Dream Homes, Inc. (SF and jus only)

[sharingfantasies]

I sat with my elbows on the diningroom table, my chin in my hands, staring at an assortment of dirty, empty platters and cups, contemplating the changes in my life. In a moment of philosophical thinking I realized the empty plates were an allegory of my life. What brought about this uncommon philosophizing and the remains of a celebratory party was something that was just now starting to sink into my brain. I didn't have to struggle any more to make it from month to month. I didn't have to get up in the wee hours of the morning. I didn't have to worry about hour long commutes to drive the fifteen miles to work. I didn't even have to work. Like the empty plates, I could start fresh and build a new life for myself. The one I always dreamed of but could never afford.

I, Tess Larson, had done the impossible. I had won the state lottery without buying a ticket. If you know anything about state lotteries, you know the odds are so high, that winning is almost impossible. We are talking one winner out of several million people. Granted the one winner always has a chance of winning millions of dollars, a number I personally don't truly comprehend, but in my case had ended up being the grand amount of $6,358,284. 31.

Actually according to the paperwork in front of me, the grand total was $9,545,038. But the day after I found out I won, a group of people had descended on yours truly from the lottery office in Sacramento. Besides the camera crew, the greet and shake your hand people, there was also the tax people. One for the state and one for the feds. There were platters of food and lots of drink and loud talking and laughing. There was a session of handshaking, "let's do that one more time" only you do it ten more times picture taking, which requires you to do a lot of jumping up and down and hugging of strangers. I don't jump and I don't hug strangers, so that accounts for the multiple retakes. There was multiple pages of paperwork to sign, and explanations of how the tax men took their cut. There was file folders of information about the financial detailsand recommendations for investing the money. Then suddenly they are gone and you are left sitting in shock, with a table of dirty dishes and a paper that says more than six million dollars is now yours. I couldn't grasp any of it. It was like a blur, a bizarre messy blur. I never win anything, never. Even when there are 20 people and fifteen prizes I don't win. But I did. I had won with a ticket that was given to me as the Christmas gift from the company to each of the employees at work. A five dollar list of numbers that to me had represented a waste of five dolllars.

I wasn't sure what to do next. Should I call friends and family, start making a list, keep working, go on a cruise, maybe I should go to Disneyland? It was too much to take in. So I did what I do best, I approached the task from a logical point and I made a list. I wrote down the names of all my siblings and their families, which was a lot. Do I give cash to people? Set up College funds? I made some columns and headed it with "What do people need?". I wrote down the ages of the nephews and nieces, calculated who else could have children and then put a college fund number next to each person's name. I figured if they were younger, they needed less because there was more time for it to make earnings. Then I put a set dollar amount next to each of my siblings. Then I added the total to see how much was left. Turns out that six million dollars goes a long way, so I went back to my list and upped the amounts. There were a couple of charities that were important to me, so I put a chunk of money towards them. Amazingly I still had over five million dollars left.

I decided I would definitely go on the cruise to Alaska, something I had wanted to do for many years. I would buy a new car, the one I currently owned had already over a hundred thousand miles on the odometer. And then it dawned on me. I could build the dream house that I had been designing and fantasizing about for years. I really could do it. I could find the right piece of land somewhere up in the mountains where the sky was still blue and there were trees and songbirds. I have always been a small town person at heart, even though I had spent the past 30 years living in cities. I could really do it.

I got up and gathered all the plastic and paper items and tossed them into huge trash bags. I wiped down the table. Then I picked up the phone and started calling all my family and my friends. I opened up the phone book, called a travel agent and booked a cruise for Alaska for next summer. Then I looked at the section for architects. I wasn't sure how to go about finding the land I wanted or building the house. I knew I would need a contractor, licenses, a real estate agent but I didn't know who was honest or good or would be able to help me do what I needed. I also knew that once the news got out that I had won, people would start pouring out of the woodwork with suggestions as to the best way to spend the money. Suddenly this didn't seem as fun as it had when I was designing in my head.

I wrote down the names of all the architects in the area that worked on private houses. Then I went on the internet and looked up their websites to see samples of their work. Then I called the Good Business Bureau for the state and asked for their recommendations. By the time I had finished I had it narrowed down to one company. A small firm that had a fantastic reputation for matching clients with architects that fit their style. I called the firm, explained some of the details I wanted, and was given an appointment for the next day to sit down with one of their people to just talk about my ideas.

Which of course meant making another list.

 

[jushorny]

Jake Jorden

I had twenty years of experience designing custom built residences for the wealthy. I made a decent living at, not as much as my clients, but enough to get by comfortably. I loved my work so the monetary compensation was not that critical. There was such satisfaction in designing an actual home for an actual person. A far cry from designing high rise office building for thousands of people. This was much more personal. In order to do a proper job for any client one really had to get to know them, it was all part of the process.

The firm I worked with has been in existence for some thirty years. It catered to the wealthy, the CEO’s of large corporations, traders, celebrities, athletes. We were well known in the area but have completed projects all over the United States. We did very little marketing, word of mouth and people seeing our work usually sold our office and our philosophy. Once a client worked with our firm they typically would return. Some times we had as many as four projects going on for just one client.

We had the personnel and knowledge to design any type of residence, from the rustic get away to very traditional gold coast homes, to custom built yachts, airplanes, to contemporary high rise condominiums. Our projects have been published numerous times in the most well known publications. The philosophy was the same. Meet the clients needs in a subtle sophisticated manner using only the finest of materials with only the best trained craftsman.

Our clients knew up front, that hiring our firm meant spending money. We typically did financial background checks on our clients prior to agreeing to accept the project. It was typical that our clients would spend as much on furniture, rugs, antiques, linens, artwork, etc., as they would on construction. We would tell them up front, if construction is a million, then expect to spend that amount on furnishings. It seemed like a lot, but when they saw the final product they were always pleased.

It was not uncommon for the lady of the house to love the end result so much that tears would come to her eyes during our presentation. See, when we turn the home over to the client, everything is complete. Furniture and artwork in place, lamps plugged in, dishes organized in the custom cabinetry, food in the pantries, clothes in the closets, shampoo in the showers, everything. Our presentation meant flowers placed architecturally throughout the home, food laid out, champagne chilled and ready to sip while we gave the tour and presented everything our client had selected with our guidance and put together with our design expertise. We did not complete drawings and leave, we where there until the home was liveable, enjoyable.

Today I had an appointment in our office with a potential new client. I dressed in a black dress pants and blue button down dress shirt. We typically had a casual dress code in the office, our clients did not hire us based on expensive, over dressed clothes. Of course, we had the right wardrobe to allow us to accept the numerous invitations to dinners and charity events. I laid a few of our photo albums on the conference room table, readying to meet Ms Tess Larson. The receptionist had a fresh carafe of coffee on the serving table, along with tea, soft drinks, and water. We of course had done the background check and knew she had recently won the lottery. I knew a little of what she wanted. A new home designed in the woods on a piece of land yet to be found. That meant we not only would be able to assist in finding the property, but would be able to sit the home on the land in the proper fashion. I knew she would not have had the opportunity of being a part of such a project before and would probably take a large amount of hand holding, as it were. But, that was one of our specialties.

I guess I should have mentioned one thing about our firm, we prefer clients who trust our design sense, who trust our abilities, our decisions, our recommendations. Which, as some would say meant we liked control over our projects. Some might say too much control, however, our best projects were ones in which we had maintained such control.

I went back into my office and made a few calls while waiting for her arrival. A few minutes later our receptionist stepped into my office to let me know Tess Larson had arrived and was in the conference room.

I strode into the conference room with a smile on my face, extending my hand, greeting her by her surname and introducing myself, Jake Jorden. As was my typical way, I kept my eyes on her, noticing her dress, her demeanor. She seemed like a very confident person, well dressed, one who took care of her body, around 40 years old was my guess. I poured myself a cup of coffee, seeing the receptionist had already set her up, and sat down, ready to hear her thoughts. “So, Ms. Larson, tell me a little about how our firm can help?”

 

[sharingfantasies]

Tess Larson

I was nervous but trying not to show it. I had no experience with this level of people. I was a librarian for heaven's sake. When I entered this office I was stunned. The place was beautiful, tasteful, and exuded weath. I felt like an invader or imposter. I knew about facts, details, research but this? This was something out of a book or a soap opera. Lives of the Rich and Famous should visit this place. What was I doing here?

I was led to a large room with a wonderful view and a large conference table. The woman that had brought me here, offered me a variety of drinks, so I asked for water which was about all I felt was safe to put in my nervous stomach. Then she left me alone to wait. I spent the time taking deep breaths and reminding myself that I was one of the wealthy now, that I did belong here.

By the time a man came in I was calmer. Sitting with my hands folded in my lap and looking at my list of items I wanted included in my house. When he walked in I almost burst out laughing. Maybe this was all a dream? Maybe I would wake up and find out that I was still in my own bed. Although for a dream, this wasn't half bad. The man looked like a model. One of those tall, dark, handsome, wealthy guys that you see on the cover of GQ. He appeared to be in his mid-forties, tan, well built, exuding charm and confidence. His handshake warm and firm. I have always trusted people with a firm handshake, and Jake Jorden looked like he would be trustworthy. Of course, looks can be deceiving.

"As I am sure you know, I won the lottery. Something that hasn't quite settle in as of yet," my lips turning up slightly at the words. "One of the dreams I have always had was to design and build my own home. I have spent many years thinking about it, redesigning it in my head, even going so far as to look at furnishings and designs. Now that I truly can afford to do this, I want that opportunity to make what is in my head, come true. I don't know how to do that. But I did a lot of research, and everything I came across and those I talked to said that your firm was the best at giving clients what they want. We would be starting from scratch, designing the house, finding the right property, etc. It is my understanding that you or someone that works here can help me, hold my hand so to speak through each of the steps."

I stopped and took a sip of water.. Pleased that my voice had come across soft but strong. I couldn't claim to be confident in this place, but I was confident in what I had envisioned in my head.

 

[jushorny]

Jake Jorden

After introductions I sat down with Ms. Larson. I was re-thinking my age prediction, her body and face seemed to speak of under 40. The shape of her body looked warm, inviting, enticing even. Her face seemed to say that she enjoyed life, that she knew what was important in life and what was trivial. I always liked that in women. I could already see she would have a great sense of humor, if I can bring it out.

Her body language seemed to show a bit of uneasiness, maybe nervousness. It would be part of my job to ease that. As a designer, I would not be able to see beyond words, what it was that would make her home hers unless the barrier was broken.

I listened and smiled as she spoke, rather fast, trying to get all her thoughts out at once. “Don’t worry, Ms. Larson, the home in which I live is nothing like the homes we design for our clients, I could never afford that. I have learned a few tricks that can make it look close, but it doesn’t quite make it. But, I get the privilege of living through my clients so to speak. Do you mind if I call your Tess? Please call me Jake.”

I went on letting her know that yes I was aware that she had won the lottery, congratulated her on her luck. I told her that I would be the person, if she decided to hire our firm, that would be the contact person and the designer for her project. I assured her we had enough personnel to handle such a project, to support my design, but we preferred having on person in the office perform all interaction with a client, it seemed to work well that way.

I began showing her some of our work. Photos as well as published articles. I described how we worked in a short concise way. How we would assist in finding just the perfect piece of land, then move onto design of the home, exterior and interior simultaneously and they both must work together. We would help select materials, finishes, plumbing fixtures, faucets, counter top, tile, anything and everything you could imagine that would be part of a home right down to cabinet knobs. In addition, we work with several well known consultants, structural, mechanical, lighting, audio-visual, landscape, all would work through our office, under my direction to produce the home you desire.

Once we have the home designed, drawn and out for competitive bids we would begin work on furnishings, carpets, rugs, art, accessories. Most likely a few shopping trips with you would be involved. We shop all over the world, Chicago, New York, Paris, London, as well as locally. “Enough about all of that, I am sorry, I tend to go over board when describing how we put together a project. I am sure you have tired of my voice by now.” I smiled over at her as I took a sip of coffee.

“I do have only one more comment, then I can answer any questions you might have. If you decide to use our firm, you must realize that we do not expect you to be well versed in any of this. I would assume that reading drawings is not something you do on a daily basis and will personally walk you through every aspect of your home. I am fully aware you might not know what materials, finishes, etc. are out there to use. You must be perfectly open with me, make your suggestions, and ask your questions. As they say, there is no stupid question. However, you must also keep an open mind, let us show you that material that you have always disliked and show you how it can be interpreted differently and take on a totally different look.”

 

[sharingfantasies]

As we looked at the pictures I began to relax. There were so many beautiful ideas that had never occurred to me. But when Mr. Jorden, Jake, explained all the parts that were involved in this undertaking, I felt totally overwhelmed. Perhaps I would be better off just finding a house that was already built. This was going to be way more than I expected. I was ready to put a stop to the idea when he mentioned that he would be with me every step of the way.

The only thing he said that made any sense to me was when he said that I was probably tired of listening to his voice. I almost blurted out that I wasn't. He has one of those lower tenor voices that is almost melodic as he speaks. I wondered if he sang, his voice would flow over the words I bet.

When he spoke again I had to blink to bring myself back on focus. I blushed slightly and hoped he hadn't noticed that my attention had wandered. How embarrassing if he did. I picked up the glass of water and used it to hide my face, as I took a drink, hoping I would cool off before he noticed.

As he explained that I would need an open mind I nodded. I knew from the pictures that they could put materials and colors together that I would never have considered. When he asked for questions, I wasn't sure where to start. My mind was whirling with all the information he had given me and it hadn't had a time to really sink in.

"Mr. Jorden, Jake, I am feeling a little overwhelmed," I paused, then smiled, "No, make that a lot overwhelmed. There is so much to do and so much to know. I know for sure that what I don't want is a place that looks like it belongs in a magazine. I want a place that is comfortable, lived in, where I don't have to worry if I put my feet up on the table or leave my shoes in the middle of the room. Perhaps, I should just buy a house that is already built? What do you think? I know that you would make more money if we did the entire thing from scratch, but," I leaned closer, putting my hand on his arm, "in your honest, professional opinion, what do you think?"

 

[jushorny]

Jake Jorden

I placed my hand on the back of Tess’ seat as we flipped through the photos of previous projects. Tess had a wonderful scent and because of that I found myself glancing at her neck wondering what it would be like to touch her skin, to taste her softness. I watched as she took a sip of her water, noting the movement of her throat, imagining my mouth over it tasting and pleasuring her skin.

I was brought back to reality when Tess began stating that her home could not be like those in a magazine, it must be more comfortable, one to lay back and kick off you shoes in. I brought my arm from the chair and reached for another photo album, flipping to the 10,000 square foot rustic cabin we designed in Colorado. “Something more along these lines? You can have a magazine quality home and still leave your shoes wherever you want,” I said smiling into her beautiful eyes.

“You should feel overwhelmed, if you don’t I wouldn’t be doing my job. I mean, if it was easy to do, easy enough for anyone to accomplish then I’d be out of work,” I said chuckling, still trying to relax you, make you feel more comfortable. “There really is no need to be overwhelmed, I, well, I mean, our firm will walk you through every aspect, step by step. It’s our job to address each aspect at the appropriate time. But, more importantly, its our goal to take you through every aspect in an interesting and fun way. We want this to be an enjoyable experience for you. How terrible would it be if you spent a year designing, a year building, and hated every moment of the two years? Trust me, I can make this fun.” Looking back into your eyes with a somewhat devilish grin.

“To look for a home already built would be fine, Tess. We can help you with that too. In that regard, one has to look at financial aspects as well. How much will the home cost and how much will the alterations cost. I doubt you would find a home that exactly suits your idea of a dream house. I doubt anyone else has built a home that would fit your individual likes and dislikes. If we could find a home already built and accomplish changes that would make you happy and do it for less than building new, than by all means that would be the way to go.”

I got up and filled my cup of coffee. “Can I get you more water?” I stood there a moment watching you and realized you were one client I would thoroughly enjoy getting to know better. Your hands, the way they turned the pages as you continued looking through the firm’s projects, your posture, straight, confident, yet soft and approachable. Yet, I was not one to have a romance with a client. Other previous partners had been there and it turned out very unsuccessful for the firm. That would be a difficult bridge to cross, but then again, I was not opposed to take on difficult tasks. Where was my mind headed all of a sudden. I made a mental note to myself that I needed to start dating again, needed to get out more.

Sitting back in my chair, “Tell you what Tess, the decision of whether to build new or to buy an existing home is not one that needs to be decided now. In fact, its not really your first decision to make. The first decision, the decision that must be worked out before you can go any further in either direction, is finding someone you can work with. That’s truly the most difficult and most important decision. I assume you have or will interview others. I suggest you take this portfolio we have prepared for you, giving you pertinent information on our firm, give some of our clients a call, think about it, then let me know if you would like working with me, uh, I mean work with our firm.”

“If you decide to hire us, then we can begin the decision of new versus existing together. We can go look at land and we can look at some homes for sale. How does that sound?”

 

[sharingfantasies]

I struggled to concentrate on comprehending what Jake was saying and not just hearing the sound of his voice. When he showed me the mountain cabin, I got excited.

"Yes, something like this. A rustic, country look but comfortable and modern at the same time. I like the large oversized pieces with the natural wood. The cabin feel is exactly what I want. And that stone fireplace makes me wish I was there."

I could hear the enthusiasm in my voice, and could feel the excitement rising in me. Suddenly this seemed possible. So I was totally caught off guard, when he said I should go talk to other people. I could feel my shoulders slump and immediately squared them again. I didn't want him to see my response. What he said made sense, but I felt personally rejected. I knew that was silly but I couldn't help the sudden emotion.

With a false air of confidence, I gathered up my things. "Yes, of course. I am sorry, as I said, I am new to this. I just assumed that meeting with you meant I would be working with you. I will read over the information and let your receptionist know what I decide."

Standing up, I held out my hand, "Thank you for meeting with me, you were very informative and helpful."

 

[jushorny]

It was all going so well until I suggested she talk with other firms. I just assumed she would or had done that. Damn if I wasn't careful I would blow this job.

"Ah, Tess, before you go, would you like a quick tour of our office? It might help you to make your decision, to see how our office functions, to see the technology we have in place."

Thankfully Tess agreed and led her around, introducing her to the different office staff, showing her our sample room, etc.

Ending back up in my office, I motioned for her to have a seat. “Tess, I may have misunderstood the purpose of this meeting today. I thought you were here to interview our firm. That to me means you have not selected a firm. If I am wrong in that assumption, and you have in fact decided to hire our firm, then please, accept my apologies and let’s discuss how we should begin. If you have not yet decided, then please take your time in your selection and when you have decided, don’t let my receptionist know of your decision, talk to me personally. I am really interested in working with you and helping your dream home become reality.”

 

[sharingfantasies]

When he suggested that I see their office I agreed. I wasn't sure why he wanted me to do that when he had just suggested I look at other places. But I went along with him to see what he wanted to show me.

When we reached his office he asked me to have a seat. Then he began to tell me he did want to work with me, which really confused me. I looked at him, trying to figure out the exact wording so that what I wanted to say came out the way I wanted.

"Mr. Jorden, I am a little confused. Perhaps it is a misunderstanding because we don't know each other, however, if you knew me at all you would know that I am very detail oriented. I have done my research on the various architect firms not only in this town but in the county. Based on that research which included the websites for each firm, the reputation of each firm with independent contractors in the area, and the Better Business Bureau, I chose to come to this firm. When I talked to the receptionist, she put me through to the owner of the company. He told me that he had just the right person for what I wanted. While I recognize that, as the owner, he wants my contract so he was going to say that no matter what, however, he took the time to reassure me that the person I met with today was very capable of helping me to acquire what I want. I wasn't given a name at the time, so I don't know if you are the person he had in mind or not. If you aren't, then I would be happy to meet with that person when he or she is available. If you are that person, then I would like to get started if you are available. This has been a life long dream of mine, so I am quite capable of waiting a week or a month or longer for the person that can help me achieve my goal. However, I really have no interest in going around to other firms unless you are saying that this firm cannot help me. Then, of course, I won't have a choice but to go with the firm I had second on my list."

While my words were to the point, my voice remained calm. I just wanted to know if the company could help me or not. I hoped I came across clearly saying that if he didn't want to work with me that was his choice but that I wanted to work with this firm.

As I waited for him to respond it occurred to me that perhaps I wasn't the quality of people that he or the company was used to dealing with and therefore he was trying to "let me down gently". What he didn't know was that I was stubborn, and I wanted the best and could afford it, so I was going to get it if I could. I was so used to being non-confrontational that I guess money was going to buy me a more assertive stance. I had to struggle not to smile at the image of the lottery money buying me a backbone. While I wasn't a pushover, unless it was something I really felt strongly about such as injustice or abuse, I didn't get into anyone's face about something. I either worked around them or didn't bother with it. But this was my dream house and that was important enough to me to want to take a stand. It wasn't as big a deal as injustice but if this firm thought I wasn't good enough for them, just because my money was new, well that was a form of injustice. For a moment I thought the words "So there!" had been spoken out loud but the man sitting at his desk didn't seem to notice anything strange.

I hoped that the thoughts that just flashed through my mind didn't show on my face, and with my hands resting in my lap, on top of the materials he had given me, I waited to see if this firm would help me or not.

 

[jushorny]

“Ms. Larson please accept my apologies, I truly misunderstood. I did not realize you had already completed your research. Most potential clients seem to take this step without any research. I can see I am not dealing with a typical client.” I could she Ms. Larson could become authoritative when she felt the need, I liked that in a lady. I know felt like I had my tail between my legs and looking like a scolded puppy dog.

“Please, our office is most definitely able to help you and would very much be honored to be a part of your dream home. Our office is also detail oriented, so the fit should be there.”

“As far as personnel, well, not to sound egotistical, but I am very much the man you want. I was the designer on that Colorado home I showed you, I have just completed a large condominium in Chicago, so my present load is one small project for a past client, meaning I will easily have the time it would require for your project. I know this area well, have many real estate contacts that would help us in both selecting land as well as searching for already built homes. Of course, if you would prefer not to work with me, I am sure we have someone in our office that you would find acceptable.”

I looked over at you, trying to see in your face if I was succeeding or not. I certainly hoped so, not just because I wanted the business, but because I wanted to get to know the beautiful lady sitting in front of me.

“That being said, and providing you accept my sincere apology, I do have the afternoon free if you would like to get started. We could order some lunch in, or maybe we should go across the street, there is a nice café there. Perhaps after lunch we could look at a piece of property to two.”

 

[sharingfantasies]

There seemed to be a collective sigh of relief, although not audible, now that the air was clear between us. I put out my hand to shake hands settling the fact that we would be working together. However, he didn't release my hand but instead pulled me to my feet. It was an unexpected move and I found myself standing too close to him. So close that when I looked up into his eyes, I could see an awareness that had nothing to do with the reason I was there. I couldn't help but feel a clenching inside as my body recognized the look. The look was immediately shuttered away and I found myself stepping back, looking down to hide a slight blush on my cheeks, that I was sure was something that someone my age shouldn't still be doing.

He turned and signaled to allow me through the door of his office first, then he put his hand on the small of my back to guide me through the labyrinth of walkways to the main door. While his hand was meant to be nothing more than a courtesy, I could feel the heat of it burning through my dress and seeping into my skin. Once we were outside, his hand dropped, and while relieved that I was no longer distracted by the sensations, I recognized that at the same time I missed the feel of it there.

We went across the street to the small diner and ordered sandwiches and salads. Then he began asking me about what kind of property I had in mind. I knew I wanted something outside of the city, perhaps even in another state, that was in the mountains, near water preferrably a river, stream or lake. I wanted a little bit of space around me, maybe a couple of acres or so, so that I had a little privacy and wasn't listening to the neighbors argue or play their stereos loudly.
I wanted some trees on the property, and the basic utilities if possible. If I had to have a septic tank I would live with it, but if we could find something that was hooked up to city plumbing that would be better.

Jake was nodding and I could see the wheel turning in his mind as he processed various places that he knew about. He continued to question me, drawing out more details. I wanted something that was at the 6500 foot altitude or higher, but not so high that the snow level was huge. If not at that altitude then something north of the 40 degree latitude line., but not too much humidity.

I laughed at the look on his face. I knew how hard it was to find something that fit that description. I had been looking online for years just for the fun of it. What I wanted wasn't going to be easy to find and he was just starting to realize it.

"Don't worry. I don't expect miracles and I don't expect you to be able to find something right away. Perhaps I won't be able to find exactly what I want, I realize that," I chuckled. The look of relief in his face was almost comical. "But I would like to look around for awhile and see if it is possible."

He nodded and asked what else I pictured for the place. So I told him I wanted something where I could have huge picture windows of mountain peaks, or a lake or a river. Something that wasn't a parking lot or the house next door. Perhaps a mountain meadow or something like that.

What I didn't want was to be in a large city, on flat ground, in a treeless place, or where I could see the neighbor's house. But I also knew I was getting older, and the idea of a house in the woods away from everyone else was no longer an option. I just couldn't picture myself breaking a leg then dragging myself for miles to the nearest town or house for help. I was past the feelings of immortality that we all feel when we are young. I wanted some privacy, but I didn't want to be isolated.

I looked down at my plate and realized that he was almost finished eating and I had barely started. So I asked him to tell me about places he thought might fit my needs. I ate while he talked.

 

[jushorny]

Jake

I sat eating my lunch, listening to you described just what you are looking for in a piece of property. Your voice was soft yet confident. It was very clear you had thought and researched everything. I knew from the start, this would either be a really easy working relationship, because you knew exactly what your dream home would be like, or it would be a rather combative relationship, wherein you would fight tooth and nails against what I suggested or knew what would be best for the design of your home. I was hoping it would be an easy one.

As you spoke I began running through my head the various properties I knew for sale. Not many fit you description very closely, but that was to be expected. Its not easy to find the perfect piece of property, I knew, I had spent years searching for a piece of land very close to that which you described. That, brought another thought to my head. I owned ten acres of land situated on a lake with a stream flowing into the lake. My home, while quite modest, was already built. I bought ten acres, not because I wanted nor needed that much land, but because that was the only way the previous owner would sell. I always assumed I would sell some of it off, just never got around to it. I wondered if you would assume I was ‘double dipping’ so to speak if I offered to sell some to you. I certainly would not mind having Tess as a neighbor, albeit with that much land it would have to be deliberate to run into each other.

When you finished I began offering options. First I thought we should decide if you wanted to look at existing homes. You had brought that idea up in my office. Existing homes would be easier to find, however, more difficult to find the perfect one. I described a few pieces of land that I knew were for sale, some closer to the city than others.

“I could make a few calls this afternoon and set up some appointments to see homes for this evening or tomorrow, if you’d like. Land, on the other hand, if you have time this afternoon, we could begin our search together. I do know of a few pieces for sale that might interest you. Also, Tess, I would like to show you my land. I have always meant to sell off some of my ten acres, just have procrastinated. And, don’t worry, I will not be offended if my land is not for you, nor will it affect our working relationship. What do you think?”

 

[sharingfantasies]

Jake's ideas made sense and I could feel my excitement building. I tried to dampen the bubbling happiness that was growing inside. This was going to take a long time but it really could be a possibility. For as long as I could remember I had wanted to design my own house. Granted my ideas had changed over the years as I myself had changed. I no longer wanted a gigantic house to fill with children, but rather a reasonable sized home for one person to live the next decade or two in comfort.

Listening to my choices as I finished up my lunch, I knew that I only wanted to take an existing home if it turned out that there was no other choice. I found it ironic that Jake just happened to have some land that sounded like it would be perfect for me. Sometimes I almost believe in fate.

Setting my napkin to the side of my plate, I opened my bag. Looking at Jake, as he started to frown, I grinned, "Let me get this please, it is my first time to treat with lottery money." Seeing my desire to pay for the lunch, I watched him swallow his male pride and agree. Reaching across the table, my eyes smiling with pleasure, I laid my hand on his arm and thanked him. I knew that he was used to picking up the tab and putting it on his expense sheet.

I slid out of the bench and picked up the materials I was still carrying from his office. He put his hand on the small of my back and guided me back towards the office building. When he suggested that we go look at his property and see one or two other sites, I agreed. It was summer and the light would last until fairly late. I wondered what kind of place an architect would choose for himself. I was also curious as to where he would take me that would give me the weather I wanted and the view.

 

[jushorny]

Jake

Seeing how important it was to you, I reluctantly allowed Tess to pay for lunch. I placed my hand on the small of your back, leading you back towards my office. I felt like I could feel your body warmth as we walked. This was going to be a difficult project, trying to keep my mind focused on my work and not on my client. I wondered if you were feeling the same ‘connection’.

Once back in the office I cleared up a few papers on my desk and let the receptionist know I’d be out the rest of the day showing Ms. Larson property. I opened the door to my car for you and again admired your body as you sunk into the leather seat. As we headed out of the city I described briefly a few of the properties I could show you. All of them were outside the city limits, but still close enough not to have to travel a long time to enjoy the city life. All of the properties had city services, water, sewer, etc.

We arrived at the first piece. I helped you form the car and lead you to where I thought a house would sit best. There was a beautiful little stream running through the property but no lake view. We stood there, checking out a views, 360 degrees, enjoying the warm weather, the breeze. I noted how very little air conditioning would be necessary here, lots of windows and doors could allow the air to flow through cooling your home. I glanced over at you and noted how intense you were. You definitely were thinking, inspecting, dreaming of your home sitting right there. You looked over at me and caught me staring, I smiled and asked if you were ready to see the next piece of property. You said almost, you wanted to walk over this piece a bit more, it was like you were meditating with the land, determining if it had your name on it.

The second piece of property was not to your liking at all. I could see it in your eyes almost immediately. You didn’t say a word though, allowing me to show you around. It had a nice lake view, no stream, and the woods were much more heavy with brush, a more primitive feel to it. After I finished my spiel, I took your hand, “Its ok Tess to say you don’t like this, I can see it in your eyes.” You laughed lightly and noted that in fact this one was not for you. I suggested we go to my property, let you get a feel for a home on this type of land as well as show you the land I had planned on selling.

We drove another ten minutes to my place, pulling into the long drive. Through the trees you catch a glimpse of the lake, not a full on view, but enough so you realize the lake is there, enough to make you want to continue. My cedar shake cottage style house comes into view. I watch your response and see your eyes taking it all in, not really commenting, just taking it all in. The front of the house is all porch and front door, there is no immediate view of the garage. I pull up near the front door, walk around and open your door, extending my hand for yours. Let’s go inside, I’ll show you around and then show you on a site plan the rest of my land. Then if you’d like we can walk it. I secretly was hoping that this might lead to dinner together.

 

[sharingfantasies]

After a few minutes wait, Jake walked me to his car. I was filled with excitement and feeling guarded at the same time. I had to smile at my typical optimistic pessimism. Hoping this will really work out all the time planning that it won't so I won't be too disappointed. I tell myself that this is early days in a long process.

As we leave the city, the trees become forest, and I look out the window enjoying the sight of open spaces and vegetation. It is a hot day and the airconditioner is on low, keeping the car cool but not cold. I catch a whiff of Jake's aftershave or cologne and notice the scent is a good one for him. Not too spicy or too strong, but causing the senses to want to move closer to it. I glanced at Jake's profile, noticing how strong it looks. He is a good driver unlike so many people, and I appreciate that quality in him As I watch his strong hands handle the wheel, I am shocked by an image of him touching my skin. The image is so strong that I gasp, covering my mouth and turning it into a cough. When he asks if I am all right I say yes, but I am not sure I am. I turn to look out the window hoping my cheeks are not as red as they feel. By the time we get to the first site I am back under control.

What he shows me is very much what I want, a moving stream of water, some trees, a view of the mountains. As much as it looks right, I cannot accept that I would find the right place the first time I was shown something. I walk around a little, trying to picture the house and how it would sit. What the views would be like from this angle or that. But what I am waiting for is that sudden feeling of "I am home" that I have never felt anywhere but am continuously seeking. As I stand in the field, eyes squinting as I look at the mountains, I wonder if maybe that feeling I seek exists. This land seems perfect, and yet something isn't quite exactly perfect.

The second piece he showed me was pretty, had a good view of the mountains, but there was no running water just the lake. While the lake was beautiful, there were more trees which I liked but it just didn't feel right. I didn't know how to explain to Jake about the feeling I was seeking, so I just let him take me to the next place. I wondered how many places he would end up showing me, and if I would ever feel that rightness I desperately sought.

The next stop was his house, a cottage style home with a porch style I really liked. I took his hand as he helped me from the car, again feeling the tingling awareness that seem to be a part of him. As we walked to the house, I couldn't help but wonder how many women had felt that same awareness I did. While Jake did not blatantly display his sexuality, there was something about him that made anyone that saw him aware of his maleness, his virility. I suspected that he was on the city's list of eligible bachelors.

 

[jushorny]

I was nervous showing Tess my place and hoped it did not show. I wasn’t concerned that she might not like the design. She knew what she liked, she knew my abilities and could see past all of that. But, for some reason I wanted her to like my place, I hoped she felt it was me, I hoped she liked my own particular taste. I also hoped the place was clean, well at least picked up! I couldn’t for the life of me remember if I had been in a hurry to get to the office this morning or not. I wasn’t really concerned about her buying land from me; I only wanted that if she truly loved the land.

I watched her body move as we walked to the front door. Her shape was beautiful, her self confidence showed in her steps. Someone who I could easily take in my arms, hold and kiss for hours. Her scent was enticing, surely turning on every male within distance of her. I wondered if she had ever been married and if not why not. Surely there must be lots of suitors.

I opened the front door, allowing Tess to enter first. She steps into a nice entry hall, not huge but adequate for guests to be welcomed. Wood paneling about six feet on the walls, tying into the wood staircase leading to the second floor. A warm stone floor invites guests and eliminates the need to worry about dirty shoes.

We proceed further into the Living Room; large French doors with transoms line the two walls, framing views of the lake. Tall ceiling with painted crown molding, fresco plaster painted walls, furniture you can lay back in and kick you feet up. Large fireplace made for chilly nights. The French doors open to an expansive wood deck complete with lounge chairs, dining tables and the like.

I explain that the hall you see to the right leads to the Dining Room, Kitchen, Laundry, etc. The hall on right lead to the Library and the room I use for my office. I have the site plan in there. Upstairs is the Master SUite and Guest Rooms as well as home gym. I ask if I can get you something to drink, ice tea, lemonade, whatever. You gracefully accept a lemonade and follow me into the kitchen. Natural pine cabinets line the walls, stone countertops, tile backsplash. Stainless steel appliances, large island with stools to gather around. I pour each of us a glass.

I ask if you would like to go out on the deck, see the view from there before checking out the site plan and walking the land. I take your hand, holding it tenderly and lead you outside, motioning you to sit, relax. “The view like this could be yours too, Tess. Although the stream which you cannot see here, winds through some of the property. You could have your home viewing both the lake and stream if you wish. We can chat more about your dream home before walking.” I sit down in the chair next to you, wondering just what is going through your mind, while still being amazed with you.

 

[sharingfantasies]

As I looked around Jake's house I was surprised. Not because it was beautiful, and warm and comfortable looking. The man is an interior designer so of course it would be beautiful. What surprised me was how much it was like what I wanted. I wouldn't have expected a man that was model-looking handsome, that was obviously a man-about-town type, to have a home that was warm and inviting and comfortable. I would have expected chrome and glass and white furniture. But it wasn't at all. In fact this house was me.

As he showed me to the kitchen and poured a glass of lemonade, I looked at him more carefully, having to rearrange the judgements I had made about him based on his looks, his car and my own apparent stereotypes that I hadn't been aware existed in me. When he took my hand and led me out onto the deck I smiled, my ideas of who he was may have changed but the same tingling still took place when he held my hand.

Out on the deck there was a soft breeze easing the heat of the day. I could hear it rustling through the leaves of the trees in the area, and feel it soft against my skin. I leaned against the railing and looked out towards the lake, and told Jake, "Your house is beautiful, inside and out. I see now why you said you knew what I was talking about when I was describing what I wanted. I can see myself in this house easily."

With a gasp I realized how that had sounded and blushed a bright red. Stammering I tried to explain, "Not in your house, I mean not in YOUR house, I mean in a house like your house.. oh my. I am so sorry." Giving up I stopped trying to say what I meant knowing I was only making it sound worse.

When Jake said quietly, "I can see you in my house also." I knew it was supposed to be a joke, that I was supposed to make some comment or laugh at the joke.

I looked up into his face, realizing he had moved closer than I thought. Expecting to see laughter in his eyes, I was startled to see they had darkened.

Suddenly feeling incredibly self-conscious, I turned toward the lake and said rapidly, "You had a piece of land to show me?" Feeling gauche and wondering why I can never say the right thing at the right time, I blushed again, biting down on my lower lip as I berated myself for not laughing at your joke, for wanting something I wasn't sure existed, for saying stupid things out loud that popped into my head . For a woman in my forties I could certainly act like a teenager at times.

I could feel Jake pause then turn towards the lake also. In my peripheral vision I could see him take a breath and release it slowly. I was sure that it was a sigh of frustration that he had been stuck with a person with no sense of humor and wondered if he would try to pass me off to one of his colleagues when we got back to his office. Part of me wondered if that would be best. Was I making a fool out of myself because of my attraction to him, or would I be a fool for any of the architects? I sighed my own sigh of frustration and sipped some more of the lemonade.

 

[jushorny]

Jake

I gazed at Tess as she gazed out looking through the trees towards the lake. She was just beautiful and the sun filtering through the trees seemed to highlight her body even better. I moved over closer as she went on about being able to see herself in my home. I tried to joke with her about it, make her feel comfortable but I don’t think I was very successful.

It made me think about just how long it had been since a beautiful lady had graced my home. They seem few and far between and never permanent. I had determined it had something to do with me being difficult to be around. I resolved to work harder with Tess, there was something inside her that I wanted to know better. I had to consciously work at keeping my hands idle, wanting to place them on her body, to pull her close, to taste her lips.

I heard her ask about seeing the land, but I was slow to process it, slow to answer. My mind was more trying to figure out just how I was going to approach what I really wanted to say. It was not going to be easy. I turned towards the lake, not able to face Tess for a moment, while collecting my thoughts, took a deep breath and exhaled before continuing.

“Tess, yes, I do want to walk the land with you, but, can we sit down first?” I took your hand and led you to a chair, sitting you down while I leaned against the railing, still holding onto your hand. Tess suddenly looked worried and I had to smile, had to let her know it would be ok. “Tess, I take our professional relationship very seriously and I take my professional responsibilities very seriously too. I am not one of those men who begin a relationship with every available female client, truly, I don’t.” Suddenly feeling very nervous, very anxious. I looked down at the deck as I continued, our hands still together, “In fact, the only other lady I’ve had a professional and private relationship with was my wife. She died about 6 years ago.” Looking back into your eyes, with a half smile, “However, I really have feelings inside me telling me you are someone I need to get to know better. I want you to know that before we continue. I certainly want to be the one to design your dream home, but, uh, if you feel you cannot work with me under these conditions, I certainly will understand.”

Tess’s mouth was half open as she listened and contemplated what I was saying. I let go of her hand, stood and turned towards the lake. I didn’t want to watch her until she had decided how she wanted to proceed.

 

[sharingfantasies]

I was completely taken aback both by the words and the sincerity behind them. I knew I was attracted to him but we had known each other for only a few hours. I knew I had a blank look on my face but I was so honestly surprised that for one of the few times in my life, my brain went blank. There was nothing going on in there at all. I could hear my brain saying, "Think, think" but nothing else happened. It was a blank screen. I was grateful when he moved away, I needed space. Needed time.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, counting to five as I exhaled. Licking my suddenly dry lips, I blinked my eyes a couple of times trying to jump start my brain. When it finally started to work again I was overwhelmed by the voices all talking at once. "Go for it!" "What if you see him and then it goes bad, how will you feel?" "What if you buy his land and it goes bad?" "What if you buy his land and it goes good?" "What if you buy and build your own house, and then decide to get married who's house would you live in?"

"Whoa!" My logical side kicked in. "Slow down and look at this from the beginning. Getting to know him wasn't going to hurt anything. Maybe you will become friends. Let's take this one step at a time."

With another deep breath, I relaxed. Standing up I went to stand next to Jake. Facing him as he looked out over the lake, I leaned my right hip up against the rail and put my hand on top of his where it rested.

"I am sorry about your wife, Jake. I know how much losing someone can hurt. I admit I was surprised by your statement but I would like to get to know you also." Smiling up at him with a grin, I continued, "You are shooting my preconceptions all to pieces, you know. It is hard to think of you as a GQ playboy when you have a home like this and speak of your wife with that tone of softness in your voice. I would like to see where this goes very much. Perhaps as we work on my house, we will discover a strong friendship. I would like that very much."

 

[jushorny]

The warmth of Tess’ hand on mine was very comforting and promising. I could tell her words of softness and sympathy about the death of my wife were genuine. That made me feel good. I had to laugh as she commented on her perception of me as a GQ playboy, I was far from that.

“I hardly fall under the classification of GQ playboy, Tess. But, I also hate to shoot down any perceptions a beautiful lady has in her mind, so I’ll see what I can do about at least fulfilling the romantic aspect of a GQ guy.” I know I must have looked like a high school boy as my eyes looked into hers, I felt like I had the biggest smile on my face. I probably looked corny as hell.

“My wife and I were very much in love. Thankfully we did not have any children, not sure I could raise children in the proper way. It is too bad we were never able to build a home like this on a piece of property together, she would have loved this place.”

I had to slow myself down. Here we had just agreed to see where our relationship might lead, meaning working towards a friendship. I already had her sitting with me for a romantic dinner before making love to her in front of a roaring fire. If I wasn’t careful I’d scare her away.

“But, enough about that part of my life. You just made me a happy guy to know you would like to see where this all goes too, a very happy guy.” I took Tess’ hand and began leading her along the deck towards the few steps down to the land, “Shall we look at some property?” I held her close to me, feeling her warmth, wishing I was the type to scoop a lady up in his arms and take charge, to let her know what I was really feeling.

“Most of the land I have is off to your right so lets walk that way. I hope you don’t mind walking in some brush, I haven’t cleaned all the land out, opting for the forest look more than the manicured lawn option.”

I suddenly felt all giddy and speechless. Not only was I showing a beautiful lady my pride and joy, my home, my land, but I was also very quickly falling for her and I think, she might just be doing the same.

 

[sharingfantasies]

As Jake took my hand and we walked through the brush, I could feel bubbles of excitement filling me. How a forty-two year old spinster could suddenly want to dance in the sunlight and twirl in circles like a ten year old was beyond me. I hadn't felt this way when I was ten years old. Between winning the lottery and meeting Jake, my entire world had turned upside down. I didn't recognize who I was and the sensation was scary and exciting and wonderful. I felt like I was a teenager, caught up in the beginning of the wonders of life and love. I couldn't help but wonder if I was dreaming because I couldn't imagine this being my reality. I was sure I had the giddiest grin on my face.

We walked through the trees along the lakeshore. It felt as if everything around us was in sharper detail, clearer, more defined. As if layers of cellophane had been removed. It made me think of the commercial where the picture was slightly out of focus and then suddenly was bright and clear. The sky overhead was a beautiful deep blue, birds in the trees were singing. I could hear the water rippling along the seashore. My heart was beating fast and I suddenly realized that this was what it felt like to be high, high on life. What a marvelous feeling!

All of it due to this one man, who's warm strong hand was holding mine securely. This man that looked like a movie star but had the heart of .. of.. an angel? a teddybear? I giggled, stopping and slapping my hand over my mouth, my eyes wide with shock. I felt Jake stop and turn with a question in his eyes.

I blushed, how embarrassing to explain, "I giggled. I don't giggle. But I giggled."

He was obviously confused so I blushed again as I tried to put what I was feeling into words. "I was surprised to hear the giggle. I don't think I have ever giggled before. Just saying the words sounds strange." Looking up into Jake's face as he tried to comprehend what I was saying, I laughed, "I am just..." I shrugged lightly, "Happy. I don't remember the last time I felt this young and happy. Thank you." Impulsively I leaned up and kissed him softly.

 

[jushorny]

First the giggling, then the silly explanation and the laughing were making me very relaxed with Tess. She was a beautiful woman and she was fun to be around. I could have walked the entire piece of land with her hand in mine. It had been so long since I enjoyed someone’s company this much.

Her mind must have been thinking along the same lines as mine when she leaned in and gave me soft kiss. Her lips soft and moist, filled with tenderness. Much different than any kiss I remembered receiving in a very long time. I smiled and took my hand from hers, placing it on the back of her neck. Using my other hand, I lifted her chin, “No, I should be thanking you, you have made this a very special day, Tess.” Lowering my lips to hers, kissing tenderly, yet stronger than the first.

Feeling slightly embarrassed, not knowing if you really wanted the kiss, not sure if you were feeling the same way, I pulled slightly away. Telling myself to slow down, we only knew each other for hours so far, I did not want to drive you away. I smiled and again wanted to tell you how happy I was feeling, but I didn’t want to make myself look like the high school boy who never got a date.

Using my hand I gently turned your body to look in towards the land, away from the lake. I pointed in a distance, “Over there, that was the other area that I thought would be perfect place to build a home, Shall we walk over there, see what your views would be like?”

I felt like a dork. Here I was one moment kissing you, the next so shy I reverted back to the profession I knew so well. What was going on with me, I was not normally shy like this, if there was a woman I wanted I’d go after her. With you, it seemed different, I wanted to be the man you wanted, wanted to do this the right way. What was the right way?

 

[sharingfantasies]

When Jake kissed me it was soft and light and just enough pressure to let me know he was interested. It was perfect. As he pulled away, I sighed softly wondering how he knew how to kiss just right. When he turned me around to look at the lake, I was still lost in the kiss. It took me a moment to focus and see what he was pointing out.

We continued to walk along the lake and I breathed deeply of the fresh air. It was so much cleaner here than in the city. As we walked several different birds were in the trees or sky and I only knew the names of a few. I made a note to myself to by a bird identification book if I ended up in this area.

It was interesting how comfortable I was with Jake. Maybe it was being outdoors in a casual setting rather than out to dinner or a show. But I was pretty sure it was Jake. I had a feeling that I would have been comfortable with him in any setting. I could easily see him hobnobbing with the elite of society or eating hotdogs at the ballpark. It was very rare to see someone that could bridge all aspects of life easily. I, on the other hand, would feel totally intimidated in a large fancy social setting. That was something I needed to consider, how would I fit into his lifestyle if we became more serious.

If I moved out here maybe I would consider a dog. It would be fun to walk through the woods tossing a stick for him to chase. I grinned at my thoughts as I got way ahead of myself. I wasn't even sure I wanted to live here, much less own a pet!

We walked around the edge of the lake and there was the small river that Jake had mentioned. Since it was summer it was more of a babbling brook, easy to cross by stepping on stones. "How wide and deep does this get in the winter and spring time, Jake? Is there a bridge or another way to cross it?"

 

[jushorny]

Jake

“It doesn’t get too deep during the Winter, during the Spring it can widen a bit, but not so deep. I’ve been meaning to get a bridge over it, I just haven’t been able to figure out exactly where it should go.” I helped Tess across, making sure she didn’t get wet. “Now, turn your body around slowly, all 360 degrees and check out the views.

As I watched you looking, turning, I began imagining being with you, spending time with you, enjoying things all over again with you. Thinking of long walks in the woods, skinny dipping in the lake, laying back naked after a swim letting the sun dry our bodies. My eyes roamed over your body, imagining just what you looked like without clothes. I found myself lost in thought and I found myself becoming aroused.

You broke my trance, pointing out a small hummingbird hovering next to a smaller tree as the sun shined on it. I moved in behind your, placing my arms around your body, pulling you gently against me. Just wanting to hold your body there, to feel you. “I think that is the same on that hangs around the house, amazing birds, aren’t they?”

“You know, this day has been extremely enjoyable for me. I can tell by the sun, the day will be winding down soon and I really don’t want it to end. Anyway I could convince you to stick around for dinner, I really can cook. My repertoire might be somewhat limited, but I am sure we can come up with something we would both enjoy.”

 

[sharingfantasies]

I leaned against Jake, feeling how right it felt to be held this way. To look out over the lake, listen to the river, watching the hummingbird. I needed to know if the rightness I felt was because of Jake or the land. If it was Jake then perhaps this wasn't the land for me.

When he asked me to stay for dinner, a warm sensation of pleasure and desire rushed through me, making me tremble. I turned my head to look up at him, to say yes, but the look in his eyes, stopped the word from forming. I had never seen a man look at someone like that before. His eyes were like bright with an intense heat that made my body tighten inside. I felt as if we were the only people in the world and that I was his entire focus. I had never seen such intense focus in someone's eyes. I couldn't breathe. The sense of being paralyzed was so strong that I gasped. The sound bringing us both back to reality. I stepped away from him needing a little space. Wondering if he had any idea how much I wanted to be with him, skin to skin, him deep inside my body.

My thoughts brought heat to my cheeks and I walked away, hoping he would think that I was checking out the land. After a few moments, I really did start to look around. The land was on a slight rise above the river and lake. There were several trees, but there was a large reasonably flat area that could be graded for a house. I stood in the middle of the flat area and slowly turned around, trying to get an idea of what the views would be like from different windows.

The lake view was larger than the one at Jake's house, encompassing the western end of the lake. Jake's house was about 45 or 50 degrees from this land. Far enough away for privacy, but close enough in case of an emergency. The river was babbling loud enough that I knew I would be able to hear it if the windows were open. As I turned around from the lake slowly, I could picture the back porch and deck looking out over the lake, my bedroom near the river, so I could hear the river at night. As I continued my slow turn, I appreciated Jake staying where I had left him, not talking, just letting me feel.

I gasped loudly when my back was to the lake. You couldn't see this as we were walking through the woods but because of the way the land set against the lake, there was a break in the trees. Through the break was the mountain view I had always wanted. The peaks tall, sharp as they reach up to the skies. I could picture their beauty in winter. The view was perfect. I had to shake myself physically to bring my eyes from that view. I had seen it in my dreams for so long without really believing it existed. I continued to rotate, looking out over the wooded areas and then back to the lake. There was a large boulder over near the trees opposite of the area where Jake still stood watching the hummingbird.

I leaned against the boulder, and crossed my arms over my chest, closed my eyes and then waited. I could hear the birds, some kind of insect, cicada maybe. There was the water lapping by the lake. It was harder to hear the river from here but by straining I could just barely make it out. The breeze rattled some small branches, ruffled my short hair. I could hear my breathing, my heart beating. Still I waited. My breathing got shallower, slower, quieter. There was a bee somewhere nearby, but I held still.

And then it came, slowly filling my mind, then my body, then my soul. I opened my eyes, blinked to clear my vision. Jake was still there half turned toward me, so that I knew he was keeping an eye on me as he pretended that he wasn't. I had known this man for only a few short hours but he was becoming very important to me in ways that had nothing to do with a house. What if it got serious between us, then fell apart, could I handle being this close yet apart? I realized that if it ever fell apart, it was going to hurt incredibly. That scared me some. Perhaps I should make sure it never went beyond a light friendship. Could I do that? Looking at Jake I knew I couldn't do that. I wanted to experience all of life and if pain was the price for being with this man for awhile then I would pay it. I wanted the chance to see where this went. What if it worked out, his house was his dream house, and this would be mine. How would that work out? It didn't matter in the long run I guess, what happened happened. And when he decided it was time to move on, then I would have a beautiful home in a place that made me feel, finally, like I belonged. And there was enough distance between our houses that eventually I would learn to move on. I was old enough to know that no matter what happens in life, life moves on.

I got up and walked to Jake, as I got closer he turned and faced me, walking to meet me. I couldn't explain these feelings if I had a hundred years and the correct words to do it, but I wanted, needed him, this, all of it. I walked into his arms, mine went around his shoulders and I pulled him down to me, and kissed him. I kissed him hard with all the pent up emotions I was feeling. His mouth opened on mine, his tongue stroked mine, and I felt my toes curl. It was strong enough for me to actually realize it and I broke the kiss laughing hard.

Poor Jake, stood there with a dumfounded look on his face. One minute I was kissing him as if I would never stop, the next I was laughing joyously. I couldn't even stop laughing to catch my breath and explain. I reached out and took his hand and still laughing, pulled him to the spot where I had stood facing the lake. I stood behind him, barely seeing over his shoulder, as I moved him slowly from the lake towards the river. Eventually my laughter eased as my own senses were filled with the scent of his body, a mix of his cologne and his own natural scent. I giggled again as I thought, "Pheromones at work."

When Jake heard the giggle, although he didn't know the reason, I felt him relax a little. I took some deep breaths and calmed myself down. Then leaned my forehead against his back.

"Sorry, I will explain my ridiculous behavior later. I know, I sound like a hysterical teen." my voice still carried the laughter I felt inside. "I am trying to get serious, I really am," my sincerity broken by another giggle. I shook myself really hard trying to shake the joy out so I could think and speak like a rational human being.

Clearing my throat, twice, I was finally able to say, "Picture this. As you look out over the lake, the view from the kitchen window, sliding glass doors leading to a large deck area." Turning his body towards the river, "A bedroom that takes up the width of the house, doors leading to the deck, the sound of the river babbling at night." Turning him towards the mountains, " In the bedroom is a large window, maybe a bow window with a window seat, a couple of chairs so you can read and look over the mountains or maybe a large garden tub, jacuzzi, low window so you can soak and look out at the view. The livingroom with large windows either taking up the wall or maybe two large bow windows with seating, I am not sure.. but something that let's you have that view from the livingroom." Turning him towards the trees, I went on, "Diningroom that has a view of the lake or mountains, perhaps the mountains so you could see the sunset. Maybe in the kitchen a breakfast nook that overlooks the lake so you can see the sun rise."

Turning him so that he was facing the lake again, I moved around to face him, my eyes shining excitedly, "What do you think? Is it possible?"