Domestic violence: It is not just about hitting someone

[Debbie]

hannah baxter and her darling children were murdered by a monster.

He was in my opinion not mentally unwell or depressed.

His intention was to cause the most pain he could upon his estranged wife by taking away the little people she loved most in the world. Their children.



https://inqld.com.au/news/2020/02/21/stalked-and-controlled-hannah-clarkes-terrifying-final-days/


“I work in domestic violence … so when she first confided in me we spoke about the violence and for such a long time she didn’t believe she was in a domestic violence relationship,” Manja Whaley of Mt Cotton told Nine’s Today show.

“It hadn’t crossed her mind, because as she said to me, her words, ‘he didn’t hit me’.


I feel so sad for the loss of this mum and her children, for the family and friends who have lost someone who by all accounts was a kind, hardworking loving person. Her beautiful children who had their whole lives ahead of them with so much to give and to enjoy taken in an instant by a controlling, possessive person who was despicable and had previous history based on what his family have said and what he had told hannah.



An abuser doesn't always hit his or her victim. It can be insidious. Commenting on what you wear, where you go, who you associate with. Or being difficult in public situations and slowly it erodes your self worth, your self esteem.

Please if you see this sort of situation happening to someone you know reach out, be there for them. They may be afraid and seem reluctant to talk to you.

Their abuser may have said they will harm the children, family or friends if they leave so they stay. Or they worry how will they survive financially etc

Don't give up on them.



If you are in this type of situation? You deserve to be safe, loved and treated with respect and so much more. If you have children? They need you to be as safe as possible and get yourself and them to safety. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

You are not weak, You are not ugly or unlovable or alone despite what your abuser may have told you again and again and again.

I know you are scared. I was too and my sons and I were lucky.We got away safely and I hope that you can find the safe way out too.

Don't worry about your house, car or possessions. The most precious things are your lives.

 

[hobbit.]

where he went wrong (other being a grade one shit anyway) was that he should simply have refered it as BDSM, a game gone wrong, she forgot the safeword.... etc etc

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

where he went wrong (other being a grade one shit anyway) was that he should simply have refered it as BDSM, a game gone wrong, she forgot the safeword.... etc etc

It's a decent excuse but it's getting overused and ruining it for the rest of us.

 

[hobbit.]

It's a decent excuse but it's getting overused and ruining it for the rest of us.

I prefer the full on soul crushing belittling of a victim,er, partner (aka willing participant) which is much more fulfiling if they dont even realise its ''only a game''

the violence should only be used as and when 'insert plausible legal defence here'

its so much safer than walking into a pub or bar and asking if anyone wants a good kicking, and can be done in private.

 

[Debbie]

Horrible to read that the cycle of domestic violence went from generation to generation in this horrible situation.


https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12311985



Car-fire murders: Rowan Baxter's eldest son Isaiah says he was also abused

"We shared a similar bond, as we both suffered years of domestic abuse and torment at the hands of Rowan," Isaiah said in a message to the family read out by Hannah's brother Nathaniel.