for some reason, you feel closer to her than you ever have before. In a good way.

Finally, the blessed day arrives. If you've taken the classes, you can have a front row seat right there in the Delivery Room. If you don't pass out, give yourself 35 Real Man points. Add another 50 if you paid attention in class enough to coach her through labor. Forgot to add earlier- If you attend the feminine ritual known as 'the Baby Shower' be prepared. Practice going "ooh" and "ahh" over an endless parade of tiny clothes you know nothing about. Try to stay out of the pictures, your buddies will invaribly see the ones they'll give you the most crap about later on. Yeah, putting on a baby bonnet was funny when you were surrounded by a flood of estrogen and nurturing pheremones, but there's no need to save it on film for game day w/ the boys.

"It's a boy!"

"And what a boy!"

"No, Mr. Simpson, that's the umbilical cord."

So, boy or girl? This is where your path in life forks. You don't really have an option here, it's gonna be one way or the other. One thing I've learned in life. Having a boy makes you a Dad, having a girl makes you a Father. There's a big difference. Believe it, and don't let anybody B.S. you any differently. I'm not even going to pretend I know what's good advice on how to raise these little monsters. All you can do is guess at what's best, and hope for it. One thing for sure, you're going learn what 'unconditional love' really means. They will make you laugh harder, cry harder, worry more, and teach you things you could never imagine. By the way, if your parents ever put The Curse on you, you know the one where (usually your Mom) they say "I hope when you have kids, they act just like you!", this is where it starts to come into effect. Don't laugh. It's real, and it works.

Now here's where it gets really weird. IF, you do your job right as a parent, and don't screw these wonderful and ever changing bundles of joy up, they grow up and move away. Then they start the whole process over on their own, knowing that they'll be better parents than you, even when you try to keep them from making the same mistakes with their kids that you made with them. Other than that, it's pretty easy. Of course, you still have the option to put The Curse on them. Happy Father's Day!

 

[English Lady]

I'll send this to my hubby -I kow he#ll appreiciate it

 

[rgraham666]

One of the biggest fears a father has is that their daughter will meet a boy that was just like the father at that age.

 

[Extreme Bohunk]

Yeah, I forgot that part.
The one where she brings home some jerk who really rubs you the wrong way and when you ask her what she sees in this doof, she says "He reminds me of you."

 

[Guest]

It's hard to be a dad with a daughter. Son seems to come easier, at least now.

My husband does well, but sometimes he is at a loss when our daughter has her specific pre-teen issues.

*sigh*

She'll always know he is her rock, though. He is there for her, and as she gets older she'll understand that more and more.

Happy Father's Day to all dads out there!

 

[neonlyte]

Nice post EB

Happy Fathers Day to all Dad's and Fathers - specially those struggling to eat that "Fathers Day breakfast" your little ones have made for you.





Talking about the free market <look's over shoulder> Fathers Day seems to be the same internationally, Mothers Day seems to be on different days internationally, was this a 'cunning plan' by the flower growers?

 

[hugo_sam]

......

 

[matriarch]

...........
Talking about the free market <look's over shoulder> Fathers Day seems to be the same internationally, Mothers Day seems to be on different days internationally, was this a 'cunning plan' by the flower growers?

The Story of Father's Day

Father's Day, contrary to popular misconception, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when a "father's day" was first proposed there were no Father's Day cards!

Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington, first proposed the idea of a "father's day" in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd's mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington state. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent.

The first Father's Day was observed on June 19, 1910 in Spokane Washington. At about the same time in various towns and cities across American other people were beginning to celebrate a "father's day." In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day. Finally in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.

Father's Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure. Stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, and adult male friends are all honored on Father's Day.

Whereas Mother's Day.......

In the UK, Mothering Sunday (also known as Mother's Day) is a religious holiday, the 4th Sunday in Lent, and has no connection whatsoever with the commercial Mother's Day celebrated in the States, in May.

See this link, it will give you the Mothering Sunday dates in UK, for the next 9 years, and the history of the day.

Oh, Happy Father's Day to every single one of you out there, but especially to my own dear pops, a very young 86 years old next month. Much love, Dad.

 

[neonlyte]

The Story of Father's Day

Father's Day, contrary to popular misconception, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when a "father's day" was first proposed there were no Father's Day cards!

Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington, first proposed the idea of a "father's day" in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd's mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington state. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent.

The first Father's Day was observed on June 19, 1910 in Spokane Washington. At about the same time in various towns and cities across American other people were beginning to celebrate a "father's day." In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day. Finally in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.

Father's Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure. Stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, and adult male friends are all honored on Father's Day.

Whereas Mother's Day.......

In the UK, Mothering Sunday (also known as Mother's Day) is a religious holiday, the 4th Sunday in Lent, and has no connection whatsoever with the commercial Mother's Day celebrated in the States, in May.

See this link, it will give you the Mothering Sunday dates in UK, for the next 9 years, and the history of the day.

Oh, Happy Father's Day to every single one of you out there, but especially to my own dear pops, a very young 86 years old next month. Much love, Dad.

Thank you Mat's most interesting.
I know Mother's day was a different here than from in the UK and I seem to remember the day being on posters in shop windows when i was in France last month, different again.
Anyway, my 26yr old baby just called me with greetings... so all is well with the world

 

[XXplorher]

Hero

Hmm…

I saw that header and immediately wanted to deliver my father in pride…

Having thought about that, as much as I believe in my abilities to craft words… I can’t do that when it comes to my Dad. It can’t be measured properly.

He may be the bravest man I’ve ever known.

Gay
HIV positive
Stubborn survivor
Humanitarian
Conqueror
Loyalist
Educator
Example

Human


Dad got diagnosed when all that shit was just getting figured out. And he’s still here. He crushes everything they say he can’t expect to. And exhibits absolutely no thought whatsoever to an end. He is here to live. I didn't care for gay people... until I leanred my father was one. He is a fine example for any man.

I owe him everything.

 

[Guest]

From The Writer's Almanac

Poem: "March 8" by David Lehman from The Evening Sun: A Journal in Poetry. © Scribner Poetry.

March 8

Every so often my father comes over
for a visit he hangs his overcoat and hat
on my hat rack I brief him on recent
developments and serve us coffee
he is surprised that I like to cook
once when he made an omelette
he flipped it in the air much to my delight
and it landed on the floor yes that
was the summer of 1952, he remembered
the high breakers and how fearless
I was running into the ocean anyway
the important thing is to see you doing
so well he said and took his coat and hat
and left before I remembered he was dead

Literary and Historical Notes:

Today is Father's Day, a holiday that we celebrate because of a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd. One Sunday morning in May of 1909, Dodd was sitting in church in Spokane, Washington, listing to a Mother's Day sermon. And she thought there ought to be a holiday to celebrate fathers as well. So she went on a crusade to celebrate fathers, and the tradition of observing Father's Day caught on, though not quite as quickly as the tradition of Mother's Day. Mother's Day became an official holiday in 1914, but Father's Day wasn't officially recognized until 1972, almost sixty years later.

Many writers have had difficult relationships with their fathers. When Charles Bukowski was a teenager, his father stumbled upon some of his short stories and read them. Bukowski came home that day to find his clothes, his typewriter, and all the stories he had written lying on the lawn outside his front door.

John Cheever's father was a hard-drinking shoe salesman and an unpredictable man. One night, while setting the table, Cheever's mother casually mentioned that she and his father had gotten into a fight, and his father had decided to drown himself at the local beach. Though he didn't have a driver's license, Cheever jumped in the family car and drove to the beach as fast as he could. He found his father drunk, riding a roller coaster, and had to coax him down and bring him home.

When Franz Kafka was a young boy, he once shouted for a glass of water in the middle of the night, and his father pulled him out of bed, put him on the courtyard balcony, and locked him out of the house. He later wrote, "For years thereafter, I kept being haunted by fantasies of this giant of a man, my father, the ultimate judge, coming to get me in the middle of the night."

The poet Hart Crane's father was the wealthy owner of a candy company, who couldn't understand why Hart Crane wanted to be a poet. His father constantly threatened to disown Hart Crane unless he got a real job.

Stephen King's father was a merchant seaman who deserted the family when Stephen was two. He has no memories of the man, but one day he found a boxful of his father's science fiction and fantasy paperbacks, including an anthology of stories by horror author H. P. Lovecraft. That box of his father's books inspired him to start writing horror stories.

August Strindberg said, "That is the thankless position of the father in the family—the provider for all, and the enemy of all."



I miss my dad very much.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

I love my Dad more than words can express. Cheers Dad, and Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to Adam, too - wonderful Dad of our two girls.

Happy Father's Day to all Dads out there!

 

[kendo1]

Thanks Lou.
Channel 5 showed a film I love tonight. Gerard Depardieu in 'My Father, My Hero'.

Brings a tear to my eyes- the love of a father for his growing up daughter. It was great watching it with my 10yo giggling away beside me.

Ken

 

[moonlight elf]

My Dad's strength and wisdom has always amazed me.
Happy Father's Day, Papa!!

And Happy Father's Day to All the Dads!

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Happy Father's Day, Daddy.

 

[Anniejustagirl]

So, boy or girl? This is where your path in life forks. You don't really have an option here, it's gonna be one way or the other. One thing I've learned in life. Having a boy makes you a Dad, having a girl makes you a Father. There's a big difference. Believe it, and don't let anybody B.S. you any differently.

This is an Amazing point.....

Now here's where it gets really weird. IF, you do your job right as a parent, and don't screw these wonderful and ever changing bundles of joy up, they grow up and move away. Then they start the whole process over on their own, knowing that they'll be better parents than you, even when you try to keep them from making the same mistakes with their kids that you made with them. Other than that, it's pretty easy. Of course, you still have the option to put The Curse on them. Happy Father's Day!

First off.... Happy Father's Day....

secondly.... no Wonder.... i've been in a funk all day and just couldnt figure it out. Granted my mom spent the night in the hospital... giving us a scare, but she's already out and beyond tired is doing well.... just have to get the potassium levels back to normal.....

my daughter is officially overdue to have her baby... she called me this morning to wish me a happy father's day.... i was and am a single parent, so she gives me credit for both roles.....

My Father.... he died over five years ago.... my mom, sis, grand daughter and i were on our way to visit with my aunt whose health was failing... we had checked into the hotel as the flight was early out... we called home to check on Dad... and he was gone.... no warning... he collapsed... most likely dead before he hit the floor... thank the stars... great for my father... not so good for us....

i still miss him so.... they have an Avenue of Flags here every Memorial Day. We go to look for his flag every year... take pic of it with the youngest family member... tell stories about him... laugh and cry.... he was a vet that Hated every moment in the service... he loved his buddies, but he hated being away from home and he rarely left after he returned.... if he had his way he'd have just kept on adding to the house and move family members in as the clan grew.

yes, he was my hero... we should all be so lucky to have a father that is our hero...

He taught me how to play ball... to throw a curve and a riser... a sinker... straight heat... he taught me to step into the pitch and drive it where i needed it to go... he'd practice with me for hours until the dark drove us inside... he taught me honesty at any cost... he taught me faith, hope and kindness... he eventually taught me to drink my whiskey neat with a beer back... and mostly.... he taught me how to laugh at myself and not take life so seriously all the time.

He held me tight and cried with me when i told him i was pregnant and alone.... when i went to school and worked two jobs... it was my father that took care of my child. They became the best of friends. When i had vacation... he would come to my house to ask if KJ could come out to play as he missed her too much. When my daughter went down the path of drugs and loss... it was my father that held me when i cried... it was my father that made it possible for me to go after her... it was my father that shared the strength it took to let her be responsible for her own actions and get her into treatment, even though none of us truly wanted to 'let her go' It was my father that went with me to bring her back home....


Wow! i So miss my father... Happy Father's Day, Del..... you're still my hero!

 

[MissBri]

 

[S-Des]

Nothing poetic, it's just not what I'm good at. I had a really bad weekend until my 6 year-old surprised me with a card, a cake, and some balloons she talked my sister into picking out for me today (I had multiple gigs this weekend, so my sister spent a lot of it watching her). Then this precious angel begged me to stay an extra night and called her mom to say that she needed to stay with me all day for Father's day. I can't imagine it getting better than that.

 

[Guest]

its hard to know how to celebrate mothers day and fathers day in a house filled to overflowing with chicks. for some reason, i get mothers day and lucky gets fathers day...both my girls call her dad. its endearing...and so ...right.

thank you, lucky for being the best 'dad' our girls have ever had.
i love you
'oways'