I had my prostate removed three years ago, and alas, lost ability to have good erections. Since then I've noticed that my fantasies have moved distinctly in the direction of my being more passive. I'm wondering if other men experiencing erectile dysfunction (ED) have also experienced this in their fantasies?
For example, one fantasy is that my girlfriend dominates me, is on top of me, forces me to eat her. I fantasize about anal sex (being the recipient); about my girlfriend strapping on a harness and fucking me with a dildo.
Another change is that pre-surgery, I had no bisexual tendencies, but since then, I've begun to fantasize about sucking a man's cock (something I've never actually done), and having a man suck my cock and fuck my ass. Sometimes, the fantasies actually extend to an anal rape scene, at night, sometimes outdoors, sometimes in my house.
And then there is the combination of my girlfriend and another man: fantasizing about another man wanting to fuck my girlfriend; of a threesome with him dominant, telling me to suck his cock while my girlfriend watches, or while she helps me, knowing that I'm making him hard so he can fuck her. He tells me to go down on her while he watches.
My latest addition to that last fantasy is that he positions himself with her pelvis on his legs, her pussy close to his cock, and tells me to eat her while he watches, then eat him and make him hard, then use my mouth to gently guide his cock into her pussy, and finally, to use my lips to put the head of his penis into her vagina. As he fucks her, I'm to keep them lubricated by tasting her pussy and his cock going in and out of it.
Another variant on the above is that instead of my girlfriend, it is the man's girl, and I'm being told to help him pleasure her in those ways.
I've only mentioned these fantasies a little bit to my girlfriend. She isn't open to the ones involving another man, unfortunately. However, she is open to things just the two of us do, and she did fuck me with a harness on, and it was an extremely erotic experience. She also played out a fantasy of mine where she tied me to a post and then injected me with BiMix (which gives me a partial erection), and then fucked me till I came (I have orgasms but no ejaculation). She also described a dream where I was going down on her while another man was fucking her, and came up with semen all over my face.
The lack of ejaculation has also played into my fantasies. Whereas before the surgery, I didn't consider ejaculation a very big part of sex, it now cums into my fantasies regularly. I like fantasizing about sucking a cock and having the guy cum into my mouth and onto my face.
Since I know of no one with whom to play out such fantasies, nor of a good way to find such people, these have remained in my head only. My sense is that men and women both want hard cocks, despite what they say. Although my girlfriend has said she actually prefers sucking on my soft cock than a hard one, I've heard no one else say that. I've never heard a man describe enjoying sucking on a soft cock, or wanting to try it. And I've certainly never heard of a couple saying they wanted a soft-cock guy join them and be available as a passive partner that they control. I wonder if my passive fantasies aren't a sign of poor self-image rather than the simple sexual things they seem to be?
Any similar experiences with changes in fantasies after erectile dysfunction?
For example, one fantasy is that my girlfriend dominates me, is on top of me, forces me to eat her. I fantasize about anal sex (being the recipient); about my girlfriend strapping on a harness and fucking me with a dildo.
Another change is that pre-surgery, I had no bisexual tendencies, but since then, I've begun to fantasize about sucking a man's cock (something I've never actually done), and having a man suck my cock and fuck my ass. Sometimes, the fantasies actually extend to an anal rape scene, at night, sometimes outdoors, sometimes in my house.
And then there is the combination of my girlfriend and another man: fantasizing about another man wanting to fuck my girlfriend; of a threesome with him dominant, telling me to suck his cock while my girlfriend watches, or while she helps me, knowing that I'm making him hard so he can fuck her. He tells me to go down on her while he watches.
My latest addition to that last fantasy is that he positions himself with her pelvis on his legs, her pussy close to his cock, and tells me to eat her while he watches, then eat him and make him hard, then use my mouth to gently guide his cock into her pussy, and finally, to use my lips to put the head of his penis into her vagina. As he fucks her, I'm to keep them lubricated by tasting her pussy and his cock going in and out of it.
Another variant on the above is that instead of my girlfriend, it is the man's girl, and I'm being told to help him pleasure her in those ways.
I've only mentioned these fantasies a little bit to my girlfriend. She isn't open to the ones involving another man, unfortunately. However, she is open to things just the two of us do, and she did fuck me with a harness on, and it was an extremely erotic experience. She also played out a fantasy of mine where she tied me to a post and then injected me with BiMix (which gives me a partial erection), and then fucked me till I came (I have orgasms but no ejaculation). She also described a dream where I was going down on her while another man was fucking her, and came up with semen all over my face.
The lack of ejaculation has also played into my fantasies. Whereas before the surgery, I didn't consider ejaculation a very big part of sex, it now cums into my fantasies regularly. I like fantasizing about sucking a cock and having the guy cum into my mouth and onto my face.
Since I know of no one with whom to play out such fantasies, nor of a good way to find such people, these have remained in my head only. My sense is that men and women both want hard cocks, despite what they say. Although my girlfriend has said she actually prefers sucking on my soft cock than a hard one, I've heard no one else say that. I've never heard a man describe enjoying sucking on a soft cock, or wanting to try it. And I've certainly never heard of a couple saying they wanted a soft-cock guy join them and be available as a passive partner that they control. I wonder if my passive fantasies aren't a sign of poor self-image rather than the simple sexual things they seem to be?
Any similar experiences with changes in fantasies after erectile dysfunction?
