Fathers and sons

[SeaCat]

This is almost in reply to Selena Kittens thread, and yet it isn't.

I don't have any children so I can't say anything about raising them.

I do remember my own upbringing though.

My father and I were at each others throats, when we weren't backing each other up. He was hard on me, harsh even. He expected perfection. I busted my ass even as I saw my brother and sister being given anything they wanted. I was the one out in the middle of a blizzard to get his ass out of a snowbank while my brother and sister stayed home and warm.

And yet I was the one he wanted with him on the camping trips. I was the one he took with him when he went on hunting trips. I was the one he turned to when the shit hit the fan.

It was only after I moved out that I began to understand.

My father and I are alike in so many ways. we are stubborn, we never give up. We are hard on ourselves. We don't take no for an answer and we believe in a code of honor.

It took me a while to understand that. It took me even longer to understand that he loved me.

Now? Don't try to get between us. No truce has been declared, there was no need for one. We are closer than ever and help each other at every chance. Hell we teamed up to sting my brother at his wedding.

Last winter we teamed up to do some snake hunting in Silver Springs Florida. Between the two of us we bagged 18 large Rattle Snakes. We feasted for months.

Also laast winter we teamed up and did some Pig Hunting. Oh did we feast.

Cat

 

[cloudy]

I have a poem up here on Lit entitled "Father."

He was my hero, what can I say.

 

[rgraham666]

Lucky you, Cat.

My father made it quite clear to me that being born was a failure on my part. And it got worse from there.

Not entirely his fault, he was raised the same way and didn't spend the energy to learn any better.

We tolerate one another now.

 

[glynndah]

You are both so lucky! I envy your strong relationships with your fathers.

 

[cantdog]

There's something you need from your father, some kinda hand on your shoulder or something.

Some of us never get that. It makes you look for it in everyone, for a while.

 

[joeys-game]

My father was considered 'old' already when i was born, in his late 50's..He was an alcoholic and yet he was successfull in many areas. He used to take me out to our cabin at the lake, we would grill steaks and shoot guns.. As i grew, we drifted apart, he became a loner, a recluse almost. At one point in my life it had been years since i had last spoken to him, my wife Angie, encouraged me to call him, to gain some contact, a chance to know him again. We went to visit him, we had a great visit, he was my dad again and i knew he loved me. Sadly the following Christmas, about 3 months after our visit he blew his brains out, he was 70 yrs old.
I thank my wife for pushing me to meet him again..i'll never forget him, he was my father.

 

[joeys-game]

Sorry Cat, didn't mean to bring your thread to a screeching halt!!!
I keep my own sons close to my heart, always interested in what they do, say, feel.
My relationship with my boys, now 6 and 11 is fantastic and i love them dearly!

 

[robincr]

I grew up a state away from my father as he and my mother divorced when I was too young to remember. I saw him more, as I got older, during summers. Eventually spending summer vacations with him and we grew to have a great bond.

He died far, far too young of alcoholism. Despite his flaws, he was my best friend. I miss him, very, very much. Even the thought of him makes me cry, even now over ten years since he died. I'd give nearly anything to be able to call him on the phone again and hear his voice.

 

[SeaCat]

Sorry Cat, didn't mean to bring your thread to a screeching halt!!!
I keep my own sons close to my heart, always interested in what they do, say, feel.
My relationship with my boys, now 6 and 11 is fantastic and i love them dearly!

Screeching halt? Not on your life.

You see me and my father were too much alike. By the time I moved out we hated each other. We would get into physical disagreements. (And if you think that isn't impressive you should have seen them. He stands over six feet and weighs in at over 200 pounds, all muscle. I stood five foot six and weighed 150 pounds, all of it bad. Broken bones and broken furniture were the norm.)

Then in the period of one month life came to a screeching halt for me. I lost my first wife, my first love. I buried her and went back to Europe. Two weeks later I caught a round in the vest, one that split my sternum. I came out from the drugs to find my father sitting next to my bed holding my hand. He was there when Mikki died and he was there when I almost bought it.

My father was there through the next several years of hell I put myself through. He was always there, and he was always willing to push me.

He didn't question what I was doing, yet he always made me question. He had been there you see, he knew what I was going through.

It took me returning to the United States and getting in trouble a time or three for me to realize what I was doing to myself. It took me falling in love again to understand that I was destroying myself.

It took me even longer to understand that my father was always there, and that his love for me was greater than anything I had done. It took even longer for me to understand my father.

You see, he had been there himself, he has the scars to prove it. He, as he put it, had seen what I was made of early on. He kept pushing me, he wanted meto be better than he was without realizing that he was truly someone special. He saw in me his younger self and it scared him. He didn't want me to go through the hell he had gone through. (Too bad I went through worse.)

When I realized this things became clear. Now I understand why he pushed me. Now I understand why we argued and fought.

It was only after I moved to Florida that this became clear to me. My father had gone into the hospital with chest pains. When I heard this from my mother I had packed my wife and our cat into our van and headed north. I only stopped for gas and bathroom breaks for my wife. t took us 48 hours to drive from southern Florida to Cape Cod. I was the only one who showed up, my brother and sister were too busy. (His chest pains were being caused by an old injury but I didn't know that.)

When we drove him home he insisted on stopping at a local store. There he mad his purchases and e continued our drive to his house. Once home my mother had made a feast. My siblings were there and they were shocked when he pulled out a box of cigars and handed them to me. (My father is a rabid anti-smoker.) He insisted I light one up as we sat on the patio.

There on the patio my father, one of the coldest people you ever want to meet, told me he loved me.

I understand him, I am much like him. There is now a bond between us that was never there before.

My father and I are too much alike, and yet we love each other now and we are willing to show that love.

Cat

 

[joeys-game]

Screeching halt? Not on your life.

You see me and my father were too much alike. By the time I moved out we hated each other. We would get into physical disagreements. (And if you think that isn't impressive you should have seen them. He stands over six feet and weighs in at over 200 pounds, all muscle. I stood five foot six and weighed 150 pounds, all of it bad. Broken bones and broken furniture were the norm.)

Then in the period of one month life came to a screeching halt for me. I lost my first wife, my first love. I buried her and went back to Europe. Two weeks later I caught a round in the vest, one that split my sternum. I came out from the drugs to find my father sitting next to my bed holding my hand. He was there when Mikki died and he was there when I almost bought it.

My father was there through the next several years of hell I put myself through. He was always there, and he was always willing to push me.

He didn't question what I was doing, yet he always made me question. He had been there you see, he knew what I was going through.

It took me returning to the United States and getting in trouble a time or three for me to realize what I was doing to myself. It took me falling in love again to understand that I was destroying myself.

It took me even longer to understand that my father was always there, and that his love for me was greater than anything I had done. It took even longer for me to understand my father.

You see, he had been there himself, he has the scars to prove it. He, as he put it, had seen what I was made of early on. He kept pushing me, he wanted meto be better than he was without realizing that he was truly someone special. He saw in me his younger self and it scared him. He didn't want me to go through the hell he had gone through. (Too bad I went through worse.)

When I realized this things became clear. Now I understand why he pushed me. Now I understand why we argued and fought.

It was only after I moved to Florida that this became clear to me. My father had gone into the hospital with chest pains. When I heard this from my mother I had packed my wife and our cat into our van and headed north. I only stopped for gas and bathroom breaks for my wife. t took us 48 hours to drive from southern Florida to Cape Cod. I was the only one who showed up, my brother and sister were too busy. (His chest pains were being caused by an old injury but I didn't know that.)

When we drove him home he insisted on stopping at a local store. There he mad his purchases and e continued our drive to his house. Once home my mother had made a feast. My siblings were there and they were shocked when he pulled out a box of cigars and handed them to me. (My father is a rabid anti-smoker.) He insisted I light one up as we sat on the patio.

There on the patio my father, one of the coldest people you ever want to meet, told me he loved me.

I understand him, I am much like him. There is now a bond between us that was never there before.

My father and I are too much alike, and yet we love each other now and we are willing to show that love.

Cat

damn Cat, i'm glad for you, i really am!
he sounds like one hell of a guy!

I miss my dad, very much.