Ever get that "Not-so-smooth" feeling?

[Smooth_Operator]

Heaven help me, I'm posting at Literotica about real life emotional trauma. But I'm really at an odd point in life, and could use advise/consolation/ridicule/something/anything. Most of my friends are of little use in this matter, as they are too close to me and the other person involved to be objective (not to mention that their opinions conflict on the matter).

So I'm 26, and only a year ago I split with my ex whom I started seeing at 19. We lived together for about 5 years. We seperated not because we didn't get along with or love each other, but because of some irreconcilable differences. She's a few years older than I am, and is intent on having kids immediately, whereas I am just not ready. She's a very religious person, and my lack of participation in organized religious services is a problem. Though both of us were willing to compromise our stances to remain together, we came to the conclusion that these things were just too important to be compromised for a relationship, and that sooner or later one of us would end up regretting something missed in their life. Much as it hurt to give her up, I'd never allow her to live a life with me that didn't fulfill her dreams.

Like I said, a year has gone by. She moved to the other side of the country, and I stayed put. We talk nearly daily, and have visited with each other several times since the move. She has had a few dates set up for her by friends in that year, but never had any interest in the men she met. Likewise, I've had my own opportunities to "get back out there", but not really felt capable of it yet. For that reason, it almost felt like the door was still open in some ways; like we could still change our minds and reunite because neither of us had truely totally moved on.

That is, until now. I recently heard from her that she is now for the first time interested in someone else. This is a moment I had been waiting for a long while now. I know this is a good thing for her. The fellow sounds like he could give her exactly the things I wanted so much for her have and which I felt unable to give. I am definitely genuinely happy for her. Also, tho, I feel like someone has put my heart and my head in a blender and hit "Frappe".

I'm totally trollin here (think that's the proper word for it). I need perspective, and I need it badly. Have I made a collosal mistake? Do I just ride it on, and hope time eases the pain? Anyone ever been through anything like this?

 

[Dessert]

I think you should probably let time heal the pain. Just remember why you split up. If you reconciled, wouldn't the problems remain? I know it's hard to watch someone you love move on, but would it really be fair to jeopardize what she has found? It sounds like she is finally moving on, and it must've been really difficult for her to reach this stage.

Just my humble opinion. If you don't like it, disregard it (it IS only 2 cents afterall). Hope everything works out okay.

 

[Mischka]

Have I made a collosal mistake?

You'd be making a collosal mistake if you tried to get back together with your ex. You're feeling the pain and confusion of an era of your life firmly ending, and it sucks. You made the right decision, though, and now that she's healed enough to move on, it's time for you to do the same. I don't mean that you have to rush out and find a date by week's end; you can now prepare yourself for the next chapter of your life, whatever that may hold.

Good luck.

 

[Guest]

I feel for you. my husband of 18 years and I split for 7 months last summer. we reunited and after 4 months of "honeymoon" bliss everything has returned to the same despite my efforts. so really eventhough this is a painful time for you hang in there. time does heal.

 

[Nora]

we came to the conclusion that these things were just too important to be compromised for a relationship, and that sooner or later one of us would end up regretting something missed in their life. Much as it hurt to give her up, I'd never allow her to live a life with me that didn't fulfill her dreams.

Reread that and you have your answer, honey. And I'd like to add that you shouldn't allow YOURSELF to live a life that doesn't fulfill YOUR dreams, either.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

I've been there a couple of times myself....and even though you probably don't think so right now, a little ways down the line, when you've met someone else that is important to you, you will look back and remember the good things about your ex, and smile, knowing that everything works out for the best in the end.

Just get out with some friends....spend time with others...and try to keep your mind off it for now.