Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

[T.H. Oughts]

NEW WORDS FOR 2002 -

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of pounding the sh!t out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

 

[Orwell84]

LMAO!

 

[Autumn1]

NEW WORDS FOR 2002 -

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of pounding the sh!t out of an electronic device to get it to work again.


OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

I'll adopt these.

I didn't see you in my office.

 

[penguindance]

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Re: Re: Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

I didn't see you in my office.

It's not your office I wanna be in.

 

[Jonnyray]

For all of you with local-national government jobs...

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium".

Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isotopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

 

[mig]

Re: Re: Re: Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

It's not your office I wanna be in.

I've told her about her spelling.

The word should,of course,be orifice.

 

[Throbbin_Rod]

Love the new Av T.H.