Editor Wanted - Road Trip Story

[danandoutside]

Hello,

I am looking for an editor or two - is that you?

I just finished the first part of a road trip story about a male/female couple visiting Park City, UT and I could use an editor.

I am looking for help anywhere from "You switched tenses here" to "this section is weak and needs to be better tied in because XYZ".

Many thanks!
Dan

 

[29wordsforsnow]

Can you give us an idea how long your story is?

 

[danandoutside]

Fairly short - just under 2000 words.

First two paragraphs:

The work week was finally over, the dogs were dropped off at the kennel, and we were free to hit the road! After a long stretch without a vacation Katy and I were road tripping to Park City, UT to get our fill of glamorous mountains in the warmer July weather. The trip started uninspired, with a brief visit to Denver to see Katy’s cousin - food and conversation were enjoyed, an adequate bed was slept on, but there was nothing to write home about. Sunday morning we were ready to hit the road again and make it to Utah. Of course there were interruptions…

We drove West on I-70 and, as everyone warned us, hit traffic on the approach to the Eisenhower Tunnel. Our speed dropped to a crawl - at least it was extremely scenic out the window. Katy had heard that there were bighorn sheep in the area and she really wanted to see one - we had stopped talking about 15 miles earlier as Katy was focused on scanning the mountainside out of her passenger window. Once our truck was covered in the shadows of the tunnel, moving at a blistering 5 mph, I looked over at Katy and opened my mouth to talk. Nothing came out as I saw she had a hand down her shorts and another up her shirt!