Fantasy or fetish

[Indianarotica]

Recently, after attending the wedding of my friends daughter, I have become infatuated with making love to a woman in a wedding dress, the whole 9 yards, dress, stockings, garters, shoes all of it. My wife thinks it’s a little weird and maybe borderline fetish. Any ideas on A) how I can persuade my wife to participate and B) is it weird?

 

[DennisB]

A. That answer would need a lot more information on you, your wife, your past, your relationship, etc. However, i believe that a married couple has an obligation to sexual satisfy each other.

B. No, it is not weird. Any fetish that provides sexual please without harming anyone, thing, or self is normal.

 

[Indianarotica]

Always a healthy sex life even after 23 years of marriage. We talk about certain fantasies, but have never really done anything to fulfill each other’s certain fantasies. We play with toys and of course she has all the sexy lingerie either one of us can handle, but like I said, after attending the wedding it started me thinking about it. My wife said she would do the bridal lingerie if I wanted but didn’t feel like going “all out” as she put it

 

[Indianarotica]

As a follow up, are there any women on here that can chime in with your thoughts? I would love to get the female perspective

 

[DennisB]

Here is another sex fact. Just because you both are married, that doesnt mean that your sex drives, wants, needs, and identities are exact with each other. An example, your wife is in the mood for slow, richly foreplayed love making and you just have a raging hard on and need a blowjob. You have no desire for a 2 hour touching kissing session; you just need to cum and quickly, lol! So you both have different sexual desires. Your wife may indulge your sexual fantasies and in fact jump in head first because she loves you but as you both are sitting there sweaty and breathing heavily, she may be thinking, "ehh, it was OK but i am not really into it" while you are thinking about fireworks and how nothing compares to what happened, lol. It is about compromise and satisfying each other.

Too many times i have read from, mostly men, that my wife doesnt do this or my wife doesnt do that. But he doesnt do shit! Now i speak from the premise that both a man and woman have done their homework before hand in selecting someone with whom all their sexual wants, needs, and desires will be fullfilled.

 

[DennisB]

I speak from experience. I failed to properly do my homework with my first wife and our sex life was a disaster. I didn't see the signs or didn't want to see the signs that were right in front of me and believed the lies that she said about how it will get better when this happens or when that happens. I blame myself because you cannot change anyone but yourself. My marriage ended after less than 4 years with a divorce, sex being the main driver. When I dated and courted another, I made sure and so did she that our sexual needs were in sync. If one is smart you will realize that people can change and as we get older, our bodies betray us, sadly lol. You won't wake up with a raging hard on like in yesteryear and she wont be swooning and dripping when you give her "the look", lol. SO...if you do your homework and select the right person to spend the rest of your life with in bed, you will do well. Now, as I said, I failed to do that with my first marriage so I am not a hypocrite and say shame on everyone who failed to do that, lol.

So, lets move to the platform of whether or not 2 people did their homework or not; now they are together and how do you get your spouse to satisfy your individual sexual needs? I don't have the answer my friend. But I can tell you this, YOU cannot do anything, she has to change not you. She has to have the desire to fulfill your sexual needs and wants. Just as you have to have the desire to fullfill her sexual needs and desires. My wife and I have different desires and they have changed over the 17 years we have been together. we have both strived to satisfy each other but in our minds, we are thiniking, "this is OK but I am not getting super turned on by this but I love my spouse so much and seeing him/her getting so excited by this that that is turning me on!"

 

[DennisB]

The best thing that I can suggest is to talk to her. Explain why this is so hot for you. That is the best piece of advice that I can give to you. So many things can be resolved in a marriage with communication. Tell her how much this topic excites you. Tell her that you desire her to be the object of your sexual desires and kinks. My wife has told me of many sexual desires and kinks that she has wanted over the years; Iam not going to go into private matters in this format but I wanted to do them because it was so arousing for me to see her totally lost in sexual excitment. We talked and talked about what we wanted and we did it, satisfying each other. So, talk to your wife...tell her how exciting this is to you. I am sure that she loves you so much that she will want to do this for you! But, deep down, she may not get the same out of it as you do. If you are expecting that, you are barking up the wrong tree. This is your fantasy, not hers. She may have fantasies that she wants to explore that you really have no interest in but you need to do them and put effort into making it a great enjoyment for her just as she should do it and put in the effort to making it a great enjoyment for you.

There are also sex workshops and sex counselling sessions which you both can attend. I hear that they work and work well but the old saying, you cant make a silk purse out of a sows ear comes to mind. If a woman wants her husband to treat her like a hot wife and him be a culkold so she can fuck others while he watches, wont work if he has NO desire for that and it goes against every grain in his beling. No matter how much talk they do, lol! That is where the platofrm of being the same sexual and doing your homework comes in as I spoke of in the beginning. I think that talking about your fantasy and watching porn that relates to fucking a bride in her wedding dress has to happen. If you think that every night she is going to down the entire wedding attire bec=fore coming to bed, you are crazy, lol! My wife took hours to down her wedding dress and helped by others, it is too much to ask for anyone to do this frequently often, lol. BUT, if this is your sexual desire, I see no reason why she cannot perform it, even if it is just once.

 

[DennisB]

Now lets talk about what if she just plain out refuses. Many jump to this before doing anything that I have already suggested. They didn't do their homework, their expecations are outrageous, and they failed to talk to their spouse and just jump to "my spouse wont do this because he/she just doesn't want sex!" Hopefully, you two have talked and talked and talked and talked about this and it worked. But let's suppose, it doesn't, period. No, she won't let you tie her up and spank her; no he won't let you wear reveliing clothing in public even though it sexual excites you; no she won't do "maid employer" roleplay; no he won't eat your pussy; etc, etc, etc.

You have 3 choices:

1. Suppress your sexual feelings and bury them deep down inside because they will never be satisfied, ever, period. Don't watch images like this to stoke the sexual fires, don't read stories about wedding night sex, take a cold shower because it aint gonna happen!!!!!!!

2. Find someone else to scratch this itch. Find someone on the side to endulge in the same fantasies as you have. Your sexual desires will be satisfied.

3. Divorce and find someone who can and will give you the sexual pleasure that you seek.


Now all 3 of these are...well I call them all negative and all have risks but that is life.

 

[DennisB]

Your response was that you both talk about sexual fantasies but you haven't done anything to fullfill them. I read that several times. Why not??????????????????? She has them and you don't make them happen???????? You have them and she doesn't make them happen????????? Sorry man to be blunt and I don't know you but "what the fuck!" She has sexual fantasies and you don't fulfill them and you are wondering why she doesn't fulfill yours??? I mean...what?

Like I said, I am not criticising you at all; it is just hard to read and accept. I do like the fact that you both talk, that is awesome!!!!!!!! My friend, you are better off then many other couples out there. You both communicate!!! Use that to having your wedding dress kink played out. Talk about it, plan it out, compromise a little if you have to. OK, allow her to not have to wear the garter thing and nylons because she doesn't like how it feels of looks but she will put on her dress and vail and have a blast!!!!!!! WHo knows, she may even enjoy it more than she thought she would AND want to do it again!!! LOL!!!!!!!

Ask her specifically why she doesn't want to do the whole thing??? You may get the answers that you seek.

 

[DennisB]

I am sorry about all the typos, my fingers where flying quickly and I probably had a few, lol.


I wish you good luck and if you ever want to talk more, just pm me. And as far as kinky wedding dress sexual fantasies are concerned, I would love to see a pic of your wife in a wedding dress with you taking her, lol!!! It is very erotic!!!!!

 

[Indianarotica]

Anyone else care to chime in on this?