Elegant ways of saying, "Wanna fuck?"

[YogiBare]

I was thinking about the thread started earlier this week (I think that it was by JL) that asked people how they would like to be asked to have sex. And I figure that there have to be some great true stories out there about how Litsters have been asked to have sex, or have approached others.

So, please think about it. Any sexual invitations that were funny, or really odd, or really elegant, or surprising, or creative, or crass, or anything else that you want to share. They can be from RL or cyber interactions - maybe even from here on Lit!

 

[StrawberryPez]

Would you like some...........coffee? *wink wink nudge nudge* Some...hot..coffee?

 

[Siren]

 

[glamorilla]

I usually just try to put on the most innocent face possible and ask "Would you like to come back to my place and have sex with me?"

 

[Siren]

 

[glamorilla]

It gets boring when it always works.

http://a7.cpimg.com/image/53/34/10461267-9c58-01840200-.jpg

 

[phrodeau]

An inspired quote from a song by Jim Stafford:

I'm gonna take you to a little place I know where I've got a vat full of Dippidy-Doo, sixteen little red noses and a hoss that sweats. Gonna dip you in that Dippidy-Doo, tie a rubber band around my fanny and run around you screaming, "I'm an airplane - make me take off". 'Cause I love you!

 

[JLatino]

"so let me see these large nipples you were talking about."

hey, it worked on me .

 

[WhiteRose]

16 years old at a high school dance and the first time a guy seriously asked me to have sex with him.

"So, you wanna get in the sack?"

I was confused. My first thought was, "a sleeping bag"? Then I realized I politely declined.

 

[YogiBare]

Staring at my crotch, she said, "You idiot! This is not about friendship!!!!"

This happened when I went out for drinks after work with a female co-worker who was married, and twice my age (25), at the time. I had somehow missed all of her more subtle clues, because sex just wasn't in my mind with her. It was embarassing at the time, very funny to think back upon.

 

[Liontamr]

Can you help me try out my new bed?

Ok, so maybe it's not that elegant.. I'm better at being blunt

 

[craigiebaby]

Nothing so far which I am going to try

 

[glamorilla]

Staring at my crotch, she said, "You idiot! This is not about friendship!!!!"

This happened when I went out for drinks after work with a female co-worker who was married, and twice my age (25), at the time. I had somehow missed all of her more subtle clues, because sex just wasn't in my mind with her. It was embarassing at the time, very funny to think back upon.

She wanted your pic~a~nic basket Yogi!

 

[scylis]

good lady, would thee care to join me in my bedroom for a midnight repast of thyne succulent treasure box?

 

[Siren]

Scylis

 

[scylis]

not for me, personally, but given my feelings about sex, i really never felt the need to use it, nor have i ever really had the opportunity.

now, for a really large percentage of people who used such purile nonsense, it did. 'course, back then they all talked like that and the one asking tended to be a noble, so... yes.

 

[juicylips]

<snip>

So, please think about it. Any sexual invitations that were funny, or really odd, or really elegant, or surprising, or creative, or crass, or anything else that you want to share. They can be from RL or cyber interactions - maybe even from here on Lit!

Oh..I'm really partial to..."Can I taste your juicylips?" or better yet.."How juicy ARE your lips?"

I know I ask for it with my nick...but still. Do they really think they are the first to ever ask me that?

Morning,Y
JL

 

[TWB]

The words are not important. I may not say anything.

Its all in the eyes.

 

[hatara]

Ok call me silly. When my online love visited I just started kissing him, stroking him while kissing him and then said I need to feel you inside me.

Hey he never said no.

 

[YogiBare]

Wow! Thank you all.

WhiteRose - I guess that he had the amount of finesse that one should expect from a 16 year old. LOL!! If you're not expecting it, it's easy to not catch on at first.

Pez - Coffee??? Huh??? I love coffee, but .... I guess that you were supposed to catch on from the "hot" part. Here we have a case of attempted finesse, poorly conceived and awkwardly executed! How did you respond?!

Glam - LOL!! I imagine that you do pull this line off with a lot of class and finesse. I'd also guess that you're probably batting about .800 with it.

JL - Hey there, oh sexy one! It must get frustrating to have people lacking in both originality and anything more than superficial sincerity. I'd expect that you get a lot of come-ons, and also that it would take a reasonable amount of flair and sophistication to get your attention. What's the best one that you've gotten?

TWB - Damned straight. The most direct and effective communication, looking deep into the persons eyes. 'Nuff said. This is a favorite of mine.


hatara - Aaaah, yes. Ye olde "invitation that cannot be refused!" It makes me hot just reading your words. Direct. Classy. Very nice.

 

[juicylips]

JL - Hey there, oh sexy one! It must get frustrating to have people lacking in both originality and anything more than superficial sincerity. I'd expect that you get a lot of come-ons, and also that it would take a reasonable amount of flair and sophistication to get your attention. What's the best one that you've gotten?

I honestly can't say which one is the best. Depends on what kind of mood I'm in. Online attraction and why someones words effect me different is a mystery to me.

I'm constantly being surprised, though.

JL