Early introduction by Mentor

[LanceWrite]

Stella- that's a great story! Here's another true one.

A partner I had years back told me how SHE discovered her 'tendancies'.

She had been assigned a summer reading list in High School. On the list was the novel "The Pearl".

You see where this is going.

So she was in a convenience store with friends, and there was a revolving bookrack of paperbacks. On it, was a copy of "THE PEARL" - Just those words, and the subtitle "A Journal of Victorian Erotica" - "I didn't even know what the word 'erotica' meant. I just thought 'Damn, this is a thick book' - and plopped it on the counter."

"Sweetheart, that wasn't Steinbeck's PEARL." She smiled - "Took me all summer under the covers to figure that out!" But that world was opened on her sexuality - it took her a decade later to find someone.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I invented my 'tendencies," In my head, at an age before I could reliably orgasm from masturbation. Some things that I fantasised turn out to be very commonplace, some of them are just that little bit off-kilter, in ways that don't make sense to people... least of allmyself!

From this I learned that sexual desire does not always make sense.

 

[FurryFury]

I had such tendencies from as early as I can remember. They didn't fit life as I knew it. I repressed them. I felt guilty about them. I never labeled them.

Meanwhile, some of my best buds were kinky. I kept saying, that's fine for you, happy for you but it's not for me.

At the same time I kept wondering why my fantasies were about kidnapping, rape and torture rather than kissing, flowers and slow motion running toward one another.

Someday I'll be able to shut off my brain.

Nope.

And one day something cut threw all the noise, denial and lack of understanding.

Yay!

FF

 

[marieR19]

I had no mentor or older/wiser/etc person showing me the ropes (... pun totally not intended!). I realized my specific "tendencies" when I was in grade school, and realized that I loved acting out scenes where other people bossed me around and yelled at me (my friends and I wrote a lot of small plays).

Of course back then I didn't have names for my tendencies, and I thought it was totally weird and stupid, so I wrote in my diary about it and kept it all to myself as just another way that I was a freak.

It wasn't until high school, and a friend who introduced me to internet sites like Lit and nifty.org, that I realized that what I felt was fairly commonplace.

 

[LanceWrite]

The last two posts are interesting - in that the seed, the tendencies, the desires are expressed organically - and suppressed or hidden until some sort of trigger, or even 'permission' is found.

That's what interests me.

The continuum of human sexuality is fascinating to me. The spectrum so 'broad' that the 'visible light' portion - that which society allows in the open is defined primarily by social 'norms'.

And we all know how narrow that spectrum can be.

The trigger nowadays can easily be the internet - forums, videos, articles. But 'back in the day' - it was hard to find out about it.

I don't say the comparison to homosexuality is the same - but there are overlapping issues around acceptability, 'coming out', finding support etc. etc.

Thanks to all who have responded.

 

[rida]

I'm always fascinated by reading of people that had specific sexual fantasies early on.

I discovered sometime in my preteen that it was pleasurable to clench my thighs tight (and only much later learned that I was basically giving myself orgasms.). It would merely be without much fantasizing, but at times I would recall images I had seen in my aunt's Japanese magazines, such as a bound lady or a powerful man leering at a pretty and defenseless woman ... (No, they were not erotic magazines, nor even alternative ones, they were mainstream weekly "gossip" magazines and the images were drawing from comic strips).

However most of my fantasies would be pretty much romantic encounters, with an element of perhaps one sided struggling/rejection and tribulation (what now I know was my budding emotional masochist) before the happy ending, a mere kiss. Or other times I would follow one of my favorite anime that was about a girl that was being brought up as a boy by her father, the king

Sexually though I was a late bloomer so fast forward to my college boyfriend, very vanilla, but also a very adventurous and open minded relationship: monogamy never made sense to me nor having to stick with missionary position nor with fixed roles.

However Kink, D/s, BDSM was introduced to me as a concept and practice by my husband. He simply suggested we tried some form of control/restrains and gave me a link to read. And it was as if a Pandora box just opened up: so many things started to click and make sense, past encounters acquired a different meaning (like my story with a martial art instructor during my final college year), and ... the rest is my life now ^_^

.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The last two posts are interesting - in that the seed, the tendencies, the desires are expressed organically - and suppressed or hidden until some sort of trigger, or even 'permission' is found.

That's what interests me.

The continuum of human sexuality is fascinating to me. The spectrum so 'broad' that the 'visible light' portion - that which society allows in the open is defined primarily by social 'norms'.

And we all know how narrow that spectrum can be.

The trigger nowadays can easily be the internet - forums, videos, articles. But 'back in the day' - it was hard to find out about it.

I don't say the comparison to homosexuality is the same - but there are overlapping issues around acceptability, 'coming out', finding support etc. etc.

Thanks to all who have responded.

Yes, I agree, Lance. Trans identity as well-- In the seventies I was the only girl I knew who felt so wrong in her body. In the nineties I suddenly began meeting folk who not only felt like me, but had begun taking medical steps towards transitioning. Now, there are some online communities where it seems the number of transitioning to men outnumber the cis (unchanged) women.
And many of them say it's because they simply discovered, via the internet, that it was possible.

 

[FurryFury]

I agree as well. I'm very happy that information is available to help people understand and accept who and what they are at an early age. I only wish it had been around when I were younger.

If I were in the garden of Eden I would have been the snake offering the apple of knowledge.

I've always believed information wants to be free.

FF

 

[Etoile]

An interesting, potentially relevant story:
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/lessons-of-submission/

 

[LanceWrite]

That 'dawning of desire' moment - caught my eye in the series Mad Men. (I finally got around to watching the whole thing on Netflix)

SPOILER- There's a scene where the young daughter is at a sleep over (she's ten/elevenish) and she's watching MAN FROM UNCLE on TV. (Yeah, that's a blast from the past.) The scene that's on the screen shows Illya Kuriaken (The hunky Russian agent played by then hearthrob David McCollum - who plays Ducky on NCIS - my how time flies).

Illya is tied up, bound up in ropes, while a mysterious MASKED WOMAN torments him. While the scene is taking place, the young actress reaches towards the hem of her night gown, and slowly starts to raise it. CUT TO - Her eyes watching the screen intently. CUT TO - The friend's mother coming in the room and basically freaking out over the moment. Dumping heaps of shame and torment on her little psyche.

Like most of the rest of MAD MEN - it's an exquisite snapshot of the conflict of the era, well written and beautifully done.

Anyone else catch the BDSM overtones of the moment?