Domination story help

[dgnr8469]

Hey writers, I could use some help.

I'm trying to start a light domination story of my own and I'm having a bit of a tough time of it (Probably because I've got minimal experience with it in my own life).

I'm not looking for something extreme. I was looking to make it sort of a first time for a woman being dominated by her man.

Any thoughts on how to proceed would be appreciated.

dgnr8469

P.S. : Anyone who can give me any ideas as to how to begin to incorporate light domination into my own sex life can feel free to drop a line as well

 

[ilovewriting]

Fist work out the charactors. Are they husband and wife? Are they a couple? Are they just two people who met at a bar and decided to fuck? Then work out their personalities.
This would be a start, then you can find a situation to match who they are and how they would react to it.
If you need anymore help feel free to ask me.

 

[SexyChele]

"Light domination"? Or do you mean light bondage? In bondage, you typically have a Dom and a sub, but the variations of bondage can go from simply having one's hands tied behind their backs, to being fully suspended, or anything the mind might encompass.

It might be semantics, but I'm just a little confused by your terminology. I'm into BDSM, and have had Doms in the past, and have experienced light bondage to what some would call extreme. I'd be happy to help you in any way that I can, but I need to know if you are looking for a story that introduces Domination/submission into a relationship, or the trappings of BDSM. (One does not have to be a "Dom" to engage in tying some one up, for example)

If you are interested in doing a story on how a man or woman first becomes a Dom/me, I can give you some pointers. As well, if you are looking at bondage or other types of play, I can help you there, too.

Just need a clearer focus on what you need.

 

[ilovewriting]

Ok looks like you have found someone with a lot more experience than mayself so i take back my offer. If you need more help ask SexyChele, my experience in BDSM is close to non existent, and I'm sure she is a better writter than i.
Good luck with it.

 

[Chicklet]

P.S. : Anyone who can give me any ideas as to how to begin to incorporate light domination into my own sex life can feel free to drop a line as well

Hrm...

I'm not as experienced as a lot of people, but then I have a little more experience than some. My boyfriends have never been big on bdsm but I've always had quite a fetish about it, and what I did when I wanted to incorporate it into my sex life is that I went out and bought a couple books. One of them I can't find and I don't remember the name, but it reffered me to "screw the roses, send me the torns" by Philip Miller and Molly Devon. It gave me lots of ideas and info on how to proceed with my experimentation safely. I would say go out, buy this or borrow it from a friend (I'm positive you know someone that owns this book, even if they haven't admitted it) and read through it.

Chicklet

 

[MissTaken]

I would be happy to help, as well.

Once you have a bit more idea concerning whether you are interested in Domination...from a mental perspective, or Domination and kink from the physical perspective, I am sure I could offer some insight.

However, my vote goes with Sexy Chele. She is an incredible resource and communicates ideas and thoughts much more clearly than I do.

 

[Tatewaki]

I would be happy to help, as well.

Once you have a bit more idea concerning whether you are interested in Domination...from a mental perspective, or Domination and kink from the physical perspective, I am sure I could offer some insight.

Miss T,

Nice to see you in my neck of the woods! I might have to take you up on your offer myself. I hope things are going well for you.

Be well, and keep smiling!

Warmest,

-T

 

[dgnr8469]

A little clarification...

OK, I guess I wasn't so clear before...

As far as my characters go, they are a male/female couple. She is interested in having him dominate her. By that I meant that she was interested in the idea of surrendering control of the situation to him. I wasn't thinking so much about the bondage aspect of it (which, incidentally, is something I have some experience in), I was going more with the concept of surrendering control to your partner. I want to bring that aspect more to the forefront of my story. The actual physical aspects (who does what to whom, etc.) I already have a good grasp of. It's just that particular aspect of domination, the surrendering of control to your partner, that I really want to bring out in my writing. Is this the sort of thing that can be done simply by having one character be forceful and authorative during sex? Do bondage and domination (light or otherwise) go hand in hand? I guess these are the things that I am trying to get a better grasp on before I try to commit words to paper.

Any help is appreciated. Feel free to post a reply here or PM me.

Thanx again...
dgnr8469

 

[SexyChele]

Re: A little clarification...

As far as my characters go, they are a male/female couple. She is interested in having him dominate her. By that I meant that she was interested in the idea of surrendering control of the situation to him. I wasn't thinking so much about the bondage aspect of it (which, incidentally, is something I have some experience in), I was going more with the concept of surrendering control to your partner. I want to bring that aspect more to the forefront of my story. The actual physical aspects (who does what to whom, etc.) I already have a good grasp of. It's just that particular aspect of domination, the surrendering of control to your partner, that I really want to bring out in my writing. Is this the sort of thing that can be done simply by having one character be forceful and authorative during sex? Do bondage and domination (light or otherwise) go hand in hand? I guess these are the things that I am trying to get a better grasp on before I try to commit words to paper.

Okay, this is what I thought you were going for - the mental aspect of D/s. I would think this might be a tough subject to handle with being into it, but if you are willing to try, I will certainly offer whatever I can to help.

First, a Dom is not a "Dom" without a submissive. That sounds elementary, I know, but it goes deeper than that. A "sub" is what helps to make a "Dom". Also, contrary to what most people think, the "sub" is more in control than most suspect. The "sub" is the one who ultimately says how far things will go and to what limit s/he is will put up with. Most Doms have the highest respect for their subs, and subs are not all brainless idiots - many are highly intelligent, productive citizens of society. (As are Doms, for that matter) A lot of times subs are portrayed as being "helpless" and totally at the will of another person. It's important to realize that subs are people in and of themselves.

Submission is a gift that is given to a Dom by his/her submissive. Submission is not something that is taken, it is something that is offered. That is an important distinction. If a Dom "takes" submission, or forces it, s/he will lose the trust of the sub and the scene will end, plain and simple. It is through this building up of trust between Dom and sub that the sub is willing to give over more and more control to a Dom - but this usually occurs over a period of time.

The idea of giving control to another person is something that a true submissive feels is right and comfortable. This gets hard to explain, so hang with me, k? Giving control does not mean just lying there doing nothing. And it doesn't mean that a sub will never initiate anything on their own. It means that at a deeper, mental, emotional level, the submissive is willing to let the Dom take control of aspects of the sub's sexual nature. To a true sub, this feels completely natural, normal, and very erotic. Most women not into this might toy with the idea until it becomes too real, and then the idea of control becomes scary and they back away.

The control is not physical. Physical bondage can be one aspect of a D/s relationship, yes. But the bigger picture is the mental aspect. For example, most people believe that in BDSM the most common form of "disciple" (not the "pleasant" erotic kind) is spanking or some other form of physical discomfort. It can be, yes. But you will find most subs are far more fearful of abandonment, even if just for a day or two. That's the mental aspect. The pain can be tolerated and done with in short order. Abandonment (the Dom refusing to see or speak to the sub for a period of time) normally leaves most subs fearful and anxious - it's the worst form of discipline because it involves the mental aspect.

Doms are not brutes who take what they want by brute force. They respectfully accept the gift of submission given to them, and treat it accordingly. They understand that their submissive needs the feel of control to satisfy them, just as a Dom feels the need to control satisfies him/her. However, a Dom who mistreats his sub will soon find the gift it hollow - given to another more worthy. Part of a Doms nature is to push the edge of the envelope - find out just how much further his sub will/can go. But, and this is a big but! A Dom first learns his sub's limits and boundaries and works within them.

Also, if a sub has certain things s/he will not do under any circumstances, a Dom respects that. For example: let's say a sub was brutally raped and the the emotional scars run deep. She is terrified of anything that resembles rape, and it is a boundary she will not cross. A Dom would never insist on her roleplaying a rape scene, or otherwise doing something that might bring back painful memories. Also, he will come to know his sub so that if he were to get "to close", he can read her and back off. Like I said, lots of trust and time.

As far as beginning something like this, I could see a submissive approaching a Dom (or a woman with submissive tendencies approaching a man with Dom tendencies), and putting out suggestions. Again the idea behind the giving up of control is a need the submissive has. This need is what brings sexual satisfaction to her. It's that need you would need to bring out in the submissive. That, and the idea that she is satisfying this need by giving her submission as a gift to her Dom.

There is lots more to say about the subject, and I'm sure others will have more to say on it. If you are interested in more from my perspective, please feel free to PM me. I'd be happy to share with you.

Good luck!

 

[dgnr8469]

Thank you very much

Wow! I don't know any other way to put it. Wow!

Sexy Chele, you have really helped me to get a better grasp on D/s. I think I have a good idea of how to proceed now. If I need any more advice you are definitely one of the first people I will get in touch with.

Thanks to everyone for the tips. I'll let you know how it turns out.

 

[penguindance]

 

[Dr. B Evil]

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[MsLinnet]

two times I have been involved in with domination once was with my first mistress Miss Glen and the second was with my X Lynda the latter wanted me to be a dom and force her and abuse her this is not my seen but I did oblige once by knocking her across the room. she always said I was not violent enough.

 

[Chicklet]

I did oblige once by knocking her across the room.

 

[penguindance]

 

[MsLinnet]

Wow. Um...I really don't think the point of domination is to actually beat on each other, is it? I don't like that. That really sucks, actually.

Didnt say I liked it