Domination Guidance Wanted

[lisa-CD]

Hi all!

Hoping for some advice for myself and my master.

I am a want to be sub, but all to often I want to stop play after I have become too excited. What I really want is for my master to continue longer, however because I beg him to stop, he too stops!

It’s my desire to continue on, and be used.

If there is any of you out there who might have some suggestions, I beg you please share them with us.

Any suggestions that might aid me in continuing or even better suggestions that would encourage my master to be more of a dom.

Love and kisses

Lisa-CD

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Sure tell him he's wimp and see where that goes.

Hi all!

Hoping for some advice for myself and my master.

I am a want to be sub, but all to often I want to stop play after I have become too excited. What I really want is for my master to continue longer, however because I beg him to stop, he too stops!

It’s my desire to continue on, and be used.

If there is any of you out there who might have some suggestions, I beg you please share them with us.

Any suggestions that might aid me in continuing or even better suggestions that would encourage my master to be more of a dom.

Love and kisses

Lisa-CD

 

[Chicklet]

What I really want is for my master to continue longer, however because I beg him to stop, he too stops!

It’s my desire to continue on, and be used.

Have you told him that when you beg for him to stop, what you really want is for him to keep going? If I were you, that's what I'd do. Tell him beforehand to ignore you. Just be honest about what you really want.

 

[lisa-CD]

Have told him what I really want, he still stops!
Have told him he is wimp, and he still stops!

Really want to encourage him to really make me scream, and have no merci on me!

Please all I am sure somewpne has been where I am now in the past and has very valid advice and encouragment

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hmm, well most Masters would have shown you the door for telling them they were a wimp...at the very least you might want to look at if you are really wanting to submit or just bottom to someone. If you still think you want this, perhaps you need to discuss a safeword which gives you the freedom to enjoy begging for him to stop to your heart's content, but which will not signal a need to stop unless you engage the safe word.

Catalina

 

[Shang-ri-la]

You've tried talking and that didn't work. You've called him names and that didn't do the trick. Maybe he's just not the domly Dom you want him to be?

Just a thought.

 

[chris9]

Have told him what I really want, he still stops!
Have told him he is wimp, and he still stops!

Really want to encourage him to really make me scream, and have no merci on me!

Please all I am sure somewpne has been where I am now in the past and has very valid advice and encouragment

I have not been there. Not in a D/s relationship at all. So that's only some thought without any practical experience.
I was thinking if both of you are new to this he might take it slow to learn both your reactions and to not go too far without realizing it in the situation.
Or he might want to make you desperate for more.
Or he isn't as much into this sort of play as you are?

I suppose you have a safe-word so he knows when you are begging him to stop it's not real or you would have used this word?

Have you asked him why he doesn't continue? Maybe that could give you a hint on how to handle the situation?

Or you could both try to include a gag into your play, then you have no way of asking him to stop

 

[catalina_francisco]

Or you could both try to include a gag into your play, then you have no way of asking him to stop

LOL, that is when you have to employ an alternative to the safeword such as dropping a coin...all in the interests of safe play.

Catalina

 

[Chicklet]

You've tried talking and that didn't work. You've called him names and that didn't do the trick. Maybe he's just not the domly Dom you want him to be?

Just a thought.

My last boyfriend wasn't really into dominating me. However, he would do some play to make me happy, which while it meant a lot that he was willing to try to satisfy me, was also sort of a downer because I knew he didn't want it like I wanted it.

This is a very possible situation, here. Or maybe he's doing what he enjoys, and it's just not quite the same as what you want.

 

[Guest]

Stopping?

Hi all!

Hoping for some advice for myself and my master.

I am a want to be sub, but all to often I want to stop play after I have become too excited. What I really want is for my master to continue longer, however because I beg him to stop, he too stops!

It’s my desire to continue on, and be used.

If there is any of you out there who might have some suggestions, I beg you please share them with us.

Any suggestions that might aid me in continuing or even better suggestions that would encourage my master to be more of a dom.

Love and kisses

Lisa-CD

Well, congrats.... You have done what a LOT of folks do sooner or later in their starting out... You have run headlong into an old joke...

It goes something like ..... "No...... OUCH, FUCK, GODSDAMNIT, ... is NOT a Safeword."Etc etc etc...

You just have to establish your safewords.... (see library) .. But YOU have to remember them in the heat of play... Otherwise you are asking your PYL to make a Karnak judgement call every time you ask for a stop...
(A Karnak judgement call is when you want them to read your mind...They DON'T work) Sooner or later, this generally results in a lot of hard feelings stc stc stc...

 

[lisa-CD]

Hi again all.

Thanks for the comments and suggestions. yes I do have a safe word, but never have used it. I basically plead with my master to stop and he does.

I sure most of you have figured out I am gay. I find that after I have climaxed, that I want to stop, but proir to climax I want to go further, much further. Something that I dream of, is cumming on his wonderful cock, and them him feeding it to me, while I bring him to climax. After I have climax I simply can't go further.

I know that he only stops out of concern for me. I really want him to be more forceful.

I welcome any constructive comments that this community may have.

Lisa-CD

 

[mrmadman]

Hmmm, that's an interesting turn: Your name is Lisa, a female name, your lover is male ("he," etc.), and you're gay?? Well, I for one hadn't "figured that out." (Did I miss a clue somewhere?)

Unless I'm just very dense today, or always, this could be related to your problem: You think you've communicated something, when you haven't. That is, it isn't clear to the person you're talking to. Maybe the same thing is happening with your lover.

I sometimes have a hard time when I'm confronted with a plea to "stop" (other than an obviously caricatured joke plea) from someone I care about. Also a hard time denying orgasm, just because I enjoy seeing, hearing, and feeling it from a woman. It's a bit of a counterintuitive thing to do.

My advice is that you tell him again, in clear, unambiguous words, that when you say "stop" you REALLY MEAN KEEP GOING. And tell him yet again if necessary. If he's into the thing, he should catch on.

 

[Betticus]

Hmm, well most Masters would have shown you the door for telling them they were a wimp...at the very least you might want to look at if you are really wanting to submit or just bottom to someone. If you still think you want this, perhaps you need to discuss a safeword which gives you the freedom to enjoy begging for him to stop to your heart's content, but which will not signal a need to stop unless you engage the safe word.

Catalina

I have much more evil ways of dealing with that than showing her the door.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I have much more evil ways of dealing with that than showing her the door.

LOL, you obviously have more energy than me.....I have become jaded with reading emails from possible play partners and scanning profiles of both subs and Dominants of late to the point I am sick of the crap the majority believe is acceptable, and the either "I am submissive but.....' and "I am Dominant so be grateful if I talk to you' BS. I can be patient and tolerant but find most of them are lost in their own personal wank heaven.

Catalina

 

[Betticus]

LOL, you obviously have more energy than me.....I have become jaded with reading emails from possible play partners and scanning profiles of both subs and Dominants of late to the point I am sick of the crap the majority believe is acceptable, and the either "I am submissive but.....' and "I am Dominant so be grateful if I talk to you' BS. I can be patient and tolerant but find most of them are lost in their own personal wank heaven.

Catalina

You are right. I did a cute chick collarme profile for a couple of days just to see what all of the complaining was about. It was horrible. I was close to making one just to post the most pathetic come on lines.

 

[chris9]

Hmmm, that's an interesting turn: Your name is Lisa, a female name, your lover is male ("he," etc.), and you're gay?? Well, I for one hadn't "figured that out." (Did I miss a clue somewhere?)

I don't know if you missed a clue, but if you did, so did I.
I don't really see though how being gay could change anything about either the problem or the advice given.
Both need to communicate more and then figure out a way to make them both happy. Not that much anyone here can say or advice I think.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't know if you missed a clue, but if you did, so did I.
I don't really see though how being gay could change anything about either the problem or the advice given.
Both need to communicate more and then figure out a way to make them both happy. Not that much anyone here can say or advice I think.

Think the clue was CD in the username...but as you say, it doesn't really have any relevance on the issues here, just comes down to the same need for communication on all levels.

Catalina

 

[chris9]

Think the clue was CD in the username...but as you say, it doesn't really have any relevance on the issues here, just comes down to the same need for communication on all levels.

Catalina

CD? Other than Christian Dior and my own initials that doesn't ring a bell.

 

[catalina_francisco]

CD? Other than Christian Dior and my own initials that doesn't ring a bell.

Often used for crossdresser.

Catalina

 

[chris9]

Often used for crossdresser.

Catalina

Thanks

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks

YW

Catalina

 

[lisa-CD]

Hi all

Sorry you missed the clue.

I have used lower case in the lisa in order to reflect a more submissive persona, and the CD as has been pointed out is used to denote a cross-dresser (which I am 24/7, no desire to become a TS (transsexual) though). I just assumed that most recognised these given the nature of this thread. silly me!

I have tried telling over and over and over again, but I guess my partner just takes pity on me. I really wish there was a way to encourge him more.

lisa-CD

 

[Hecate]

Hello lisa-CD,

just flicked through the discussion so forgive me if I am repeating any advise...

Your partner stops dominating when you say stop but you don't use your safeword?

Sounds to me like he doesn't trust you to use it! (yes, I had those concerns once or twice myself as a Domme). Basically what happens with us "sub-loving" folk can be that we fear to take it too far and the sub will not use the safeword just to please us... so how about next time once you get to a point where it is not totally out of context, you DO safeword out?

That might reassure your partner that you are a) in control and b)willing to actually safeword out when needed.

I admit though - another little "questionmark" remained with me about the "you want to stop after climax, but you want to go harder before"....
do you or don't you want him to stop playing after you have climaxed? If the answer is "yes" then he is probably doing exactly what you want?

If you just want it to take longer / play harder before you get to climax, then maybe a different way of communication is required - instead of telling him not to stop when you say so, ask him to deny your orgasm for longer ... how about you indicate that you do not wish to orgasm before he is done with you? (after all, it is "submission", right?;-))

Just some thoughts,
good luck

Hecate