I am not sure what to do anymore with this submissive that I have. She wants me to be more firm with her. I will tell her to do something or give her a direct order and she questions me on everything. The only time she won't give me a hard time is if I get real angry with her. I swear the sub gets off on it. Any suggestions?
Dom needs advice
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leeroy jenkins
Just me
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Dom17 said:
Whatever you might do for punishment, tell her when she disobeys or questions you then she will receive xx amount of it?? Make sure its something she hates so it will reinforce her desire to obey.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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Dom17 said:
Most people will agree that good open communication is the key in most D/s relationships . I endorse that from personal experience. If as you say ' The only time she won't give me a hard time is if I get real angry with her. I swear the sub gets off on it' then perhaps try ignoring her when she behaves in a manner that you don't approve of as a quick fix for now, while you regroup your direction and resources.
Sounds like you have a bit of a SAMMY on your hands. I am sure many here will give excellent advise and we do have the Library its a wonderful resource.
You might wish to consider a browse through the following ..........Essays Site
A little bit of sammy behaviour can be 'cute' providing the Dominant is prepared to tolerate it and the submissive is clearly aware where the line is drawn and respects that , alot as you are already aware undermines the dynamics of TPE and 'topping' from the bottom as a mode of communication is both manipulative and dysfunctional.
Good Luck
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
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Sometimes a little SAMMY can go a long way with me, but, on the other hand, if she wants to test me like that, I can show her who's boss. I have no problem giving a woman the kind of treatment she desires, as long as I'm sure that's what she expects.@}-}rebecca---- said:Most people will agree that good open communication is the key in most D/s relationships . I endorse that from personal experience. If as you say ' The only time she won't give me a hard time is if I get real angry with her. I swear the sub gets off on it' then perhaps try ignoring her when she behaves in a manner that you don't approve of as a quick fix for now, while you regroup your direction and resources.
Sounds like you have a bit of a SAMMY on your hands. I am sure many here will give excellent advise and we do have the Library its a wonderful resource.
You might wish to consider a browse through the following ..........Essays Site
A little bit of sammy behaviour can be 'cute' providing the Dominant is prepared to tolerate it and the submissive is clearly aware where the line is drawn and respects that , alot as you are already aware undermines the dynamics of TPE and 'topping' from the bottom as a mode of communication is both manipulative and dysfunctional.
Good Luck
But, you should first communicate what you each expect. Talk with her. Make sure you both are on the same page and that's what she wants from you. Sure, it can kill some of the spontanious chemistry between you at first, but once you are sure what she wants from you, it's easier to give it to her. It's more fun, too.
NOW, if you don't like her being such a SAMMY, you need to tall her, NOT show her. Again, communicate to her your own desires, if her actions aren't quite what you want from her. Actions alone, without the proper communication, can seriously damage your relationship. You could get too rough, or maybe never get rough enough. You could think she deserves a good beating, from her SAMMY attitude, when it might be that she just misunderstands you.
Communicate with her. Tell her what you expect from her and let her tell you what she expects from you. Then, the next time the SAMMY in her questions your orders, you will know what to do.
Ignore
If your sub gets off on anger, dont give it to her, she questions or disobeys remove her from your presence. A bit like sticking a naughty child in their room. Subs dislike being ignored. Send her to stand in the corner or to a room as soon as she questions you.
If your sub gets off on anger, dont give it to her, she questions or disobeys remove her from your presence. A bit like sticking a naughty child in their room. Subs dislike being ignored. Send her to stand in the corner or to a room as soon as she questions you.
DVS
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Yeah, I noticed that. But, I enjoy seeing what I type on the screen sometimes. Some people are thrilled by the simple things in life. Be it creating alts and watching the answers to your unusual questions, or posting to the same threads just to see your words on the screen.WriterDom said:
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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WriterDom said:
Oh damn I never thought .....claims newbie status for a reprival
question from Dom 17
who is toybill and what is alt night of fun? I am not sure what you guys are talking about. Thanks for your advice. I had a long talk with my sub this evening and I set her straight on a few things. I did take the advice of ignoring her when she questions me and I sent her to the living room and had her face the wall and think about her behavior. I told her this will happen each time she questions me unless she doesnt understand something. I dont have alot of experience being a Dom. I have had 2 subs in my past. This is now my third and is she a handful. SHe is so emotional and requires so much attention. I have a question. Can a Dom have a Mentor? I really need some advice on how to handle this submissive.
who is toybill and what is alt night of fun? I am not sure what you guys are talking about. Thanks for your advice. I had a long talk with my sub this evening and I set her straight on a few things. I did take the advice of ignoring her when she questions me and I sent her to the living room and had her face the wall and think about her behavior. I told her this will happen each time she questions me unless she doesnt understand something. I dont have alot of experience being a Dom. I have had 2 subs in my past. This is now my third and is she a handful. SHe is so emotional and requires so much attention. I have a question. Can a Dom have a Mentor? I really need some advice on how to handle this submissive.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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Dom17 said:
Yes Dom/mes can ( fact part ) and often 'should' ( opinion part ) have Mentors.Submissives can also benefit in same though I would offer slightly different advise for the criteria of a Mentor for a submissive.
Tricky business though not only 'finding' someone to Mentor you if you don't already have a Community around you and have known anyone long enough to respect them enough via experience of their 'character' to have any confidence that their guidance is going to be of value. As you are aware anyone can give advise, the quality and worth of it is another story........smiles
Its quite a responsibility being a Mentor if you take the position in sincerity. Pulling one 'out of thin air' seems fairly daunting to me. If your not for what ever reason best known to yourself mixing within a D/s Community offline I can only come up with 2 possible options for you to consider. One is if you read something written by a Dominant person that 'gels with/compliments' your core beliefs then send them an email. If they can not assist directly then perhaps they may be able to refer you to another. The second idea I had was perhaps you advertise at 'reliable' goal orientated D/s sites online doing much the same thing as the first.
I would suggest if you have a read at
The Society of Janus
You may find it a reasonable starting point in your search. Its mind, body and soul orientated and community focused . Good luck from there .
@}-}rebecca----
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