F*** off - alternatives

[scheherazade_79]

How to people insult each other in your neck of the woods? I'm getting bored with the bog-standard "fuck off", and was wondering what I could learn from the international community of the AH.

There aren't all that many insults in the Welsh language. If you get angry with someone, you usually tell them to either go away or go to the devil.

However, if you get REALLY bloody furious with someone, the standard Welsh insult is to tell them to go and scratch their sphincter.

Don't ask me why. It's just the way we do things over here

Does anyone else out there have any local insults they'd care to share?

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Around here a standard seems to be "I got your <whatever> right here" While pointing to your crotch. used almost exclusively by men

 

[china-doll]

Around here a standard seems to be "I got your <whatever> right here" While pointing to your crotch. used almost exclusively by men

That's used around here except here you have to catually grab your crotch. It's such a classy gesture.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Most of the local insults would be in Portuguese. I'm not so sure they would work if I tried translating them.

 

[Guest]

Up yours, you fucking wanker/tosser/twat/cunt.

Bugger off.

Sod off.

Piss off.

And many more besides.

Lou

 

[Bandit1]

Here are a few samples of local put downs and insults.:

Get bent.

Take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

Kiss my ass.

Hey look, Needledick the bug-fucker rides again!

I'd beat you stupid but obviously someone already has.

Eat Shit!

And it's companion

Eat Shit and die Motherfucker!

Or if one is dealing with a Hispanic:

Tu Madre! (your mother!)

A man is trying to insult a woman:
(I would NEVER do this one)

Here's 5 bucks, go buy yourself a flea collar and leave me alone

or

*tosses the woman a nickle, dime or quarter*
Here, give your next three customers a prepaid blow job

 

[carsonshepherd]

My personal favorite: Go fuck yourself.

 

[Guest]

You can stick that where the sun don't shine!

 

[R. Richard]

I normally just ask politely: "Why aren't you out pimping for your mother?"

 

[LadyJeanne]

Suck my left tit.


That one was from college; companion to the guys', Suck my dick.

Dunno why it had to be the left one.

 

[Huckleman2000]

I had a friend from Syria, and when a subject like this came up once, she told us that an Arab insult (which sounded vaguely Orcish when spoken) translated as "My foot in your mother's vagina".

Whoa.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Suck my left tit . . . Dunno why it had to be the left one . . .

The one furtherest from the heart.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

If you're a guy, I've heard:

"Speak to me through this tube"

with an accompanying crotch grab.

 

[Guest]

Not one to spout insults without due provocation, my favorites are in resonse to:

"You motherfucker!"
Well, keep your mother off the streets.

"Fuck You."
You'd never go back to your blow up doll.

"Eat me!"
I don't like vegetables.

"Suck my dick."
Go get it back from your mama.

 

[Bandit1]

Not one to spout insults without due provocation, my favorites are in resonse to:

"You motherfucker!"
Well, keep your mother off the streets.

"Fuck You."
You'd never go back to your blow up doll.

"Eat me!"
I don't like vegetables.

"Suck my dick."
Go get it back from your mama.

ROFL Good ones!

 

[Lisa Denton]

I'm about ta rip your head off and spit down your throat!!!!

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I'm fixin to stomp a lake in your ass.

Big one back home

 

[tolyk]

You know, I don't really know any local insults.. I'll do a bit of 'researching' and get back to ya..

I tend to use my wit and tell people to go fuck themselves without actually saying it, tends to be effective because you accomplish two things at once: Confuse them, and insult them.

 

[Edward Teach]

Fuck you and the horse you rode up on!

Almost spilled my beer when I heard a woman say the following to a guy hitting on her in a bar:
So you fly a lot, huh? I'll bet you could fly a kite.


Stup Dity

 

[pop_54]

Is that you own brain, or are you trying it out for an idiot.

 

[EmeraldKitten]

I don't know about the area, but my top 3 favorites are:
(And you hear one or all of these come out of my mouth everyday, LOL.)


"Fuck way off."
"Rot in hell."
"You should have been drowned at birth."

"Inbred rednecks" is also a favorite, in describing people of this town.

(Oh, the 'Rot in hell' one is usually spoken after the phone rings at work. )

 

[BlackShanglan]

Sometimes it's all in the delivery, I guess. My own invective is shamefully unoriginal, but when I tried to think of better I could only remember that the cruelest thing I've ever heard anyone say to another human being was actually simply "excuse me." The words were spoken by someone "cutting" someone else very publically and very deliberately when the unlucky individual was attempting to introduce a friend, apparently with the belief that his own company was a welcome presence. He'd approached in a sort of puppyishly good-natured and jovial way and was cut absolutely dead; just a cool "excuse me" as the speaker turned away and affected to have no idea who he was. Painful even to see.

 

[Bandit1]

Ever since I heard it in a bar in Wyoming this has been one of my favorites.

"I am gonna go find me a cactus. And when I do, I'm gonna give you a sudden and intense need for some Preparation H"

 

[Kassiana]

This thread reminds me of this joke.

Three women were sitting together bragging about what their husbands were doing for them. The first said proudly, "My husband noticed I was feeling a little down last week so he dropped everything and took me on a cruise to the Bahamas for four days. I just got back today."

"That's nice," responded another woman.

The second cleared her throat and spoke as well. "I had been wanting a ring, but no one seemed to have the style I wanted. My husband flew me to Africa, where I picked out the diamond, then to the Netherlands, where I found the perfect designer, and now here's the ring!" The ring she displayed had a flawless three karat diamond in the center.

"That's nice," said the same woman.

The other two now looked at her expectantly. She cleared her throat and began her story. "MY husband sent me to finishing school."

The women stared at her, then at each other, until finally one piped up, in an attempt to show interest, "Well, dear, what did they teach you there?"

She gave them a big friendly smile. "They taught me to say 'that's nice' instead of 'fuck you.'"



Incidentally, I knew someone who used to say "Bless your heart!" to his students, but I saw one day when he said it to one of them on the phone, hung up, and called her a bitch. So I guess "bless your heart" can be a handy swear for some people.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Not really local, but I've heard immigrants around here say "I'm gonna fuck your mother!"

Which sounds pretty lame when it comes from an 8-year-old boy...

Us Swedes, who are not familiar with insulting someone by insulting his/her family, usually just look stupid and answer something along the lines of "Oh, but I don't think she'll want to, she's very much in love with my father..."