Falling in Love or Sex?

[Calibetsy]

I would like to know if it is possible to fall madly in love with someone have crazy wild sex and then live your life independantly from them. I love falling in love. I love kissing and exploring and taking time getting to know someone. Then I want to have fun wild incredible sex. But I still want to be free to go my own way and do my own thing. My partner is free to do the same but I would like to get together at least once a week. Then when the time is right go our ways again. Is this possible? Are there guys out there that could do that? Are there other women out that who could do that? Are there any guys or girls in Hamilton ON who could do that and who like BBW's? Or is it not possible to have sex when your in love with someone and then walk away. I would love to hear what others think.

 

[Keyan]

I don't know if it's possible, i think i could possibly do it.. it would depend on the woman i'm with.. but that's just me..

 

[MickSweet1]

Is it possible?

Deleted.

 

[Guttergoddess]

My Bf and I have that sort of relationship...we are "able" to meet with others if we so choose...currently...neither of us so chooses. However we live seperate lives for 2 weeks...then spend an incredible weekend together...then seperate again. It's not ideal..but it works for us. We are both fiercly independant...and I honestly believe that even if it were not a matter of work keeping us apart, if I could move back to PA permanently...we'd still keep seperate houses.

 

[nikkiblue]

I could.No problem.Sex is easy.Love is messy.

 

[Keyan]

Nikkiblue, do you really believe that? do you really think love is that messy of a thing? i've learned it can hurt, but in the long run it is so worth it.. just my 2 cents..

 

[michaelinteas]

I would like to know if it is possible to fall madly in love with someone have crazy wild sex and then live your life independantly from them. I love falling in love. I love kissing and exploring and taking time getting to know someone. Then I want to have fun wild incredible sex. But I still want to be free to go my own way and do my own thing. My partner is free to do the same but I would like to get together at least once a week. Then when the time is right go our ways again. Is this possible? Are there guys out there that could do that? Are there other women out that who could do that? Are there any guys or girls in Hamilton ON who could do that and who like BBW's? Or is it not possible to have sex when your in love with someone and then walk away. I would love to hear what others think.

That would be the perfect situation.

 

[nikkiblue]

Nikkiblue, do you really believe that? do you really think love is that messy of a thing? i've learned it can hurt, but in the long run it is so worth it.. just my 2 cents..

Love is a headache,It is NOT worth it.You cant see a situation for what it really is in love.Sex is easier and much better without love.Love makes you do stupid things.

 

[justmark]

Love makes it all worthwhile.I love sex,even without love.But to be able to make love with a woman I am in love with?That is beyond hot for me.

 

[pink]

Love is a headache,It is NOT worth it.You cant see a situation for what it really is in love.Sex is easier and much better without love.Love makes you do stupid things.

i do agree love colors things and makes it more complicated but when it's working good, there's nothing like it.

 

[nikkiblue]

Yes,BUT it rarely works.Not worth it.Sorry,just the way I feel

 

[Calibetsy]

Oh Nikki

Yes,BUT it rarely works.Not worth it.Sorry,just the way I feel

I don't know you and I wouldn't think of making a generalization about anyone but I hate to see anyone unable to believe in love. The reason I feel the way I do is because I'm alone. I'm also in love with someone, who I can't make love to. So to fulfill a need I have sex with someone else and because of who I am inevitably I wind up falling in some kind of love with them. But it still doesn't negate the fact that I am in love with someone else.

 

[Calibetsy]

If the last reply...

If that last reply confused you just think about how I feel.

 

[Guttergoddess]

Betsy...your situation makes sense to me...and I feel bad for nikki too....love is such a WONDERFUL feeling...whether it's lasting...or fleeting.

 

[it_matters]

Every love song or song of love lost, or story or play, since the beginning of time, has walked the same line. You have to shake your head, and open your arms, and let the world be rocked...

Personally -- and while a lot of women might say "oh, wow", it definitely has its down sides -- sex only happens for me when there is a real connection with my partner. The sex act is a communion (much better than a little glass of sweet wine in church, friends), and when the connection isn't there, it is the most painful emptiness available.

If there's no connection, how do you surrender, how does your heart open? And if your heart doesn't open, how does your body soften? If the body doesn't soften, can you really be touched, be changed by your meeting? Can you ever have a real, deep and satisfying orgasm?

I think all this confusion is beautiful, because it is so real. Look, every act of lovemaking is a potential child! Now that is surrender. And it's the only real creation of which we as humans are capable... that's when we are used by life, by something perfect, to create something greater than ourselves.

So as far as my heart can make it out, there are only two possibilities: close yourself against possible hurt, and the world turns cold around you; or open yourself to be taken over by love, to possibly -- I mean almost certainly -- be destroyed when that person departs through fear or disease or age.

It sounds perverse -- a lot more perverse than the sexual variations that float around this forum -- but that ache -is- the love. They aren't different. The unbearable loss -is- the love. I have similar story to MickSweet's, down the thread não és minha companheira, és?, but the way it is inside of me... that hole is my hole, that love is my love. It isn't inside of her, it is inside of me, and in that indirect way I can see just how much love I have to give...

again. Soon.

 

[MickSweet1]

Deleted.

 

[it_matters]

It_Matters ... you speak to me like no other. I hear your words and relate. For love is wonderul. In my sharing above, there is a hole in my heart ... never to be filled again ... and you're right ... that ache IS the love. And I would never trade it for it. That 'hole' reminds me that love is and can be great. Like was once said by a great soul ... it is better to have loved and lost as to have never loved at all. I believe that with every ounce of my being. And although the 'hole' shall remain, my heart will never be closed to love ... without love ... all kinds of love ... what is there?

Without love...? Despair.

For me that ache is like an arrow pointing at a place where I may still be closed. Big neon sign: RIGHT THERE, BABY, CRACK THAT SUCKER OPEN. Just as a massage therapist hits the muscle that won't be released, and it feels like sweet hell, you just tell him or her -- that's it, that's it -- dig in there!

I can't wait until my next glorious defeat.

 

[OceanGoddess]

Without love...? Despair.

For me that ache is like an arrow pointing at a place where I may still be closed. Big neon sign: RIGHT THERE, BABY, CRACK THAT SUCKER OPEN. Just as a massage therapist hits the muscle that won't be released, and it feels like sweet hell, you just tell him or her -- that's it, that's it -- dig in there!

I can't wait until my next glorious defeat.

Would you please stop writing what I'm thinking? Thanks.



Seriously, this has left me somewhat speechless, so I'll just say:


Amen, my brother.

 

[Calibetsy]

Be still my beating heart. Good Lord ItMatters I would say with your view on love everything truly does matter. Whomever left that hole in your heart has no idea what she has truly lost. I think the ultimate gift to find from life would be a partner who felt that way about me. To those who will truly love you in return. they will share an intimate universe that incases only two.

 

[it_matters]

Be still my beating heart. Good Lord ItMatters I would say with your view on love everything truly does matter. Whomever left that hole in your heart has no idea what she has truly lost. I think the ultimate gift to find from life would be a partner who felt that way about me. To those who will truly love you in return. they will share an intimate universe that incases only two.

I think the hole in the heart is deeper than my recent (long-term) lover... wouldn't be right to blame it on her, and I don't . If I hear her correctly, she feels she has left/lost the love of her life... one truth among many truths. We definitely shared that intimate space... and many other spaces. One wise friend said -- there are life cycles to everything, just look around at the world. Why should relationship be different? And some last until the end of a life; others last til the end of love.

There is a beautiful snowfall outside the window tonight, little cool ashes of summer dreams piling up on the ground, making the entire world black and white with memories... soft memories. Did you know, some seeds require the winter freeze and spring thaw to mature? Some hearts as well.

 

[Calibetsy]

I hope

I think the hole in the heart is deeper than my recent (long-term) lover... wouldn't be right to blame it on her, and I don't . If I hear her correctly, she feels she has left/lost the love of her life... one truth among many truths. We definitely shared that intimate space... and many other spaces. One wise friend said -- there are life cycles to everything, just look around at the world. Why should relationship be different? And some last until the end of a life; others last til the end of love.

There is a beautiful snowfall outside the window tonight, little cool ashes of summer dreams piling up on the ground, making the entire world black and white with memories... soft memories. Did you know, some seeds require the winter freeze and spring thaw to mature? Some hearts as well.

I hope someday that your heart heals enough to let you to allow someone new into your heart. I would hate for that one person to miss out on you.

 

[it_matters]

I hope someday that your heart heals enough to let you to allow someone new into your heart. I would hate for that one person to miss out on you.

Thank you, Calibetsy. I make it sound so dire, but it isn't ... I am right at the edge of spring, and am already poking my head up, smelling all the good scents around me! Don't know if I am uncrazied enough for that One Right Person (Next Right Person?) to be obvious to me... but some good people, yes. I know I am coming to this period, a little bit older than I was a whiiile ago, with a great blend of love and sex. Hope I have learned something about choosing and being chosen by good partners, as well... I think so!