Epitaphs

[JayJams78]

This may not seem writing related, but it is. Prompts and ideas come from odd, poignant places and moments. Some of mine have been last words, last counsel, consideration if what mine would be, and epitaphs on old gravestones.

So we'll keep this broad. What would your last words, your final advice, or your epitaph be? Bonus points if you can give a pithy, clever epitaph for your headstone. Feel free to share a powerful or amusing one you have heard or read about someone else.

It can be fun or serious, but I'd love to see what you come up with.

 

[JayJams78]

He once was a poet renown,
Now he sleeps in a box in the ground.
With his deep, lengthy lines, it's no wonder
They buried his corpse twelve feet under.

 

[oggbashan]

I wrote mine when I was expected to die - but I'm still here:

Farewell

So what if I am about to die?
I have lived my life and that’s no lie.

I have tried to help my fellow man,
doing what and when I can

Sometimes I have failed, it’s true
Perhaps I had no effect on you.

But I live to the last without regret
Remembering the best til I forget

When I’ve gone, remember me
Until you too cease to be.

 

[Lori_the_Hoosier]

My husband has left instructions that his headstone is to read, in the smallest possible letters so one has to come real close 'whatever you do, don't look behind you...'

One of his ancestors has one of the best ones I've seen so far:

"Here Lies Buried Sir Joshua XXX, faithful and honourable servant of the one true king, His Serene Majesty King Charles, anointed by God to rule this realm and defend the faith against Protestant Uprising, brought low by Bastard Cromwell's bullet. May he arise in the faith and be adjudged a man of faith."

Another one in the family cemetery reads:

'Stranger pause as ye pass by,
For one day soon shalt be as I'.

Hubby always reckoned there should be some kind of law against death threats from beyond the grave...

 

[Handley_Page]

I rather like Spike Milligan's

"See? I told you I was ill"​

 

[windar]

From Boothill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

"Here lies Lester Moore, four slugs from a .44, no Les, no more".

I don't think I can use that on mine, though...

 

[SimonDoom]

Here lies Simon, gone far too soon,
On Lit, they say, he met his Doom.

 

[TadOverdon]

"If you're reading this, I'm probably dead. This is important - you have to find - Agh!

 

[Candy_Kane54]

"Knock! Knock!"

 

[JayJams78]

"If you're reading this, I'm probably dead. This is important - you have to find - Agh!

I'm a Monty Python fan too.... "A killer.... bunny?!"

 

[TadOverdon]

I'm a Monty Python fan too.... "A killer.... bunny?!"

Is that Python, too? I was remembering this old Star Trek episode where Kirk leaves a recorded message for his pals after he died in a battle. LOL

 

[oggbashan]

King George V's reputed last words on being told by his doctors that a rest in Bognor might be appropriate:

"Bugger Bognor!"

Reported last words:

"How goes the Empire?"

 

[oggbashan]

Benjamin Franklin

The body of B. Franklin, Printer,

Like the Cover of an old Book.

Its Contents torn out.

And stripped of its Lettering and Gilding.

Lies here. Food for worms.

But the Work shall not be wholly lost.

For it will as he believ’d

appear once more

In a new and more elegant Edition

Corrected and improved

By the Author.

 

[oggbashan]

BILLY WILDER

I’m a writer
but then
nobody’s perfect

 

[oggbashan]

RUSSELL LARSEN

Two things I love most,
good horses and beautiful
women. And when I die, I hope
they tan this old hide of mine
and make it into a ladies riding
saddle, so I can rest in peace
between the two things I love most.

 

[Wifetheif]

What are you looking at?

 

[oggbashan]

In small print below the wife's name:

If you can read this, you're standing on my boobs.

 

[nonverbalcommunication]

"Hold my beer..."

 

[KeithD]

I actually have one in a published memoir already:

Here lies XXX.
He fought mediocrity
And lost.
But, oh what a fight it was.

 

[JayJams78]

Is that Python, too? I was remembering this old Star Trek episode where Kirk leaves a recorded message for his pals after he died in a battle. LOL

Its not a direct Python quote, but it's close. Definitely a rip off of Python. Here's the scene.

https://youtu.be/ZlIz0q8aWpA

 

[rescatooor]

Epitaphs aren't really a thing in my culture. I have never really considered putting one on my gravestone.

And I don't really see much point in a big gravestone, unless it's a shared one. I might opt for not having one at all. I'm mildly interested in my ashes being planted with a tree.

 

[XerXesXu]

I actually have one in a published memoir already:

Here lies XXX.
He fought mediocrity
And lost.
But, oh what a fight it was.

That'll do.

 

[LAHomedog]

I like Jack Lemmon's real one: "Now appearing in."

Or Billy Wilder's, "I'm a writer, but then nobody's perfect."

 

[SimonDoom]

So, I was swimming in the ocean one day.
And I looked up and said,
"Is that a shar . . ."

 

[ElectricBlue]

So, I was swimming in the ocean one day.
And I looked up and said,
"Is that a shar . . ."

Penguin, mate, a bloody penguin .