Duckman Private Dick double feature tonight

[Duckman PD]

On the Comedy Channel tonight from 10:30 to 11:30 Pacific time.

First, watch me do battle with King Chicken in "Hamlet 2: This Time It's Personal"

Then watch me corrupt the morals of our young people when I teach high school kids in "Class Warfare"

What do ya think of that Corny? You're workin for the
Biggest American Dick ever!

 

[Cornfed]

What do ya think of that Corny? You're workin for the
Biggest American Dick ever!

I don't date people I work with.

 

[modest mouse]

Mental Health Services
1-888-URC-RAZY

Please put this number on speed dial for future reference, thank you.

 

[Renegade]

God, I wish we still got Comedy Central over here. Damn cable companies.

 

[Duckman PD]

Mental Health Services
1-888-URC-RAZY

Please put this number on speed dial for future reference, thank you.

YOU think I'm "sick"?!

Well the only disease I've got is "Modern Life," a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freezeouts, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods, all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue.

Where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like, say, if some nymphomaniac telephone operators with the muscle control of Rumanian mat-slappers agree to a little Strip Air Hockey, it'll be over before it starts 'cuz some vowel-lacking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his Checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santeria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete.

And even with all this, with ALL THIS, I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day, knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those Pearly Gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway 'cuz some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted Good 'N' Plenty to that same Santeria cult so does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails while Life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder that I seem DERANGED???!!

But...heh-heb... that's probably nothing you haven't heard a hundred times before...

 

[Pan718]

Favorite DM line...

Want coffee...? No? Good, there's only one pot anyway. SLURP

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

God, I wish we still got Comedy Central over here. Damn cable companies.

Fuck the cable companies - get satellite.

 

[modest mouse]

YOU think I'm "sick"?!

Well the only disease I've got is "Modern Life," a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freezeouts, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods, all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue.

Thx Duckman, you made my day.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Thx Duckman, you made my day.

Did you see the episodes? They were both excellent, especially the second one. I didn't get the take off on Watergate until almost the end, but it was very good.

Some good quotes I will have to use too.

 

[modest mouse]

No, I didnt watch them. I'm on EST so it would have been 1:30 here. I was exhausted from staying up for the meteor shower Sunday morning. I should have set my VCR. The Duckman and Cornfed personaes on the board are reminding me how great a show that was/is.