Dom Called

[michelina]

Let's see where do I begin. He called around 12 midnight last night. He told me he received all of my messages and the email I sent him. We talked over the phone for about an hour. I asked him for his forgiveness and I again told him how truly sorry I was for my behavior/tone/attitude.
He ended the relationship. I asked him why and he told me because of that one night over the phone the way I talked to him. I said to him, Sir, this was my very first mistake during training is there anything I can say or do to change your mind. He said no. Before we hung up he did say this: I will not ever tolerate being talked to like that from any submissive. It is a harsh lesson my dear and I hope the next dom that you are with, you will not repeat this mistake. I tried to say something to him and he told me, I dont want to hear it. It is over, do you understand. I said, yes sir I understand. Click went the phone on his end and then I hung up my phone.

I didnt know if he was even going to call me ever again. I was hoping that if and when he did call that things would work out. I guess I was wrong. I have learned a very valuable lesson. I wont make this mistake again. Whether I go for an online master or a relationship, I will have alot of questions and I hope the dom will be patient and caring and understanding.

 

[dolf]

{{{hugs}}}
i think he made the best choice for both of you...
xx

 

[m wisdom]

It seams like he's a very impatient Dom so I would have to agree with Dolf that it was probably for the best. You can find someone much better.

 

[graceanne]

Let's see where do I begin. He called around 12 midnight last night. He told me he received all of my messages and the email I sent him. We talked over the phone for about an hour. I asked him for his forgiveness and I again told him how truly sorry I was for my behavior/tone/attitude.
He ended the relationship. I asked him why and he told me because of that one night over the phone the way I talked to him. I said to him, Sir, this was my very first mistake during training is there anything I can say or do to change your mind. He said no. Before we hung up he did say this: I will not ever tolerate being talked to like that from any submissive. It is a harsh lesson my dear and I hope the next dom that you are with, you will not repeat this mistake. I tried to say something to him and he told me, I dont want to hear it. It is over, do you understand. I said, yes sir I understand. Click went the phone on his end and then I hung up my phone.

I didnt know if he was even going to call me ever again. I was hoping that if and when he did call that things would work out. I guess I was wrong. I have learned a very valuable lesson. I wont make this mistake again. Whether I go for an online master or a relationship, I will have alot of questions and I hope the dom will be patient and caring and understanding.

*hugs* I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I think that he was hasty, but then I wasn't there. I think you will probably be happier without him. *hug*

 

[LadyG]

Well, I think you're better off without him.

After 6 months of 'nilla and a few weeks of training, he walks? I don't think you are the only one that has a few things to learn.

*hugs*

You can do much better.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I will not ever tolerate being talked to like that from any submissive.

So his response to being backtalked is to walk on you? Well, that's "my way or the highway" with a vengeance. Tres lame.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Sounds almost as though he was just looking for an excuse out, and you gave him one. If this is the case, break-up was inevitable anyway. Talk about cowardly! Now you are stuck with the burden of feeling like it was all your fault.

Sorry about your misfortune.

 

[witcha]

Won't say anything new here really....but I agree it might be for the better for you..so just try not to put yourself so much down and some ((((((hugs))))))) for you




witcha

 

[Arles]

Everyone makes mistakes, beginners and vets alike. While it's his prerogative, I guess, to take the "one-and-done" approach, I'm not sure there's any "lesson" to take away from it except that he was obviously more interested in getting out than in training you.

Whatever happened to fix the problem, not the blame?

I agree with the others that in the long run, you're probably better off.

 

[silver_inari]

Let's see where do I begin. He called around 12 midnight last night. He told me he received all of my messages and the email I sent him. We talked over the phone for about an hour. I asked him for his forgiveness and I again told him how truly sorry I was for my behavior/tone/attitude.
He ended the relationship. I asked him why and he told me because of that one night over the phone the way I talked to him. I said to him, Sir, this was my very first mistake during training is there anything I can say or do to change your mind. He said no. Before we hung up he did say this: I will not ever tolerate being talked to like that from any submissive. It is a harsh lesson my dear and I hope the next dom that you are with, you will not repeat this mistake. I tried to say something to him and he told me, I dont want to hear it. It is over, do you understand. I said, yes sir I understand. Click went the phone on his end and then I hung up my phone.

I didnt know if he was even going to call me ever again. I was hoping that if and when he did call that things would work out. I guess I was wrong. I have learned a very valuable lesson. I wont make this mistake again. Whether I go for an online master or a relationship, I will have alot of questions and I hope the dom will be patient and caring and understanding.

I was reading your thread and I certainly think you might be better off with someone who has the patience to teach you. Yuo say you are new to BDSM and were only in training for a week? A rather harsh lesson, I think. But then again, maybe that is his style, although I am not convinced it is the most effective teaching style.

 

[fallon2]

A Good Dom

wants to work at making this very special relationship work for the both of them.

My belief is that he used it to break up.

It is NOT you. Remember that, michelina.

 

[bunny bondage]

i'll just add to the chorus here and say that there's WAY better doms out there. i hate when doms think of subs as doormats. you have the right to whatever kind of relationship you want, and it's clear he's not the one to have it with. better luck in the future, hun, i'm sure you'll find someone worthy of you!

 

[Anna Sue]

Not much to add just a big hug for you and I know it is hard to understand right now
But for the long run you are better off without him.
Only because your are Submissive in nature doesn’t mean you have to change your whole personality.

Again a big hug and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.


Anna Sue

 

[FungiUg]

Wow.

Any wothwhile relationship takes work from all parties involved. That includes accepting mistakes, working through issues and so on. In other words, it takes commitment.

At the first issue he walks away? I don't see any commitment there at all. And I would imagine that any relationship he enters into with that attitude is destined for the same result.

The only thing I can think of is that your response shattered some sort of mental fantasy-land that he had in his mind, and he was suddenly confronted with the reality of you as a person. Now normally that's not a bad thing -- the whole thrill of BDSM is that we get to live out our fantasies with real people. But for some reason he obviously wasn't prepared to deal with the real you.

Of course, the other alternative is that he has an issue with anger management.

Either way, as other people have said, you are better off finding someone more compatible.

Finding a partner is always hard. When you add in the complication of finding a compatible kink partner, it gets harder. BDSM is no exception. The only thing I can offer are the three P's:

Practice Pretend Patience

(Well, no one is really patient about this stuff, is it? We want it all, and we want it now! So the best we can do is pretend.)

 

[Arles]

Practice Pretend Patience

So that's my problem! I've been Practicing Real Patience all this time...

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Pity

that Ebonyfire won't reply to this.

 

[FungiUg]

You can't borrow her hat and reply in-proxy?

From memory, Eb has very firm rules about "do what I say or you are out of here!" It would be interesting to get her viewpoint on how she would handle something like this.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

You can't borrow her hat and reply in-proxy?

Newp ... with all those dreadlocks, her hat would be down around my chin.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I have something to add here.
From what i have read in her posts and a few private messages, (that will remain private) Im pretty sure michelina knew that what happened was going to happen when she did what she did. It's sad to learn something the hard way, but its part of growing as a submissive woman.

 

[FungiUg]

Oh? The "I wonder what will happen if I press this big red button labled 'Don't Press'?" lesson?

 

[Kajira Callista]

Oh? The "I wonder what will happen if I press this big red button labled 'Don't Press'?" lesson?

lol yes....that one. i would never press a button that said that

 

[LadyG]

Regardless, they had a 6 month relationship prior to her "training", which leads me to believe that he didn't care a whit before or after.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Regardless, they had a 6 month relationship prior to her "training", which leads me to believe that he didn't care a whit before or after.

how can you form an opinion like that without even knowing the two ppl involved or anything past what she posted about their relationship?

 

[LadyG]

how can you form an opinion like that without even knowing the two ppl involved or anything past what she posted about their relationship?

I formed my opinion based on every post she made. I said it was MY opinion, not necessarily right or wrong and I believe I'm entitled to that?

After 6 months together, in a relationship, to walk away like that shows "me" a lack of feelings on his part.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I formed my opinion based on every post she made. I said it was MY opinion, not necessarily right or wrong and I believe I'm entitled to that?

After 6 months together, in a relationship, to walk away like that shows "me" a lack of feelings on his part.

i do believe i asked how you formed it based on what was posted not if you were entitled to an opinion. please dont add to my posts what you *thought* i meant. and by the same token i think im entitled to ask a question pertaining to a post you made for clarification if i choose to.