Editor needed for first time writer

[fuzzyhandcuffs]

I am super new to this. I need an editor for an untitled as of yet story. I wrote about a romantic sexual encounter between two strangers traveling.

here is the beginning paragraph:

She arrives at the train station with plenty of time to spare, and plenty of time to dwell on her thoughts. She is nervous; she has never done this before. As she sits and watches people walk by her heart starts to race with anxiety. She knows her gate will be called any minute now. She contemplates walking off; leaving the depot and her new life that awaits her on the other side of the county. She doesn’t feel she is brave enough to embark on a new life all alone.

TIA!

 

[meg1]

Before long, I think you'll find writing in present tense to be awkward. It's hard to maintain, and makes switching points of view and from thought to action difficult. You might consider going past tense for your story.

Good luck in your search for an editor

 

[califwineguy]

Hi! I have never commented on others writing here on Lit before, but wanted to at least encourage you in your efforts. Pardon the pun, but I think you are on the right "track" with your story. I would provide a little more information about your character and dont be afraid to break up your thoughts in your first paragraph. Feel free to message me anytime and I would be happy to help. Most of all, have fun and keep writing!

 

[fuzzyhandcuffs]

Before long, I think you'll find writing in present tense to be awkward. It's hard to maintain, and makes switching points of view and from thought to action difficult. You might consider going past tense for your story.

Good luck in your search for an editor

thanks for the advice =)

Hi! I have never commented on others writing here on Lit before, but wanted to at least encourage you in your efforts. Pardon the pun, but I think you are on the right "track" with your story. I would provide a little more information about your character and dont be afraid to break up your thoughts in your first paragraph. Feel free to message me anytime and I would be happy to help. Most of all, have fun and keep writing!

thank you so much!!

 

[califwineguy]

No problem, feel free to message me...I am around today (Friday)...

 

[fuzzyhandcuffs]

No problem, feel free to message me...I am around today (Friday)...

pm'd. thank you =)

 

[fuzzyhandcuffs]

califwineguy is editing for me. thank you!