Dom not Domming Enough Lately

[Turks_baby_girl]

I absolutely HATE being new to boards because there is always some "seasoned" player who gives a smarty pants answer to a serious question. I hope this isn't the case here... makes new people reluctant to post. But here goes......
I have this issue with my Daddy (Dom). Lately I have been feeling a little too "free," as He is going through a few things. I am VERY supportive of Him and what He's going through, and would do absolutely anything to make life easier. But there are certain "cravings" that I have that I am not getting. Now, I know, I am not the one to set the rules and decide what I get and when, but I am REALLY feeling deprived of some vital s and m type stuff. Daddy tells me all the time that He lets things slide (as long as they aren't too serious), but I don't want Him to all the time. I feel that "topping" notion come on, all too often lately. But then He lets things build up and I get punished without mercy for it.
Basically, my Dom is not Domming me! (I felt like rambling..... that's why) So how can I, in the most polite and gentle way, suggest to Daddy that I don't feel "used" enough? Or is it even something that I should bring up to Him, or just wait until He's ready to use me?
Thanks to those who choose to reply.
baby_girl

 

[Quint]

I totally know what you're going through. My other half just started his first year teaching at a pretty inner-city school, and he's so exhausted when he comes home that he just wants to veg. Not very sexy.

Yesterday I politely let him know that I felt like certain of my needs were being unfulfilled, that I understood that he was going through a very difficult time but that I actually thought it would do us both good if he challenged himself at home to make the most of his time here. He always feels so energized after he goes to the gym; I compared that to putting more time and energy into our relationship as well. I think it went over well; it let him know what I was feeling and why I thought it would be in his interest to work on this. I'm not much of one for sitting back and letting dissatisfaction "work itself out," because a lot of the time it just doesn't. It builds up until, by the time I'm talking to him about it, I'm a lot more frustrated and pissed off and I end up saying stuff I really regret. Talk early and talk freely. That's an option in my relationship that I hope you have as well.

G'luck, and welcome to the forum! Sorry you've had bitchy experiences before; the worst you can expect here is the standard "try looking in the library, we've talked about this and have some good answers on tap." Not that bad, really.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Yesterday I politely let him know sopifjididfidjhfdidi that I felt like certain dfdfof my needs dfsfdsdfd were being edjrfs;jfdf, that I understood that he was going through a very difficult time but that I actually thought it would do us both good if he challenged himself at4w80uw4jhgfgv home to make the most of his time here. He always feels so boodleyoodley after he goes to the gym; I compared that to putting more time and energy into our relationship as well.blah blahj blah xxiedurfiod soejhfsodjhf

That's what he hears when he gets home all ragged out.


I think exhaustion is one of the main relationship destroyers. It sure did a number on my last one.

 

[Quint]

That's what he hears when he gets home all ragged out.


I think exhaustion is one of the main relationship destroyers. It sure did a number on my last one.

I'm gonna tell him you called him a boodleyoodley!

 

[Rrrosyn]

I absolutely HATE being new to boards because there is always some "seasoned" player who gives a smarty pants answer to a serious question. I hope this isn't the case here... makes new people reluctant to post. But here goes......
I have this issue with my Daddy (Dom). Lately I have been feeling a little too "free," as He is going through a few things. I am VERY supportive of Him and what He's going through, and would do absolutely anything to make life easier. But there are certain "cravings" that I have that I am not getting. Now, I know, I am not the one to set the rules and decide what I get and when, but I am REALLY feeling deprived of some vital s and m type stuff. Daddy tells me all the time that He lets things slide (as long as they aren't too serious), but I don't want Him to all the time. I feel that "topping" notion come on, all too often lately. But then He lets things build up and I get punished without mercy for it.
Basically, my Dom is not Domming me! (I felt like rambling..... that's why) So how can I, in the most polite and gentle way, suggest to Daddy that I don't feel "used" enough? Or is it even something that I should bring up to Him, or just wait until He's ready to use me?
Thanks to those who choose to reply.
baby_girl

I feel you are talking about the day-to-day things. Like you know the basic rules and you infringe here and there because you either are just slacking or you are trying to get his attention. Am I on the right track?

Things like scenes often get brushed aside when one or the other of you is not feeling well or life get particularly busy. But, I don't feel that is what you're talking about.

Have you talked with him about it? Does he give you a chance to explain (not excuse) why you did something wrong before punishment? That is an opening to talk.

I would hope if my sub felt I as ignoring him in this way that he would be extra serving. That when I was at my most emotionally open (after a hard day) he would give me the spa treatment. Get my favorite drink, kneel and start massaging my favorite parts. That would be my feet for me. Get me all relaxed and then comment that he knows how hard things have been for me and he wishes it didn't have to be that way. But he really needs a bit more... then tell me what he is missing. Remember when you used to... and share openly. By serving and pampering he's put me in the dominant position I belong in and got my head on that mindset. Then he's relaxed me enough to make me receptive to the conversation.

Just an idea.

 

[Turks_baby_girl]

Rrrosyn... very good

Rrrosyn, You pretty much summed up what I am feeling and gave very good advice on what I should do. He does give me a chance to talk openly about things that I've done, but lately, the thing I had been punished for was going against a direct order. (I know I deserved that one)
I just didn't know, until now, how I should approach this, without seeming like I was trying to "run" things.
I am going to plan something extra special for Him this weekend and try and speak with Him then. (I should be doing that anyway)
Thanks for the idea.
baby_girl

 

[Xelebes]

I'm a seasoned player. More specifically, a salty player.

I make witty sarcastic comments too.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Ladies

A girl should always be honest. Ask Him politely for that which you crave...and if that doesn't work try using your feminine wiles, that gets Their attention, but good. Good luck in however you handle it.

 

[Rrrosyn]

Rrrosyn, You pretty much summed up what I am feeling and gave very good advice on what I should do. He does give me a chance to talk openly about things that I've done, but lately, the thing I had been punished for was going against a direct order. (I know I deserved that one)
I just didn't know, until now, how I should approach this, without seeming like I was trying to "run" things.
I am going to plan something extra special for Him this weekend and try and speak with Him then. (I should be doing that anyway)
Thanks for the idea.
baby_girl

I hope it goes well. I know when I am having a hard time I really need that extra servitude just given without my asking. Sometimes it puts me into the mood for other things , but it always puts me into a mood to be receptive to conversation.

Then again we have days like Tuesday. Days when I am having a very hard day and subbie is having a very hard day and when we come together at the end of the day it's like a planetary collision. But it happens. How would he know I will always love and forgive him if he didn't piss me off sometimes?