Eroticism and Sexuality

[dr_mabeuse]

There is a difference, but what is it?

Dracula is erotic but not sexual. Deep Throat is sexual but not erotic. There are countless other examples:

Crotchless panties are sexual, not erotic. Seamed stockings are erotic without being sexual.

It's a distinction every lover has to be able to make, of he or she is in trouble. Erotic relationships last, sexual ones don't.

Fucking is sexual. Kissing is erotic.

The erotic seems to engage the emotions. It seems to draw on a kind of shadowy power that includes elements of fear and danger as well as the potential for ecstasy. The difference between a great story and a run-of-the-mill hack job is often that one is erotic while the other, merely sexual.

It's a good difference to know.

 

[Belegon]

One of my favorite comments I've ever received on my writing was from a beta reader telling me that a scene of the female protagonist dancing by herself was very erotic despite not being a sex scene. *grin* I loved that .

 

[Tricialen]

You have it perfectly....it's a shadow power but I think that not everyone has it or lets it flow...something as simple as a woman brushing her hair or powdering her nose...can be very erotic...but not sexual...the eroticism is as much of a part of person as breathing...but not for everyone.

 

[impressive]

While I take exception to your terminology, I think I understand the concepts you're trying to delineate. It has to do with reflex versus consciousness. When we're provoked to react, it's base. When our intellect is engaged, things become more subtle and more worthy of higher order beings.

However, I don't think the concepts are mutually exclusive. An act (or a story) can be both sexual and erotic. For that matter, it can be erotic to me and sexual to you, both to a 3rd person and neither to a 4th. Good erotica, IMO, is both to the largest audience.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Watching a woman powder her nose is intensely sensory-- I can feel the sweep over that silky skin, as if I were the puff. Yeah.. that's pretty erotic!

Erotic, sexual-- I always had a hard time telling the two apart. If it was erotic, I wanted to act on it.

It's taking a long time to learn the differences. I still don't much. Seamed stockings are erotic because they lead to something, yanno? Crotchless panties frame what's important...

 

[penandpaper]

A person can actually grow a fetish, dependent upon how many times they view it and in what context they view it in. I think the same could be true for these definitions. To a young kid, kissing is purely sexual. To my wife and I it's erotic. Same thing, two different perceptions; this one age dependant. Another example might be stockings: to a purely hetero woman, one that is not swayed by the other team, they might just be a pragmatic piece of clothing. To a horny man (or woman)- watch out! They exude sexy, and therefore eroticism and sexuality. Again, same thing, two different perception (or three), dependant upon one's sexual preference.

It all just seems very gray to me ( a lot of things these days do ), like trying to nail down the difference between beautiful and sexy. It's a definition you feel inside you that may change depending upon environment, context, and/or feelings.

On a side note, I wonder if there's a test for this? One in which a person declares subtle differences within the definitions of synonyms. Sounds like a fun study to me.

 

[vrosej10]

Applying lipstick can be very erotic (least ways I consider it an erotic act). The difference between erotic and sexual is like that old joke " sexy is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken".

 

[vrosej10]

I saw the most incredibly erotic scene last night without it being sexual. I was watching CSI:Las Vegas and there was a scene where Sarah Sidle shaves Gil Grissom. I steamed up my glasses. Wow was it hot.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I draw the line between sex/erotic at intent to seduce/tease. I draw the line between sport & combat at intent to harm.