exhibitionism and offending...

[subspirited]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, its connected though not necessarily directly to do with BDSM. I was thinking about exhibitionism in general and especally when instructed to do something by a Dom but one thing about it kept bugging me in relation to myself, id really like an opinion on it, how would you feel and what would it make you think if an unattractive rather chubby woman of about 18-25 flashed you in public? or was just generally being slutty...and is there any way to pull of looking slutty without offending others?
Many thanks

 

[Shankara20]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, its connected though not necessarily directly to do with BDSM. I was thinking about exhibitionism in general and especally when instructed to do something by a Dom but one thing about it kept bugging me in relation to myself, id really like an opinion on it, how would you feel and what would it make you think if an unattractive rather chubby woman of about 18-25 flashed you in public? or was just generally being slutty...and is there any way to pull of looking slutty without offending others?
Many thanks

The problem with directed/forced flashing in public is that not everyone is giving consent. Forced exhibitionism is great fun if it is contained to play parties or sex clubs where encountering naked people is not totally out of context. Flashing someone in the general public in a place it is unexpected troubles me, and I am an exhibitionist of the highest order - as long as ALL people involved have given some form of consent I say go for it, but if there is anyone involved that is going to be shocked by it don't do it.

 

[reignophelia]

.....

 

[Lamont Cranston]

Two Cents Worth

A few thoughts. First, the when and where have to be appropriate. A quick flash in passing cars -- what the heck? Other places / other situations, it depends but could be offensive, dangerous or illegal. If someone was in the position to give you an order to do it I would hope that person was responsible enough to pick an appropriate time and place. (And that you were smart and careful enough to agree that it was before even thinking about doing it.)

Your body image issues -- based on your post -- might be something a Dom / PYL (but I hate that term) wants you to get over and if they do it right it can be a good thing for both of you.

Bottom line, both of you need to have a reason for doing it and it needs to be done with safety in mind. Given how you phrased the question it would seem to be very important that you've gotten to know each other very well before something like this is done.

The result could be great if you've taken the time and effort to know each other. It could be horrible if you just did it for the wrong reasons, in the wrong place, at the wrong time or for the wrong person.

Be careful, be smart and you can still have fun.

 

[BiBunny]

The problem with directed/forced flashing in public is that not everyone is giving consent. Forced exhibitionism is great fun if it is contained to play parties or sex clubs where encountering naked people is not totally out of context. Flashing someone in the general public in a place it is unexpected troubles me, and I am an exhibitionist of the highest order - as long as ALL people involved have given some form of consent I say go for it, but if there is anyone involved that is going to be shocked by it don't do it.

What Shanky said. SSC--Safe, Sane, and Consensual--applies to EVERYONE involved, not just you and the Dom. You need to have the consent of the people you're flashing. Or risk getting arrested for indecent exposure.

 

[Marquis]

Pick your targets.

I don't care what you look like, you'll be hard pressed to find an unaccompanied male who'll call the cops on you.

Be prepared for a variety of reactions.

 

[Etoile]

I would be totally unappreciative. I like a nice rack as much as the next dyke, but if I didn't ask to see it, I don't want to see it. It's actually probably the kind of thing that I would speak up about - I don't normally say something when somebody's being an ass in public, but if they're flashing me, then I'll tell them I don't want to see it. As has been said, in a sex-related club it's expected. If I walk into such a place, I know that I might see boobies, and I'm okay with that. But on the street? No way, not cool.

 

[FurryFury]

It's not about body image IMO. Kink groups tend to not care about that. That's work YOU need to do for YOU and perhaps your PYL.

I am absolutely against flashing the general public and such without consent. Your and / or your PYL's kink is not something they need or want to be exposed to. It's not funny. It's not sexy. It's just rude.

That's my opinion.

 

[Marquis]

For god's sakes people, it's just a pair of tits.

 

[Etoile]

For god's sakes people, it's just a pair of tits.

SHOW US YER TITS MARQUIS

 

[Marquis]

SHOW US YER TITS MARQUIS

http://pic18.picturetrail.com/VOL877/2803812/5632597/187183591.jpg

Anytime, beautiful.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm not one to get up in arms about anyone flashing unless there are children around, and/or they seem to be doing it as an extension of something more sinister in their character. Regardless, I don't rush for the nearest phone to report it as I think there are far more important things for police etc., to be chasing after. I tend to see people who are flashing as part of their exhibitionist taste to be more fun than anything, and it would be so great if the world was more into fun than killing or dogging on each other. Being flashed does not harm me...if anything, it gives me something to giggle about throughout the day.

For my taste, the best type of exhibitionism are the times when it is not necessarily planned by the one showing. for example if a partner cheekily lifts a skirt quickly to show a flash of bare butt. Also those times when you don't intend to flash but it happens such as the time I went out with my partner of the moment in a shortish dress with nothing underneath as has been the norm for me for decades...we went into a bakery to buy something and I leant over to check out something on the bottom shelf and then felt a breeze where it shouldn't have been. I jumped up and spun around at the same time to see an elderly couple just stepping up onto the pavement from the pedestrian crossing outside, both with huge grins and a thumbs up.

Catalina

 

[Shankara20]

For god's sakes people, it's just a pair of tits.

good point - forget my last post and go for it

[ramble]
I'll be down at the mall flashing my little ol pee pee if anyone is trying to find me....


Come to think of it, we are wound tight here in the good 'ol U.S of A about naked bodies and after 4 years back in Kansas my San Francisco way of being might just be fading in to the background. I just get a little messed up in my head when players working out a scene involve folks that do not know what is being played out - and this from a guy that will drive around naked at times. So pay me no mind at all - and this appears to be getting rather easy of late anyway.


[/ramble]

ps - subspirited, I'd be thrilled to be flashed by you any time any place and I don't think it would be slutty. If you asked me to wank on your naked boobies I call that slutty and I'd do it and I'd say "Thank you very much"

 

[Netzach]

I would be totally unappreciative. I like a nice rack as much as the next dyke, but if I didn't ask to see it, I don't want to see it. It's actually probably the kind of thing that I would speak up about - I don't normally say something when somebody's being an ass in public, but if they're flashing me, then I'll tell them I don't want to see it. As has been said, in a sex-related club it's expected. If I walk into such a place, I know that I might see boobies, and I'm okay with that. But on the street? No way, not cool.

Yes, thank you.

It's not liberating, it's not shocking, it's just classless.

My opinion.

Which means it probably fits in FINE at a bar on a saturday night. I've made people do awkward things when there aren't random children or people just trying to have their coffee and get to their shitty jobs.

 

[graceanne]

If my kids weren't with me, and someone flashed me I wouldn't call the police. But I would not be pleased. I would not make a snotty comment, because I'm not like that, but you might get flipped off.

If my kids were with me, I'd be VERY unhappy. I probably still wouldn't call the police, but you might get your ass chewed. More for involving my children in your kink, not so much cause of the nudity. I don't particularly have a problem with nudity. I sleep naked, my children are welcome in the bathroom with me, and my bedroom when I'm changing. I don't want my kids to get the idea that nudity is wrong. *shrugs*

 

[SubKekiLee]

I agree

What Shanky said. SSC--Safe, Sane, and Consensual--applies to EVERYONE involved, not just you and the Dom. You need to have the consent of the people you're flashing. Or risk getting arrested for indecent exposure.

I agree with both Shanky and Bunny said... I do not think that public play liek that is appropriate I think if your into public play take it somewhere it can be appriciated or do it inconspicoulously as a mom I wouldnt want my children exposed to that type of thing just like they do not know how kinky I really get but I feel thats my business.. If you did it somewhere at me most of the time I do apppriciate a beautiful person showing me themselves but not unwarranted.. If you know what I mean..

 

[Etoile]

If you did it somewhere at me most of the time I do apppriciate a beautiful person showing me themselves but not unwarranted.. If you know what I mean..

I have a couple of questions for you SKL if you don't mind?

First, you specified a beautiful person. Would you feel differently about a homely person? I don't think you meant it in a snobby way, I think you were just envisioning that particular scenario - but what about someone who wasn't beautiful?

Also, you said "but not unwarranted" - what does that mean? Is it about "not for no reason," or "only if we're flirting," or something else?

Thanks!

 

[SubKekiLee]

Anwsers..

I have a couple of questions for you SKL if you don't mind?

First, you specified a beautiful person. Would you feel differently about a homely person? I don't think you meant it in a snobby way, I think you were just envisioning that particular scenario - but what about someone who wasn't beautiful?

Also, you said "but not unwarranted" - what does that mean? Is it about "not for no reason," or "only if we're flirting," or something else?

Thanks!

Sure Etoile No problem..
1st. I think no matter who it was my definition of beautiful isnt the same as most people cause I do not look at the cover of a book and judge it.. so I guess I meant no matter who it was Im appricative of it if it is warrented and in a place where it is appriopriate..
2nd. As for my comment about unwarranted , I guess that would mean if I were with my children or with someone who I wouldnt want to know about my love life Ie: My parents, My grandparents family who doesnt know or need to know. If someone is flirting with me I do not belive that you need to show it all it wil be known and you can do little things to let people know I do not think you need to show everything to everyone alot left in the mind is a better thing..

Does that anwser your questions? I do not want to offend anyone here..

 

[HottieMama]

If my kids weren't with me, and someone flashed me I wouldn't call the police. But I would not be pleased. I would not make a snotty comment, because I'm not like that, but you might get flipped off.

If my kids were with me, I'd be VERY unhappy. I probably still wouldn't call the police, but you might get your ass chewed. More for involving my children in your kink, not so much cause of the nudity. I don't particularly have a problem with nudity. I sleep naked, my children are welcome in the bathroom with me, and my bedroom when I'm changing. I don't want my kids to get the idea that nudity is wrong. *shrugs*

My thoughts exactly. i love the human body..in all of its variations. No problems with nudity or sexuality for that matter, but i would prefer to make the CHOICE to view it as opposed to just having bare tits in my face. And just as i do not expose my children to situations involving stranger's nudity, i would appreciate it if others didn't either.

If your Dom is doing this to help you get over some body issues, i completely understand that, and that's a good thing. i just feel there are better ways to go about it.

That said...i have flashed a trucker or two on the 101 a few yrs ago which was a hell of a lot of fun...

 

[Marquis]

I don't flash people but I do occasionally make obscene faces and gestures at people in the supermarket.

My favorite targets are uptight schoolmarm types, women with fake tits in spaghetti strap shirts, girls in spandex pants with large writing on the ass, men who give me the stink eye for no reason and anyone who stares for too long.

 

[Netzach]

I don't flash people but I do occasionally make obscene faces and gestures at people in the supermarket.

My favorite targets are uptight schoolmarm types, women with fake tits in spaghetti strap shirts, girls in spandex pants with large writing on the ass, men who give me the stink eye for no reason and anyone who stares for too long.

I want to make sweats that say "look at my ASS" in gothic script across the bum. And then make H wear them, perhaps.

 

[Marquis]

I want to make sweats that say "look at my ASS" in gothic script across the bum. And then make H wear them, perhaps.

Ha ha, I considered making sweats that say

LOOK: ASS


I'll let you know if that goes into production.

 

[Etoile]

Sure Etoile No problem..
1st. I think no matter who it was my definition of beautiful isnt the same as most people cause I do not look at the cover of a book and judge it.. so I guess I meant no matter who it was Im appricative of it if it is warrented and in a place where it is appriopriate..
2nd. As for my comment about unwarranted , I guess that would mean if I were with my children or with someone who I wouldnt want to know about my love life Ie: My parents, My grandparents family who doesnt know or need to know. If someone is flirting with me I do not belive that you need to show it all it wil be known and you can do little things to let people know I do not think you need to show everything to everyone alot left in the mind is a better thing..

Does that anwser your questions? I do not want to offend anyone here..

It does answer my questions, thank you! I would also add that you should never worry about offending people here. You have as much right to state your opinion as everyone else!

 

[Netzach]

Ha ha, I considered making sweats that say

LOOK: ASS


I'll let you know if that goes into production.

Even better, more succint.

 

[JMohegan]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, its connected though not necessarily directly to do with BDSM. I was thinking about exhibitionism in general and especally when instructed to do something by a Dom but one thing about it kept bugging me in relation to myself, id really like an opinion on it, how would you feel and what would it make you think if an unattractive rather chubby woman of about 18-25 flashed you in public? or was just generally being slutty...and is there any way to pull of looking slutty without offending others?
Many thanks

Personally I'm a fan of the "don't involve unwitting others in your kink" general rule.

Nevertheless, flashing of body parts (male or female) is pretty far down there on the list of public behaviors that I find truly objectionable. Most of the items on the top of that list are things done by kids over whom no adult seems to be exerting effective control.

As an aside and speaking of kids, my suggestion to any parent faced with a flasher when kids are in tow would be to treat this as a teachable moment.... i.e., how *not* to react to something that is clearly a harmless and silly attempt to provoke.