Dream Enablers, UnLtd.

[Maid of Marvels]

The walls of the room were lined with books from floor to ceiling, a ladder on wheels to reach the uppermost shelves propped against their furthest end. Gas lamps flickered eerily, casting shadows around the room which seemed ancient somehow, as though it had been deposited there from another place, another time.

Looking over the tops of his wire-framed glasses, the man seated behind a book strewn and paper littered mahogany desk looked up at his assistant, who stood precariously on the top rung, replacing books and taking down others. "Have you sent out the flyers?"

"This afternoon, Professor," she replied with a smile.

"Good. Good," he said, lost once again in his calculations. Checking and double checking, he had to be sure that everything was correct to the most minute detail.

Have you ever been awakened by cats knocking bins in the alley? Your dream becoming sepia toned... slipping away from you when you want it so much it hurts? You wished so much that it was true, grinding against the bed, uncertain of the words you said; out loud or in the dream?

Come... dare it to be so. What is real? What is a dream? Let us help you to believe... in Dream Enablers, UnLtd.

Please join Chris2c4u and myself as we blur the line from reality to life... in dreams. Hold our hands... imagine...

As always, comments and critiques are welcome by PM, but most of all enjoy the reads as we set forth on yet another adventure.

~Maid and Chris

 

[Maid of Marvels]

The bell that signalled the end of the day, and the school year, rang with a resounding peal that detonated an explosive cacophony of books slamming shut, chairs scraping across linoleum, voices that had been relatively passive throughout the day now were raised vociferously, the hammering tattoo of fifteen pairs of feet as her students stampeded toward the door in a headlong rush for freedom from classwork and structure.

"Don't forget to read! And have a great... summer," she called after them, knowing that her words had been lost in their hedonistic mini exodus.

Oh, who was she kidding? MaryLou Fischer was looking forward to the upcoming break as much as they were. She had a pile of books that she'd been hoarding for beach days and a list of unseen movies as long as her arm to watch. That, and a few day trips and possibly a weeklong getaway with Dean...

Dean Raccuglia. "Rah cool yah", he had said when they first met, enunciating the second syllable as if underscoring the fact that he was -- cool -- you know?

Of course her parents hadn't approved, him coming from the wrong side of the tracks and all. No college education; he'd been pushed through high school or he wouldn't have that diploma either. No steady job to speak of though they never went without. Oh, their list of his "unacceptable" traits went on and on and on... Sort of like Duracel Bunnies, though MaryLou preferred to call them Rabid Rabbits.

At the end of the day it didn't matter to her or Dean what anyone else thought and soon enough her parents and everyone else who had previously objected, acquiesced. Dean and MaryLou were an irrefutable fact... especially now that they had set a date.

Breaking free of her reveries, MaryLou finished packing up the last of her things from her desk. She'd come back in tomorrow to get the larger stuff, but in the meantime her job here was finished. At least for the next two months.

Locking the classroom door behind herself, she stopped here and there along the paper littered corridor on her way out to say farewells and make promises to keep in touch. Her mind, however, was still drifting... MaryLou had one special stop to make on the way home... The address had been on the flyer that had come in the mail.

Dream Enablers, UnLtd.
306 South Street, Top Floor
555-0816​

At first she had thought it was a hoax, but, needing a good laugh after an especially long day prompted her to pick up the phone and dial. A young woman who introduced herself as the Professor's assistant answered. Yes, Miss Marvels had assured her, everything in the brochure had been accurate... and indeed possible. Would she like to make an appointment? Oh, and was this for herself or someone else?

An almost morbid sense of curiosity had overtaken her normally rigid hold on reality, though she often took a ribbing from Dean for losing herself in books and dreams. If this were possible... if... it was probably the most wonderful gift she could offer to the man who held her heart. Yes, she would go.

 

[chris2c4u]

"Donny, I will fix it, OK? Now take the 2 grand he is offering, say have a nice day and go get a good seat at the lap dancing club. Me? Naa, I can't come, I'm picking up Marylou. You forget? This is my birthday. Yeah, we're going round ma and pa's tonight, family feed. Then round her place for the night. She's done with school today for a couple of months, we get plenty of quality time, uh? OK, have fun."

Dean Raccuglia closed his cell phone as he sat in his Jeep, top down, out front of the school. He'd pushed his Raybans into his slightly curly black hair. These were the real Raybans too, not the knock off ones he sold to the shadier traders. He listened to Coldplay on the stereo as he grinned at two 12th grade lookers eyeing up the Jeep. He gave the blonde a wink, "didn't I see you on the cheerleading team?" he called out and they rolled their eyes and walked off, flicking their hair and wiggling their asses. He laughed and honked the horn.

Turning back to look into the school yard he saw Marylou walking out of the gate and his heart skipped; he wouldn't tell anyone about that or the lump in his throat when he watched her when she thought he wasn't or the way he murmured I love you as he came inside her.

He grinned as she stepped into the car, his tanned muscled arm snaking along the back of her seat and he leaned in for a kiss. She pulled away, studying something in her hand.

"Did I just see you flirting with Lisa Womack?" She supressed a smile by not looking at him; she knew she would giggle if she did.

"Her? That was Lisa? Naa, I'm sure that's my cousin Bobby's girl. I was just passing the time of day." He ran his hands around her waist and made to pull her to his muscle shirt. She giggled and slapped at his hands, "Stop that! I don't want kids next semester writing up what they saw in their weblogs for the world to read!"

"What? That they got the sexiest teacher in the country?" He behaved a bit and kissed her cheek, turning back to start the engine.

"What ya got there?" he nodded to the paper in her hand.

"It's your birthday present."

"A piece of paper?"

She gave it to him.

Dream

Enablers, UnLtd.
306 South Street, Top Floor
555-0816

Have you ever been awakened by cats knocking bins in the alley? Your dream becoming sepia toned... slipping away from you when you want it so much it hurts? You wished so much that it was true, grinding against the bed, uncertain of the words you said; out loud or in the dream?

Come... dare it to be so. What is real? What is a dream? Let us help you to believe... in Dream Enablers, UnLtd. Your dream will come true. Try us. What have you got to lose?​

He looked at her. "OK, we go there and what, my real present is on the roof?"

She frowned her question to him.

He pointed at the address. "Top floor - 306 South Street. Well that's - Pete Stone - the PI? - that's where his office is. Hey, you knew he got out the slammer? Some new forensic or something. Anyhow, he's having a grand reopening next week and I was around fixing the catering through a friend I have. I didn't see no new office of any dream..." he looked back at the paper, "enablers." You frowned at her. "This is what comes of reading too many of those trashy books. Fiction." He tapped his forehead. "Overactive imagination." He rolled his eyes. "This huckster'll get you to pay up front for nothing."

He turned the paper over. "Nice car though." The car he'd always dreamed of driving, the Ferrari was outside a big house. He peered; the guy cleaning the car looked a lot like him. And who was that woman on the porch swing? It was blurred but...he looked at Marylou.

"Car? What car?" She took the flyer back and looked at the picture. The house, the porch, the man and woman on the swing, she was nursing their first baby. Yes, a red car - but way off in the distance, didn't look more than a smudge.

"There," he pointed straight at the baby, "Ferrari."

"Odd name for a girl," she murmured, shaking her head. "I think we should go see them. Especially as I made an appointment for you in 20 minutes."

Dean pulled the Raybans down. "sure babe." Grinning, he slid a hand up her leg. "Where'd the stick shift go...ohh automatic...I always forget."

He fondled her thigh with a strong hand. She grinned and didn't remove his hand, "anything for a quick feel."Dean gunned the engine as the stereo blared.

306 South Street was a squat building of four floors. Dean pulled into the parking lot and they made their way to the entrance; the glass had a crack in it and the board inside showing the office occupiers didn't mention Dream Enablers.

"Come on, let's go, it's a scam," he said.

She shook her head and pushed him towards the stairs and they trudge up to the top of the building. They walked down the corridor. Patterson's Exterminators. Lafayette and Co, Attorneys. Stone's office at the end had a hand written note taped to the frosted glass, Re-opens next week. Dean turned around and shrugged. They walked back a little disappointed and reached the head of the stairs. A small man in a black suit, with pebble glasses on his nose raised a homburg hat to them and turned to the wall and continued walking up invisible steps until in a cloud of blue stars he disappeared.

"Holy shit," Dean was shaking his head, "Whatever I'm on it's good stuff."

"You're not on anything Dean," Marylou said in a small voice. She trembled and leaned against him. "I saw..." they both described the same scene. She swallowed and moved towards the wall; Dean made to reach for her and hold her back but she put her hand on his chest and walked forward, lifting up a bobby soxed and pumped foot. She put it down and there was a small flurry of gold stars. Nervously and almost losing her balance she raised her other foot and it too rested on the first invisible stair.

Dean crossed himself. "Holy Mother..." he walked forward and got down on his knees to slide his hand under her feet. "This is some deeply wierd shit, Marylou."

Starting to enjoy it and looking up where she saw more stairs appearing, she held out her hand excitedly to him. She waggled her fingers for him to hold her hand; as he did so she started to run up.

"WOOOoooaaa..." Deans exclaimation faded slowly down the corridor as stars
trailed after their figures as they disappeared into the wall.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

"What's up there, MaryLou?"

Stroking his hair, she kissed him, murmuring into the kiss. "Things you won't forget."

Dean looked trustingly into her eyes, arched an eyebrow and tried to smile. "Okay."

"Ready?" she asked. When he nodded, she smiled. "Okay then. With each step... in time. One. Two. Three. Four... " She began to sing.

"Ferrety, ferrety fish.
Ferrety, ferrety fish.
Ferrety, ferrety, ferrety, ferrety,
Ferrety, ferrety fish!"

Always a sport, Dean joined in, not stopping until they reached the top of the invisible stairs and another corridor. The doors looked similar but the names on them... Still holding hands, they looked closely.

The frosted glass on the first door didn't seem to hold the words "MermaidsRUs", they seemed to float above it. A tiny animated graphic of a green whitehorse blown sea and a fish tail, flapping as it disappeared beneath the waves, repeating itself.

"Wow! Look at this one!" MaryLou exclaimed as Dean peered down the impossibly long corridor. "Unicorn Capture."

Still holding hands, they walked a little further. There were tiny sounds coming from some of the door signs.

"The Starry Messenger?" MaryLou kissed him again and tugged on his hand. The next door was Gabriel's: Wing Repairs Overnight. They could see a light shining inside.

"Whoa! What is this place?"

MaryLou shrugged and smiled. Knocking on the glass and opening the door, she poked her head inside. "Can we come in?" Laughing softly, she tugged Dean's hand to follow.

A man sat at a table with a wing on his lap, painstakingly reattaching feathers. He looked up over the rims of his bifocals and smiled as they came in. He looked ancient, she thought, though his eyes sparkled with youth.

"I'm so glad you came," he giggled as if he knew them.

"But what is this place?" Dean asked again, looking around at the racks of wings. Some new, some old... some almost bare of feathers.

The old man approached, slipping his arms around their shoulders. "Everyone has their guardian angels," he explained. "It's hard work and sometimes they don't manage to keep people on the straight and narrow. They lose feathers. I replace them." He shrugged at the simplicity of it.

He noticed them looking at the nearly bare wings. "Aah."

"That one must have really fu... screwed up, huh?" Dean commented.

He patted his shoulder. "Free will, you know. Sometimes, even an angel's voice doesn't stop people from... ending it all. It's hard on an angel. I put them back together.

"That's so sad," MaryLou sighed.

The man, who they now realized was Gabriel, himself, nodded in agreement then whispered conspiratorially. "Want to know the next winning lottery numbers?" Cocking his head, he stopped as if he were listening to someone. "What? Dammit! What do you mean, altering space and time? Pah!" Turning back to them, he shook his head sadly. "Okay. It seems I can't give them to you."

"That's okay," MaryLou chuckled.

"Maybe the Dream Enablers, UnLtd. will help you anyway," he grinned, slapping Dean's back before picking up the wing and beginning to sew again.

Summarily dismissed, the couple stepped back into the corridor, continuing further down it. On the other side of the hall, there was another door:

Dream Enablers, UnLtd.​

Stuck to the glass with a piece of scotch tape was a small, handwritten sign:

Out to dinner.
See you in your dreams.​

"Well, guess that's it," Dean said, tugging MaryLou's hand and starting back the way they'd come.

"Not a chance!" She tugged back looking at her wristwatch. "We have an appointment for five and it's still ten minutes to. They probably just didn't take it down."

Knocking on the glass first, MaryLou turned the knob and the door opened. "I told you," she mouthed, walking in and pulling him along. "Hello?"

At first glance, the office appeared empty. Dean yanked at her arm when a seemingly disembodied voice called out cheerfully. "Hiya. You must be Ms. Fischer, and you must be Dean. I'll be right down."

Down? MaryLou and Dean looked up at the same time to see a young woman in an obscenely short skirt descending the rungs of a ladder, her arms full of books. "I'm Marvels," she said when she reached the bottom, setting the books on the desk.

"You sure are," Dean mumbled under his breath, eliciting a sharp pinch from MaryLou. "Ow!"

Marvels smiled broadly, gesturing toward a couple of chairs positioned near where she stood. "Please. Sit. The Professor will be with you shortly."

Dean repositioned his so that it was almost touching the one that MaryLou was sitting in, twining his fingers through hers once he settled.

"Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Something... other?"

MaryLou groaned audibly and rolled her eyes, but this time it was Dean who pinched. "Ow!"

Grinning sheepishly, Dean nodded and asked if they had beer, adding that MaryLou would like a coffee. Light with a Sweet 'n Low.

"Coming right up!" Flicking what must have been a switch that neither of them could see, a partition opened in the bookcase and she slipped through. "Be right back."

 

[chris2c4u]

It was only a few moments later when Marvels returned with what seemed the most perfect coffee and beer either of them had tasted. She didn't bother asking if they were OK, she knew they were. Flicking her hair back over her shoulder she turned and began sorting the books she had brought down indicating that the Professor would be along directly.

After a few minutes they heard tapping that seemed to be coming from the other side of the bookcase. A muffled voice called out, "Marvels?"

With a resigned sigh she went to the bookcase. "Yes Professor?"

"I can't seem to find the handle."

"Stand back Professor." With a smile to Dean and Marylou she pressed the switch and there was a slight squeal followed by a thud.

"I told you to stand back..." She bent down and Dean dribbled his beer, transfixed as Marylou rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the ribs.

With a struggle she manhandled the professor to his feet and pushed him back a bit. In a stage whisper she hissed, "did you follow the dress code? You know, only wearing things I labelled A with other A's? Oh! No you did not. You can't wear a pink tie with brown and yellow corduroy. Take it off, come on. There are customers waiting. No, not the jacket, the tie..."

There was the sound of a scuffle before a lanky gentleman dressed - not unexpectedly - in corduroy, appeared his shirt rakishly open at the neck. "Yes, well, hello. Welcome to Dream Enablers." He shook hands with them both and then sat behind a large dark wooden desk on which sat various higgledy piggledy piles of paper and several leather bound books.

"We were wondering..." Marylou pulled up the slightly crumpled flyer and looked at it. "What exactly - well - I'd like to give Dean here a gift...a dream?"

"You've come to the right place then!" the Professor beamed and pulled the pencil hidden in the "distiguished grey" above his ear and took a piece of paper, taking down their names, height, weight, shoe size and whether they liked chocolate fudge ice cream. He glanced up. "Oh. Security questions. Just in case."

"In case what Prof?" Dean was suspicious.

"It can be quite something getting some people's dreams in order. Occasionally wires get crossed and other people's wishes can occasionally interlope. We just use the questions as a check we're performing well and you get your heart's desire." He smiled and Dean sniffed and took another sip of beer.

"So, young man, you will be the actual dreamer?"

Dean nodded.

"And the wish you have? One you really want?"

Dean blushed a little. "Look, I don't want to be too ambitious here..."

The Professor nodded again. "Yes, start out with something small; you can always come back again!"

Dean didn't get it. "Hey, why aren't people coming in here wishing for world peace or something? And - well, look, what's this gonna cost?" Marylou frowned and started to complain that this was her gift but the Professor waved his hand.

"World peace...Hmmm. Well, the wishes have to be something that the person themselves could actually achieve by themselves, given time. Now, perhaps you could achieve world peace but the result of your dream would more than likely be a good neighbourhood watch and reduced crime in your street for several years." He shrugged. "We don't make all the rules here. As for cost - it's free."

"Free? Like, you're giving away fu...who knows what and it's free?"

The Professor nodded. "What we need, we dream. We don't need to charge."

Dean shook his streetwise head, unable to get it around this but at least it wasn't going to cost anything when it all turned out to be some wierdo's idea of a joke.

"So, Mr. Racculia. Your wish?"

He took the flyer from Marylou and looked at the Ferrari. He handed it over to the Professor. "I want that."

"You'll have to be a bit more specific," said the Professor. "You see, we all see different pictures."

Dean snorted, "yeah, sure. So what do you see Prof?"

"I've been working on a particularly difficult translation from Sumerian lately. I'd like it to be done." He blushed a little. "I do feel I cheat somewhat when I do that though. And Miss?" He held out the paper to Marylou and she stammered through her description of family life before handing it to Dean who just said, "oh gee." He liked Marylou's idea. He really did. But he still saw the Ferrari. Dean and Marylou looked at one another then at the flyer. They gave up trying to understand it and she sighed at his wish and muttered, "men."

"Then the Ferrari it will be." The Professor completed his notes and rummaged in the desk drawer puuling out a delapidated green woolly hat. "Tonight, if you could sleep in this..."

"Oh man, come on, this is such an obvious like, April fools, or something. I don't know how you pulled the stunt with the stairs but hell, this is too much."

"He'll wear it Professor," Marylou assured and they both signed the paper before leaving. In the office they heard the strains of "ferrety, ferrety fish..." fade away as Marvels called out, "have fun." The Professor asked her to retrieve some books from the top shelf and reclined in his chair in anticipation.

****

It was his birthday and they didn't get finished at his family's until late and she had to drive him to her apartment as the wine had flowed freely. They tended to swerve a bit even so, as she fended off what seemed to her as his octopus like number of hands.

It was her start of vacation, so they celebrated in bed for quite some time until Dean collapsed, half on top of her and growled in pleasure. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned his head and laid it on her breast and opened one eye.

"Ohhh nooo, not that." She dangled the hat over his face. He grabbed it and tugged it down almost over his ears and she giggled as he crawled off her and immediately started to snore. She kissed his cheek and covered his naked body up and turned out the light.

****

The road was clear, the seat hugged him. He stroked the steering wheel and changed gear via the button under his thumb. "Wooaaah"

The thrust pushed him back into his seat and he was through the gearbox in seconds and effortlessly eating up the miles on the desert highway. He looked across and Marylou sat beside him, the wind in her hair as they flew down the road. He didn't bat an eye when Marylou sprouted wings, waved and flew out of the window. He waved watching her rise in the sky in the rearview and pressed the accelerator.

It was odd not to have the road beneath him for a moment as he took off into space.

"Uh oh," he said as the car arced downwards heading for the bottom of a canyon. The flock of storks that arrived to catch it didn't surprise him either and they were heading for a soft landing until he spotted the rabbit hole. The car, of course, fitted it and he bumped and weaved his way around the roots and pebbles. He turned the car's lights on and drove to a halt at the bottom.

Turning to look at the small dog that sat in the passenger seat he nodded. "Yep, you're right Toto. This sure as hell ain't Kansas."

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Marylou peered at the alarm clock and groaned. Six thirty on the first day of summer vacation and she was wide awake. There oughta be a law... or something, she thought and then giggled, turning toward Dean to wake him up in one of his favorite ways.

The green hat was there, but Dean was gone. "Damn!" She'd actually forgotten about the dream thing. Eager to hear how it had been, Marylou grabbed it and scrambled out of bed, not bothering to grab her robe. "Dean?" He was probably making coffee.

"Huh." He hadn't said anything about going out early this morning and the bathroom had been empty when she passed. It wasn't like this was a big apartment, either. Dean just wasn't here.

Setting the hat on the table, Marylou put coffee on and poured herself a glass of juice. Wherever he was, he'd show up sooner or later, she thought, padding back down the hall to the bedroom to slip on a tee shirt.

When she hadn't heard anything from him by nine, Marylou decided to call him on his cel and find out what was what. Propping the phone between her chin and shoulder, she poured another cup and waited for him to pick up.

Puzzled as to why he hadn't, it took her a minute or two to realize that she could hear the distinctive tone of his cel ringing in the bedroom. Setting the kitchen phone down, she went back to her room. His cel, his car keys and his wallet were on the floor on top of the pile of clothes he'd taken off the night before. Now that was something... Dean never went out without either his cel or his wallet.

A tingling sensation started at the nape of her neck and spread until she was covered in gooseflesh. Maybe something had gone wrong with the dream. Was that even possible? Running back to the kitchen, she pressed down on the button to disconnect and hunted through her purse for the flyer from Dream Enablers, UnLtd.. They were going to get an earful and she was going to get her man back.

Marylou paced as the number connected and began to ring. Once. Twice. Six times and finally... "Hello?"

"You have reached Dream Enablers, UnLtd.," the voice that was unmistakably Marvels said. "We're sorry but we can't come to the phone right now. If you leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as possible." The sound of a man giggling in the back ground and a hurried "Shh!" from Marvels preceded the tone.

"Hello? This is Marylou Fischer. Remember me? My fiancé, Dean Raccuglia, and I were in the office yesterday for a dream. Listen. I don't know what happened, but he seems to have dis... "

"Damn!" She swore, slamming down the receiver. The frigging machine had cut her off. Okay. If they didn't want to answer their phone, then she would just have to go there in person.

Throwing on a pair of jeans and her tennis shoes, Marylou snatched up the keys to the Jeep and raced back to the kitchen for her purse and the flyer. It took her less than fifteen minutes to drive crosstown, a trip that normally took upwards of a half hour.

Once inside the building she made her way slowly toward where she knew the "stairs" had been the day before. This whole thing was so insane!! Facing the wall, Marylou lifted her foot, half expecting the toe of her sneaker to collide with sheetrock. When it didn't, she took the steps two at a time, rushing breathlessly down the hall once she reached the top floor.

The "Out to Lunch" sign was still taped to the glass, but this time Marylou didn't stop to knock, simply turning the knob. If it was locked, so be it. She'd break the glass... Whatever. It's not likely there'd be an alarm anyhow, she thought.

Surprised that the door opened readily, she blew into the room like a hurricane, remembering to look up this time in case that Marvels chick was on the ladder again. "Anybody here???"

"Well, hello, Ms. Fischer! What brings you... "

Marylou spun around. It was Marvels' voice all right, but she sure wasn't on the ladder. "Where... "

"Over here."

She crossed the room in the direction of a hand waggling over the top of the desk. The Professor was laying flat on his back with Marvels perched neatly on his chest. "He fell off," she said by way of explanation. "He thought he'd get a book himself for a change."

Marylou's hands were clenched into fists, and she was hard put to restrain herself from yanking either of the two idiots up by their necks. "Where is he? What have you done with Dean?"

The Professor blinked and looked at his assistant around his skewed glasses. "I thought you phoned?"

"I didn't get a chance. You fell down... "

"Ahem... " the Professor said, clearing his throat and straightening his bow tie. "Help me up, Marvels. You have some explaining to do."

An hour later, Marylou didn't feel as though the problem had been sorted at all. Something had gone wrong -- obviously -- and there was only one way to try to get Dean back. She had to go fetch him.

 

[chris2c4u]

The dog became a rabbit. A white rabbit in a waistcoat, checking his watch and tutting, "oh dear. Oh deary me."

"Now you I know," said Dean. "Alice, right?" The small furry creaure stood on his hind legs and bowed. "Star of stage, screen, radio and let us not forget, book."

"Cool," Dean raised his hand in a high five. The rabbit jumped up and paw and hand met. "Now, you'll have to excuse me," said the rabbit, "I'm frightfully late." Jumping out of the car he scuttled over the hood and towards a small green door in the side of the burrow.

"Hey, man, how do I get out of here?"

The rabbit halted his pell mell dash and said, "follow me!"

Emerging from the car Dean headed towards the door. The rabit held the handle and turned to face Dean. "It may not be exactly what youy expect."

Dean tried to remember what happened to Alice as the rabbit opened the door and disappeared inside. Following, Dean felt a slight shiver as he emerged onto a swathe of green grass before a hill on which sat an imposing white stone castle. Looking around for the rabbit he just saw his tail disappearing down another hole.

"Guess I'm on my own." As the castle was the only building in view, he began to walk towards it.

The drawbridge was down and Dean started across when a squeaky voice called out, "Halt...who goes there...friend or foe?"

Dean looked around trying to locate the source of the voice. "Hey, I'm your friend, where you hidin?"

A small pile of metal rose to the commanding height of three feet six inches and began to walk towards him. The knight - for so he apeared to be had armour that would have fitted someone a little less vertically challenged and his helmet kept slipping over his face causing him to veer erratically towards the edge of the drawbridge. Eventually, hands on hips he looked up under the edge of the helmet.

"What business do you have in Camelot?"

Dean had heard of Camelot too and knew The Sword in the Stone pretty well. "I'm here to...swear loyalty to my king and offer my services as a knight."

The small chap looked him up and down. "You don't look much like a knight to me."

"That's - that's because my costume - I mean my armour - is in the baggage train," Dean gestured vaguely behind him. "Now, stand aside, varlet, or it'll not go well with you when I am in conclave with his majesty, King Arthur."

"Look matey, the only conclave you're going to get here is this one..." magically a large and deadly looking broadsword appeared in the little man's hands and he seemed quite capable of doing some damage with it.

"Hey, now, take it easy little guy..."

"LITTLE GUY! WHY YOU..." A dark shadow suddenly covered them and a sound like a flapping sail made them both look up.

"Oh my..."

They both made a dash for the gate as the dragon fell towards them with a siren like sound of a divebomber. They made the cover of the gate just in time and the dragon got his claws stuck in the wood of the drawbridge.

"Oh, bugger," he said in a rather fetching Welsh lilting voice. He turned his sharp scaly head towards them and fixed them with beady yellow eyes.

"Now then boyos, don't you get any ideas about slaying me while I'm in this pickle. I still have th old fire breathing you know." He blew two smokerings out of his nostrils and pulled his claws free.

"I'm going to get you, Gawain, you see if I don't."

The little knight made rude gestures and lowered the portcullis. "Not today you oversided iguana."

With a sheet of yellow flame making them scuttle back, the dragon took off as other knights began to appear out of the castle, all eager to have a go at the dragon.

"Oi, Galahad," Gawain called out. "Take this interloper to the dungeons will you?"

The contrast with Gawain was striking; Gallahad was over six feet tall and was not a man to be trifled with, even if he was only in his undergarments, chain mail and his helmet. The chance to have a go at the dragon had come at an impropitious moment re his amorous activities with one of Guinevere's lady's in waiting. He picked Dean up and threw him over his shoulder.

"Strong silent type eh, Gallahad? I guess the ladies go for that here?" Conversation not being Gallahad's strength, dean gave up and was thrown into a cell onto damp straw. A tiny window, well out of reach supplied what little light and air there was.

Dean sat for what seemed like hours until a rattling of keys and a small light presaged the appearance of someone bringing food. The person was covered with a cloak, it seemed but he got a glimpse of a face as a bowl of something not too tasy and a hunk of bread were pushed into his cell.

"Marylou?" He peered again. "Is that you?"

 

[Maid of Marvels]

The Professor, or rather Marvels speaking for him, suggested that it was essential for MaryLou to stay with them so that they could keep an eye on her. It wouldn't do, the Professor added to his assistant's chagrin, to have two dreamers lost and when all was said and done, she could do nothing but agree. She was willing to do anything they wanted to get Dean back.

Bidding MaryLou to follow, Marvels and the Professor led her into the area behind the bookcases. It was impossibly large, but nothing about Dream Enablers UnLtd., or the twosome who ran it, surprised her anymore. "Just in here," Marvels said, pointing as they stepped into a room lined with various types of unidentifiable instruments and other apparatus in much the same way as the outer office was lined with books.

The Professor moved immediately to a desk and sat while Marvels guided MaryLou into another, smaller room that could easily have been plucked from a local motel except for a couple of machines that were placed strategically beside the bed. "Television, bathroom, Sealy Posture-Pedic... extra firm," Marvels gestured in a way that put MaryLou in mind of Vanna White. Opening a drawer on the nightstand, she added "Gideon's Bible."

"I'll take a vowel. And what time is check-out?"

"Excuse me?" Marvels blinked, confused.

"Never mind. Let's just get this over with, okay? I want my man back."

"Oh. Good looking chap." That, at least the woman understood. "There's a gown in the bathroom you can change into and then we'll get you hooked up so we can start."

"Hooked up?"

Marvels nodded, untangling a spaghetti-like mass of wires that were in a compartment under one of the machines. "You won't have to sleep right away, but the sooner the better... You understand."

Twenty minutes later found MaryLou Fischer found herself propped in the bed, electrodes attached to her scalp and temples, under her chin, and others on her chest and leg. "This lets us measure brain waves, heart rate, and eye movements," Marvels explained as she added a sensor near her nose. "To measure airflow."

MaryLou nodded, her eyes widening as the young woman brandished two straps resembling seatbelts from a car. "These go around your ribs and tummy. Breathing movements. Suck it in, Ms. Fischer," she prompted, slipping them into position. "Almost finished now."

The last device, or so MaryLou thought, was a clip placed on her index finger. "Blood oxygen levels," she was informed. "Oh... we can't forget the most important thing of all," Miss Marvels grinned proudly, pulling a woolen cap out from under the pillow.

"But Dean's was green... "

"Uh huh. But you'd look sallow in that color. Pink will make you look all rosy and cherubic."

"Just get on with it," MaryLou grumbled, grabbing the hat and pulling it down over her head. "Now are we ready?"

Marvels looked around the room as she turned on the machines, checking the dials and readouts. "But of course. Was there something you wanted? Room service stops at eleven. Sweet dreams!"

"Sweet dreams my ass," Marylou grumped to herself. "And if I don't get Dean back, I'll be your worst nightmare."

After what seemed like an eternity, MaryLou began to feel sleepy... or maybe she was just bored. Either way, it didn't matter much as she had finally managed to fall asleep.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call.​

MaryLou startled awake, her consciousness assaulted by a cacophony of sights, smells and sounds. Looking around, she blinked... and blinked again. Somehow she'd ended up at a nightmarishly Kafkaesque carnival and was viewing it all through funhouse mirrors.

The cloyingly sweet smell of popcorn, cotton candy and hot dogs permeated the air as food and drink booths blurred, whipping past at breakneck speed and grotesquely distorted faces moved in and out of focus. The nasal intonations of shills exhorting folks to "step right up" clashed unceremoniously with shrill, high-pitched, maniacal laughter. And, all the while, discordantly surreal music from a calliope played somewhere in the background.

Gripping the pole bisecting the dragon she was riding on the Magic Roundabout for support, MaryLou breathed a sigh of relief as the ride ground to a halt. Slipping off, she wobbled unsteadily like a sailor rediscovering his land legs after a long voyage. "Terra firma," she murmured, grateful to be back on solid ground again. The world had stopped spinning, but things only went from bad to worse.

"Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!"

A large white rabbit in a waistcoat checked his pocket watch and looked up at her. "You don't look like Alice," he commented and shrugged. "Well, there's nothing can be done about that now."

MaryLou had to agree on both counts. She certainly wasn't Alice nor could she stay where she was and rescue Dean. It being a no-brainer, she strove to keep up as they wove their way through the crush of carnival-goers and out into a large field.

"Come along. Come along," he urged impatiently after checking his watch for the umpteenth time.

"Do you know where Dean is?" MaryLou asked just as he broke into a run and disappeared down... you guessed it... an improbably large rabbit hole.

"Curiouser and curiouser," she mumbled, making a mental note to strangle Marvels and that scatter-brained Professor at the next available opportunity.

******​

It wasn't so much a hole as it was a tunnel that led out into the forepaws of a very large and very curmudgeonly... dragon. If Dean ever made another remark about her overzealous imagination, she was going to...

"Now this gives new meaning to the term fast food," he rumbled, tendrils of smoke curling up from his nostrils as he moaned. "I hope you're not too crunchy."

MaryLou looked up, and up, and up again as the behemoth stretched and lumbered to his feet. She gasped as his cavernous mouth opened wide to reveal a near-perfect set of teeth that put her in mind of stalactites and stalagmites.

"Crunchy? Tough as leather, I'd say," she waffled, trying to figure out how to avoid being barbecued on the spot. That's when she saw it. "Don't you ever brush?"

"Brush?"

"Your teeth. You've got something stuck... " She crooked her finger at him, beckoning him closer. "There," MaryLou said, tapping her hand against a patina-covered helmet stuck between his incisors. Helmets meant knights and maybe even dreaming men. Perhaps, she thought, he'd help her if she helped him. "You know... I bet I could get that out for you."

The dragon turned his head to look at her rather suspiciously with one wary golden eye. "No swords?"

"Do I look like I've got a sword?" she asked, holding her arms out and turning in circles.

"Well... now you mention it. No."

"Well, then. All we need is something to pry it out with." In lieu of floss, she was looking around for something suitably tooth-pickish when her eyes fell on a large branch. "There!" she said, walking over to it and picking it up. "I think this will do the trick."

Using the branch like a lever, she prized the helmet free, barely avoiding being hit on the head with it as it popped out.

The dragon snapped his mouth shut and sucked air through his teeth. "Much better," he said. "Now it doesn't matter if you're crunchy or not. I can chew again!"

"Oh, no you don't!" MaryLou growled, furious at his ingratitude. "I helped you and this is the thanks I get? Do you have any idea what a dentist would have charged you to do that? I am so out of here!"

Turning on her heels, she started to stomp away and then reconsidered. "Which way to the nearest castle? I'm looking for my fiancé. You haven't seen him, have you? Black, curly hair. Kinda thin and tallish. Definitely not good eating."

"Maybe I have... and maybe I haven't... " the dragon leered, rising up to his full height.

Fed up with Dream Enablers, UnLtd., Marvels and the Professor, MaryLou was in no mood for evasiveness from an overgrown lizard. Picking up the helmet from where it had fallen, she cocked her arm back and aimed, hitting him square on the snout. "Now I'll ask you again... Have you seen him?"

A giant dragon tear rolled down his cheek and splashed to the ground, creating a smallish pond as it landed. "Now why did you have to go and do that?" he whined. "I was only teasing."

 

[chris2c4u]

A giant dragon tear rolled down his cheek and splashed to the ground, creating a smallish pond as it landed. "Now why did you have to go and do that?" he whined. "I was only teasing."

MaryLou bit her lip as she saw the dragon sniffling. "Err...sorry." She put her hands behind her back and smiled in what she hoped was a winning manner. The dragon turned up his nose snootily.

"Ask me again, nicely," he said studying his talons.

MaryLou cleared her throat. "Mr Dragon, have you seen my friend Dean, please?"

Turning his head he gave her a baleful glance accompanied by what could only be described as a smile and a smoke ring from his nostrils.

"Yes, I was going to eat him," there was a sound like an old tractor engine starting up as the dragon wheezily laughed. He saw MaryLou put her hands on her hips.

"Uh oh," he took a step back and kicked the helmet out of her reach.

"But you didn't eat him?" she said, her eyes narrowing as she looked around for something to tackle the lizard with.

"No, he's fine. Well, probably not exactly fine..."

"What?" MaryLou stamped her foot with frustration.

The dragon tilted his head to the side. "He's in there. Prisoner I should think. Nothing to do with me!" he hastily qualified the comment.

MaryLou's jaw dropped open. "What? Why? I mean..." she raised her arms and let them fall in frustration with Dream Enablers UnLtd. "This, Professor, is no fun," she muttered, hoping that back in the office she was talking in her sleep. She sighed.

"Well, we'll just have to get him out," she said matter of factly.

The dragon blinked. "We? What's all this we?"

"Call it a fee for dental services."

The dragon opened and closed his mouth experimentally and sniffed. "I suppose I could spare you some time," not telling her how he felt much better since the helmet was removed.

MaryLou nodded. "Do you think I could have a lift? Over the castle wall? Just drop me off in the courtyard if you like, I'll take it from there."

The dragon spread his wings (there was a strong scent of roses; lucky for MaryLou dragon body odour is quite pleasant) and a jet of orange flame.

"Super! Scaring people is what I do best. Apart from eating them - but I have been thinking of giving that up you know; if they'd give me a few cows now and then instead of virgins I'b be quite happy. Come on then, your carriage awaits."

The dragon extended his scaly foreleg to allow MaryLou to clamber up and sit astride his bumpy spine and hold on to his neck. He gave a little shiver. "Ooohhh that's nice, yes, right there, tight as a knot that muscle..." MaryLou sighed and massaged the creature's neck.

"Right, hold on tight," He said and flapped into the air. He gained height rapidly and MaryLou, the wind in her hair, the landscape on view for miles around smiled to herself and almost forgave Dream Enablers UnLtd. After pointing out the farmsteads he had terrified and the general direction his horde of gold lay in, he circled over the castle, banking to the left making MaryLou squeak in alarm and clutch his scales. The dragon chuckled, "You're safe," he said and began to descend in circles, making sure that the people in the castle got a good view of him. He flew over the battlements and women and children ran for cover. He blew a sheet of flame and let out a roar.

None of the knights were in view and he had managed to clear the ground of people as he landed and graciously extended his leg again. MaryLou kissed the top of his head and he let out a wheezy giggle. "The way in is that way - if I were you I'd pinch that cloak." He pointed to the clothing discarded by someone who had run away from him. "Good luck with the young man, I'm going to make myself scarce." With that he flapped and left the courtyard in a haze of floral body odour.

She donned the cloak quickly and headed in the small door and straight into a collection of nervous knights debating who should go outside. As soon as she appeared the language changed.

"No, I will go first, alone," said Gawain; MaryLou looked down to the assorted collection of three feet high armour that seemed to have just spoken. The other five knights all complained, claiming they should go.

A lanky young man with a crown with a singly ruby set in it turned to MaryLou. "Tell your monarch wench," he asked is a reedy voice, "is the foul beast still out there bringing terror to my people?"

MaryLou frowned - he was the king? "Err, no, your - majesty? I think he's gone now." There was a collective sigh of relief covered up quickly by remarks about the dragon obviously seeing the collection of knights on their way to destroy him. Slowly they began to wander off - except for Gawain who peered out from under his visor.

"Just a minute, who's this then?" He peered at MaryLou who attempted a curtsey. "What's a girlie doing in trousers?"

MaryLou pulled the cloak around her but it was too late the others were back.

"She's another one," said a knight from the back, "like the chap we got earlier. Weirdos."

"Probably from Cornwall," some one else ventured to general mumblings of assent.

"No - err...I'm - err..." MaryLou tried her winning smile and another curtsey.

"Lock her up, if the dragon wants a feed, then he can have the pair of em!" The king giggled at his brilliant idea and there was much fawning from the knights at his sagacity. MaryLou was put over Gallahad's shoulder and she was not best pleased at where he put his hand.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

The hand on her tush was the straw that broke the midget's back... or would have if he'd not been togged out as a walking sardine tin. "Let me down!" MaryLou demanded, surprised to find herself slithering to the ground at almost the exact moment.

"Well, well... It looks as though someone has forgotten to give the poor lad his tiffin," the can murmured as he fiddled with a key in the lock of what was obviously a door to a cell.

"Poor lad? Who's in there? Dean?? Why, if you've harmed on hair on his head, I'll... " She raised her hand to thwap the little runt when the door screeched open and she heard, "MaryLou? Is that you?"

Peering into the darkness, MaryLou took a step forward. "Dean?? Is it really you?? Oh, shit!" She realized her mistake too late as the door clanged shut behind her.

"Open up, you little cretin!" she swore through the tiny grate. "This minute!!"

The sound of high-pitched (and a little nervous sounding) laughter was her only reply as she heard Gawain skitter away like a beetle across the stones of the dungeon floor.

Resigned to the fact that she was a prisoner, too, MaryLou turned toward Dean as his arms encircled her. "Mare... It's so good to see... "

"Don't they believe in baths around here? You smell worse than a garbage truck on a hundred degree day in the city!" MaryLou started to back away and sighed. This was her lover, her fiancé... the man she intended to spend the rest of her life with. Besides, it wasn't his fault that he'd gotten lost in a dream and ended up in a dungeon. It was...

They spun around as the door came open once again. "C'mere you, you... weeble! I've got something for you," she hissed, thinking it was Gawain again. She should have been so lucky.

As her eyes adjusted she saw that it was not Gawain. It was a mountain of a man. Actually, there were a couple and together they made up a whole range for Pete's sake. Before either of them could protest, they were slung over shoulders with no more effort than another might have hefted a sack of potatoes and carried off into what appeared to be a large courtyard with a very large crowd surrounding what appeared to be a... what were they called? The things they hung people from. MaryLou's mind was whirling with the implications when they were deposited unceremoniously on a platform and nooses placed around their necks.

"Good going, MaryLou. Some birthday present. Dream Enablers, UnLtd.," Dean croaked.

"Gallows!!" she shouted, her memory suddenly refreshed.

"What?"

"It's a gallows!!" she repeated. "We're going to die!"

"Not if I can help it," growled a voice as the sky suddenly darkened and she found herself being lifted off the scaffolding and carried away to the plaintive sound of Dean's voice calling her name.

"Dean!!"

******​

MaryLou woke with a start. The Professor was standing beside the bed, a concerned look on his face as he peered over the wire-rimmed glasses that were threatening to do a giant slalom off the end of his nose. "M-m-miz Fischer? Are you all right?" Spinning around, he knocked several of her connections loose as he called wildly for his nubile assistant before fainting dead away.

Furious in the face of Marvels' unflappable calm as she stepped over the Professor and sashayed closer, MaryLou was ready to throttle her when the young woman simply raised her hand up, palm forward, and said... "He's safe."

"How do you know? We were about to be hung!" Her hand went to her neck where just moments before a hemp rope necklace had been her only piece of jewelry.

"It seems, Ms. Fischer," Marvels said as she knelt beside the Professor, waving a bottle of smelling salts under his nose. "Dean erm... jumped."

Splutters and coughs from the prostrate professor signalled his revival. Marvels smiled, patting him fondly on his cheek and leaned in to whisper something in his ear that made the man blush a lovely shade of vermillion.

"So you see, Ms. Fischer... There's absolutely nothing to worry about. Dean is no longer on the gallows. He's not going to be hung."

"Okay then, Miss Prissy Pants! Then where is he? How come he's not here?" MaryLou shouted as she tried to release herself from the wires that were attached to her body.

"Erm... well... That part's not so easy. He got away, yes. He's left that dream, in fact, but... "

"But? But? But?!?"

Marvels wiped some stray spittle that had made its way across the distance between herself and MaryLou and smiled. "No need for name calling. He's gone from that dream to... another."

 

[chris2c4u]

"It's a gallows!!" she repeated. "We're going to die!"

"Not if I can help it," growled a voice as the sky suddenly darkened and she found herself being lifted off the scaffolding and carried away to the plaintive sound of Dean's voice calling her name.

"Dean!!"

"Did you like that then?" the dragon flapped his wings lazily, his claws encircling MaryLou's form easily.

"All in one flowing motion," he said and demonstrated, making MaryLou scream as he dropped her. He wheezily laughed and caught her quickly as she craned her head back and pointed.

"But - Dean! Can't you save him?"

"Oh," he said and banked steeply. "You want him too?" He started to head back to the gallows where a crowd had formed and appeared to be excitedly waving their arms about and pointing at it and at the sky. It took them a few moments to notice that the dragon was heading back but the fire-breather wasn't looking at them. He was peering with concern at MaryLou.

"I don't want to worry you," he said, "perhaps it's normal for your sort - but you appear to be becoming transparent." He held her up to the sky and she shrugged and waggled her fingers in a wave.

"I guess I'm waking up...nice to have met you," she said and blew him a kiss.

"Curiouser and curiouser," he said to himself and sighed as he headed down to make his second rescue fly past. When he got there though, he stared - there was no one in the second noose.

****

The words echoed in Dean's ears.

"Don't they believe in baths around here..."

There was a sound of giggling and Dean opened his eyes; the silk draperies hung around the large bathtub he was in. A scent of jasmine was on the air and, on beside the bathtub knelt four naked handmaidens, all busily washing his arms, legs and chest.

"Holy Moly, I got done in on the gallows and went to heaven," he moaned. The girls dutifully giggled and Dean grinned from ear to ear, looking them over happily.

"Now don't be shy, who wants to get in here with me? There's plenty of room." He playfully splashed them and a tall blonde girl got up and locked the bathroom door.

"Why you naughty prince, sire, locking us in like that so that Mom and Dad won't find you." She came up to his ear and nibbled it running her hand through his hair.

"Oh, Anna, you got the Prince's royal sword to rise outta the water like Excalibur!" the red head guffawed and the other two women clamped hands over their mouths so as not to make too much noise and have the fun interrupted by guards hammering at the door.

Dean's eyes bulged as he looked down to see a raven haired girl stroke his erection which stuck up rigid out of the water before she climbed over the side of the tub and straddled his hips.

He reached out on either side of the bath and his hands came into contact with soft, full breasts on both sides.

"Dream...Enablers..." he moaned. The raven haired girl put her hands on his chest and settled her tight pussy slowly around his cock, her eyes on his.

"Ugnnnnnnnnnlimited..."

 

[Maid of Marvels]

"I hear women in there, Sigmund," the Queen whispered over her shoulder to her husband as she stood ear to door outside her son's bath. "Egbert? Can you hear me? It's mummy, dear. Do you have... "

"Come along, dear," King Sigmund chided his wife. "It's only a few of his friends come to spend the night. We can discuss the marriage arrangements with him later." Sigmund tilted his head, listening. "Or tomorrow."

"Oh, how lovely!" his wife exclaimed. "Boys do so love playing with their toy boats in a tub full of bubbles. Why, I remember... "

"Yes, dear. Come along, dear," he sighed, tugging her along to the furthest section of the palace. By the sound of things, Egbert and his little "friends" were going to be quite loud.

"Sigmund!"

The King jumped at the strident tone in his wife's voice. "Yes, dear. Puppy biscuits."

"You haven't heard one thing I've said, have you??"

"Why, of course I have, dear. I was just... thinking about kingdomly things is all," he retorted, trying to bring his five foot frame up to a more regal five foot one.

"Ooooooh... Yummy," she twittered, her eyelashes fluttering as she fanned herself. "I love when you get all King Domly."

"Kingdomly. King dum lee. It's not at all the same, dear. See? Kingdomly."

"Uh huh. Shall we go down to the dungeon, Sire?"

"Erm... maybe in a bit. We're supposed to go meet with Hillary's parents, remember? To sign the final papers for the alliance."

"Ohhhh... Yes, in all the excitement just now, I had forgotten." The Queen nodded sadly then suddenly brightened. "Siggy?"

"Yes, dear."

"Do you think they'd be up for a foursome?"

"Perhaps for bridge or golf, dear. I'm not sure they'd be interested in the type you mean."

With the paperwork signed and sealed, the two kingdoms of Perversia and Vanillia were allies, their children to be married ASAP.

As round as she was tall (and she was quite tall), Princess Pansy was having a temper tantrum that shook the pictures hanging on the walls. "But, Dadddddeeeeeeeee! I heard he does anything and anyone that's not nailed down."

"Now now, my little flower," her Dadddddeeeeeeeee crooned. "I asked. It's just school mates. You understand. Boys."

"He's gay???"

"I... I... " her mother blushed sixteen shades of red and deferred to her husband who was busy catching a Ming vase as it toppled off of a shelf. "George?"

"No, no, my most precious little rosebud. He's not gay. He just has... friends." King Dadddddeeeeeeeee sighed, caught between a rock (his daughter) and a hard place (his wife). He really did need that alliance. Siggie had even thrown in a golf course this afternoon after his wife started chattering about foursomes.

"I want to have sex, dammit! But not with some pox-ridden Romeo. He had better have the huge cock I heard he has! Did you check?" The pulchritudinous princess pouted.

King Dadddddeeeeeeeee leaned toward his swooning wife, waved the smelling salts under her nose and whispered. "We'll set it up for day after tomorrow latest."

Meanwhile... back in the bath...

"Ohhhh... bay beeeee... harder... faster... oooh... deeper!" Egbert... erm... Dean's eyes rolled back in his head as he came, and came and came some more.

"He's looking a bit prunish, don't you think?" Delilah whispered behind her hand to Pammie.

"Uh huh, but I still want another go. You?"

"You bet!"

All the Prince could do was groan.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Meanwhile... back at Dream Enablers, UnLtd.​

"Well? What are you waiting for!" MaryLou demanded, waving her arms, the disconnected wires waving like cobras. "Hook me back up so I can go save Dean!"

"Yes, yes," Marvels replied, her apathetic demeanor seeming quite cold-blooded from the other's point of view.

Within a few minutes, the phlegmatic floozy had reattached everything that had come loose and helped the Professor from the room as well. "Sweet dreams, Ms. Fischer."

"And if they're not, I'm going to be your worst nightmare," MaryLou mumbled as she eased herself back onto the pillows and closed her eyes. She couldn't even imagine what kind of danger her Dean was in now. Poor baby.

 

[chris2c4u]

Delilah frowned. She reached down and grasped the shrivelled remains of Egbert's manhood. She looked at him as he smiled woozly and shrugged.

"Men," she sighed. She stepped out of the bath and Pammie stared at him.

"You mean that's it?"

"Like I said, Men." Delilah grinned at Pammie, who grinned back.

"Your room or mine," she breathed and they walked off hand in hand.

Egbert struggled in the tub and managed to sit himself up but on trying to get out he upset the bath and ended up on his side, the water spilling over the floor.

His faithful butler came to his aid, reminding him of his forthcoming marriage to Princess Pansy.

He gurgled.

"Show me her portrait again," he wheezed.

"Are you sure sir? You tried to burn it last time."

Egbert grunted and waved and his manservant produced the canvas, covered with a cloth.

"Are you sure sir?"

"When do I marry her?"

The gentleman's gentleman cleared his throat.

"This afternoon sir."

Dean / Egbert gestured, knowing if he married then he would be Egbert forever.

"Let me see."

The servant removed the cloth.

Dean fainted.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

when the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go...​

"You! You there!" someone shouted just as MaryLou realized she was hanging precariously from a hole in well... to her it was the ceiling, but it didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that she'd not only landed, but fallen through a murder hole in the floor above.

"I say!" the guard repeated. "This is no place to practice your acrobatics."

"I'm sorry, sir. Truly. I'm just looking for Dean and if you wouldn't mind staying right where you are, I'll be right... " Gauging the distance to the ground and the effort it would take to haul herself upward, she closed her eyes and let go.

It was a perfect dismount, though there were no judges holding up scorecards nor an enthusiastic crowd shouting "huzzah". At least, she considered, eyeing the crumpled form beneath her warily, she hadn't broken anything. Looking around, MaryLou rose quickly to her feet and made a dash for the entrance of the castle... and hopefully Dean.

"You! You there! I say... "

MaryLou skidded to a halt and sighed resignedly, certain she was destined for the dungeon yet again. At this rate she would never find her fiancé.

"That was a clumsy bit of acrobatics. Have you considered tumbling?"

She winced, remaining completely still.

"I say. Turn around boy," the man said. "Let me see you."

Boy? Talk about weird dreams, she grumbled to herself, thinking that Dean had a lot of nerve criticizing hers when both of his involved castles with weird people and dragons and men who thought... More than a little miffed, she turned around slowly, leaving the man no doubt as to her gender.

The man was broad and if a square could be round he would have been that, too. Truth, he put her in mind of Stromboli... or maybe a stromboli. The only thing that really mattered was Dean and staying out of the dungeon and as far away from a noose as possible. She grinned in relief. At least he wasn't one of the guards.

poke
poke poke
poke

MaryLou winced and slapped the man's hand away. "Knock it off!"

"Good ones," the man responded with a lewd grin. "They almost feel... " POKE!! "real."

"That's because they are real, you nincompoop!"

The man laughed, his entire body shimmying with mirth -- a bowl full of jelly came immediately to mind. "Uh huh. And I'm the Queen of Perversia."

As quickly as his laughter had begun, it came to an end and his demeanor changed completely. "Now then," he said, throwing his meaty arm around her shoulders as he guided her deeper into the castle.

"Do you know Dean?" she asked, walking unsteadily beneath his weight. "He's tall, thin... " She caught her breath and squinted as sunlight shone down brightly on the castle's grass covered inner ward.

Far different from the sparsely populated areas she'd previously passed through, here there were hundreds and hundreds of people: mimes, players, minstrels, musicians, jesters, jugglers, tumblers, acrobats, archers, contortionists. MaryLou couldn't help gawping at a man who had twisted himself into a knot that made a pretzel seem straight. "How does he do that?"

Stromboli laughed. "Poor Prince Egbert," he whispered into her ear.

On further inspection, she noticed servants and long makeshift tables that were groaning under the weight of food that they held. "Did somebody die?" she asked.

He laughed again. "You're such a kidder though whether he survives his marriage night is anyone's guess. You know what I mean?" (Of course she didn't.)

MaryLou winced in pain as his unbelievable sharp elbow jabbed her in the ribs in a totally male effort to bring her in on the joke. "Yeah. Yeah, right. So," she asked again. "Do you know Dean? Dean Raccuglia."

Stromboli eyed her up and down and down again. "You'd best be getting on now before I take you behind the portcullis and... " He gestured by rocking the lower half of his torso back and forth salaciously.

She didn't need a second warning, dashing away into the sea of people. "The tumblers are over there," he called after her.

MaryLou raised her hands over her head and executed a near perfect cartwheel. Bounding back onto her feet, she continued her single-minded retreat, hoping they had an opening for a somersaulter. Now that was something she was good at! Besides, she thought, with all these people around, someone had to have seen Dean.

 

[chris2c4u]

Trumpets trumpeted. Pages paged. Dean quivered; he had heard about knees knocking but this was the first time he had ever indulged in the pastime.

"Come along, off we go to meet your charming bride," said Sigmund and patted Egbert on the back.

Egbert started off in the opposite direction to the rest of the wedding party but was soon brought back to the fold by his Mama, who blew her nose loudly, overcome with emotion.

The crowds cheered as he emerged and walked across the sward with the air of a condemned man. The Priest stood and beamed at him.

"Now, we only await her fragrance the Princess Pansy...ah! Here she is now."

Egbert decided he would stare ahead at the curtain wall and wondered how quick he would have to run at it to knock a hole through to freedom.

The crowd considered cheering as the bride arrived. Several did, mostly official delegates from Vanillia. There was a smattering of laughter and quite a few sharp intakes of breath and mumblings as the round confection of lace on a pair of sturdy legs trotted along the red carpet happily.

"Sweety! Egbert! Ohhh..." Pansy peered from behind her veil; luckily the sight of her licking her lips was blurred.

"What a rather super codpiece," she purred before spoiling the sensuality with a somewhat coarse laugh and hiccup. She peered. "Are you cold? You seem to be shivering."

Egbert / Dean looked around at the sea of faces and blinked. He stared.

"MaryLou?" he called out. "Is that you?"

Pansy was not best pleased on hearing him call out a woman's name but shuffled closer and asked the priest to begin.

MaryLou pushed her way through the crowd to appear before the slight dais that the happy couple (well happy Pansy) stood on. She tilted her head to the side a few times and Dean worried that she had developed some sort of nervous tic. He finally looked in the direction she was nodding and saw the oaken door of the east turret was ajar.

"A moment," he said to the priest who had begun his intonement of the sacred rite.

Pansy swung her be-laced body round like a turret for a 12" gun on a battleship.

"I'd just like to say, before we begin..."

People nearby craned their necks to listen. Dean smiled and leapt in the air, his feet bicycling. He resisted going "BEEP BEEP" but there seemed to be a cloud of dust as he and MaryLou scooted into the tower. she locked the door and they scrambled up the spiral stair.

There was a high pitched wail from outside.

"Dadddddeeeeeeeee!"

 

[Maid of Marvels]

wherein Dean and MaryLou make their escape... or not​

Dean raced to the edge of the turret and peered over, ignoring MaryLou's comment that this had to be the dumbest thing they could have done. "We'll never get out of... " She looked and blinked and blinked again. "Dean? Honey? Who are those two women down there?"

"Umm... " he gulped. "Just some friends I made."

MaryLou looked again. Even at a distance she could see that they were both hookers. Erm... Lookers. And they were waving. And they were calling out his name; well they were calling out the Prince's name.

"Yoo hoo! Eggie! Down here, you hunka hunka! Jump!!"

MaryLou sighed. On the up side, she realized: They had horses!

Spinning Dean around, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. "Look, I don't know if there are rules to this dream thing, but I really don't see any other way out."

Dean nodded. "They are awfully nice girls."

She glared. "I don't care if they're awfully nice. I care that they have horses and... "

Dean peered over the edge and waggled his fingers at the two women. "So what's the plan?" he asked absentmindedly.

"We jump!"

His eyes widened. "It has to be a hundred feet down!"

"The girls will break our fall," MaryLou said confidently. "Then we'll grab the horses and get out of Dodge."

"I don't know about that... " Dean said, watching wide-eyed as MaryLou climbed up onto the edge of the parapet and stood there wobbling, her hand extended.

"Come on!" she hissed as thunderous banging began. "They'll be through any minute! Besides, they did it in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid."

Dean climbed up, straddling the wall all Humpty Dumpty-ish. "You know I don't like heights, Mare."

"Just close your eyes," she said, pulling him to his feet. "And... "

JUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP!!!​

MaryLou Fisher landed with a jolt, bouncing once, twice and a then a third time before shaking her head to clear it. Why people did that when it only made one dizzier, she'd never understand.

"Dean?" she whispered, looking around. She rubbed her eyes and looked around again. "Dean?" she called, a little louder this time. Where was he??? "Oh, Dean. My poor, sweet Dean!" she gasped, realizing that she had made it back without her fiancé yet again.

"Marvellllllllllllllls!!!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs. "Get your sorry ass in here NOW!!"