Epic Cocks With Names of Renown

[Shendude]

You may or may not be familiar with the common Fantasy conceit of giving famous magic swords names like "Foehammer" and "Goblin-Cleaver". For some bizarre reason, my brain recently started imagining something similar being applied to the cocks of particularly studly men. I have no idea what to do with the idea besides the names, though, and wondered if any of you lot could do something with it.

A sample of the names I came up with:

-Cuntfiller
-Woman-Pleaser
-Assbreaker
-Slut-Splitter
-Maidenslayer
-Virginsfate
-Husbandsbane
-Whore-Maker
-Throat-Gagger

 

[RicoLouis]

LMAO

I have a joke like this that I want to get "The Truth" tattooed on my penis. Because ever woman want The Truth but not ever woman can handle The Truth.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I'm stealing that^

Me and a buddy jokingly named ours; his The Rodnarock, mine, Sexcaliber.

 

[MatthewVett]

You may or may not be familiar with the common Fantasy conceit of giving famous magic swords names like "Foehammer" and "Goblin-Cleaver". For some bizarre reason, my brain recently started imagining something similar being applied to the cocks of particularly studly men. I have no idea what to do with the idea besides the names, though, and wondered if any of you lot could do something with it.

A sample of the names I came up with:

-Cuntfiller
-Woman-Pleaser
-Assbreaker
-Slut-Splitter
-Maidenslayer
-Virginsfate
-Husbandsbane
-Whore-Maker
-Throat-Gagger

I like it, but yeah, unless you're doing a campy fantasy sex parody, I can't imagine what you'd do with the idea. Still, I always approve of kennings.

 

[walkerlong]

To me, having a name implies the penis has a separate identity. Which may be an interesting story, now that I think of it. Something like the venom symbiote, only more phallic.

 

[bobbyinhouston]

Name

I like the standards

1 The Wadd

2. Long Dong

of course

3 The Hammer.

 

[Hypoxia]

This is hilarious. While we're at it, let's give proper names to pussies, breasts, assholes, and really adept fingers.

 

[Carnevil9]

I like it. Especially if the cocks become more famous than their owners.

"Hey, look, it's Sheldon Goldstein!"

"Who?"

"You know, the guy attached to Hoe-Hammer!"

"Oh yeah, him! He's great."

 

[RicoLouis]

Two great noble houses at war, high rock there banners a fist strangling a game cock the other wet marsh there banner a shaved beaver.

 

[Texguy84]

A sample of the names I came up with:

-Cuntfiller
-Woman-Pleaser
-Assbreaker
-Slut-Splitter
-Maidenslayer
-Virginsfate
-Husbandsbane
-Whore-Maker
-Throat-Gagger

CAPTAIN WINKY

 

[Texguy84]

Sorry. Didn't mean to kill the thread.

The Slutmaker
Virgin's Bane
Staff of Defilement?

 

[RicoLouis]

Okay Story idea

It has been many years since the paladins defeated the succubus’s, gifted powerful magical cocks that grant them immunity against them by drinking the breast milk of the Angel Victoria. Even decapitated a succubus can still perform oral sex. Succubus’s can also infect mortal women turning them, only the cum of a paladin can grant temporary immunity.

Now two paladins, the novice Hancock and veteran Hardick ride into town looking for remnants and to find someone willing to suck there cocks when they catch a whiff of it. Succubus’s in large number. Harddick hasn’t smelled such a strong scent since the war. They pull there cocks out Hancock wipping out Cumslinger and Harddick pulling out Whorehammer ready to do battle. Harddick sacrifices himself as he is overwhelmed giving Hancock a chance to escape and report back to the council.

 

[DarkPleasures]

To me, having a name implies the penis has a separate identity. Which may be an interesting story, now that I think of it. Something like the venom symbiote, only more phallic.

I was sort of thinking the same thing. Something a bit sci-fi/fantasy like? Perhaps the cock can jump off the body and "walk" around on its own?

 

[DarkPleasures]

CAPTAIN WINKY

TheCapt?

 

[slyc_willie]

My wife and I are avid gamers. The old-fashioned, tabletop RPG kind. For those of you unfamiliar with the original Dungeons & Dragons game, the following may not be funny.

She sometimes refers to my "male member" as . . . the Rod of Lordly Might.

Whereas her pussy is, of course, the Portable Hole.

 

[desertslave]

Curious, you left out:

Over-estimator

 

[Erochic]

A little humour

Hehe ... This thread reminds me of the joke:

Q: Why do men give their penises names?



A: Because they don't want a complete stranger making all their decisions

 

[slyc_willie]

Curious, you left out:

Over-estimator

Wishfulthinker.

 

[slyc_willie]

Hehe ... This thread reminds me of the joke:

Q: Why do men give their penises names?



A: Because they don't want a complete stranger making all their decisions

I always thought it was so we could blame it on the other guy.

 

[LWulf]

This is hilarious. While we're at it, let's give proper names to pussies, breasts, assholes, and really adept fingers.

I thought we had names for assholes already? There's LWulf, and...


(I'd have used someone else's name but the joke wasn't meant to be serious and abusive on someone in particular)

 

[S_Deckard]

You may or may not be familiar with the common Fantasy conceit of giving famous magic swords names like "Foehammer" and "Goblin-Cleaver". For some bizarre reason, my brain recently started imagining something similar being applied to the cocks of particularly studly men. I have no idea what to do with the idea besides the names, though, and wondered if any of you lot could do something with it.

A sample of the names I came up with:

-Cuntfiller
-Woman-Pleaser
-Assbreaker
-Slut-Splitter
-Maidenslayer
-Virginsfate
-Husbandsbane
-Whore-Maker
-Throat-Gagger

Really like the idea here. What about a barbarian Conan-like world? Hordes of muscular, broad-chested men ride through the country, raid villages and take the women as their prey. The most feared barbarian warriors receive names for their cocks. Young women everywhere chat secretly about the barbarians and their cocks, they are as much fascinated and in awe of them as they are afraid of them.
Each leader of a horde achieves his status through slaughtering enemies, how many and how wild he fucks women and of course through the size of his cock.
Each horde is known for a certain ways of having their way with women: some only fuck arses, some gangbang women whilst the husband is made to watch, others celebrate their victories through bukkake orgies...

 

[S_Deckard]

other names could be: slut-impaler, flesh-hammer, whore-rider, spear of lust

 

[Hypoxia]

Really like the idea here. What about a barbarian Conan-like world?

Let's flip it around. What about a barbarian Red Sonja-like world?

Hordes of muscular, broad-hipped women ride through the countryside, raiding villages and taking the men as their prey. The most feared barbarian warriors receive names for their cunts. Young men everywhere chat secretly about the barbarians and their cunts, they are as much fascinated and in awe of them as they are afraid of them.

Each leader of a horde achieves her status through slaughtering enemies, how many and how wildly she fucks men, and of course through the strength of her cunt. Each horde is known for a certain ways of having their way with men: some only fuck arses with strap-ons, some gangbang men whilst the wife is made to watch, others celebrate their victories through slurping orgies...

 

[Shendude]

It has been many years since the paladins defeated the succubus’s, gifted powerful magical cocks that grant them immunity against them by drinking the breast milk of the Angel Victoria. Even decapitated a succubus can still perform oral sex. Succubus’s can also infect mortal women turning them, only the cum of a paladin can grant temporary immunity.

Now two paladins, the novice Hancock and veteran Hardick ride into town looking for remnants and to find someone willing to suck there cocks when they catch a whiff of it. Succubus’s in large number. Harddick hasn’t smelled such a strong scent since the war. They pull there cocks out Hancock wipping out Cumslinger and Harddick pulling out Whorehammer ready to do battle. Harddick sacrifices himself as he is overwhelmed giving Hancock a chance to escape and report back to the council.

Really like the idea here. What about a barbarian Conan-like world? Hordes of muscular, broad-chested men ride through the country, raid villages and take the women as their prey. The most feared barbarian warriors receive names for their cocks. Young women everywhere chat secretly about the barbarians and their cocks, they are as much fascinated and in awe of them as they are afraid of them.
Each leader of a horde achieves his status through slaughtering enemies, how many and how wild he fucks women and of course through the size of his cock.
Each horde is known for a certain ways of having their way with women: some only fuck arses, some gangbang women whilst the husband is made to watch, others celebrate their victories through bukkake orgies...

Let's flip it around. What about a barbarian Red Sonja-like world?

Hordes of muscular, broad-hipped women ride through the countryside, raiding villages and taking the men as their prey. The most feared barbarian warriors receive names for their cunts. Young men everywhere chat secretly about the barbarians and their cunts, they are as much fascinated and in awe of them as they are afraid of them.

Each leader of a horde achieves her status through slaughtering enemies, how many and how wildly she fucks men, and of course through the strength of her cunt. Each horde is known for a certain ways of having their way with men: some only fuck arses with strap-ons, some gangbang men whilst the wife is made to watch, others celebrate their victories through slurping orgies...

All of these seem good to me, though the last doesn't really fit the theme, does it?

To me, having a name implies the penis has a separate identity. Which may be an interesting story, now that I think of it. Something like the venom symbiote, only more phallic.

I was sort of thinking the same thing. Something a bit sci-fi/fantasy like? Perhaps the cock can jump off the body and "walk" around on its own?

I remember reading a novel (I think it was Sky Coyote by Kage Baker), that featured a ribald play in which a trickster god's penis comes to life and starts demanding that he fuck every hot woman he sees. I always liked that idea for some reason.

 

[Hypoxia]

All of these seem good to me, though the last doesn't really fit the theme, does it?

That's why I said, flip it. Upend the paradigm. If cocks of renown are okay, why not cunts of renown? Rectums of renown? If it can be used sexually, name it.

I remember reading a novel (I think it was Sky Coyote by Kage Baker), that featured a ribald play in which a trickster god's penis comes to life and starts demanding that he fuck every hot woman he sees. I always liked that idea for some reason.

Great book! Hooked me on the Company series. She went a little over the edge around #12, but still wrote fascinating tales. (She had a little problem with a series ending. I can commiserate.) As it happens, she lived down the street from me in Pismo Beach. That was long ago.

Sky Coyote screened Coyote vs Roadrunner cartoons for the tribe and had to explain why the on-screen Coyote lacked a prong. Uh, well, it's like this...