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Eagerly anticipating the sequel to "The Fellowship of the Ring," we at skinema.com wo
Eagerly anticipating the sequel to "The Fellowship of the Ring," we at skinema.com wondered whether it would match the heights reached by the first film. We are delighted to announce that "The Two Towers" is "all that," at least with respect to skin conditions. Each of the new characters introduced in this second film could do well to dial 1-800-SKIN-DOC on their elven cellular phone. Take a gander at Two Towers-worth of problem skin...
SPOILER ALERT #1: Most of the characters from "The Fellowship of the Ring" return with their same skin conditions in "The Two Towers." Except actor Sean Bean as Boromir. He failed to read his contract's fine print and was bumped off in the first installment.
SPOILER ALERT #2: A heated can of apple juice will slowly ferment as it spoils, creating an intoxicating mead that is a favorite of regulars at "The Prancing Pony." We now return you to your regularly scheduled web site.
Much like an episode of TV's "Dragnet," here "just the facts" about LOTR, v. 2:
Fact: Battling evil is bad for the complexion.
On the way to Mordor, Elijah Wood...
...needs a pit stop for some Clearasil.
Later, Wood is shocked to see this acne lesion was not edited out of the LOTR DVD.
At least Dominic Monaghan's zits...
...Are only photographed at press junkets.
Middling acne in Middle Earth
As sequels often do, "The Two Towers" while not necessarily improving on "FOTR," it certainly gives us more. More characters. More battles. More spectacular special effects. Not to mention more pimples. Adult acne, as common as it is, appears especially common while waging war against Orcs. Caused by genetic factors predisposing a closing of facial pores, it seems these genes occur not just in humans, but in Elves and Hobbits, too. With closed pores obvious in "FOTR," Legolas wisely used his arrows in battle, not turning them around to pick at his lesions. When taken out of the serenity of the Shire, Hobbits such as Elijah Wood also develop acne cysts. Can proximity to the One True Ring be the cause? Deep inflammation can be controlled by antibiotic pills, but the rapid way to clear the inflammatory cells is not with magic, but with alchemy. Dermatologists routinely inject small amounts of dilute cortisone to flatten such lesions before the next day of filming. Perhaps air-lifting a derm doc into the mountain ranges of New Zealand was not possible, so Wood was left with a mountain peak immortalized forever on DVD. Dominic Monaghan, cast as diminutive Shire class clown 'Merry' Brandybuck, shows a similar facial topography. He is another actor with a hobbit-tual tendency to acne spots.
Fact : Acne's no fun. But it shouldn't get in the way of romance.
As Eowyn, Miranda Otto plays a human beauty...
...Who may just woo Aragorn away from Liv Tyler as Arwen.
But will he be able to ignore her adult acne? (click for a closer look)
As Eowyn, a human hottie who burns strong enough to engulf Aragorn himself, Miranda Otto is all broken up about the massacre of fellow humans. She is also all broken out. Combination treatment, with Retin-A creams for the pores and antibiotics for her cysts may make her presentable for future mate Aragorn. Yet he doesn't seem to mind. With a scar of his own, maybe a little acne can create a sympathetic bond between the two. Or perhaps Strider has some Stridex benzoyl peroxide pads in his rucksack.
Fact: Sun and stress are to skin what Nair is to Hobbit hair.
Just look at actor Bernard Hill as King Theoden. How would you like to be cast as the depressed do-nothing king of Rohan? One who is so clueless that he can't recognize that Saruman and fellow adversary Grima Wormtongue are even the least bit threatening? Theoden has none of the glamour of the heroic Fellowship characters. None of the frenzied fury of a ghastly guy like the Gollum. Is it any surprise that actor Hill's forehead is as furrowed as the skyline of Edoras? These character lines give perpetual brow knitter Reese Witherspoon something to aspire to. We haven't seen frown lines this impressive since Thomas the Tank Engine's enemy Diesal 10. At least something's impressive about Theoden. Could he benefit from Botox treatments to relax these facial muscles? Sure. Should he? Probably not. Otherwise he might lose one of his few distinguishing characteristics. Next he might pop some prescription Prozac, start smiling cheerfully, and spoil the whole narrative.
With help from grimy Grima Wormtongue, Theoden goes from grumpy to dumpy
And if Theoden had things to frown about before, now look at him. A little dark magic, aided and abetted by supposed friend Grima Wormtongue (see below), and we've got the mother of all bad skin days. Director Peter Jackson and his makeup wizards made an intriguing choice with this character. The wrinkles, stringy hair and droopy eyelids suggest the traditional changes of the evil overlord known as Age. But the yellow tint and bumpy consistency are a pattern well known to dermatologists. Years of sun exposure can cause changes in elastin fibers, the component that gives skin natural stretchiness. Abnormally clumped fibers are known as solar elastosis, and create this rough yellow tone. With all the fair skinned folk in New Zealand, getting extreme amounts of sun exposure, the film makers didn't have to look far for examples of this distinctive look. Or maybe this is just an homage to the sun damaged Emperor from the Star Wars franchise. Since there is no good treatment for solar elastosis, prevention is the way to destroy this ring, with sun avoidance and prudent use of sun blocks. And if you are the King of Rohan, one should also avoid Grima and any of the other members of the Wormtongue clan.
Fact: Eomer's face gives the "Two Towers" a double (!) meaning.
Karl Urban as the warrior Eomer with Two Towering Moles
As a warrior in the disillusioned tribe of Rohan, Karl Urban portrays Eomer, nephew of Theoden, brother of Eowyn for those of you who lost your crib sheets. Note this actor's large facial nevi (moles). Often facial moles, unlike moles on the body, arise with pigment cells located deep in the skin. Thus, the lesions are light in color and raised. Over time, this type of mole typically becomes more elevated, emulating the titular Two towers. Removal is may only be necessary if the lesions are in areas of friction, whether from helmet, chain mail, or suit of armor.
Moles aside, look at Eomer's garish sun burn. True, times are tough in Rohan, but what is he thinking? Hasn't he looked at his uncle's sun damage lately? The helmet's not a bad form of sun block, but it could use a wider brim to cast more shade. These days, we can also use metals to shield our skin from ultra violent rays (pun intended). Titanium dioxide, iron oxide, and zinc oxide are all metal ions used in physical sun blocks, reflecting both UVB and UVA rays from the skin. Eomer mistakenly trusts Grima Wormtongue's advice, but he should consider adopting Grima's healthily fair skinned look.
Fact: Trees have skin (bark?) problems too.
Another set of "TT's" new characters are the Ents, including this paternal plant, the Ent-tity called Tree Beard. Yes, it's another of J.R.R. Tolkien's feats of creative naming, as this fellow appears to be a tree...with a beard. He has a prominent bulbous nose suggestive of a medical condition called rhinophyma. Usually the result of having an acne condition called rosacea, it often takes decades of untreated inflammation to cause such swelling. An example of a less wooden actor with rhinophyma is comedian (and Gimli look-alike) W. C. Fields.
Other conditions can also create such a sizable schnozz. An autoimmune condition called lupus erythematosis results in swelling and redness in sun exposed areas such as the nose and cheeks. Lupus vulgaris is a vulgar type of tuberculosis infection that can make a snout bulbous and red. Finally, the mere use of close fitting eyeglass frames that pinch the bridge of the nose can also make for a plump proboscis. In humans, determining the source of inflammation is required to select an appropriate treatment. For Ents, we recommend whittling with a solid chisel, sand paper the surface, and apply the appropriate sealant for a long lasting finish. Oh, what do we know about wood working? We're barking up the wrong tree. We're stumped. Time to leaf this subject...
Fact: Chillin' with The One True Ring will ruin your matinee idol looks.
The Gollum: After Ring exposure
And before Ring exposure (as the Hobbitoid Smeagol)
At last, "The Two Towers" showcases the pathetic creature known as the Gollum. Originally Bilbo Baggins' adversary, the Gollum started out as an everyday hairy Hobbit-like critter named Smeagol. His fate was sealed when he came into possession of the One True Ring. He hid away with the treasure he calls his "Precious," but long term exposure to such a toxic item changed him. Not just driven to mental evil, he was physically corrupted by the One True Ring.
Notably for a Hobbit, he lost most of his hair. Alopecia areata is a condition where the body's immune cells attack hair follicles. Initially this begins with patchy hair loss of the scalp and beard, as revealed by fellow sinister creature Keanu Reeves. Rarely, this can progress to extensive hair loss over the entire body. Medicines that suppress this immune reaction may temporarily allow some hair to regrow.
The Gollum also shows evidence of both thinning and thickening of the skin. Close inspection of his arm reveals skin thinning, such that his veins are clearly visible. Hunched over and hissing, his blood vessels, muscles, and joints stretch beneath skin like saran wrap. Thin skin, or atrophy, can result from age, sun damage, or overuse of topical cortisone creams. Once thinned, few options exist to restore skin to its original resilient state.
Yet the Gollum's shoulder shows some thickened areas. Increased skin lines (called lichenification) occur when a person compulsively rubs at the skin. Eventually, the epidermis expands, creating this linear pattern. Stress increases the tendency to rubbing. We can only speculate that if the Gollum could reclaim the Ring, his skin might start to approximate normal.
After losing the ring to Bilbo Baggins, grumpy Gollum then spends 3 volumes of text (and now three feature films) desperately attempting to retrieve his "Precious." Forget the Ring--healthy skin and hair are the truly "precious" objects.
Fact: Even auteur Peter Jackson can't resist a Bald Albino Villain
Though director Peter Jackson's vision of Middle Earth is innovative in many ways, he can't help but occasionally succumb to a cinematic cliché. How is this seemingly unique fellow actually ordinary and mundane? One would think that an Orc with albinism (skin without pigment) and total hair loss (called alopecia) would be news. Yet, in the world of skinema, he's just another villain with albinopecia, our term for hairless albino bad guys. He's such a joiner that he's the third character in a movie released in December 2002 with this constellation of symptoms! Now if this nemesis would just die another day, that might be somewhat original. Our word to suggestion to Jackson: How about an Orc with good skin? Now that would be innovative!
Final Fact: With this many skin conditions, Grima Wormtongue has a snow ball's chance in Mount Doom of getting health insurance.
Grima's sweaty, bumpy...
...Pale, furrowed and moley...
...And has herpes? That's gotta hurt!
Maybe he should be called Worm-skin.
Actor Brad Dourif seems to be type cast as villains with problem skin. He was the voice of Chucky, the freckled and scarred killer doll from the "Child's Play" series. Now as notorious lackey Grima Wormtongue, we just have to ask: Is there any skin problem this creep doesn't have? He's particularly pale, furrowed, excessively sweaty, and his hair is in dire need of a cream rinse. He shows prominent nodules on his forehead--not the best location for beauty mark moles, though don't anyone tell Gwyneth Paltrow. Adding insult to injury, the film makers have also cruelly added a cold sore on his lip. Recurrent painful flares of herpes virus infection can ruin anyone's day. Without effective anti-viral pills like acylovir or valacyclovir, you'd feel evil too.
Finally, Grima is seen vigorously scratching his skin. Eczema is a common condition that represents a vicious cycle of inflammation which begets itch which begets scratch which begets more inflammation. Triggers include dry skin, food allergies (for the very young), and stress. As the traitorous Judas of the "Two Towers," Grima likely feels a fair amount of pressure.
While giving bad guys bad skin makes it easier for audiences to identify villainy, the deck may be overly stacked against Wormtongue. When wondering whether to trust his confidence, the human characters have to overlook not just his sinister name but also the fact that he is a one man dermatology text book. Haven't they been to skinema.com? It makes it hard to sympathize with them as he turns them over to Saruman. With that, we turn you over to your next click of the mouse. Any questions? Just give us a ring.
Heroic skin of LOTR
Evil skin of LOTR
Skinema Lobby
More spotlights
© 2003 Vail Reese M.D.
Eagerly anticipating the sequel to "The Fellowship of the Ring," we at skinema.com wondered whether it would match the heights reached by the first film. We are delighted to announce that "The Two Towers" is "all that," at least with respect to skin conditions. Each of the new characters introduced in this second film could do well to dial 1-800-SKIN-DOC on their elven cellular phone. Take a gander at Two Towers-worth of problem skin...
SPOILER ALERT #1: Most of the characters from "The Fellowship of the Ring" return with their same skin conditions in "The Two Towers." Except actor Sean Bean as Boromir. He failed to read his contract's fine print and was bumped off in the first installment.
SPOILER ALERT #2: A heated can of apple juice will slowly ferment as it spoils, creating an intoxicating mead that is a favorite of regulars at "The Prancing Pony." We now return you to your regularly scheduled web site.
Much like an episode of TV's "Dragnet," here "just the facts" about LOTR, v. 2:
Fact: Battling evil is bad for the complexion.
On the way to Mordor, Elijah Wood...
...needs a pit stop for some Clearasil.
Later, Wood is shocked to see this acne lesion was not edited out of the LOTR DVD.
At least Dominic Monaghan's zits...
...Are only photographed at press junkets.
Middling acne in Middle Earth
As sequels often do, "The Two Towers" while not necessarily improving on "FOTR," it certainly gives us more. More characters. More battles. More spectacular special effects. Not to mention more pimples. Adult acne, as common as it is, appears especially common while waging war against Orcs. Caused by genetic factors predisposing a closing of facial pores, it seems these genes occur not just in humans, but in Elves and Hobbits, too. With closed pores obvious in "FOTR," Legolas wisely used his arrows in battle, not turning them around to pick at his lesions. When taken out of the serenity of the Shire, Hobbits such as Elijah Wood also develop acne cysts. Can proximity to the One True Ring be the cause? Deep inflammation can be controlled by antibiotic pills, but the rapid way to clear the inflammatory cells is not with magic, but with alchemy. Dermatologists routinely inject small amounts of dilute cortisone to flatten such lesions before the next day of filming. Perhaps air-lifting a derm doc into the mountain ranges of New Zealand was not possible, so Wood was left with a mountain peak immortalized forever on DVD. Dominic Monaghan, cast as diminutive Shire class clown 'Merry' Brandybuck, shows a similar facial topography. He is another actor with a hobbit-tual tendency to acne spots.
Fact : Acne's no fun. But it shouldn't get in the way of romance.
As Eowyn, Miranda Otto plays a human beauty...
...Who may just woo Aragorn away from Liv Tyler as Arwen.
But will he be able to ignore her adult acne? (click for a closer look)
As Eowyn, a human hottie who burns strong enough to engulf Aragorn himself, Miranda Otto is all broken up about the massacre of fellow humans. She is also all broken out. Combination treatment, with Retin-A creams for the pores and antibiotics for her cysts may make her presentable for future mate Aragorn. Yet he doesn't seem to mind. With a scar of his own, maybe a little acne can create a sympathetic bond between the two. Or perhaps Strider has some Stridex benzoyl peroxide pads in his rucksack.
Fact: Sun and stress are to skin what Nair is to Hobbit hair.
Just look at actor Bernard Hill as King Theoden. How would you like to be cast as the depressed do-nothing king of Rohan? One who is so clueless that he can't recognize that Saruman and fellow adversary Grima Wormtongue are even the least bit threatening? Theoden has none of the glamour of the heroic Fellowship characters. None of the frenzied fury of a ghastly guy like the Gollum. Is it any surprise that actor Hill's forehead is as furrowed as the skyline of Edoras? These character lines give perpetual brow knitter Reese Witherspoon something to aspire to. We haven't seen frown lines this impressive since Thomas the Tank Engine's enemy Diesal 10. At least something's impressive about Theoden. Could he benefit from Botox treatments to relax these facial muscles? Sure. Should he? Probably not. Otherwise he might lose one of his few distinguishing characteristics. Next he might pop some prescription Prozac, start smiling cheerfully, and spoil the whole narrative.
With help from grimy Grima Wormtongue, Theoden goes from grumpy to dumpy
And if Theoden had things to frown about before, now look at him. A little dark magic, aided and abetted by supposed friend Grima Wormtongue (see below), and we've got the mother of all bad skin days. Director Peter Jackson and his makeup wizards made an intriguing choice with this character. The wrinkles, stringy hair and droopy eyelids suggest the traditional changes of the evil overlord known as Age. But the yellow tint and bumpy consistency are a pattern well known to dermatologists. Years of sun exposure can cause changes in elastin fibers, the component that gives skin natural stretchiness. Abnormally clumped fibers are known as solar elastosis, and create this rough yellow tone. With all the fair skinned folk in New Zealand, getting extreme amounts of sun exposure, the film makers didn't have to look far for examples of this distinctive look. Or maybe this is just an homage to the sun damaged Emperor from the Star Wars franchise. Since there is no good treatment for solar elastosis, prevention is the way to destroy this ring, with sun avoidance and prudent use of sun blocks. And if you are the King of Rohan, one should also avoid Grima and any of the other members of the Wormtongue clan.
Fact: Eomer's face gives the "Two Towers" a double (!) meaning.
Karl Urban as the warrior Eomer with Two Towering Moles
As a warrior in the disillusioned tribe of Rohan, Karl Urban portrays Eomer, nephew of Theoden, brother of Eowyn for those of you who lost your crib sheets. Note this actor's large facial nevi (moles). Often facial moles, unlike moles on the body, arise with pigment cells located deep in the skin. Thus, the lesions are light in color and raised. Over time, this type of mole typically becomes more elevated, emulating the titular Two towers. Removal is may only be necessary if the lesions are in areas of friction, whether from helmet, chain mail, or suit of armor.
Moles aside, look at Eomer's garish sun burn. True, times are tough in Rohan, but what is he thinking? Hasn't he looked at his uncle's sun damage lately? The helmet's not a bad form of sun block, but it could use a wider brim to cast more shade. These days, we can also use metals to shield our skin from ultra violent rays (pun intended). Titanium dioxide, iron oxide, and zinc oxide are all metal ions used in physical sun blocks, reflecting both UVB and UVA rays from the skin. Eomer mistakenly trusts Grima Wormtongue's advice, but he should consider adopting Grima's healthily fair skinned look.
Fact: Trees have skin (bark?) problems too.
Another set of "TT's" new characters are the Ents, including this paternal plant, the Ent-tity called Tree Beard. Yes, it's another of J.R.R. Tolkien's feats of creative naming, as this fellow appears to be a tree...with a beard. He has a prominent bulbous nose suggestive of a medical condition called rhinophyma. Usually the result of having an acne condition called rosacea, it often takes decades of untreated inflammation to cause such swelling. An example of a less wooden actor with rhinophyma is comedian (and Gimli look-alike) W. C. Fields.
Other conditions can also create such a sizable schnozz. An autoimmune condition called lupus erythematosis results in swelling and redness in sun exposed areas such as the nose and cheeks. Lupus vulgaris is a vulgar type of tuberculosis infection that can make a snout bulbous and red. Finally, the mere use of close fitting eyeglass frames that pinch the bridge of the nose can also make for a plump proboscis. In humans, determining the source of inflammation is required to select an appropriate treatment. For Ents, we recommend whittling with a solid chisel, sand paper the surface, and apply the appropriate sealant for a long lasting finish. Oh, what do we know about wood working? We're barking up the wrong tree. We're stumped. Time to leaf this subject...
Fact: Chillin' with The One True Ring will ruin your matinee idol looks.
The Gollum: After Ring exposure
And before Ring exposure (as the Hobbitoid Smeagol)
At last, "The Two Towers" showcases the pathetic creature known as the Gollum. Originally Bilbo Baggins' adversary, the Gollum started out as an everyday hairy Hobbit-like critter named Smeagol. His fate was sealed when he came into possession of the One True Ring. He hid away with the treasure he calls his "Precious," but long term exposure to such a toxic item changed him. Not just driven to mental evil, he was physically corrupted by the One True Ring.
Notably for a Hobbit, he lost most of his hair. Alopecia areata is a condition where the body's immune cells attack hair follicles. Initially this begins with patchy hair loss of the scalp and beard, as revealed by fellow sinister creature Keanu Reeves. Rarely, this can progress to extensive hair loss over the entire body. Medicines that suppress this immune reaction may temporarily allow some hair to regrow.
The Gollum also shows evidence of both thinning and thickening of the skin. Close inspection of his arm reveals skin thinning, such that his veins are clearly visible. Hunched over and hissing, his blood vessels, muscles, and joints stretch beneath skin like saran wrap. Thin skin, or atrophy, can result from age, sun damage, or overuse of topical cortisone creams. Once thinned, few options exist to restore skin to its original resilient state.
Yet the Gollum's shoulder shows some thickened areas. Increased skin lines (called lichenification) occur when a person compulsively rubs at the skin. Eventually, the epidermis expands, creating this linear pattern. Stress increases the tendency to rubbing. We can only speculate that if the Gollum could reclaim the Ring, his skin might start to approximate normal.
After losing the ring to Bilbo Baggins, grumpy Gollum then spends 3 volumes of text (and now three feature films) desperately attempting to retrieve his "Precious." Forget the Ring--healthy skin and hair are the truly "precious" objects.
Fact: Even auteur Peter Jackson can't resist a Bald Albino Villain
Though director Peter Jackson's vision of Middle Earth is innovative in many ways, he can't help but occasionally succumb to a cinematic cliché. How is this seemingly unique fellow actually ordinary and mundane? One would think that an Orc with albinism (skin without pigment) and total hair loss (called alopecia) would be news. Yet, in the world of skinema, he's just another villain with albinopecia, our term for hairless albino bad guys. He's such a joiner that he's the third character in a movie released in December 2002 with this constellation of symptoms! Now if this nemesis would just die another day, that might be somewhat original. Our word to suggestion to Jackson: How about an Orc with good skin? Now that would be innovative!
Final Fact: With this many skin conditions, Grima Wormtongue has a snow ball's chance in Mount Doom of getting health insurance.
Grima's sweaty, bumpy...
...Pale, furrowed and moley...
...And has herpes? That's gotta hurt!
Maybe he should be called Worm-skin.
Actor Brad Dourif seems to be type cast as villains with problem skin. He was the voice of Chucky, the freckled and scarred killer doll from the "Child's Play" series. Now as notorious lackey Grima Wormtongue, we just have to ask: Is there any skin problem this creep doesn't have? He's particularly pale, furrowed, excessively sweaty, and his hair is in dire need of a cream rinse. He shows prominent nodules on his forehead--not the best location for beauty mark moles, though don't anyone tell Gwyneth Paltrow. Adding insult to injury, the film makers have also cruelly added a cold sore on his lip. Recurrent painful flares of herpes virus infection can ruin anyone's day. Without effective anti-viral pills like acylovir or valacyclovir, you'd feel evil too.
Finally, Grima is seen vigorously scratching his skin. Eczema is a common condition that represents a vicious cycle of inflammation which begets itch which begets scratch which begets more inflammation. Triggers include dry skin, food allergies (for the very young), and stress. As the traitorous Judas of the "Two Towers," Grima likely feels a fair amount of pressure.
While giving bad guys bad skin makes it easier for audiences to identify villainy, the deck may be overly stacked against Wormtongue. When wondering whether to trust his confidence, the human characters have to overlook not just his sinister name but also the fact that he is a one man dermatology text book. Haven't they been to skinema.com? It makes it hard to sympathize with them as he turns them over to Saruman. With that, we turn you over to your next click of the mouse. Any questions? Just give us a ring.
Heroic skin of LOTR
Evil skin of LOTR
Skinema Lobby
More spotlights
© 2003 Vail Reese M.D.
