Experiences Swinging

[MrsKingky]

Swinging is a subject that's come up in a conversation with someone I'm very close to but is still a tricky for me. My fear would be that feelings would develop and I would lose that person (especially when we haven't met under the most innocent of terms). A very good friend explained it to me and it's definitely helped but as someone who is naturally jealous and possessive it's a hard concept to get around. If I was involved in it, say a threesome, I would find that easier but for some reason the swinging gets to me.

So I'm basically on the search for people who have experienced swinging, what they thought of it and what their relationship was like with their partner after. Do you ever feel insecure that they're thinking about the other person when they shouldn't be? Do you have any after care like in BDSM?

I'd really like to hear your experience. I'm not looking for a good story to get off too so please don't try to turn me on

Thank you

 

[Leigh81]

We've never actually did any swinging (yet) but have done the hot wife thing (not for me) & I've had a few FF encounters. Currently were in a triad type relationship that includes a GF of mine.
First you should role play & share fantasies before ever taking the leap. Any insecurities whatsoever is not a good thing. You have to establish rules & stick to them.
Now we are discussing about possibly getting involved with a couple we met who moved into our neighborhood last spring. We've talked many times over the last few months as they're intrigued with our situation. The woman is very bi curious & the only thing that's happened up to this point has been kissing & light touching between her, my GF & I while my/her husband watched. That was almost 2 weeks ago, then this past weekend the 5 of us went to Sexapalooza. Afterwards nothing at all happened. I actually like that nothing happened because both them & us don't want to rush things. If they showed any kind of aggressiveness it would never happen.
There is alot more to swinging than just sex. For me it's all about being comfortable with how I feel about myself.
The hot wife thing eventually made me feel really crappy about myself. I questioned my husband's love & felt I shit on my marriage vows. With another woman I don't have any negative feelings. I'm pretty sure swinging with this couple will be alright. They have their heads on straight, not pushy & there is great communication. We've become really good friends & I don't want to ruin that. We'll see what happens going forward. I really like that we all click & that there is no awkwardness between us. I don't want sex to take over this friendship.
The relationship between the 3 of us in our house isn't based on sex, if it was it would of ended long ago.
Probably some of this is off topic. The key though is the strength of the relationship you're in now.

L

 

[MrsKingky]

Thank you for replying. You're message was actually just what I was looking for

 

[bibethhotwet]

My husband and I have been swingers for most of our marriage. I was bisexual when I met him and he accepted my needs. This evolved into 3 somes and later my first experience with two men. We have been in nearly every sexual combination one can think of. That being said, swinging is not for every one. We have seen the postive as well as negative side.

As the previous poster said. Roll play. Whatever situation turns you on and go from there. If you feel ready to make the next move..take it slow. Be confident in yourself and one another.

As I said, swinging works for us and we both LOVE the lifestyle. But for many, monogamy is the only way and nothing wrong with that either

 

[SCcouple1990]

We certainly aren't experts on swinging, but we have been to a swingers club, and had a few encounters with couples and single males.

I think you have to have a solid and loving relationship and good communication before you start. There was lots of talking and roll play before we ever started. We set our rules and have stuck with them.

It took a long time before we took the step. We have had some good experiences and some that were duds. Even with the duds we have managed to have fun with each other.

Remember that fantasy is often better than reality. While you may have a fantastic time, it may not be as good as you built up in your mind. Also, remember that no matter how much you talk and prepare, things don't always go as planned, things can happen in the heat of the moment you had not discussed.

For us it is just sex, there is no emotional attachment to the other couple/single involved. However, we have only had one couple and single as repeat partners.

I think most people will have insecurities about a lot of issues, playing with someone new who is essentially a stranger is no different.

For after care, sex together after is important for us, and has always been more satisfying than with our play partners.

Communication is the key, and swinging is not a cure all for relationship issues.

Good luck to the two of you.

 

[Pennyshub]

My wife and I have tried it. I feel if either of you are having feeling of reservations or jealousy your not ready. Role play and Fantasy are great, but when you make it reality it's with you forever. Take it slow be sure of what you both want and be sure to be vocal about any feelings of uncertainty. Be safe and I wish you well.

 

[MrsKingky]

Thank you for all your responses! It's definitely been a help to hear from other people. I'm not ready so I'm putting it on hold. Thank you for all your help

Mrs K