Euphemisms for sex

[mrjdoedevil]

I was listening to a song by the Bloodhound Gang today and it made me wonder just how many euphemisms there are for sex....

So the premise is simple....throw some out there. The more creative the better. I'll plagiarize a few to get things started

1. Vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet
2. Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten
3. Powerdrill the yippee box with the dude piston

 

[Daizie]

Knockin boots is my fave.

 

[BlondeAndBlue]

Play "Hide the Trouser Snake"

 

[daylightwarrior]

Laying pipe by the mile.

 

[lovemonster]

Doing the horizontal tango

 

[toys_em_us]

Riding the poked up Cowboy

 

[toys_em_us]

Eating at the "Y"

 

[a.j.angel]

Doing the nasty.

 

[toys_em_us]

Bushwacking

 

[Daizie]

Gettin' busy

 

[daylightwarrior]

Breakfast in bed.

 

[Taste]

Parking your car in her garage.

Dick dancin'.

Plowing the field.

 

[Daizie]

Bumping uglies
Playing hide the salami/baloney

 

[SecretLove69]

Having a snack at the Snatch Shack with an order of thighs and cream pie for dessert.

 

[daylightwarrior]

Having a snack at the Snatch Shack with an order of thighs and cream pie for dessert.

That's going to be hard to top.

 

[virgin_not]

Euphemisms for Masturbating

Normalizing the vector
Germinating the Phallus hadriani
Performing recuperative therapy on the reproductive organ
Exhibiting perfectly normal behavior
Mx where M is masturbating, and x is a person.
Measuring cyclical friction
Rotating the drive head
Spanking the Cebus capuchinus
Preparing the monologue
Attempting self-fertilization*
Applying right-hand rule to P-bar*

 

[virgin_not]

Come on. “Coitus.” “Coooooitus.” “Co-i-tus.”

*your garage is open*

 

[virgin_not]

In and out

do it

 

[virgin_not]

Penis Euphemisms!

Camel rider

Ace in the hole

Anal intruder

Baby's arm in a boxing glove

Bald butler

Dingledong

Flesh cigar

Flesh Enema

I loved this thread!

 

[SecretLove69]

That's going to be hard to top.

Top it with some whipped cream......that always goes well for dessert.


Take a dive in the deep end of the pleasure pool.


Insert Tab A into Slot B

 

[virgin_not]

who want some clam chowder soup?

Scraping off the scabs

Two-finger tango

 

[SecretLove69]

Put some hot sauce on the taco

 

[daylightwarrior]

Ride the bologna pony.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Bumping uglies
Playing hide the salami/baloney

I was going to say bumping uglies. I've always thought that was such a weird way to put it. I mean... ugly?

I've never heard that one, hide the salami. lol

 

[virgin_not]

Euphemisms For Impotence

180 degrees shy of heaven

Performing with Flacido Domingo

A few parts shy of an erector set

Sch-wing and a miss
Not rising to the level of impeachable offense

The Null Monte

Disappointing Miss Daisy

Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics

Ascension Deficit Disorder

Bouncing the Check of Love

Less-than-Magic Johnson

All Doled up with nowhere to go

Welcome to Flaccid City. Population: You

Serving boneless pork

Unleavened Man-Bread