efficient masturbation :)

[infinity706]

Of course men use sex toys. Vibes, sleeves, anal toys... It's a shame you're choosing to be so narrow-minded that you refuse to try anything that might mix it up enough to get you off quicker.

I realize you don't want to stop, but stopping for a bit may be necessary to reset your body and mind. You could also try cutting it down to like 5-10 mins of light masturbation with plenty of lube twice a day. If you're not done by then, force yourself to walk away and do something else. Eventually, you'll get frustrated enough to get close to coming within that period, and you'll be able to give yourself 15-20 mins/max.

If you refuse to help yourself by taking some of the suggestions offered for this, there's nothing else we can do to help you. What were you hoping for, a magic pill or cream?


Infinity, it's not really the number of times that's a concern, it's the fact that even he recognizes the amount he's spending doing this is negatively impacting his life and it sounds like he doesn't feel he can stop once he starts. If an hour a day split into 3 sessions is working for you and not affecting your other activities, great! If it starts impacting your life or you feel you can't stop, then it's time to seek help because that's the pathology of an addiction, and it'll likely become even more destructive as time goes on.

I actually agree with you. I guess I just didn't make it very clear in my post.

 

[AngloSexon]

With all due respect, it doesn't matter if you think it's fair or accurate. Read up on addiction, and you will find compulsion, inability to stop the behavior and continuing the behavior to the detriment of oneself, normal activities (e.g. work, school, hobbies) and relationships are hallmarks of addiction.

If I said I drank for several hours a day, couldn't stop once I started, and that I wanted to cut way back because it was affecting my health and normal activities, would you think it was unfair and inaccurate to suggest I might be a problem drinker/alcoholic and may want to seek professional help? Well, you might, but that wouldn't mean those aren't signs of addiction/alcoholism.

If you had read my post more carefully, you'd see that I'm not suggesting masturbating many times a day is a sign of addiction on its own. If jacking off every few hours works for you, or anyone else, great! But if it becomes a problem because you can't stop yourself, are hurting yourself or it's negatively impacting your other activities/relationships, it might time to consider the possibility of addiction and seek professional help.

I don't know if Hanon has a masturbation/sex addiction or not. It sounds like it's a possibility to me given my extensive research on addiction. My intention was/is not to scare him, but rather give him something to look into if he thinks he might have a problem/addiction and wants to get well. Sex addictions are often not well known, and I rather suggest it than have him (or anyone else reading) want to get help but not do so because they're unaware it's a real condition or there's help availble for sex addicts.

Of course it looks like Hanon has dismissed every response so far, so I seriously doubt any of my suggestions would scare him.

Sorry it has taken me so long to come back on this one.

Erika, I'm sorry I didn't read your post well enough. What you say makes a lot of sense, and I now appreciate your concerns, and that fact that you cared enough to give advice to try and help. I hope I didn't offend you, and would like to publicly withdraw any comment you may feel was negative or unhelpful.

 

[NakedMale]

I masturbate maybe once a day as well as sex with my other half. Its probably because we have sex maybe 2-3 times a week which I don't find enough. I can come very quickly if time is short or take my time to really turn myself if I have the time

 

[sunandshadow]

Its kind of dubious to talk about sex as addiction because biologically, we are actually supposed to be compelled by and addicted to arousal, it's very important to both propagating the species and creating a long-term bond between lovers. A lot of addictive drugs such as cocaine actually are addictive because they directly stimulate the chemicals and receptors in the brain that normally go with sex. That's why drugs can both cause horniness and interfere with the ability to get aroused or get to an orgasm. Also why sex sessions that last more than half an hour or a single technique that is used for several minutes get less interesting and pleasurable, because those receptors get saturated and those neutrotransmitters' available supply of sex chemicals can temporarily run out.

But yeah, it's probably a symptom of a physiological or psychological problem for one's average masturbation session to last more than an hour.

 

[infinity706]

Its kind of dubious to talk about sex as addiction because biologically, we are actually supposed to be compelled by and addicted to arousal, it's very important to both propagating the species and creating a long-term bond between lovers. A lot of addictive drugs such as cocaine actually are addictive because they directly stimulate the chemicals and receptors in the brain that normally go with sex. That's why drugs can both cause horniness and interfere with the ability to get aroused or get to an orgasm. Also why sex sessions that last more than half an hour or a single technique that is used for several minutes get less interesting and pleasurable, because those receptors get saturated and those neutrotransmitters' available supply of sex chemicals can temporarily run out.

But yeah, it's probably a symptom of a physiological or psychological problem for one's average masturbation session to last more than an hour.

That's a very good answer. I just have to worry about whether 99% of the site understood it.

 

[AngloSexon]

That's a very good answer. I just have to worry about whether 99% of the site understood it.

Can I feel good about myself if I did?

 

[curiousgeo62]

Its kind of dubious to talk about sex as addiction because biologically, we are actually supposed to be compelled by and addicted to arousal, it's very important to both propagating the species and creating a long-term bond between lovers. A lot of addictive drugs such as cocaine actually are addictive because they directly stimulate the chemicals and receptors in the brain that normally go with sex. That's why drugs can both cause horniness and interfere with the ability to get aroused or get to an orgasm. Also why sex sessions that last more than half an hour or a single technique that is used for several minutes get less interesting and pleasurable, because those receptors get saturated and those neutrotransmitters' available supply of sex chemicals can temporarily run out.

But yeah, it's probably a symptom of a physiological or psychological problem for one's average masturbation session to last more than an hour.

ummmm, huh?

 

[Hanon435]

dammit. i'm spending too much time "doing business" again. it's cutting into sleep. sucks. and not in a good way.

i think the best way may be to decide to cum in a certain amount of time and be done with it. that's not very satisfying and not having a person around isn't nice either. but if it's the body flushing itself out i guess that's how it is. i just need more sleep.

 

[Hanon435]

ha! less than 30 minutes. take that cock! lol least i can get some sleep now.

 

[romantic_always]

So explain the popularity of the fleshlight?

Anyway, here’s what you do –

1. Step away from the computer. Turn it off.
2. Go outside.
3. DO something with your day.
4. Come home, have a wank, go to sleep.
5. Rinse, and repeat.

This is exactly right. If you make masturbation a planned event and get into a rut, it can be like you've lost the pleasure of it. Go enjoy life and spend time doing things, then IF you have some quality time to yourself, enjoy!

 

[Hanon435]

power wanking seems to be the way to go. more relaxed when time permits.

i also mix chatting, search for sex info, and looking for a nice cute girl online with wanking. that just adds more time. but it's not just about wanking.

 

[Jack_Samuel]

Mate be very careful with this one.

If you train yourself to come quickly then guess what happens next time you want to have sex. You guessed it your body will do what its been trained to do and bang its all over.

If anything celebrate the fact you have some orgasm control and work with it.

 

[Hanon435]

it would save time. that's what i was thinking.

it's not very satisfying. just concentrate, stroke, and it will pop. part of it is only biological so that's ok sometimes.

 

[rbone04]

Of course men use sex toys. Vibes, sleeves, anal toys... It's a shame you're choosing to be so narrow-minded that you refuse to try anything that might mix it up enough to get you off quicker.

I realize you don't want to stop, but stopping for a bit may be necessary to reset your body and mind. You could also try cutting it down to like 5-10 mins of light masturbation with plenty of lube twice a day. If you're not done by then, force yourself to walk away and do something else. Eventually, you'll get frustrated enough to get close to coming within that period, and you'll be able to give yourself 15-20 mins/max.

If you refuse to help yourself by taking some of the suggestions offered for this, there's nothing else we can do to help you. What were you hoping for, a magic pill or cream?


Infinity, it's not really the number of times that's a concern, it's the fact that even he recognizes the amount he's spending doing this is negatively impacting his life and it sounds like he doesn't feel he can stop once he starts. If an hour a day split into 3 sessions is working for you and not affecting your other activities, great! If it starts impacting your life or you feel you can't stop, then it's time to seek help because that's the pathology of an addiction, and it'll likely become even more destructive as time goes on.

You should start an "Ask SweetErika" thread (if you haven't already)... time and again you're spot-on with your advice! For the record, I am a man and sex-toys have changed my sex-life forever. Not just with my GF, but even when I'm flying solo. If you're not into anal toys, fine, but I've used many masturbators/sleeves/etc. that gave me pleasure far beyond the likes of which my hand could ever produce. And as for the post in response to this - which you've already handled, I know...

I don't think this is necessarily either fair or accurate. I used to masturbate 3 or 4 (or sometimes more) times a day. I wasn't addicted, and once I got over post-masturbation guilt syndrome, it wasn't destructive, either. Don't, for god's sake, freak the guy into thinking the desire to masturbate isn't normal, or indeed, that if he can't stop once he starts, it's a sign of a pathological abnormality - it's not; it's a simulation of a natural function, and a damned nice one at that. Hanon435, when I posted earlier, I didn't realise that you were taking an hour at a time; I'm sorry if my comment seemed crass and unfeeling. 5 minutes still seems a bit severe; why not aim - as Erika suggests - for 15-20 minutes?

...it could not be emphasized more that this is a problem if, and only if it is interfering with your life. It is absolutely a fair assessment of the matter. Judging from the fact that Hannon deemed it necessary to start a thread on the matter, it is a problem - or at least an issue.

 

[tenchikoi]

You could just ignore the urge and get on with your life. Just because you feel the need to wank doesn't mean you have to stop everything to do it. Giving ones self pleasure is nice, but it should never be the main focus of existence.

 

[Hanon435]

there is a risk of the random boner. funny yes, but serious too.