Ex Girlfriends twin sister revenge sex

[loquere]

Kelly is a sexy overachiever whose made a success of herself, being promoted as the youngest partner in her law firms history. After the big promotion her boyfriend Mark whose also a lawyer at the firm, takes her out to dinner to celebrate.

Kelly surprises Mark by breaking up with him. Then criticizes him for his lack of achievement/ambition. She belittles him, stating how he's four years older than her but is going no where in the firm. Not only that she lets him know that the firm never plans on making him a partner.

The firm thinks Mark isn't focused enough on making the firm money. Mark does pro-Bono cases on the side for disadvantaged people, outside his work hours, instead of going to high society events to network for new clients, something Kelly does well.

Marks friends take him out drinking a few nights later at a college bar in hopes of getting Mark to hookup with a college girl, to bring his spirits up. However they spot who they think is Kelly, & they plan on leaving. Mark knows better & instantly recognizes Chloe, Kelly's twin sister who is a Professor at the college.

Chloe comes over to console Mark, Chloe after all hates her sister. Marks friends leave after awhile, leaving Mark & Chloe to drink the night away. Eventually Mark walks Chloe home, she invites him up for coffee, secretly just wanting to fuck him so she can throw it in her sisters face, Mark declines at first finding it awkward, but Chloe kisses him pulls him upstairs where they have sex.

Chloe ignores Marks calls and texts after he tries to reach her over the next few weeks, she feels awkward about the hookup & says nothing to her sister like she had surely planned prior. One day one of Chloe's students a black girl is wrongly arrested in a protest, Mark doesn't hesitate to help her even though she ignored him. Chloe's amazed by his selflessness, she apologizes and asks for another chance, Mark rejects her and accuses her of being a user of people just like her sister, after all everything Kelly knows as a lawyer she learned from Mark.

Chloe is hurt that Mark would think that she's like her sister, after all Chloe's a humanitarian, a selfless volunteer whose traveled the world helping others. Chloe tries to convince Mark he's wrong about her, but after constant rejection and growing feelings/love for him she eventually gives up, & starts ignoring him again. The plan to ignore him fails after Mark quits the firm and becomes a law professor at the same college as Chloe.

 

[GuessImJamie]

On our phone your description is 62 lines. A 5 line average was 7 words per line so you have about 454 words already. Jeez add some details maybe start with a short "hook" of M&K discussing the firm's impending "announcement" in bed before/during/after sex. Explain beyond pride why M wants K. Then detail of M&C's hook-up. Add a short 'teaser.' Maybe a fondly remembered M&C scene about why C wants M. It wasn't to rub K's nose in it or she would have and moved on, and her desire a second time at end. There is Chapter One right there.

Chapter two: something unsavory happens at work to K and she really wants M back. But no, M&C are trying to make a go of it. That just makes K want M more. M tries to get back at K for dumping him by making her second to C who eats it up because big sis was parents fave even though SHE (C) always did the RIGHT thing.

So many places this could go.

 

[loquere]

On our phone your description is 62 lines. A 5 line average was 7 words per line so you have about 454 words already. Jeez add some details maybe start with a short "hook" of M&K discussing the firm's impending "announcement" in bed before/during/after sex. Explain beyond pride why M wants K. Then detail of M&C's hook-up. Add a short 'teaser.' Maybe a fondly remembered M&C scene about why C wants M. It wasn't to rub K's nose in it or she would have and moved on, and her desire a second time at end. There is Chapter One right there.

Chapter two: something unsavory happens at work to K and she really wants M back. But no, M&C are trying to make a go of it. That just makes K want M more. M tries to get back at K for dumping him by making her second to C who eats it up because big sis was parents fave even though SHE (C) always did the RIGHT thing.

So many places this could go.

I thinks it's been four years since I've written a story, it's going to be hard for me to get started. Thank you for the compliment & encouragement though.

 

[KindredFlame]

Kelly is a sexy overachiever whose made a success of herself, being promoted as the youngest partner in her law firms history. After the big promotion her boyfriend Mark whose also a lawyer at the firm, takes her out to dinner to celebrate.

Kelly surprises Mark by breaking up with him. Then criticizes him for his lack of achievement/ambition. She belittles him, stating how he's four years older than her but is going no where in the firm. Not only that she lets him know that the firm never plans on making him a partner.

The firm thinks Mark isn't focused enough on making the firm money. Mark does pro-Bono cases on the side for disadvantaged people, outside his work hours, instead of going to high society events to network for new clients, something Kelly does well.

Marks friends take him out drinking a few nights later at a college bar in hopes of getting Mark to hookup with a college girl, to bring his spirits up. However they spot who they think is Kelly, & they plan on leaving. Mark knows better & instantly recognizes Chloe, Kelly's twin sister who is a Professor at the college.

Chloe comes over to console Mark, Chloe after all hates her sister. Marks friends leave after awhile, leaving Mark & Chloe to drink the night away. Eventually Mark walks Chloe home, she invites him up for coffee, secretly just wanting to fuck him so she can throw it in her sisters face, Mark declines at first finding it awkward, but Chloe kisses him pulls him upstairs where they have sex.

Chloe ignores Marks calls and texts after he tries to reach her over the next few weeks, she feels awkward about the hookup & says nothing to her sister like she had surely planned prior. One day one of Chloe's students a black girl is wrongly arrested in a protest, Mark doesn't hesitate to help her even though she ignored him. Chloe's amazed by his selflessness, she apologizes and asks for another chance, Mark rejects her and accuses her of being a user of people just like her sister, after all everything Kelly knows as a lawyer she learned from Mark.

Chloe is hurt that Mark would think that she's like her sister, after all Chloe's a humanitarian, a selfless volunteer whose traveled the world helping others. Chloe tries to convince Mark he's wrong about her, but after constant rejection and growing feelings/love for him she eventually gives up, & starts ignoring him again. The plan to ignore him fails after Mark quits the firm and becomes a law professor at the same college as Chloe.

I like the sisters angle and I wish you well with this project. I am not sure what I could add to your idea because I don’t know much about the law firm side of the story. But is that the important part of the story or not?
Good luck with it. KF

 

[loquere]

I like the sisters angle and I wish you well with this project. I am not sure what I could add to your idea because I don’t know much about the law firm side of the story. But is that the important part of the story or not?
Good luck with it. KF

No the law firm is not important, I considered multiple settings & backgrounds. If someone else chose to write it they could change it. This just worked for me.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I thinks it's been four years since I've written a story, it's going to be hard for me to get started. Thank you for the compliment & encouragement though.

What? That's at least two fucking chapters. You basically wrote a quarter of a story synopsis of an idea... pretty much the beginning of writing it.

 

[loquere]

What? That's at least two fucking chapters. You basically wrote a quarter of a story synopsis of an idea... pretty much the beginning of writing it.

I might give it a try this weekend.

 

[LWulf]

I don't really go for the "instantly recognizes Chloe" angle. For that to be, he would have been looking CLOSELY at Chloe to compare her to Kelly, all while dating Kelly. My point is, that much concentration being directed at someone else, the relationship would have faltered long ago.

I mean after a little while, I would agree, but "instantly???"
I could totally dig a "Kelly, what are you doing at... Wait... Chloe?" as being more believable.

Also, they are twins or just look-alike sisters? Because it takes, on average, seven years after high school to become an accredited lawyer, "4 years of undergraduate study, followed by 3 years of law school."

If they are twins, then they should be the same age, but then why is Chloe still in college after 7 years? It starts making her look like Chloe is the dumb Dora, while Kelly has all the smarts. You make the reader automatically sympathetic to Chloe, instead of Mark.

 

[loquere]

1. Chloe is University/College Professor as I stated in the quoted line below. She teaches students, she isn't a student, so she isn't in college she works for the college.
"Mark knows better & instantly recognizes Chloe, Kelly's twin sister who is a Professor at the college."

2.Instantly recognizable because she would be dressed uniquely different given her different character, yes they are identical but they can work to appear different. Hair colour earring makeup lipstick.

3.Kelly & Chloe are both 30, Kelly has been a lawyer for 5 years, Chloe has been a Professor for 2 years, with 6 years after undergrad to earn a masters degree & a PHD, her PHD will be from the UK, OXBRIDGE.

4.Mark is is 34 he's been practising law for 7 years, before starting at the firm for two years he clerked for the Chief Justice of the state Supreme Court while completing a masters of law which took two years. I may make him 35 instead.

I don't really go for the "instantly recognizes Chloe" angle. For that to be, he would have been looking CLOSELY at Chloe to compare her to Kelly, all while dating Kelly. My point is, that much concentration being directed at someone else, the relationship would have faltered long ago.

I mean after a little while, I would agree, but "instantly???"
I could totally dig a "Kelly, what are you doing at... Wait... Chloe?" as being more believable.

Also, they are twins or just look-alike sisters? Because it takes, on average, seven years after high school to become an accredited lawyer, "4 years of undergraduate study, followed by 3 years of law school."

If they are twins, then they should be the same age, but then why is Chloe still in college after 7 years? It starts making her look like Chloe is the dumb Dora, while Kelly has all the smarts. You make the reader automatically sympathetic to Chloe, instead of Mark.

 

[LWulf]

1. Chloe is University/College Professor as I stated in the quoted line below. She teaches students, she isn't a student, so she isn't in college she works for the college.
"Mark knows better & instantly recognizes Chloe, Kelly's twin sister who is a Professor at the college."

2.Instantly recognizable because she would be dressed uniquely different given her different character, yes they are identical but they can work to appear different. Hair colour earring makeup lipstick.

3.Kelly & Chloe are both 30, Kelly has been a lawyer for 5 years, Chloe has been a Professor for 2 years, with 6 years after undergrad to earn a masters degree & a PHD, her PHD will be from the UK, OXBRIDGE.

4.Mark is is 34 he's been practising law for 7 years, before starting at the firm for two years he clerked for the Chief Justice of the state Supreme Court while completing a masters of law which took two years. I may make him 35 instead.

Sorry, I missed the part where you said she is a professor. I don't usually miss such details which I'll attribute to aging.

I'd still quibble over "instantly recognizing," but you seem less interested in ideas, and more interested in other people bolstering your self worth.
Good luck with your concept.

 

[loquere]

Sorry, I missed the part where you said she is a professor. I don't usually miss such details which I'll attribute to aging.

I'd still quibble over "instantly recognizing," but you seem less interested in ideas, and more interested in other people bolstering your self worth.
Good luck with your concept.

Hey, you get me!

 

[loquere]

Quickly realized that it wasn't Kelly could work. Instead of instantly.

 

[loquere]

I think I could be interesting to drop the twin sister angle, & make it her brother instead so a bisexual story.

 

[TornadoTys]

Kelly is a sexy overachiever whose made a success of herself, being promoted as the youngest partner in her law firms history. After the big promotion her boyfriend Mark whose also a lawyer at the firm, takes her out to dinner to celebrate.

Kelly surprises Mark by breaking up with him. Then criticizes him for his lack of achievement/ambition. She belittles him, stating how he's four years older than her but is going no where in the firm. Not only that she lets him know that the firm never plans on making him a partner.

The firm thinks Mark isn't focused enough on making the firm money. Mark does pro-Bono cases on the side for disadvantaged people, outside his work hours, instead of going to high society events to network for new clients, something Kelly does well.

Marks friends take him out drinking a few nights later at a college bar in hopes of getting Mark to hookup with a college girl, to bring his spirits up. However they spot who they think is Kelly, & they plan on leaving. Mark knows better & instantly recognizes Chloe, Kelly's twin sister who is a Professor at the college.

Chloe comes over to console Mark, Chloe after all hates her sister. Marks friends leave after awhile, leaving Mark & Chloe to drink the night away. Eventually Mark walks Chloe home, she invites him up for coffee, secretly just wanting to fuck him so she can throw it in her sisters face, Mark declines at first finding it awkward, but Chloe kisses him pulls him upstairs where they have sex.

Chloe ignores Marks calls and texts after he tries to reach her over the next few weeks, she feels awkward about the hookup & says nothing to her sister like she had surely planned prior. One day one of Chloe's students a black girl is wrongly arrested in a protest, Mark doesn't hesitate to help her even though she ignored him. Chloe's amazed by his selflessness, she apologizes and asks for another chance, Mark rejects her and accuses her of being a user of people just like her sister, after all everything Kelly knows as a lawyer she learned from Mark.

Chloe is hurt that Mark would think that she's like her sister, after all Chloe's a humanitarian, a selfless volunteer whose traveled the world helping others. Chloe tries to convince Mark he's wrong about her, but after constant rejection and growing feelings/love for him she eventually gives up, & starts ignoring him again. The plan to ignore him fails after Mark quits the firm and becomes a law professor at the same college as Chloe.

Pretty good base idea to start out with.