Happy_mike
Virgin
- Joined
- May 9, 2015
- Posts
- 75
Hey!
I've just posted this on the story feedback page but then I thought, what the hell, surely the best kind of feedback comes from those in the mood and in need of stimulation. It's something I wrote to another Lit lady and she suggested I publish it, and as I have some mild aspirations to write erotica seriously I took her encouragement and ran with it.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and criticisms; is there anything here missing? Too much repetition? Does it work without a backstory? Do I need more dialogue? Feel free to give me both barrels!
Anyway, here we go:
I'm waiting outside our hotel room. You've told me to wait until you're ready, and I have no idea what for.
But eventually you call me, and I open the door and see you lying back on the bed, legs spread wide. You're wearing black heels over lacy black stockings, with a skimpy black thong pulled tight between your swollen pussy lips. You're looking me in the eye, daring me not to drink in the spread before me - the soft breasts hanging free, the tender strokes along your thighs and pussy. You snake a hand up your side to cup your boob, softly squeezing, firmly tugging. I gaze over you, lustful goddess, panting gently as I feel a surge of hot need wash over me.
You order me to undress for you, and I slide off my shirt and jeans eagerly, pausing to massage the lump in my boxers for a few seconds while I watch your fingers graze over your pussy, before I peel them off too. My cock springs free and you watch it continue to harden, twitching and swelling into an erect, solid rod. You tell me to get on my knees before the bed, and I obey, breathing heavily and shaking with need.
Slipping your thong to the side, you gently stroke and spread your pussy inches from my face. I reach out to touch, but you tell me to wait. You force me to sit still while I watch your fingers work their way between your puffy lips, and consume the wet sounds mingling with your whispered moans. I'm panting hard, and you can feel my warm breath between your legs...
Lying back you put your legs together and lift them high, exposing your tight thong planted in your gorgeous ass, before you slide it down your ankles, draw it over my face, and toss it aside. Your thighs spread and beckon me forward. You cradle my head in your hands and plant it on the bed, and lift your wet, glistening pussy to my mouth, crying out as you feel my warm, greedy tongue meet you.
I begin slow but deep, basking in your velvet folds and flavour, licking in long, broad strokes up the length of your pussy and over your clit, sliding my tongue into you and withdrawing. You gasp and whimper, pulling my head hard against you and grinding up and down over my mouth, before sliding a hand up over your breasts and grasping them.
I reach down to stroke my desperate cock but you forbid me through your moans, ordering me to wait once again. Needing release, needing more of you, I begin lapping and sucking quickly and noisily, desperately craving your cum, desperately spending my horny energy on pleasuring you. You writhe in pleasure, moaning loud, your body tensing and relaxing, your legs clamping round my head and trapping me against you.
Feeling you moisten in my mouth, I sink my fingers into your hips and drag you firmly against me, and frantically suck hard on your clit. You pant faster and faster, your moans unrestrained and loud, your grip tightening on my hair, arching your back up before - with a long moan you slowly fall limp against the bed. Your pussy squeezes and tenses, dripping cum over my grateful tongue, before softening against me.
Slowing down, I relax my hold on your hips and reach up to your breasts and squeeze them gently, as I move my mouth from your pussy to your thighs, kissing down your legs to your feet.
Then I stand up over you. My mouth shines with saliva and cum, my cock aches with hardness, standing tall and twitching for satisfaction. You look at me with half open, dazed eyes and gaze at my dick for a few seconds, whimpering in the afterglow of orgasm, before reaching out and gesturing for me. I kneel over you, my cock inches from your face. You lie back, place my hands on your head, look me in the eye, and open your mouth.
I slowly lean forward, gasping as my tip grazes over your cheek, then your chin, before resting on your lower lip. You feel it throbbing and hot against you, and clear strands of precum stick to your cheek and lips as I slide over you. Then, with a soft moan, I push forward. First you only take the head, and I groan with lusting frustration as I strive to slide more in. But again you refuse me more than an inch, so I begin stroking my shaft while the tip slides up and down over your tongue.
I groan loudly at the relief masturbation brings, and placing my free hand on the wall behind your head I fall forward happily, half of my dick filling your mouth. I begin thrusting long and slow, groaning and begging as I do, begging for you to take my cum between your lips, begging you to cover my cock in your saliva. The afterglow of release has faded from your eyes, and they are wide and full of sex once more, locking my gaze while you reach up to my hands and pull them down from the wall to either side of your head. I understand, and I smile at the lusting anticipation, pleasure, and gratitude rushing through me.
And then I begin to fuck your mouth, your tongue, your throat. Really fuck it. Hard, deep, fast thrusts. Thrusts which make me moan and cry out, which make me growl for more. Thrusts which make your throat gag round my shaft, pleasuring me further. Thrusts which force wet, slurping sounds from between your lips.
I call out louder and louder - dominant words, graphic fantasies, commands describing how you're going to take me. Your eyes widen and you grip the back of my thighs and pull me against you. You grasp my ass and spank me hard, urging me on.
Snarling, I grab your head hard and pound my dick into you, and my balls, sweaty and heavy with cum, slap your lower lip with each drive. And I feel it coming, I feel pure, blissful pleasure rising and rising in my cock, and my determined groans turn to begging whimpers. I meet your gaze wide-eyed, and my commanding growls melt into desperate pleading.
I pull your head hard against me and you take my whole length in your throat, your lips meeting my crotch. You pull my ass against you and jiggle your neck, massaging my tip while it bloats and surges and - with a roar of pleasure I throw my head back and gush. Thick, hot wads of fresh cum spurt into you, filling it while I limply thrust several more times, moaning in absolute satisfaction as I do.
Thrust. Squirt. Thrust. Squirt. Drip. Drip. Drip.
I fall back onto your body, gently stroking the last few drops of cum out of my heavy, flaccid cock. And you put your lips together and slowly spill my cum out over your lips. I watch with unbelieving joy, unbelieving contentment, as my cum oozes over your lower lip and slides down your chin and neck. Using a single finger you trace over it slowly and spread it to your chest and nipples, and paint your pussy lips with a few thick drops.
After you've emptied your mouth, you lick your lips and finger and smile at me, your eyes shining with sexual authority and satisfaction. Unable to resist, I take my hands from my dick and push your hair back. Then I kneel forward and kiss you again and again, on your crown and your cheek and your nose and your chin, and end by passionately kissing your mouth, sliding my soft tongue down your throat and tugging at your lower lip with my teeth.
I pull away, and look you in the eyes with a stare of pure gratitude. "Thank you baby," I whisper. "Thank you."
I've just posted this on the story feedback page but then I thought, what the hell, surely the best kind of feedback comes from those in the mood and in need of stimulation. It's something I wrote to another Lit lady and she suggested I publish it, and as I have some mild aspirations to write erotica seriously I took her encouragement and ran with it.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and criticisms; is there anything here missing? Too much repetition? Does it work without a backstory? Do I need more dialogue? Feel free to give me both barrels!
Anyway, here we go:
I'm waiting outside our hotel room. You've told me to wait until you're ready, and I have no idea what for.
But eventually you call me, and I open the door and see you lying back on the bed, legs spread wide. You're wearing black heels over lacy black stockings, with a skimpy black thong pulled tight between your swollen pussy lips. You're looking me in the eye, daring me not to drink in the spread before me - the soft breasts hanging free, the tender strokes along your thighs and pussy. You snake a hand up your side to cup your boob, softly squeezing, firmly tugging. I gaze over you, lustful goddess, panting gently as I feel a surge of hot need wash over me.
You order me to undress for you, and I slide off my shirt and jeans eagerly, pausing to massage the lump in my boxers for a few seconds while I watch your fingers graze over your pussy, before I peel them off too. My cock springs free and you watch it continue to harden, twitching and swelling into an erect, solid rod. You tell me to get on my knees before the bed, and I obey, breathing heavily and shaking with need.
Slipping your thong to the side, you gently stroke and spread your pussy inches from my face. I reach out to touch, but you tell me to wait. You force me to sit still while I watch your fingers work their way between your puffy lips, and consume the wet sounds mingling with your whispered moans. I'm panting hard, and you can feel my warm breath between your legs...
Lying back you put your legs together and lift them high, exposing your tight thong planted in your gorgeous ass, before you slide it down your ankles, draw it over my face, and toss it aside. Your thighs spread and beckon me forward. You cradle my head in your hands and plant it on the bed, and lift your wet, glistening pussy to my mouth, crying out as you feel my warm, greedy tongue meet you.
I begin slow but deep, basking in your velvet folds and flavour, licking in long, broad strokes up the length of your pussy and over your clit, sliding my tongue into you and withdrawing. You gasp and whimper, pulling my head hard against you and grinding up and down over my mouth, before sliding a hand up over your breasts and grasping them.
I reach down to stroke my desperate cock but you forbid me through your moans, ordering me to wait once again. Needing release, needing more of you, I begin lapping and sucking quickly and noisily, desperately craving your cum, desperately spending my horny energy on pleasuring you. You writhe in pleasure, moaning loud, your body tensing and relaxing, your legs clamping round my head and trapping me against you.
Feeling you moisten in my mouth, I sink my fingers into your hips and drag you firmly against me, and frantically suck hard on your clit. You pant faster and faster, your moans unrestrained and loud, your grip tightening on my hair, arching your back up before - with a long moan you slowly fall limp against the bed. Your pussy squeezes and tenses, dripping cum over my grateful tongue, before softening against me.
Slowing down, I relax my hold on your hips and reach up to your breasts and squeeze them gently, as I move my mouth from your pussy to your thighs, kissing down your legs to your feet.
Then I stand up over you. My mouth shines with saliva and cum, my cock aches with hardness, standing tall and twitching for satisfaction. You look at me with half open, dazed eyes and gaze at my dick for a few seconds, whimpering in the afterglow of orgasm, before reaching out and gesturing for me. I kneel over you, my cock inches from your face. You lie back, place my hands on your head, look me in the eye, and open your mouth.
I slowly lean forward, gasping as my tip grazes over your cheek, then your chin, before resting on your lower lip. You feel it throbbing and hot against you, and clear strands of precum stick to your cheek and lips as I slide over you. Then, with a soft moan, I push forward. First you only take the head, and I groan with lusting frustration as I strive to slide more in. But again you refuse me more than an inch, so I begin stroking my shaft while the tip slides up and down over your tongue.
I groan loudly at the relief masturbation brings, and placing my free hand on the wall behind your head I fall forward happily, half of my dick filling your mouth. I begin thrusting long and slow, groaning and begging as I do, begging for you to take my cum between your lips, begging you to cover my cock in your saliva. The afterglow of release has faded from your eyes, and they are wide and full of sex once more, locking my gaze while you reach up to my hands and pull them down from the wall to either side of your head. I understand, and I smile at the lusting anticipation, pleasure, and gratitude rushing through me.
And then I begin to fuck your mouth, your tongue, your throat. Really fuck it. Hard, deep, fast thrusts. Thrusts which make me moan and cry out, which make me growl for more. Thrusts which make your throat gag round my shaft, pleasuring me further. Thrusts which force wet, slurping sounds from between your lips.
I call out louder and louder - dominant words, graphic fantasies, commands describing how you're going to take me. Your eyes widen and you grip the back of my thighs and pull me against you. You grasp my ass and spank me hard, urging me on.
Snarling, I grab your head hard and pound my dick into you, and my balls, sweaty and heavy with cum, slap your lower lip with each drive. And I feel it coming, I feel pure, blissful pleasure rising and rising in my cock, and my determined groans turn to begging whimpers. I meet your gaze wide-eyed, and my commanding growls melt into desperate pleading.
I pull your head hard against me and you take my whole length in your throat, your lips meeting my crotch. You pull my ass against you and jiggle your neck, massaging my tip while it bloats and surges and - with a roar of pleasure I throw my head back and gush. Thick, hot wads of fresh cum spurt into you, filling it while I limply thrust several more times, moaning in absolute satisfaction as I do.
Thrust. Squirt. Thrust. Squirt. Drip. Drip. Drip.
I fall back onto your body, gently stroking the last few drops of cum out of my heavy, flaccid cock. And you put your lips together and slowly spill my cum out over your lips. I watch with unbelieving joy, unbelieving contentment, as my cum oozes over your lower lip and slides down your chin and neck. Using a single finger you trace over it slowly and spread it to your chest and nipples, and paint your pussy lips with a few thick drops.
After you've emptied your mouth, you lick your lips and finger and smile at me, your eyes shining with sexual authority and satisfaction. Unable to resist, I take my hands from my dick and push your hair back. Then I kneel forward and kiss you again and again, on your crown and your cheek and your nose and your chin, and end by passionately kissing your mouth, sliding my soft tongue down your throat and tugging at your lower lip with my teeth.
I pull away, and look you in the eyes with a stare of pure gratitude. "Thank you baby," I whisper. "Thank you."
