Fantasies

[Jada59]

My friend and I were discussing this the other day. It seems to us that men are more prone to having fantasies.

She and I both agreed that when we were younger, we might read a book or watch a movie and pretend in our mind that we were the woman in the movie. But beyond that, she never had any fantasies.

While I do have some, the guy in mine is always some generic guy. Never the guy I am really with or want to be with. Sometimes there is more than one guy but they're always generic. As in they have cocks but there are no details in my mind beyond that.

I have read books about women's fantasies over the years and for the most part they seem pretty silly to me or they just flat out leave me cold. Such as having a giant vagina that swallows a man whole, teeth in a vagina or being some giant woman. Then there are the more fetish type things like balloons and clowns. Not for me.

Last night I tried looking up women's fantasies online. What I found was also rather boring. Some of these things I have thought of before, some I would never do, some left me cold and some were things I actually have done.

On the online list were things like sex outdoors, with a stranger, being observed or observing, more than one partner, being tied down, etc. Several sites claimed that all women have the fantasy of being with another woman. I never have had that fantasy at all. I have several friends who are lesbians. Some are even attractive. I do find some women to be attractive but I still never thought about having sex with them. Just doesn't do a thing for me because I like men.

So I guess where I am going with all this is... Do you think men are more prone to having fantasies than women are? Do you think men's fantasies contain more details? I ask this because when men have mentioned their fantasies to me, they always tend to get into things like what song is playing, what they are wearing, what the woman is wearing, etc. These details don't usually seem to matter to me.

How can I get myself to explore more in the fantasy realm? I mean... I am a writer. Most of the stories I have written here are true. A few are not. They may contain some true details but beyond that I guess the rest would go into the fantasy realm. Not that I necessarily want those things to happen but sometimes my mind just wanders. How can I get it to wander more?

I also think perhaps the reason I don't tend to have a lot of fantasies is because if I feel like doing something, I just do it. I don't give it much though beforehand. I just go for it and see where it goes.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Thanks!

 

[Justfantasies]

That's very interesting and also very perceptive. I have fantasies all the time with many specifics. Sometimes I have variations on the same fantasies but they are always detailed. I don't talk to men about my fantasies much, so I don't know how common all of the above is with other men. But it seems likely that I am not unique or alone.

When i talk to women I am involved with they are sometimes compliant about role playing my fantasies. But fantasies don't seem to be ever a song thing with them. Mild fantasies about specific guys they would like to fuck, some quasi rape fantasies, and so on. But it never seems to be a big thing.

My friend and I were discussing this the other day. It seems to us that men are more prone to having fantasies.

She and I both agreed that when we were younger, we might read a book or watch a movie and pretend in our mind that we were the woman in the movie. But beyond that, she never had any fantasies.

While I do have some, the guy in mine is always some generic guy. Never the guy I am really with or want to be with. Sometimes there is more than one guy but they're always generic. As in they have cocks but there are no details in my mind beyond that.

I have read books about women's fantasies over the years and for the most part they seem pretty silly to me or they just flat out leave me cold. Such as having a giant vagina that swallows a man whole, teeth in a vagina or being some giant woman. Then there are the more fetish type things like balloons and clowns. Not for me.

Last night I tried looking up women's fantasies online. What I found was also rather boring. Some of these things I have thought of before, some I would never do, some left me cold and some were things I actually have done.

On the online list were things like sex outdoors, with a stranger, being observed or observing, more than one partner, being tied down, etc. Several sites claimed that all women have the fantasy of being with another woman. I never have had that fantasy at all. I have several friends who are lesbians. Some are even attractive. I do find some women to be attractive but I still never thought about having sex with them. Just doesn't do a thing for me because I like men.

So I guess where I am going with all this is... Do you think men are more prone to having fantasies than women are? Do you think men's fantasies contain more details? I ask this because when men have mentioned their fantasies to me, they always tend to get into things like what song is playing, what they are wearing, what the woman is wearing, etc. These details don't usually seem to matter to me.

How can I get myself to explore more in the fantasy realm? I mean... I am a writer. Most of the stories I have written here are true. A few are not. They may contain some true details but beyond that I guess the rest would go into the fantasy realm. Not that I necessarily want those things to happen but sometimes my mind just wanders. How can I get it to wander more?

I also think perhaps the reason I don't tend to have a lot of fantasies is because if I feel like doing something, I just do it. I don't give it much though beforehand. I just go for it and see where it goes.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Thanks!

 

[Jada59]

That's very interesting and also very perceptive. I have fantasies all the time with many specifics. Sometimes I have variations on the same fantasies but they are always detailed. I don't talk to men about my fantasies much, so I don't know how common all of the above is with other men. But it seems likely that I am not unique or alone.

When i talk to women I am involved with they are sometimes compliant about role playing my fantasies. But fantasies don't seem to be ever a song thing with them. Mild fantasies about specific guys they would like to fuck, some quasi rape fantasies, and so on. But it never seems to be a big thing.

Thanks!

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

Thanks!

I have always been surprised by the nebulously sensual terms in which most women desribe their fantasies to me. On the other hand, I’ve been surprised by the men who’ve told me they could simply eye-fuck a woman, in a restaurant, say, then go home and get off on her. Me, I have to at least have a conversation with someone, have to at least convince myself that there is a possibility of fruition, before I can proceed. After which, I often get so wrapped up in the details that I fall alseep before anything happens. I think it has less to do with me being a man than it has to do with my mildly OCD personality.

 

[Jada59]

I have always been surprised by the nebulously sensual terms in which most women desribe their fantasies to me. On the other hand, I’ve been surprised by the men who’ve told me they could simply eye-fuck a woman, in a restaurant, say, then go home and get off on her. Me, I have to at least have a conversation with someone, have to at least convince myself that there is a possibility of fruition, before I can proceed. After which, I often get so wrapped up in the details that I fall alseep before anything happens. I think it has less to do with me being a man than it has to do with my mildly OCD personality.

Ooooh. The eye fuck. I can do that. Instant orgasm. Yep.

Unless he is creepy. I once asked this guy to dance. He was a dead ringer for Robin Zander of Cheap Trick.

Once we hit the dance floor, it all turned creepy. He had my hand in a death grip and his eyes went from eye fuck to crazy. Somehow I managed to maintain eye contact as I said, "Okay... You're on something. Let's go sit down". I walked him back to his table and thankfully, he forgot about me.

 

[twister947]

In my experience, getting fantasies out of women is akin to wringing water from stones. Either they don't fantasize, or are unwilling/unable to talk about them.

But then, there's Erica Jong.

 

[jakelc]

I’ve had this exact discussion with my wife recently and her reply was that she doesn’t have fantasies she has ideas she hasn’t carried out yet. She’s always been very open when we talk about sex but when it comes to fantasies it’s like she doesn’t have any or prefers to keep them to herself and share them when she can make them a reality.

 

[Joe_Bob_Gautama]

That's very interesting and also very perceptive. I have fantasies all the time with many specifics. Sometimes I have variations on the same fantasies but they are always detailed. I don't talk to men about my fantasies much, so I don't know how common all of the above is with other men. But it seems likely that I am not unique or alone.

When i talk to women I am involved with they are sometimes compliant about role playing my fantasies. But fantasies don't seem to be ever a song thing with them. Mild fantasies about specific guys they would like to fuck, some quasi rape fantasies, and so on. But it never seems to be a big thing.

A somewhat different perspective has occurred to me: women may not always be clear, in fantasy, about WHO they want to do, but have a very good idea of WHAT they want to do. I once shared an office with a woman with whom I’d recently begun an affair, and one day she came into the office with a yellow inter-office envelope. It contained one of her thongs and a Susie Bright erotica anthology. She handed me the thong, saying “Here’s something for you to cut your teeth on.”

Then she opened the book and pointed out to me a story comprising incessant anal sex. “You should give that a read,” she said. And I did, and we did. Apparently, anal sex was not, to her mind, in conflict with her marital fidelity. Go figure. This was a big, planned thing. . . .

 

[Jada59]

In my experience, getting fantasies out of women is akin to wringing water from stones. Either they don't fantasize, or are unwilling/unable to talk about them.

But then, there's Erica Jong.

Ah... I think I tried to read something of hers years ago. Apparently it wasn't very memorable. Thanks!

 

[Jada59]

A somewhat different perspective has occurred to me: women may not always be clear, in fantasy, about WHO they want to do, but have a very good idea of WHAT they want to do. I once shared an office with a woman with whom I’d recently begun an affair, and one day she came into the office with a yellow inter-office envelope. It contained one of her thongs and a Susie Bright erotica anthology. She handed me the thong, saying “Here’s something for you to cut your teeth on.”

Then she opened the book and pointed out to me a story comprising incessant anal sex. “You should give that a read,” she said. And I did, and we did. Apparently, anal sex was not, to her mind, in conflict with her marital fidelity. Go figure. This was a big, planned thing. . . .

Interesting.

 

[Jada59]

I’ve had this exact discussion with my wife recently and her reply was that she doesn’t have fantasies she has ideas she hasn’t carried out yet. She’s always been very open when we talk about sex but when it comes to fantasies it’s like she doesn’t have any or prefers to keep them to herself and share them when she can make them a reality.

Thanks!

 

[SissySalina]

sissy is in a different boat.
She says that Her Fantasies are Her ideas and future plans so sissy is not allowed to hear them since they may entail things for sissy.
Then the other hand where She says that sissy's fantasies must be told to Her so She can fit them into sissy's life.

 

[twister947]

It occurs to me that the question of fantasies might bear more results if phrased differently: "Where does your head go when you're rubbing one out?" Same idea, different context. Maybe...

 

[Soraya1]

Although I don't think men have more fantasies than women, but I do think that men are more likely to be willing to tell about theirs than women are. Also, I think women's fantasies are more likely to be longer and much more detailed than men's. Many of us enjoy the build-up as much as the last act... at least I do.