Exploring the other team

[BrokenPoet]

I've always been a straight guy. Growing up I had occasional moves toward men and small bouts of crossdressing, but it wasn't until recently that I really started to think more about it and get really turned on.

Lately I've been getting off to a LOT of transexual porn and think more and more about sucking cock. An old friend of mine with whom I rarely speak has become a crossdresser, and seeing him dressed up in his pictures on Facebook have me sort of wanting to be dolled up and treated like a slut by some dominant guy or transexual. I can't really go to my girlfriend for help, she's not anti-gay but she isn't the least bit turned on by guy/guy stuff.

So I guess I'm not entirely sure what I'm wondering "how to" do...maybe I'm wondering how I can accomplish these fantasies, where I would even meet people with whom to do these things.

 

[pplwatching]

So I guess I'm not entirely sure what I'm wondering "how to" do...

It's one thing to have these fantasies, but it's another entirely to choose to go behind your girlfriend's back and explore them without her knowledge and consent. Monogamy is a choice, and if it's a choice that you and she have made together then in my humble opinion you owe it to her to either keep up your end of the bargain or let this relationship go so she can find a man who is willing to be who she expects him to be ethically. She deserves that much. Once you are free of romantic entanglements, then you can decide how to move in whichever direction suits your tastes and desires.

 

[Lasciel]

It's one thing to have these fantasies, but it's another entirely to choose to go behind your girlfriend's back and explore them without her knowledge and consent. Monogamy is a choice, and if it's a choice that you and she have made together then in my humble opinion you owe it to her to either keep up your end of the bargain or let this relationship go so she can find a man who is willing to be who she expects him to be ethically. She deserves that much. Once you are free of romantic entanglements, then you can decide how to move in whichever direction suits your tastes and desires.

I agree, the first thing you need to do is decide whether exploring your new desires is worth giving up your relationship with your girlfriend. How long have you two been together/how serious are you?

 

[In Anticipation]

I've always been a straight guy. Growing up I had occasional moves toward men and small bouts of crossdressing, but it wasn't until recently that I really started to think more about it and get really turned on.

Lately I've been getting off to a LOT of transexual porn and think more and more about sucking cock. An old friend of mine with whom I rarely speak has become a crossdresser, and seeing him dressed up in his pictures on Facebook have me sort of wanting to be dolled up and treated like a slut by some dominant guy or transexual. I can't really tell my girlfriend, she's not anti-gay but she isn't the least bit turned on by guy/guy stuff.

So I guess I'm not entirely sure what I'm wondering "how to" do...maybe I'm wondering how I can accomplish these fantasies, where I would even meet people with whom to do these things.

You ought to at least talk to your girlfriend about it. I've come to learn that I really don't want to be with someone I need to hide stuff from.

You're not asking her to join in are you?

 

[BrokenPoet]

My girlfriend and I have been together for just over a year now and we're quite close. We understand that each of us will probably have certain desires that we can't necessarily fulfill together and are thus open to the occasional deviation from monogamy. No, I won't expect participation from her, I know it's not her sort of thing. Apologies for not explaining our relationship in the original post.

 

[bobinks2]

If your girlfriend is under the impression that she is in an exclusive relationship with you, you need to tell her about this. Your girlfriend needs to know that you are planning to have sex with men. Your and her risk of contracting STIs and STDs changes when you start having sex with men and she deserves to know about it.

FWIW, a few months ago, a porn star contracted HIV. At the time, there were a lot of articles written about it. One of the articles stated that men who have sex with men are 44 times more likely to contract HIV than people who don't have sex with men who have sex with men. (They didn't give references or site the source of that statistic.) In any event, she has a right to know about this.

 

[BrokenPoet]

I guess I wasn't clear enough. I have no intentions of hiding any of this activity from my girlfriend. She will know exactly what is going on, she just won't be participating I plan on being as Safe as possible in the event that I pursue this at all.

 

[SweetErika]

I guess I wasn't clear enough. I have no intentions of hiding any of this activity from my girlfriend. She will know exactly what is going on, she just won't be participating I plan on being as Safe as possible in the event that I pursue this at all.

So what's the issue, then? Places to meet other guys and transseexuals/t-girls abound. I don't know where you are, but if you can get to a larger city, your best bet may be a sex-positive/BDSM group/club w/ men's events. There's a huge safety advantage in playing at a club vs. with some random guy in a private location - in any reputable club, if you call the universal safeword (which is usually "safeword") and your partner doesn't stop, people will intervene to keep you safe in a matter of seconds. In a private location, you could be looking at assault, robbery, or worse.

Absolutely DO NOT agree to sex in a car or any kind of public location. It's not uncommon for police to run sting operations in an effort to deter this, and you could end up with an arrest as well as a sex offender status. I'd also strongly advise you to avoid sites like Craigslist, where no one really has to put much into posting. You'd be much better off on a site that forces people to create a fair profile and/or allows you to check out people via their posting history.