Erotic Task List / Rules

[mcgraw33]

Hello, I'm looking for a series of 10 tasks / rules to ask a "true sub" to do. Not directly sexual activities. I'm looking for things like this....

1) Everytime you get your hair cut and your sitting in the wash chair I want you to think about me pulling your hair as your hairs is being pulled. I want you to think about me pushing your legs apart and taking you right there in the chair.

We also have an open relationship, so I thought about something like this...

2) You must ask permission before you may fuck anyone else.

Since she is a Sub, she finds spanking and such highly erotic. Thus what would be true erotic punishment for them? Do spanking provide the punishment if it is enjoyed so much?

 

[CutieMouse]

Hello, I'm looking for a series of 10 tasks / rules to ask a "true sub" to do. Not directly sexual activities. I'm looking for things like this....

1) Everytime you get your hair cut and your sitting in the wash chair I want you to think about me pulling your hair as your hairs is being pulled. I want you to think about me pushing your legs apart and taking you right there in the chair.

We also have an open relationship, so I thought about something like this...

2) You must ask permission before you may fuck anyone else.

Since she is a Sub, she finds spanking and such highly erotic. Thus what would be true erotic punishment for them? Do spanking provide the punishment if it is enjoyed so much?

[snarky comment]There is no such thing as a "true sub". There may be someone who is perfectly compatable with *your* interests, but that does not make them any more, or less, of a submissive, than another person. Relationshps within the realm of BDSM tend to be highly personalized; therefore (IMO) it is almost impossible to quantify "true" submission or dominance, based on some standard formula of activities or behaviours. [/snarky comment]

Communication with your partner, is the obvious "key" to finding out what you will both view as meaningful examples of submission. There are also some fabulous threads in the Library thread pinned at the top of the forum.

Re: your ideas-

The haircut example- I can say *I* don't see it as being mentally submissive thing, although another person might.

The sleeping with others thing is more of a poly issue, IMO, than D/s. (Then again, I seperate those two worlds into their own little boxes.)

If someone sees pain as pleasure, it is rather difficult to incorporate pain into punishment, no?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Dude you can't work out a list of ten tasks for your 'true sub' , you shouldn't have one.

A submissive is waaaaaaaaaaay more responsibilty than your kingkee shopping list

Just a thought.............

 

[mcgraw33]

What I'm trying to identify as a true sub is someone that doesn't switch. Will do exactly what their told without question.... even if they don't like it. Is it a lifestyle for her? No. Outside of the bedroom -- could be. However, I have never tried to excersize control outside of the bedroom. I'm not claiming to be a Dom... in fact, I'm a switch (never hitting true Dom). We're not married, we have common interests and have fun together and it spilled over to the bedroom. I'm mostly trying to find things that would make my presence known when I'm not there... that would continue to allow her to have a seperate life. To cutiemouse's point, I think it's more of a mental thing. I'm want to establish triggers for behavior.

Rebecca - yeah, I'd agree with you.. but we're not looking for the Dom / Sub relationship in it's entirety... perhaps you'd consider it more of a permanent role play?

 

[BiBunny]

Ok, I guess I have to go tell Master that I'm not a true sub now because I switch on occasion. Damn, will he ever be disappointed...and grumpy that HE didn't think of it in the first place.

And I'm not even going to touch "doing whatever you're told without question."

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

What I'm trying to identify as a true sub is someone that doesn't switch. Will do exactly what their told without question.... even if they don't like it. Is it a lifestyle for her? No. Outside of the bedroom -- could be. However, I have never tried to excersize control outside of the bedroom. I'm not claiming to be a Dom... in fact, I'm a switch (never hitting true Dom). We're not married, we have common interests and have fun together and it spilled over to the bedroom. I'm mostly trying to find things that would make my presence known when I'm not there... that would continue to allow her to have a seperate life. To cutiemouse's point, I think it's more of a mental thing. I'm want to establish triggers for behavior.

Rebecca - yeah, I'd agree with you.. but we're not looking for the Dom / Sub relationship in it's entirety... perhaps you'd consider it more of a permanent role play?

Okay because I am feeling all generous this morning and you have fessed up its roleplay here is one ...........

If she wears nail polish that's colored ask her to remove paint from one finger ( say her pinky ) and tell ask her to recall ' Idea X' when ever she looks at it.

The reverse, if she doesn't wear nail polish ask her to paint just one nail in a bright color.

People see their hands and the hands of others day in and day out. Its only a tiny anomaly but it can be maintained in public and mean between you both as little or as much as you wish 'Idea X' to be.

 

[CutieMouse]

Again-

There is no such thing as a "true" submissive or a "true" dominant. There are those who identify strongly one way or the other; there are those who wander back and forth between the two. It sounds like you are interested in what makes someone tick, who identifies as a sumbissive, and has no interest in dominating others. That would make that person a submissive. Not a "true" submissive- simply a person who is submissive. (says the lady who hates lables)

The idea of another doing exactly as they are told, without question, even if they don't like it... that is a world of responsibility very few people are capable of living up to. I must agree with Rebecca- if one needs help finding a list of 10 things to trigger such feeings, one is not ready for a D/s relationship with that degree of depth.

As for mental control- it is quite easy to establish with routines/clothing choices/habits/etc. If one wants to sit inside the other's mind and heart at all times, find ways to tweak the submissive's daily life, to remind him/her of her place. (However I shall add the disclaimer, that controlling another to that degree, is not something to be decided upon lightly- power and submission can be serious mojo.)

 

[myinnerslut]

a few things..
1-i agree with everyone else on the "there is no such thing as a true sub" point, but i think you got the idea so im not going to go on about it anymore

2- what is erotic punishment? play punishment not actually ment to harm her? if so then spanking might by good for if. if it is intented to correct or prevent behavior, stay away from anything she enjoys as a means of punishment

3- ideas: have her tell you when and how she masturbates. give her essay type questions for her like :"what makes you a sub/ why do you submit" or "write about a fantasy of yours" mabye have her wear an anklet or bracelet in public that reminds her of you.

 

[CutieMouse]

Personally, I can't comprehend "erotic punishment" or "play punishment".

I prefer to be open and honest about my masochism- 99% of the time pain = pleasure, and if asked, I'll request more, please.

[To me] Punishment is pain (emotional, mental, or physical) of the not fun/pleasureable kind. Punishment is given to teach an unpleasant (but necessary) lesson, and reign in undesireable behaviour.

Discipline, on the other hand, (in my limited experience) skates a fine line between pleasure and punishment. It teaches/guides/molds, by combining quite difficult activities, with small doses of pleasure. Maybe my misunderstanding is simply an issue of semantics- I can easily find the eroticism in discipline; however, I am totally lost on the concept of punishment being anything other than punishment.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

As far as I can see these are a couple very inexperienced indulging in some erotic roleplay. I doubt even the word 'punishment' itself defines anything that would be more usual in a BDSM sense.

mcgraw33 your getting some excellent advise in this thread. Don't make the mistake of buying into using the jargon if you can help it. Its very loaded as you can see and for more sophisticated reasons individually than perhaps you realised at first.

Have a great time just don't pertain to drag a mantle that doesn't fit over it all and you will save getting people offside in the first place. This I have found makes a good general 'rule' and can apply in any profession or lifestyle. It comes across as disrespectful and I get the feeling that was not your intention.

 

[angel_girl]

Personally, I can't comprehend "erotic punishment" or "play punishment".

I prefer to be open and honest about my masochism- 99% of the time pain = pleasure, and if asked, I'll request more, please.

[To me] Punishment is pain (emotional, mental, or physical) of the not fun/pleasureable kind. Punishment is given to teach an unpleasant (but necessary) lesson, and reign in undesireable behaviour.

Discipline, on the other hand, (in my limited experience) skates a fine line between pleasure and punishment. It teaches/guides/molds, by combining quite difficult activities, with small doses of pleasure. Maybe my misunderstanding is simply an issue of semantics- I can easily find the eroticism in discipline; however, I am totally lost on the concept of punishment being anything other than punishment.

Perfectly stated.

 

[mcgill82ferret]

Hi mcgraw33

I have to say that I'm rather confused by your statment:

I'm mostly trying to find things that would make my presence known when I'm not there... that would continue to allow her to have a seperate life.

If you want your presence known when you are not there then she will not really be having a "seperate" life, will she? It sounds more likely that you wish to be included in her life even when you and her are apart. And that is fine, assuming it is fine with her too. It just seems like you too are more involved in a realationship than maybe you even realize. Farther evidence seems to be that you are spending considerable effort looking for ways to entertain her submissiveness. Again fine, with both your acceptance.

Now more to your question, how about a computer desk top image or cell phone background that is descrete but a reminder of you.

Or maybe something like... pick a washroom that she must pass by occasionaly during her daily activities. Try to arrange for her to be able to go there sometime when you are not far away. During this event, have her go there, masterbate through her underware, and return quickly to where you can check to make sure her panties have been well creamed. She is likely to think of this, somewhat flustered, when she passes that washroom in the future.

Good luck and have (safe) fun!

 

[callinectes]

Personally, I can't comprehend "erotic punishment" or "play punishment".

I prefer to be open and honest about my masochism- 99% of the time pain = pleasure, and if asked, I'll request more, please.

[To me] Punishment is pain (emotional, mental, or physical) of the not fun/pleasureable kind. Punishment is given to teach an unpleasant (but necessary) lesson, and reign in undesireable behaviour.

Discipline, on the other hand, (in my limited experience) skates a fine line between pleasure and punishment. It teaches/guides/molds, by combining quite difficult activities, with small doses of pleasure. Maybe my misunderstanding is simply an issue of semantics- I can easily find the eroticism in discipline; however, I am totally lost on the concept of punishment being anything other than punishment.

Amen!

I can't say it any better.

 

[Dark1ord6669]

Personally, I can't comprehend "erotic punishment" or "play punishment".

I prefer to be open and honest about my masochism- 99% of the time pain = pleasure, and if asked, I'll request more, please.

[To me] Punishment is pain (emotional, mental, or physical) of the not fun/pleasureable kind. Punishment is given to teach an unpleasant (but necessary) lesson, and reign in undesireable behaviour.

Discipline, on the other hand, (in my limited experience) skates a fine line between pleasure and punishment. It teaches/guides/molds, by combining quite difficult activities, with small doses of pleasure. Maybe my misunderstanding is simply an issue of semantics- I can easily find the eroticism in discipline; however, I am totally lost on the concept of punishment being anything other than punishment.

This needs to be put on a card and handed out to newbies (like me ) As they walk in. Among other things...

 

[myinnerslut]

Personally, I can't comprehend "erotic punishment" or "play punishment".

I prefer to be open and honest about my masochism- 99% of the time pain = pleasure, and if asked, I'll request more, please.

[To me] Punishment is pain (emotional, mental, or physical) of the not fun/pleasureable kind. Punishment is given to teach an unpleasant (but necessary) lesson, and reign in undesireable behaviour.

Discipline, on the other hand, (in my limited experience) skates a fine line between pleasure and punishment. It teaches/guides/molds, by combining quite difficult activities, with small doses of pleasure. Maybe my misunderstanding is simply an issue of semantics- I can easily find the eroticism in discipline; however, I am totally lost on the concept of punishment being anything other than punishment.

i agree with what your saying.. i think i worded myself badly (damn semantics ). by "play punishment" i meant a scene in which she does something "wrong" and is then spanked becuase of it, not a real form of punishing someone. an "i've been such a bad girl" kind of scene in which both participants know it is only a scene and not meant to serve as the consequences of an action. in this type of scene, i feel it would be a big mistake to "punish" her in a way that she associates with real punishment, as this cuases lots of confusion.

 

[brigid_fitch]

Since she is a Sub, she finds spanking and such highly erotic.

I liked to be spanked and bound loooong before I realized I was a sub. The two are not the same, however, and one does not always lead into the other as it did with me. Enjoying pain makes one a masochist. Giving up control to another makes one a sub. Be certain she's truly a sub and that you're truly a Dom. It's not all about whaling on someone else with a paddle or giving her little tasks to perform--are you mature and confident enough to accept the control she's giving over to you? And is she really relinquishing it?

If you're just playing, that's fine. But, as someone else already stated, be careful of the terms you use. You really need to sit down and decide if what you're embarking on is just for fun or a real path.

 

[neonflux]

4 peas...

4 peas, a spoonful of mashed potatoes, and all of the ice cream you can eat...

sorry, just couldn't resist, watched Secretary for the 1st time since it 1st came out...

(for those who don't get the reference, James Spader instructs Maggie Gyllenhaal by phone to eat the above at a family dinner)

 

[jadefirefly]

Damn it all. And here I've been telling people I was a sub.

Anyone who expects someone to 'do what they're told without question' isn't looking for a sub, they're looking for a doormat.

Anyone with half a brain will ask, if they're told to do something they don't understand, is a hard limit, or they feel is unsafe.

Sucks to be me. Guess I'll have to go find a new label for myself now.







Aw, crap. Did I forget my snarky tags today?