Dominant Mom

[senior784]

I've been a long time "lurker" of this website and really appreciate all of the work of the authors on here. My favorite author is TheTalkMan and some of his stories on dominant females corrupting their male targets has inspired me to come up with this idea:

--Son hasn't seen his mom in years and returns home to introduce her to his future wife.
--Son notices a difference in his mom's appearance as she has been religiously working out since he was away.
--It's immediately apparent that mom is not supportive of son's future wife, in fact, she almost appears jealous of her.
--One night, the son and his wife hear what appears to be his mom and another man making love, only it seems like the man sounds to be in pain.
--The next morning, the son runs into the man leaving the house and he can barely walk. The son assumes that his mom is some sort of sexual dynamo.
--Fast forward a while to where the mom gets so frustrated and jealous of the son's new wife that she challenges her to a wrestling match. If she wins, her son must break off the engagement and the wife must never see her son again. It's during this conversation that her crush on her son is revealed. If the wife wins, mom must stay out of their way and allow the marriage to proceed.
--The match takes place in a warm room and both women wrestle nude. The son must watch outside of the room from a closed circuit camera to ensure he won't interfere. They'll continue to wrestle until one of them is unable to walk. A marathon match continues until the final decisive moment where mom locks the wife in a grapevine and mouths to her son "you're mine." At which point she snaps her hips down and injures the wife.
--Mom, the victor, takes the son upstairs to a fuck session where it becomes apparent that the son can't keep up. She "outfucks" the son to the point of exhaustion.
--The son becomes so enthralled with the mom that he can't be with any other woman.

I know this is somewhat detailed and long winded but I wanted to know what everyone thinks. It also skips around a bit as I'm not very good with "filling in" between the major story points. Again, this is loosely inspired by some of TheTalkMan's stories but I don't have the writing ability to put this idea into a story.

Thoughts?

 

[QuidProQuo77]

I like the idea of a competition. Another one might be that for seven nights he has to fuck them both, separately. They flip a coin to see who goes first the first night, but for the next 6 nights whoever fucked him best and pleased him most the night before gets to go first. At the end of the 7 days, he has to choose between the two.

As an added thrill, no condoms or other birth control allowed - just bareback. If someone gets pregnant, they have to keep the baby.

 

[QuidProQuo77]

Update!

I like the idea of a competition. Another one might be that for seven nights he has to fuck them both, separately. They flip a coin to see who goes first the first night, but for the next 6 nights whoever fucked him best and pleased him most the night before gets to go first. At the end of the 7 days, he has to choose between the two.

As an added thrill, no condoms or other birth control allowed - just bareback. If someone gets pregnant, they have to keep the baby.

I've just now submitted the first chapter of The 7-Day Challenge. Hope you like it!

 

[senior784]

Dominant Mom (Commission Question)

I'd like to offer a commission for any author willing to write the story idea above in my original post. I'd like for it to be about 10 pages and am willing to listen to a price that is reasonable. (I've seen prices ranging from $200-$500 so I'm open to an offer)

QuidProQuo put together a great series of stories off this premise, but I'd really like the outline of this idea get put into a story. Please DM me if you are interested.

Thank you!

 

[HandsInTheDark]

--Fast forward a while to where the mom gets so frustrated and jealous of the son's new wife that she challenges her to a wrestling match. If she wins, her son must break off the engagement and the wife must never see her son again. It's during this conversation that her crush on her son is revealed. If the wife wins, mom must stay out of their way and allow the marriage to proceed....

Thoughts?

It's absurd? What woman is going to stake her future relationship with a man she presumably loves, on some sort of wrestling match with a clearly unstable bitch-mom? If someone *actually* offered that, I imagine the future wife would dump the guy (who wants THAT as an inlaw?) and the guy would try to get therapy for his very disturbed mom. This isn't a dominant mom, this is a psychopath.

I get you're aiming at a very specific kink but this plot hook wanders so far from any notion of sanity that I can't imagine anyone would read past that point.

I mean it's your money. And in the marketplace, the paying customer is always right. But if you need this kind of thing, can't you simply read some Greek myths? They had mommyfucking but the plots were more realistic, and I'm including the magical fleeces and people turning into trees.

 

[senior784]

I appreciate the feedback and the absurdity of the plot is why I'm hoping to commission the story. I tried writing it myself but had difficulty getting to the plot point where the fiancee still wants to be with the son enough that she's willing to go to extreme lengths to accomplish it. (wrestling the mom)

I agree it's probably more applicable to title it "psychopathic mom" but I've read some stories far more bizarre than this one.

 

[LadyVer]

It's absurd? What woman is going to stake her future relationship with a man she presumably loves, on some sort of wrestling match with a clearly unstable bitch-mom? If someone *actually* offered that, I imagine the future wife would dump the guy (who wants THAT as an inlaw?) and the guy would try to get therapy for his very disturbed mom. This isn't a dominant mom, this is a psychopath.

I get you're aiming at a very specific kink but this plot hook wanders so far from any notion of sanity that I can't imagine anyone would read past that point.

I mean it's your money. And in the marketplace, the paying customer is always right. But if you need this kind of thing, can't you simply read some Greek myths? They had mommyfucking but the plots were more realistic, and I'm including the magical fleeces and people turning into trees.

This is an erotic fiction site. Just about anything goes, even the bounds of reality. Just saying.

 

[Hypoxia]

Question:

What woman is going to stake her future relationship with a man she presumably loves, on some sort of wrestling match with a clearly unstable bitch-mom?

Answer:

A woman who is just as nutz as psycho-Mom. No shortage of candidates, hey?

 

[HandsInTheDark]

Question:

Answer:

A woman who is just as nutz as psycho-Mom. No shortage of candidates, hey?

So now the premise is, one mom is so blitheringly insane she wants to wrestle to own her son, and the fiance is so blitheringly insane she thinks that makes sense. I'd feel sorry for the son, but if he's so messed up he doesn't see his best option is to leave them both and move to Timbuktu, he's not a character you can feel sympathy for. The plot requires that they're all totally insane and I'm not even referring to the incest aspect. It only works if the whole story is set in an insane asylum, and the son runs the place and will let them wrestle.

I get that for some folk the hot mom-on-fiance naked wrestling scene pays for a lot of absurdity, and maybe if son-eating-moms were my kink I'd be working harder to make things gel. But at the point where anyone agrees with the mom's proposal, it all falls apart.

Why not make the fight nonconsensual? Mom slaps fiance and tells her she's not good enough for her son; fiance loses it and instead of sensibly fleeing forever, slaps back. (I can believe that happened somewhere to someone.) Catfight ensues. Maybe it all happens at a beach so people can get their quota of mostly-naked oiled cougar-on-girl wrestling. But it's still begging the question of why the guy doesn't break it up and then leave these two psychos far behind.

The OP's already stated he got hung on the same point where I'm balking. When a character refuses to go along with a plot it's clear evidence the plot needs to change.

I do not write incest, even implied, or I'd take this on for the challenge of making it work. But 10 pages is a fairly long story and I'd charge a considerably higher rate than offered; and to take it on I'd have to have the fiance win the fight - she'd turn out to be kick-ass at kick-boxing and she'd do it to rescue her fiance from the suddenly-deranged mom. Mon would die in the fight and it would turn out she had a brain tumor that caused her sudden descent into madness. Son would secretly get a vasectomy just to be sure whatever bad genes he inherited could never be passed on. Fiance would eventually leave son because ultimately she wanted children. And thus the gods or fates have their vengeance on these sad, twisted people.

Anyone ever watch Killer Joe? It's very dark comedy about messed up trailer trash gone violent and evil, but it does show it's possible to write a coherent story about a crazy family and murder (the cold-blooded assassin in the story is the most sympathetic and reasonable character in the movie). The OP might want to start there, it might show how to tell a tale like this. That's all I got though.

 

[EquinoxRising]

This is an erotic fiction site. Just about anything goes, even the bounds of reality. Just saying.

Exactly.

 

[cripple92996]

f

ill write it

 

[Hypoxia]

ObTopic: Ten LIT pages is about 37000 words and I can't really see stretching the basic cartoonish story out past two LIT pages. Yes, it is a cartoon, and yes, the players must all be nutz. Such insanity is sustainable in a vignette but not a novella IMHO. Unless...

Unless the nude wrestling ritual is an annual challenge. After the initial catfight (a draw) mother Moira, her son Stefan, and his partner Petra reach a tense agreement. Moira and Petra will wrestle every year to determine who is best for Stefan. Whomever wins, wins him for a year. If a draw, they both get him.

Why the agreement? Because this is LIT fantasyland and an author can make any rules they want.

Anyway, this setup can easily stretch out to any desired length; just cover one or two decades' of competition and complication. And insanity. Don't forget the insanity.

 

[EquinoxRising]

Story ideas is the biggest rape support group on the site. Enjoy your stay.

I beg to differ. I'm one of the few mods who enforces Lit's rules within my small corner of it. If he wants rape tales (and to not have them deleted) he's better off with LadyG.







ETA:
If anyone feels the need to "fight" within people's threads, it will be removed. This is not the forum to say "your idea is stupid". This is not Author's Hangout either.

Knock the shit off.

 

[Hypoxia]

I've just now submitted the first chapter of The 7-Day Challenge. Hope you like it!

Be sure to link to it for us when it goes live. Will your seven or eight chapters reach the 35000 word threshold? Is yours a wrestling or fuck-a-thon competition?

I see these possibilities:

1) One-time fight, ad-hoc on the beach or other public place
2) One-time fight, pre-arranged as per the OP
3) Seven-day competition like your story
4) Annual match as I suggested
5) Something else

Except in spontaneous #1, the deranged mom endeavors to cheat. All's fair in sex wars, hey? In wrestling: drugs; long, sharpened toe and finger nails; whatever else is possible (I know diddly about wrestling). In a fuck-off: drugs; subliminal suggestion; forbidden tantric techniques; whatever.

Of course the obvious fight twist is that Mom and GF *like* wrestling each other; poor Sonny is left in the cold.

We can't quite pull that in a fuck-off. But let's say that the rival must be a close observer during the fuck-off sessions. Mum must watch (but not interfere) while Sonny fucks GF, and vice-versa. Both learn a lot watching Sonny's reactions to the other. By Night Seven they're even-steven in skill. How can he choose? The decision must rest on an intangible: his emotional attachment. Whose claws are into him most deeply?