UnHolyPimpHand
Not LitShark
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2010
- Posts
- 539
Sitting on the border between California and Nevada, the ominously named Death Valley desert represents the lowest altitude in the contiguous United States, 279 feet below sea level at its lowest point. In the lesser-known town of Pahrump Nevada, the Lowlands Chateau was founded in the early fifties as an upscale tourist destination for Vegas high-rollers who wanted something unique for a night or two on their way back to the coast. The great draw of Pahrump was a system of subterranean caverns that extended for miles down and outward underground in all directions—the depths of which remain largely unexplored.
The town itself and subsequently the high-end hotel fell to ruin in the years that followed when non-native bat species began to take up residence and procreate within the depths of the caverns. High-end tourists are notoriously unforgiving of excesses in wildlife excrement.
Yet, despite the lack of tourism and the utter collapse of the economy around it, the Lowlands Chateau remained open and fully operational through it all. The Hotel was actually built into the mouth of the cave system and utilized many natural walls from the cave in its architecture and exists as the only charted entrance to or exit from the cave system.
The Lowlands Chateau existed as a welcome—albeit inexplicable, success among the small town that remained following the economic collapse, and so it would have remained if not for a cave collapse in South America which made the non-native Subterranean Swarm Bats an endangered species. Dr. Walsh from the Conservation Society took an interest in buying the Chateau for the purpose of studying and preserving the bats—but as long as the Chateau remains profitable the property is well outside Dr. Walsh’s budget. She hired Mystery Inc. to pose as hotel guests for the purpose of discovering where and how the hotel makes its money without guests.
The tires of the famous Mystery Machine crunched through the gravel as it pulled under the sandstone archway that led into the grand lobby of the Lowlands Chateau. Tucked into the rockface above the entrance loomed an ominous gargoyle, ancient and massive.
Most of the lobby was comprised almost entirely of the naturally sculpted cavemouth, with a central pillar where a stalagmite had joined with a stalactite. The reception desk was made from a long log of petrified Sequoia tree, retaining its natural outer surface.
“This is the spot, gang!” Fred exclaimed, jumping enthusiastically from the driver’s seat, only to recoil from the heat, even in the shade of the archway, “cripes—it’s hot out here…”
“Like whoa, man! This heat’s like the opposite of chill, man!” Shaggy contributed, throwing open the side door of their psychedelic-painted van to let Scooby-Doo out afterward.
“R’eah! Not chill—phew!” Scoob dramatically dragged his paw across his forehead, flinging an almost obscene quantity of sweat into the air, some of which splashed on Velma’s glasses without anyone but her noticing, “R’I r’ant r’ice ‘ream!”
“Totally, Scoob! A double-fudge, four-banana, rocky road sundae with extra whip and three cherries on top would totally hit the spot right now!” Shaggy agreed enthusiastically, “like, let’s head inside and hope for air conditioning!”
Scooby and Shaggy both raced toward the lobby, eager to outrun the desert heat.
“You know the caverns under this place are still largely unexplored—the Spanish conquistadors who first discovered this place used to believe that the deepest caverns reach all the way down to hell,” Fred announced to the girls, leading them after the other two, delivering exposition helped Fred not to think about how the heat made his neck swell, making his orange ascot feel tight, “Dr. Walsh said there might even be species that have never been identified yet. If we discover something new, she said we’d get to name it.”
Fred held the wide, glass door open for the ladies as they entered the vast, red stone lobby. The temperature behind the glass doors was a comfortable seventy degrees—much to everyone’s relief and Scooby-Doo was comfortably eating a peanut butter popsicle gleefully.
“I hope you don’t mind, I gave one of our artisanal pet treats to your… pet,” the sharply-dressed, gothic-looking, young man behind the petrified counter greeted Fred and the others, “it seemed to be uncomfortable with the heat.”
“R’eah—r’art-‘risinal!” Scoob agreed, licking his chops loudly—utterly oblivious to the clerk’s obvious disdain for the dog’s presence in his lobby.
“Scoob is more of a partner than a pet, but we appreciate the gesture. I’m Fred, this is Velma and that’s Daphne, we’re—um, we should have reservations on the books,” Fred nearly blew their cover by introducing them as Mystery Incorporated, it was usually ownership—not outside interests that contracted them to investigate mysteries. Subterfuge had never been their strong suit.
“Fred! Like, check it out man! They’ve got an all you can eat sandwich bar!” Shaggy called across the echoing, empty lobby, “look at all the fixin’s, man!”
“The… gentleman might want to save his appetite. Our chef prepares a remarkable Wagyu and Rock Lobster surf and turf,” the clerk advised, still mostly talking to Fred as he was decidedly unimpressed with Shaggy’s antics as well as Scooby-Doo, “yes, of course Mr. Jones. We’re, of course, thrilled to have you. My name is Oswald Redding, I am the Lowlands’ Premiere Consigliere. I am here to do anything within my power to make certain that your stay is a pleasant one. Anything you could wish for, you need only ask. If you’d care to sign the registry Mr. Jones, I’d be delighted to show you all to your rooms. We also have a deluxe “Pet Spa” available for your partner—though, unfortunately, we cannot allow animals off leash within the residences.”
At this, Scooby whined, the clean popsicle stick still hanging out of the corner of his mouth.
“We’ll be sure to keep him on leash.” Fred answered quickly while he signed the oversized, leather-bound registry.
“Mr. Jones, Miss Blake, you’ll be sharing the Red Rocks Suite. Mr. Rogers and Miss Dinkley will be in the Hot Springs Suite,” Oswald passed a pair of ancient-looking, brass keys across the counter to Fred, “your bags should already be installed by the time you arrive at your room.”
“Say, speaking of heat—how is it so cool in here?”
“The Lowlands Chateau exists almost entirely underground. The miles of caverns that join this main antechamber intersect a fast-moving, subterranean river at certain intervals. The moving water helps keep the caverns cool in the day. Other parts of the caverns intersect veins of volcanic activity which keep the caverns warm at night—as well as providing the occasional, natural, mineral hot springs—one of which is located in Mr. Rogers and Miss Dinkley’s suite.” Oswald explained, he seemed so polished with his delivery and his crisp uniform—it seemed a stark contrast to his heavy eye makeup and facial piercings.
“Like totally cool, man!” Shaggy wheezed, returning to the lobby with a sandwich stacked up several feet above his head, “let’s check it out Velma!”
All at once, Shaggy seemed to unhinge his jaw and effectively shove the sandwich down his throat by pressing down from above. He finished it in one bite, making a sound that sounded like “ULMP!” and grabbed the room key from Fred as if nothing strange had transpired.
“Ugh,” Oswald was unable to contain his disgust, “if you don’t mind me asking, Mr. Jones. How did you hear about the Chateau and what were you hoping to find during your visit?”
“We… um,” Fred was bad at lying, why did it always fall to him to make up a story, “it’s a couples retreat. We heard that Sinatra used to bring his mistresses here, it seemed romantic.”
“If it’s romance you want, we will endeavor to satisfy.” Oswald bowed dramatically, gesturing to the massive stairway, carved into the red rock face, with two more looming gargoyles on the arm-rails, “we will send word for you when dinner is being served. In the meantime I recommend visiting our natural pools. You can follow signs from your rooms—just whatever you do, don’t go wandering. It’s very easy to get lost in these caverns if you venture past our furnishings.”
At Oswald’s warning, there came an echoing, screech sound from somewhere deep within the tunnel system. Somewhere, bats were stirring.