Ego - Submissives how does your's fare

[pierced_boy]

When you are in a scene or in 24/7 relationship.

How do you feel about yourself during and after activity, specialy but not limited to physical activity and stimulation?

How about how you feel as a service sub, doing tasks or being punished.

Does Bondage have any particular effect on your ego and ego state.

I am interested in the internal processes that make you whole.

I have my view but will share it later if appropriate, but do not want to lead or color any discussion that may evolve from this thread.

Compliments of the season to all at lit
Harry

 

[shaymless]

How do you feel about yourself during and after activity, specialy but not limited to physical activity and stimulation?

At times, the best times, I feel as though I'm being broken down into the smallest form and then re-built stronger. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like becoming nothing but heat, then becoming all.

How about how you feel as a service sub, doing tasks or being punished.

For me, it's empowering. I feel like the grinch when his heart grows when I'm doing well at a task and know that I'm pleasing someone. If I get a "good girl" out of it - well, that's it. I rock. I'm all that. Yay me.

When being punished, obviously my ego doesn't fare very well. I give myself more angst than any punishment could accomplish. Because of that, I work very hard to not get punished.

Does Bondage have any particular effect on your ego and ego state.

I'm not into bondage much. It just doesn't do anything for me mentally, so it doesn't do anything to my ego. I can take it or leave it. (I know, I'm weird that way).

Good question
shay

 

[dolf]

to have the attention focussed on me, either to bind me or to inflict pain, makes me feel very beautiful.
aftercare makes me feel very loved and safe.
when i'm serving i feel happy that i have a purpose.

all good

xx

 

[esclave_PP]

Originally posted by pierced_boy
When you are in a scene or in 24/7 relationship.

How do you feel about yourself during and after activity, specialy but not limited to physical activity and stimulation?

Like dolf said, it makes me feel beautiful, useful, the whole idea of serving is what brings about pleasure for me. When I bring Master pleasure, it makes me feel warm inside and needed.

How about how you feel as a service sub, doing tasks or being punished.

Again, same thing -- it literally is my pleasure to do so. Some might think I am not for real when I answer like that but just ask Master, he can explain it to you.

Does Bondage have any particular effect on your ego and ego state.
Only in that it arouses me like crazy! I love to be bound and used. So for me I feel safe in my tethers. I like it. The ironic thing is that I am claustrophobic. But somehow the bondage does not exaserbate this. When I am bound it is such a powerful and wonderful experience for me.

I am interested in the internal processes that make you whole.

I have my view but will share it later if appropriate, but do not want to lead or color any discussion that may evolve from this thread.

Compliments of the season to all at lit
Harry

Thanks Harry! I posted in bold above.

 

[Kajira Callista]

When you are in a scene or in 24/7 relationship.

How do you feel about yourself during and after activity, specialy but not limited to physical activity and stimulation?

How about how you feel as a service sub, doing tasks or being punished.

Does Bondage have any particular effect on your ego and ego state.

I am interested in the internal processes that make you whole.

I have my view but will share it later if appropriate, but do not want to lead or color any discussion that may evolve from this thread.

Compliments of the season to all at lit
Harry

1. During is totally focused, content and complete. After, i feel like super girl...bouncy, all full of smiles and giggles, and strong inside. lol Invincible.

2. Doing tasks is another focus thing for me, my mind is on nothing else but the task and the person who gave me the task. Tasks are something that calms me. Tasks and ritual type things are very important to me because i tend to be all over the place emotionally and my mind is constantly in overdrive.Punishment is something that breaks my heart, if i do something wrong and i am to be punished for it...i kind of fall apart. It hurts me inside to have failed or done something to make that person upset with me, i will do all i can to avoid it.

3. Here is a strange one; being tied tightly makes me feel safe and cared for. Not being able to move makes me remember who i am and what im for. I also get that "i can finally breathe easy" feeling. And again it is somthing that calms me.

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: Ego - Submissives how does your's fare

1. During is totally focused, content and complete. After, i feel like super girl...bouncy, all full of smiles and giggles, and strong inside. lol Invincible.

2. Doing tasks is another focus thing for me, my mind is on nothing else but the task and the person who gave me the task. Tasks are something that calms me. Tasks and ritual type things are very important to me because i tend to be all over the place emotionally and my mind is constantly in overdrive.Punishment is something that breaks my heart, if i do something wrong and i am to be punished for it...i kind of fall apart. It hurts me inside to have failed or done something to make that person upset with me, i will do all i can to avoid it.

3. Here is a strange one; being tied tightly makes me feel safe and cared for. Not being able to move makes me remember who i am and what im for. I also get that "i can finally breathe easy" feeling. And again it is somthing that calms me.

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

 

[A Desert Rose]

When you are in a scene or in 24/7 relationship.

How do you feel about yourself during and after activity, specialy but not limited to physical activity and stimulation?

How about how you feel as a service sub, doing tasks or being punished.

Does Bondage have any particular effect on your ego and ego state.

I am interested in the internal processes that make you whole.

I have my view but will share it later if appropriate, but do not want to lead or color any discussion that may evolve from this thread.

Compliments of the season to all at lit
Harry

What a rare and great thing to see you posting, Harry!

I don't have anything to add to your thread as my experiences are not of interest to anyone. But suffice it to say... I love seeing you here, even if it's not as often as I'd like.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[pierced_boy]

Thanks everybody

Much of what has been said strikes a chord with me.

For me submission allows my ego to recede and for me to just be. Nothing to prove' I know I can do this, I want and need to do this and while there may be consequences related to what is happening it is happening in a very safe and cherished place. Sorry that is a very poor sentence.

After I feel some misgivings sometimes as if something (ego) is returning and rationalization takes place. Not sub drop (for me) notrealy emotional more the intellect re-engaging and saying HEY

Harry

 

[garylee]

service sub?

i do not feel i have an ego to bruise but feel highly confident in my skills........as a service sub.......so much so that in my 15 months real time i was never punished or disciplined......

i have always performed 100% and never failed in any task expected of me..........up to and including digging Her septic tanks.......

this is my view on it.....
garylee

 

[s'lara]

When you are in a scene or in 24/7 relationship.

How do you feel about yourself during and after activity, specialy but not limited to physical activity and stimulation?

i believe how one feels during the activity and after are two very different modes of emotional states. Dependent upon what's happening, i don't mull over what i think about myself. Unless the activity is designed to turn self-introspection into a tool used for sadistic purposes, i don't spend time reflecting on how i feel about myself during the act. i'm not sure if this common to others, but being caught up in what's happening does not often leave time or space for self analyzation.

As to after the activities, the feelings can range from elation to conflicted self-loathing combined with primal satisfaction. Again, that's dependent upon what's just happened and how i choose to regard myself after such acts are over.

How about how you feel as a service sub, doing tasks or being punished.

There's a settling, "right with the world" feeling while servicing. Just a reorganization of thought and pleasure in simplicity satisfaction. You feel affirmed in Your capabilities while providing the service (without necessarily getting the "good girl" after the task is done). For those of us who are service subs, the process of serving someone is as close to a meditative state as i've ever experienced.

Does Bondage have any particular effect on your ego and ego state.

Please elaborate. Are you asking whether the physical act \of being bound affects the ego? Or whether the state of bondage (being the property of another) affects the ego? i might be reading too much into that question, so i apologize if i have.

I am interested in the internal processes that make you whole.

I have my view but will share it later if appropriate, but do not want to lead or color any discussion that may evolve from this thread.

Compliments of the season to all at lit
Harry

 

[incubus'_sub]

Hi Harry, very interesting questions.

I have lived with My Master for only a couple of years now, so I can make a fairly recent comparison of my feelings before & after.

Our BDSM is a sexual thing. I had known I was submissive sexually but it was a struggle to engage my previous husband in the activities. When I was able to intiate anything the physical process was wonderful, but afterwards I felt dirty & wrong, condemned for my pleasure if you will. Now that I am with a true Dom I feel free, appreciated, accepted for my perversions and experience a real afterglow from having pleased him.

Incubus enjoys elaborate bondage, both the restrictive aspect and the visual beauty. Whilst confined in body, my mind can fly. I can concentrate on all the sensations which usually escape your attention. I prefer to be blindfolded as well.

I am not a service sub. We look after each other well, but we don't consider mundane chores to be in any way involved in our D/s.

 

[soapstar]

Thankfully I am not required to perform *chores* either.

Good thing too. I was born a lover not a worker

 

[pierced_boy]

Mind flying

[QUOTE Whilst confined in body, my mind can fly. I can concentrate on all the sensations which usually escape your attention. I prefer to be blindfolded as well.


I feel this also 'while confined in body, my mind can fly'

this is the writers experience too (for me).


great insight but where does the mind take you? Beyond your self because you can appreciate sensations you otherwise may over look but how?


S'Lara few folk could be bound in a ssc sense without actual participation. being bound then delegates a whole bunch of things to the Dominant , responsiblity etceteras. How do you feel then, how is your ego?

for me it feels loose, like I have let go and i need only please.

H
merry Christmass to All

 

[pierced_boy]

mmm

Thankfully I am not required to perform *chores* either.

Good thing too. I was born a lover not a worker

Our play rarely comes out of the bedroom but the head space persists long after. It that head space that gives the play depth for me.

How about you? tell us how your head feels the next day , week or month

best to you Soapstar
H

 

[pierced_boy]

garylee

Nice to see you here

I have a feeling we have met before(in text)

are you well?

H

 

[pierced_boy]

ADR

I wish I was nearer

Iwould warm you up in person. Chin up wench look us in the eye!!

love you

H

 

[pierced_boy]

Shay

At times, the best times, I feel as though I'm being broken down into the smallest form and then re-built stronger. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like becoming nothing but heat, then becoming all.


Good question
shay

shay I like this analogy

how do others feel? does this push your buttons?

yes for me I feel dismantled and reasembled later, the same bits but different shape.....

H

 

[pierced_boy]

Ms mouse

How do you feel about yourself during and after activity, specialy but not limited to physical activity and stimulation?

I feel very focused. My brain isn't racing anymore. Even if it's physical stimulation being done to me, I'm thinking about how it pleases Him. I always joke about having little hamsters in my brain, running on exercise wheels and how they keep me going. I had a Dom friend once tell me He feels I submit because it gives me permission to tell my hamsters to shut up. LOL And He's right- it's almost the only time I can stop and just exist.

How about how you feel as a service sub, doing tasks or being punished.

When I'm serving someone I'm deeply happy. It's very fulfilling to do things that to me are simple and easy, but make someone else's life better. I do acts of service to my 2 best friends because I care enough about them that I feel a need to sub to them, and that is a good way for me to do it. I cleaned M's house top to bottom yesterday, and was in a fabulous mood because of it. LOL

Screwing up and being punished is odd for me. I've always had trouble letting things go when I mess up. Even just dissapointing someone hurts me terribly. I'll literally get a stomach ache. I won't be able to let go of how I upset someone, and I'll really beat myself up over things. So messing up even a little is very hard for me. But I've discovered receintly that even a simple punishment whisks all the guilt and yuck away. Last weekend I did somehting that I thought dissapointed N. And He didn't really mind one way or the other, but I was dumping on myself over it. So he gave me a very simple, focused, do X punishment that took me 10 minutes. And by the end I was all better. So while I try to avoid punishment I also recognize that it helps me do what I'm unable to do alone- forgive myself.

Does Bondage have any particular effect on your ego and ego state.

I've only been bound once. (a few days ago actually LOL) I felt terribly vulnerable. But at the same very very safe and cherished. Sort of like I was bound because I had earned it? Bondage is new enough to me i havne't quite sorted it out yet...

I am interested in the internal processes that make you whole.

I'm still trying to figure out what makes me whole. LOL I've gone from researching/studying D/s to in the last week or two actually doing D/s... and I have to say all my theories about how my brain clicks so far are true. I don't *think* I have poor self esteem, I feel my esteem is very grounded and healthy for the most part. But like everyone there are parts ofme that need work. I'm realizing that D/s helps smooth out those little bumps in my esteem and helps me be ME without all the negative crap getting in the way. It's kinda fascinating actually...

thankyou for your detailed response. self honesty is important in any relationship but most off all when we pass so much control to our partner. It is that exchange, the passing of control and accepting of outcomes that creates the ego state involved in submission. thankyou for your observations

H

 

[Mr Blonde]

BUMP

There are some insightful answers in this thread! It was interesting reading.

 

[sunfox]

When you are in a scene or in 24/7 relationship.

How do you feel about yourself during and after activity, specialy but not limited to physical activity and stimulation?

How about how you feel as a service sub, doing tasks or being punished.

Does Bondage have any particular effect on your ego and ego state.

I am interested in the internal processes that make you whole.

I have my view but will share it later if appropriate, but do not want to lead or color any discussion that may evolve from this thread.

Compliments of the season to all at lit
Harry

I think I can answer all of the above queries largely in the same manner.

I feel whole whether I am actively submitting or not. It has no effect on my ego one way or the other. If I disappoint him, it upsets me, but it doesn't make me feel badly about myself or worthless.. it is simply a mistake that needs rectifying.

I'm very comfortable within myself and with myself, with or without C... I've always been that way, and probably always will be.

Interesting thread, and thanks for the bump, Mr Blonde.