Drink protects the species!

p_p_man

The 'Euro' European
Joined
Feb 18, 2001
Posts
24,253
The following is an actual excerpt from Forbes's Magazine:

"A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole herd is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the
brain a faster and more efficient machine.

The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates.

Only those few that stick to the strict regiment of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their college years. So, this is a call to arms.

As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint. Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have.

Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be."

See, told ya so...

:p

ppman
 
A 17 year old boy just died two days ago from alcohol poisoning. He went to a party in the local neighborhood and the allegations are that he was forced to drink too much. He was dead within 10 hours of consuming his first alcoholic drink.
 
Yes, this is why most winos are also neurologists and/or nuclear engineers in their spare time.

:rolleyes:
 
Unfortunately, whatever alcohol you're drinking is killing off the fastest, strongest brain cells.
 
p_p_man said:
The following is an actual excerpt from Forbes's Magazine:

"A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole herd is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.


I don't know where Forbes is getting its information, but the theory of group selection was disproved over 25 years ago.
 
Re: Re: Drink protects the species!

Pyper said:
I don't know where Forbes is getting its information, but the theory of group selection was disproved over 25 years ago.


Translation: Hump me like a buffalo, big boy!!!! Yeee-ha!
 
Re: Re: Re: Drink protects the species!

Problem Child said:
Translation: Hump me like a buffalo, big boy!!!! Yeee-ha!

Will you cut that out! I feel like I have a troll!
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Drink protects the species!

Pyper said:
Will you cut that out! I feel like I have a troll!


Translation: I wish to moisten your bare nutsack with my lithe tongue. Dominate me, O cameldriver!
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Drink protects the species!

Pyper said:
Will you cut that out! I feel like I have a troll!


Translation: Fuck me troll-style, Baba-loouie! Ay Caramba!
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Drink protects the species!

Problem Child said:
Translation: I wish to moisten your bare nutsack with my lithe tongue. Dominate me, O cameldriver!

That's it, I'm tattling to Vixen.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Drink protects the species!

Pyper said:
That's it, I'm tattling to Vixen.


Translation: Let's have a three-way! Liqour in the front, poker in the rear!
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Drink protects the species!

Problem Child said:
Translation: Let's have a three-way! Liqour in the front, poker in the rear!

Okay, so maybe I had that in mind too...but that's NOT THE POINT!
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Drink protects the species!

Pyper said:
Okay, so maybe I had that in mind too...but that's NOT THE POINT!


Translation: "I want to drink steaming jets of sweet pina colada from your love-cannon!"
 
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