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Earl Goes to Uni

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Señoras y caballeros:

Our junior comrade, The Earl (known to certain intimates as The) is leaving for university this coming Monday. I thought some of you might appreciate the opportunity to wish him well, perhaps even offer words of advice (or vice), wisdom, cheer, etc.

Erotically-speaking, the lad will encounter a whole new population of females—we needs all rejoice for him.

Earl, love, your first care package will be in the mail soon. I trust you have enough “Casanova’s socks” (Johnny’s to you) for the first week.

Stay warm, eat a good breakfast every morn, and don’t speak to *Essex girls when alone.

Que te vaya bien,

Pear :kiss: :heart: :rose:

__________
*for those not from SE England: slag, tart, stop-up slut, bessom.
 
Earl, the best of British, buddy!

Study hard, but play even harder. Make sure you stock up on pasta and tins of beans. I know that 'spag bol al la bean' is a student delicacy. Also, swot up on David Dickenson's lingo, it will stand you in good stead, and it will help you understand what the rest of the natives are going on about.

If you happen to bump into my brother, run, run like the wind. ;)

Remember: You're a real bobby dazzler. :D

Loulou :rose: :kiss: :heart:
(Who has experienced an Essex boy, but not an Essex girl. ;))
 
I'm sure Earl's first experiences at a univesity will be better than mine. That wouldn't be saying much.
MG
 
Remember, no matter how well rounded your course selections seem, liberal arts demands that you learn to appreciate all the arts - even the art of conversation, and the art of coming to the aid of damsels in distress, and the art of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and the art of undress as well as the art of redress, and...

Oh, sorry, my time is up.

-FF' (Good luck in the great Halls)
 
MathGirl said:
I'm sure Earl's first experiences at a univesity will be better than mine. That wouldn't be saying much.
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Dour Maths,

We all know of your purloined childhood, but you might have taken the time to wish TE well. Be a good gurl, eh?

avauntcularly, Perdita
 
best of luck earl honey

best of luck earl honey, and don't forget to pack all the requisites as perdy and the others say.

what was it now, condoms, tins of beans, condoms, cockroach repelant for the accommodation, yuk, condoms, pencil, condoms, clean pants (one pair should do you're only there for a few months at a time between term breaks), condoms, local phrase book, condoms, picture of Lou's brother so as to avoid, condoms, I think that's about it love, oh did I mention condoms can't be too careful dear:D

all the best of luck honey, take care of yourself.
 
Pierce, what a great letter and such advice. I am in Ben's debt I believe.
____________

Earl, tell me your holiday time and I'll visit. ;)

not so maternally, Pear :heart:
 
Erotically-speaking, the lad will encounter a whole new population of females—we needs all rejoice for him.
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Shouldn't we have a moment of silence for those poor, unsuspecting females, or maybe send up a warning flare? RF

--

Earl,

The best advice I can give you is to study carefully my behavior when I was a single, undergrad student with a new Mustang-then do the exact opposite. Good luck and stay in touch.

Rumple Foreskin
 
Earl..

Pot Noodles
Local Kebab Shop
Local Pizza place

That's all you need know.

Remember, if you can't bring it home in a styrofoam carton, don't eat it.

Raph, unhealthily
 
Rules for college

1. Never schedule a class before noon.
2. Stock up on Fabreeze (If only they had Fabreeze when I went to school)
3. Only have sex when you want to.
4. Set aside at least one day a week for study. Party the other six.
5. Remember, in a pinch, you can sell your books for beer money.
6. One can life on $15 a week in groceries. Think ramen noodles.
7. Its hard enough to get through school with studying interrupting the partying. Don't get her pregnant.
8. Never drink the hooch at a trashcan party unless you plan on spending the night praying to the porcelain god.
9. Plan on spending several nights praying to the porcelain god.
10. Remember, its okay to leave pizza on the table, but the beer has to be finished.
11. College does an excellent job of getting you ready to start your first job where you can learn something important.
12. Enjoy life.
13. Enjoy your friends.
14. Enjoy the party.
15. Enjoy the sex.
 
Oh that reminds me.. One of our favourite sayings in my university:

"Remember, the weekend starts when you want it to"
 
Boring Advice

Best wishes to The Earl.

Don't take on too many commitments at once. Don't join every Society or Club that has good looking females wanting you to sign up. Those females disappear once you've joined.

Remember the objectives: to get a good degree and an education. They are not necessarily compatible.

Always get your work in early. Once you start slipping deadlines it is very hard to catch up without compromising the rest of your life. Trying to write three essays in one night degrades the quality and the grades.

Go to the lectures. It may be "cool" or whatever the current word is to miss a few but absence is noticed. If you have to miss one make sure you have a reliable friend who will lend you their notes and that you reciprocate. Nerds can be very useful. They may not have original ideas or know the best parties but their notes are accurate and meaningful. Techno-nerds are even better. They can sort out your computer when someone covered it in Newcastle Brown Ale or you pressed a button and deleted tomorrow's deadlined work.

If you are doing a Humanities course do NOT get friendly with someone of the opposite sex doing Sciences. Their workload will be much heavier than yours and you should always take second place or they won't last beyond the first year. The opposite also applies. Science students shouldn't date Humanities students because the strain will damage the relationship and the academic achievement.

Money is likely to be your worst nightmare. There is never enough of it, no matter how rich your parents are. Being mean and careful in the first term will save many sleepless nights in the third term.

Last of the boring advice. Learn how to find out information. That is probably the most useful skill any student can acquire. It will help your work and your social life e.g. "What's her name? Has she got a boyfriend who plays Rugby? Or a girlfriend who is jealously protective and a Black Belt in Macrame?

Best wishes, and despite this advice, enjoy yourself.

Og
 
Enjoy yourself Earl :D.

I have just finished freshman initiationsweek at university and tomorrow starts the real thing. So far it is much of fun, I hope this fun lasts a while longer ... :D

CA
 
Bumping

for others to see, and also to say Ogg's boring advice is spot on.

love, Pear :heart:
 
Advice from one who knows..........

Dear Earl,
Good luck in college. Avoid math and science courses if at all possible. You can get a degree without them, and they take too muich time and effort.
MG
Ps. If you want to run with the big dogs, take organic chemistry. It is the great separator of ovines from those of the goatly persuasion.
Pps. "Terpenes and esters, alive, alive-oh"
Ppps. I spent a long time in college, and I'm still not five feet tall. Nuts to higher education!
 
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Heck, you lot have got me all nostalgic, and I only graduated from Uni two years ago!

I endorse Og's advice, and I'll pass on what one of the best teachers I've ever had said to me:

"Turn up for the lectures and seminars, hand in your work on time, and you'll get a degree. Do that and try, and you'll get a good degree."

Play well and prosper, My Lord.

Alex
 
"Turn up for the lectures and seminars, hand in your work on time, and you'll get a degree. Do that and try, and you'll get a good degree."
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Og, Alex, and I have at least two things in common: we all made it and we all agree with that thought. Take it to heart.

Of course, if you're taking humanities and the female type lady person of the opposite sex who's taking sciences is a MathGirl type grad student, well, you're on your own.

Rumple

edited to correct the two, minor, typo flaws CUTE little smart-aleck MG noticed. sniff.:p RF
 
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Rumple Foreskin said:
Of course, if you're taking humanities and the female type lady person of the opposite sex who's taking sciences is a MathGirl type grad student, well, you're onw your on.
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Ha ha, Rumply. I'm sure the lad knows exactly what to do (thank god he plays rugby!)

Perdita :eek:
 
Rumple Foreskin said:
you're onw your on.
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Dear Rumple,
I couldn't have said it better myself. Spot on.
MG
Ps. Sorry. I shouldn't have done that.
Pps. I hate myself when I apologize like that.
 
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Thanks all. Still at home, despite my av-tag. This will be my last evening at home however.

I appreciate all of the advice and the support. Fresher's week starts Tuesday. I'll try to make the AH proud.

The Earl
 
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