Eager for feedback on my story!

[jasexy28]

Part of my reason for writing the story was to get some feedback on what people thought of it. I loved the story very much and would love to speak with others who either love it of hate it. Email me at jasexy28@hotmail.com or send me a message here, I'd love to hear from those who have read it. If you haven't read it then you should, you might like it.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=22162

Look forward to hearing from you.

 

[Guest]

Well, the writing style is quite good. The storyline also good though it steps outside some boundries for me personally. I enjoyed it overall. Keep writing

 

[ccb2]

feedback

Excellent letter, very hot....had a good time reading it.

 

[Guest]

Jasexy28

Just wanted to drop in and give you my 2cents worth here.
Basically....not a bad story. (Typical in some respects to many others I've read), but still all in all a good read.

As we've "all" been told at one time or another...(self included, believe me)...make sure when you're done writing your story, don't be in a "rush" to submit it. Proof-read it to catch the obvious simple mistakes...........(See if you find the obvious one)

I sat back down and watched as Mike's fingers toyed with her lips and brushed over his clit, then saw him push a finger inside her and pull it out all wet and shiny.

The one other "minor" thing that tended to stand out (for me anyway) was the fairly frequent use of the word "and".

And we...and she...and he...and we then...and then after...etc.

Obviously we all use "and".....but becareful how frequently you tend to use a certain phrase or group of words.


I've got one that was pointed out to me...that I did quite often, and going back re-reading my older stories, it now stands out like a sore thumb. Sometimes you can't see the forrest for the trees.

So stand back....take a look and and they "will" stand out if they are that obvious. If they are....then change the wording. Your stories will make for far more enjoyable reads....and you'll see the difference in the "votes" as well as the positive feedback.







To sleep.........perchance to dream - William Shakespear


I am..........

 

[cyndiesweet]

Good advice for all of us. Thanks.