Embracing the Lifestyle?

[Silverluna]

I am a late in life bisexual (I guess early 20s is late?) who is trying to "come to terms" with my sexuality. Most of my friends who I can talk to believe that I should "make a choice" , either I'm a lesbian or I'm straight. I don't think that's possible for me, I see beauty, sex appeal, and lust in both genders. *sighs*

I'm at my wits end...
Any advice, comfort, etc would be helpful...
~Thanks~
Luna

(It's been a while since I last posted here, but I thought I'd make a come back. Sorry if this topic is on the board before)

 

[Night_Jasmine]

Luna, plug your ears and don't pay attention to them. You're one of those who can appreciate both, so treasure who you are and don't change who you are for anyone.

 

[DerelictionOfSanity]

That's preposterous. While some people are mostly straight and some (like me) are pretty much completely gay, there's nothing remotely wrong with being attracted to both. (In fact, a lot more folks are at least partially bisexual than would be willing to admit it)

I suppose it would be reasonable for a potential partner to insist that you commit to him/her exclusively, but that doesn't make you any less bisexual. I have an older friend who's been in monogamous relationships, each usually lasting a year or more, sometimes with a man and sometimes with a woman. And she's probably the most serene person I know. It sounds to me as if you've made your 'choice' and it's both! If it's you, then go with it. Other people will just have to learn to accept it.

 

[SweetCherry]

You're you. Fuck 'em if they can't acept you, as is. There's no need to choose between straight and lesbian. If they keep nagging you to choose, tell them you've somewhere in the middle and quite happy there. Good luck to you.

 

[lightsaver]

It is better to embrace you first. Then the lifestyle as it pertains to you will fall into second place, where it belongs.

 

[Kierae]

I agree with the others in that you need to accept yourself however you see your sexuality and embrace it. Do understand though that you will always run into the "walls" of the community because you are bisexual. People want you to chose one side of the fence or the other. It's funny but I would have thought the community and it's labels would have become more relaxed and fluid over the years but ironically it's pretty much the same as it was when I was greeted with the same bullshit 30 years ago. Hang in there and stay true to yourself - you have plenty of time to figure out "who the hell you are and understand that it may change over time.

~kierae

 

[Silverluna]

*grin*
Thanks for the kind words everyone.
I'm pretty much "sure" I'm bisexual, so that's not the major issue, its trying to find my "place" in a mostly gay or straight town/city.

I am in the process of graduating from Grad. School and unfortunately also ending a year long relationship with a man. I am relocating to find a "real job", and I wonder, this might sound silly, but I am hoping to pursue a relationship with a woman, and well...how do I do this?
I've never dated a woman before, usually it was merely a friend who was interested in sex. I'm looking to see if love witha woman is what I have always needed, or perhaps its not for me at all. I want to discover myself.

Blah..sorry if this sounds ranty and odd but I needed to get this out...

 

[DerelictionOfSanity]

Hmm, I don't know. You could try seeing if there are any lesbian/bisexual social clubs/sports teams/reading groups or whatever in your new area. You could *try* a personal ad. I'm not sure how well that would work as it would probably depend on where you are (how large of a gay/bisexual population there is in your city)

Well, good luck anyways. Once you've met someone, I think the process is much the same as a straight relationship --> dating

 

[Silverluna]

Hmm, I don't know. You could try seeing if there are any lesbian/bisexual social clubs/sports teams/reading groups or whatever in your new area. You could *try* a personal ad. I'm not sure how well that would work as it would probably depend on where you are (how large of a gay/bisexual population there is in your city)

Well, good luck anyways. Once you've met someone, I think the process is much the same as a straight relationship --> dating

*giggle* Yeah dating I figured as much.


I'm not that clueless, but I have always wanted to be old fashioned and give flowers ...
Personal ads scare me. I'm planning on trying the club scene downtown.