Dom/Sub <==> Sense of Humor?

[W8ting4MyRuca]

Okay, I'm fairly new to Lit, and learning about Dom/Sub

I've got a question about male Doms ...

Can you retain a healthy and vibrant sense of humor while maintaining your Dominant persona?

If your sub knows your a crackup ... doesn't it spoil the whole dom play because, the sub ... might just think (ah, the guys not seriously controlling me ... he's just screwing around).

W8ting4MyRuca

 

[Vail_Indigo]

I think you can.
I mean, a big old belly laugh might change tone a bit, sure, but thats in vanilla sex as well.
I know that Ausus and I both laugh at times.
If you can't re-establish dominance easily after a laugh (which, sure, might make you lose that control for a bit), well, you weren't really in control in the first place.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

then again, I am not a male dom

 

[W8ting4MyRuca]

well, the question can apply to femdoms too ...

Let's make it even simpler ... can guys or gals who are funny, also be .... good, strong Doms?

 

[myass_yourhand]

well, the question can apply to femdoms too ...

Let's make it even simpler ... can guys or gals who are funny, also be .... good, strong Doms?

Just like with vanilla men, Dommy men have different personalities. Some are very intense, some are extremely easy going, it just depends on the person. Also, there are tons of different ways to be Dommy. Some men relish the tease - driving their sub to the point of madness with the lightest touches and gentle caresses for hours. I think all Doms (and subs) would agree that it ain't all whips and chains...all the time.

 

[yeishia]

Yes they can

 

[Niriate]

I suppose it would depend on the type of dominant that you are. If you're a more romantic person, I don't see why not. If you're more of a control freak, then I guess it can be harder to keep your stature in line.

Then again.. I've not really done much serious domming lately.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

I think its safe to say that D/s isn't done one way, and so it is really not possible to say what a given event (like laughter) might cause.

 

[Light Ice]

From what little I have seen?

The only thing that makes a Dominant successful as a Dominant is the willingness of the submissive to submit. I really don't believe there is anything a D can truly do to establish Dominance outside of convincing the submissive that they should give them a shot.

But, I should add a caveat.

I've never seen the real BDSM community at work. I've only seen the interactions on Lit. I'm willing to believe they are not the best example.

 

[yeishia]

From what little I have seen?

The only thing that makes a Dominant successful as a Dominant is the willingness of the submissive to submit. I really don't believe there is anything a D can truly do to establish Dominance outside of convincing the submissive that they should give them a shot.

But, I should add a caveat.

I've never seen the real BDSM community at work. I've only seen the interactions on Lit. I'm willing to believe they are not the best example.

*nods* It is purely a Fantasy World Light Ice

That I do get too caught up in on occasion *blushes*

 

[W8ting4MyRuca]

This is good, what I was hoping to hear. So, each D is his or her own D. Use what you have (humor, seduction, intensity) ... or better said ... own what you have to seduce the subs, and if you do it well ... they will come.

 

[Light Ice]

This is good, what I was hoping to hear. So, each D is his or her own D. Use what you have (humor, seduction, intensity) ... or better said ... own what you have to seduce the subs, and if you do it well ... they will come.

Honestly, from what I've seen, only Vail actually seduces subs. In every other case the subs seduce the Dom.

 

[yeishia]

This is good, what I was hoping to hear. So, each D is his or her own D. Use what you have (humor, seduction, intensity) ... or better said ... own what you have to seduce the subs, and if you do it well ... they will come.

Not sure if they will cum

How good are you?

Sorry I could not help that....

I am in a sunny delightfully playful mood this afternoon

 

[yeishia]

Honestly, from what I've seen, only Vail actually seduces subs. In every other case the subs seduce the Dom.

We do not *pouts* Well I do not hehe maybe cos I would totally suck at it

 

[yeishia]

*giggles* Please do not reply to what I just wrote........

I just realized what I said or rather possibly implied depending on your mind set

 

[Veroe]

I think it should be more of a mutual seduction working underneath the exchange of power.

All I can say is that think the art of the tease can up the ante for any D/s scene.
The humorous remark can allay a sudden surge of fear in the sub.
So I think if used strategically, yes, it can mean a dom can have a sense of humor.

Both comedy and the expression of dominance is dependent on timing and reading subtly one's audience or submissive.

The best comics like the best dominants do it instinctively, I think.

 

[filthysami]

A Dom/me with a sense of humor will deliver the very best humiliation play.

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

Of course.
Sense of humour is one of main requirements, when it comes to choosing a sub for myself.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Of course.
Sense of humour is one of main requirements, when it comes to choosing a sub for myself.

certainyl a requirement for anything long term.
Can you imagine a sub who couldn't make you laugh?
(or dom for that matter?)

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

certainyl a requirement for anything long term.
Can you imagine a sub who couldn't make you laugh?
(or dom for that matter?)

Definitely.
I've been there in past, I tried, but never worked out. I just got bored (instantly)

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Definitely.
I've been there in past, I tried, but never worked out. I just got bored (instantly)

Me too.
Actually, vanilla, dom, sub, whatever...if you can't make me laugh, I'll wander

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

Me too.
Actually, vanilla, dom, sub, whatever...if you can't make me laugh, I'll wander

And again, I couldn't agree more!

 

[Vail_Indigo]

And again, I couldn't agree more!

Really, I don't know a woman who disagrees.

 

[W8ting4MyRuca]

Not sure if they will cum

How good are you?

Sorry I could not help that....

I am in a sunny delightfully playful mood this afternoon

Oh, I'm good honey ... I just don't know how good yet. It's rainy where I am today ... rain can bring on some amazingly playful moods.

 

[W8ting4MyRuca]

Glad to hear that the women on Lit think humor is essential, even in D/s relationship. I wouldn't want it any other way either.

Physical sex is limited when compared to the ways you can fuck someone's mind. Humor just expands the possibilities even more.