Experimenting with girlfriend

[BicMan]

I talked to my girlfriend about having someone else, and about watching her with another girl. She has never had an experience with another girl and neither one of us had much experience outside this relationship.

We are not really sure how to even go about inviting someone else into this. With friends it could get very awkward and with a stranger they could be dirty. I am just curious how others might handle this.

We are not even positive we would want to do it, but the fantasy of it turns me on a lot, and her as well.

 

[BicMan]

I guess I should clarify, because I know there are posts in the Blank Manual that do somewhat deal with this. However I wanted to start a new thread because it was specifically for a girl to watch us, and for a girl to pleasure her. I wouldn't touch the other girl...main problem is...we'd be using the other girl basically to turn each other on. So how does one go about doing this...especially with someone you know?

Because I'd be scared to do it with a stranger as would she...just with all the STDs out there and such. But we'd also really like it so after it's over, it's over and we aren't going to see that person ever again....catch 22 I suppose....anyone ever been in a similar situation though?

 

[Guest]

I guess I should clarify, because I know there are posts in the Blank Manual that do somewhat deal with this. However I wanted to start a new thread because it was specifically for a girl to watch us, and for a girl to pleasure her. I wouldn't touch the other girl...main problem is...we'd be using the other girl basically to turn each other on. So how does one go about doing this...especially with someone you know?

Because I'd be scared to do it with a stranger as would she...just with all the STDs out there and such. But we'd also really like it so after it's over, it's over and we aren't going to see that person ever again....catch 22 I suppose....anyone ever been in a similar situation though?

There is a "looking for a third" thread on Hmmmm I think it's the BDSM Cafe.

 

[BicMan]

Thanks, I just read that thread. That's surprising to me that there aren't more females out there willing to partake as many other members stated in that thread.

It didn't really address approaching a friend for something like this though...it's not really a permanent thing or attached part of the relationship. More just asking them to sit in on a session and watch....or do some playing with the girlfriend. Having someone we trust being the person added in this situation would really be a plus, but handling the aftermath and the approach would be very difficult. On the same token, like I said having some mystic person swoop in....be part of our play...and then dissappear never to be seen again would be nice too so there would be no possible aftermath.

 

[wicked woman]

check this out Having a threesome

 

[SweetErika]

I know there are women who would be willing to participate in the scenario you described, but frankly, you need to ask yourself what's in it for her? She watches, pleasures your gf, and gets lost...that's not a very appealing proposition to most women.

You'll likely have a much easier time if you expand your search to include couples. The couple could watch you, both men will have their FF fantasy fulfilled, and the woman would get satisfaction out of playing with her own partner. If you decide to go through with this, you may want to check out swinging websites, forums, and personals.

Needless to say, this might be better left as a fantasy, and you two need to talk extensively outside of the bedroom about the reality and every possible impact it could have on your relationship.

 

[BicMan]

Already read the having a threesome thread but thank you.


I was thinking about what you mentioned SweetErika about what is in it for the other girl. That I am not sure about. We haven't discussed that part really. This is a fairly new topic and we are NOT going to rush into it because I know it could end our relationship...and a sex fantasy is definitely not worth ruining this relationship.

I think personally I'd have problems with another guy watching thinking about it right now...and I don't think she'd want to really pleasure the other girl...so as you said maybe this will be best left as a fantasy. Either that or we need to talk more like you said.

 

[SweetErika]

Already read the having a threesome thread but thank you.


I was thinking about what you mentioned SweetErika about what is in it for the other girl. That I am not sure about. We haven't discussed that part really. This is a fairly new topic and we are NOT going to rush into it because I know it could end our relationship...and a sex fantasy is definitely not worth ruining this relationship.

I think personally I'd have problems with another guy watching thinking about it right now...and I don't think she'd want to really pleasure the other girl...so as you said maybe this will be best left as a fantasy. Either that or we need to talk more like you said.

How about getting a webcam and hooking up with a woman or couple online? You'll get the thrill of being watched and you can even chat about it afterwards, without the complications.

 

[BicMan]

Thanks for the advice. I hadn't considered the webcam idea. I know there are sites like adultfinder that you need to sign up for membership, are there any free ones other than just trying to randomly find people on IRC? Also I guess a concern of that would be the person sharing the webcam video with other people. Sorry if these are newbie questions, I've modded on another bulletin board for years and know it can be frustrating. I couldn't find anything specific to this situation though.

 

[rakastuja]

I know there are women who would be willing to participate in the scenario you described, but frankly, you need to ask yourself what's in it for her? She watches, pleasures your gf, and gets lost...that's not a very appealing proposition to most women.

Just the point.

"Come and become a sex object for us. Satisfy this inexperienced girl who is not necessarily even totally sure if she would like you. While you do it a guy watches you and jerks off. After that: get lost."

Sorry about the caricatyrism but thats sometimes how it sounds. I have heard quite many (well... what is quite many?) threesome suggestions and hardly any has anything that would appeal me. I mean most of them expect that I should just enjoy having sex with stranger, inexperienced girl while her man watches.

I think best way to make it happen would be just to get known with a girl and building a fantasy that appeals all three instead of trying to find a girl that would just want to fullfil fantasy of you two.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for the advice. I hadn't considered the webcam idea. I know there are sites like adultfinder that you need to sign up for membership, are there any free ones other than just trying to randomly find people on IRC? Also I guess a concern of that would be the person sharing the webcam video with other people. Sorry if these are newbie questions, I've modded on another bulletin board for years and know it can be frustrating. I couldn't find anything specific to this situation though.

I have no clue about the webcams, but I know some here do it, so hopefully they'll be able to give your more info. You could probably post a personal ad stating what you want to do and talk to the woman/couple first. Another idea might be phone sex...you could put the woman on speaker phone or she could talk to each of you while the other performs oral sex or something. Good luck!

 

[BicMan]

I have no clue about the webcams, but I know some here do it, so hopefully they'll be able to give your more info. You could probably post a personal ad stating what you want to do and talk to the woman/couple first. Another idea might be phone sex...you could put the woman on speaker phone or she could talk to each of you while the other performs oral sex or something. Good luck!

Thanks for the ideas and bump for a response on the webcam part.

To rakastuja, I don't really understand why you are so bitter with your reply. I merely posted this because I was curious if people had past experiences. I would never use a person and take advantage of them. I realize that the other person that would be involved is an actual human being with wants, needs and feelings. Don't be so quick to assume that I'm an asshole. I was merely explaining where my girlfriend and I are coming from in terms of our IDEAL situation. I realize the ideal situation probably would never ever happen. Just felt like I needed to respond to that.


Anyhow anyone with info or past experience with the webcam route please share

 

[rakastuja]

To rakastuja, I don't really understand why you are so bitter with your reply.

I wasnt bitter. Ok.. I wasnt in best mood either but honestly Im not thinking anything about you. I just sometimes get in quite sarcastical/cynical tone.

Just trying to give you an idea where the average "couple seeking for girl" goes wrong in my opinion.